I got this off an e-mail from a friend, so this is not mine and I take no claim in it. Please don't do these things in real life, it's just for fun and a good laugh. And if あなた do do these things (number 4 fo example), than I'm sorry but you're really dumb.
Enjoy!
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6 Ways On How To Deal With 鮫, サメ Attacks:
1) DON'T SWIM IN THE SEA
もっと見る than 99% of 鮫, サメ attacks happen in large watermasses- also know as oceans. An easy way to tell if あなた are in an ocean is to taste the water- it will taste like salt.
2) SWIM ALONGSIDE FAT PEOPLE
Make sure that there are always fat people in the water with you. Odds are that あなた can swim faster than them- increasing your chances of escape.
3) SUNBLOCK
Replace the sunblock of the person 次 to あなた with BBQ rib sauce.
4) DON'T GO INTO THE WATER WITHOUT A KNIFE
As soon as あなた spot a shark- furiously stab the person 次 to you. As soon as he is bleeding proufusely- swim away as fast as あなた can.
5) LISTEN CAREFULLY
Every 鮫, サメ has a theme song. If あなた here the following- swim for your life: da-dam. da-dam. da-dam if it's fast like this: dadam, dadam, dadam- give up -you are already screwed.
6) DON'T PANIC
Stay calm if a 鮫, サメ has got you. At this late stage あなた are screwed in any case- survival is not an option... The people on the ビーチ do not appreciate someone screaming & shouting like a lunatic- it just isn't pleasant -think of the children damnit!
Happy swimming! :D
Enjoy!
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6 Ways On How To Deal With 鮫, サメ Attacks:
1) DON'T SWIM IN THE SEA
もっと見る than 99% of 鮫, サメ attacks happen in large watermasses- also know as oceans. An easy way to tell if あなた are in an ocean is to taste the water- it will taste like salt.
2) SWIM ALONGSIDE FAT PEOPLE
Make sure that there are always fat people in the water with you. Odds are that あなた can swim faster than them- increasing your chances of escape.
3) SUNBLOCK
Replace the sunblock of the person 次 to あなた with BBQ rib sauce.
4) DON'T GO INTO THE WATER WITHOUT A KNIFE
As soon as あなた spot a shark- furiously stab the person 次 to you. As soon as he is bleeding proufusely- swim away as fast as あなた can.
5) LISTEN CAREFULLY
Every 鮫, サメ has a theme song. If あなた here the following- swim for your life: da-dam. da-dam. da-dam if it's fast like this: dadam, dadam, dadam- give up -you are already screwed.
6) DON'T PANIC
Stay calm if a 鮫, サメ has got you. At this late stage あなた are screwed in any case- survival is not an option... The people on the ビーチ do not appreciate someone screaming & shouting like a lunatic- it just isn't pleasant -think of the children damnit!
Happy swimming! :D
Ask everyone あなた meet, "Hot enough for you?"
Sing the "Barney" theme song as loud as あなた can.
If あなた see kids building a sand castle, say, "That's not a real castle!"
Every time when you're about to アヒル, 鴨 under the water, yell, "Down periscope!"
Go swimming in a full business suit. If people notice, act like they're the weirdos.
Put sea shell to your ear and announce to first person to pass by, "It's for you!" Repeat several times.
Throw jellyfish around.
Tune radio to all-news station and blast as loud as あなた can, then nod your head and snap your fingers like you're listening to some happenin' tunes.
Act like a sea gull.
Wear t-shirt that says, "I'm the coolest dude on this pathetic beach. No autographs please."
Sing the "Barney" theme song as loud as あなた can.
If あなた see kids building a sand castle, say, "That's not a real castle!"
Every time when you're about to アヒル, 鴨 under the water, yell, "Down periscope!"
Go swimming in a full business suit. If people notice, act like they're the weirdos.
Put sea shell to your ear and announce to first person to pass by, "It's for you!" Repeat several times.
Throw jellyfish around.
Tune radio to all-news station and blast as loud as あなた can, then nod your head and snap your fingers like you're listening to some happenin' tunes.
Act like a sea gull.
Wear t-shirt that says, "I'm the coolest dude on this pathetic beach. No autographs please."
Materials:
Petroleum Jelly
Eyeshadow,body shimmer, または pigments (for color)
small discardable and microwavable bowl
Discardable stirrer
lipgloss container with lids
Procedure:
1.Scoop some petroleum in the small bowl (more petroleum もっと見る gloss!)
2.Microwave for 5 min または completely melted
3.Take out the petroleum and mix in the eyeshadow keep on putting もっと見る till あなた reach your desired shade.
4.Mix well. Then pour in your mixture into the lipgloss container. Put in the freewer for 15-30 minutes.
Enjoy!!
Tip:to make flavored lip gloss add kool-aid instead (will stain lips).
Petroleum Jelly
Eyeshadow,body shimmer, または pigments (for color)
small discardable and microwavable bowl
Discardable stirrer
lipgloss container with lids
Procedure:
1.Scoop some petroleum in the small bowl (more petroleum もっと見る gloss!)
2.Microwave for 5 min または completely melted
3.Take out the petroleum and mix in the eyeshadow keep on putting もっと見る till あなた reach your desired shade.
4.Mix well. Then pour in your mixture into the lipgloss container. Put in the freewer for 15-30 minutes.
Enjoy!!
Tip:to make flavored lip gloss add kool-aid instead (will stain lips).
Okay, so I was sitting on the ソファー, ソファ last night watching some rubbish テレビ 表示する and texting my boyfriend Liam. Anyway I think he'd had too much sugar that night cause he was all like 'I feel special when I wear my 虹 colored raincoat' and stuff. So then he text and was like 'I 愛 あなた soooooo much' and so I was like 'I 愛 あなた more' and he was like 'NO!' and I was like Yes! and he was like 'No cause... cause... cause well I'm getting あなた a birthday present! And so I'm like 'I'm getting あなた one first' (cause his birthday is before mine) and then like ten 分 later he's like damn. And so I'm like 'I win'.
THE END
THE END
A little motavational poem I found link. Enjoy. ;P
At age 4, success is...not peeing in your pants.
___At age 12, success is...having friends.
____At age 16, success is...having a driver's license.
_______At age 20, success is...having sex.
________At age 35, success is...having money.
________At age 50, success is...having money.
_______At age 60, success is...having sex.
_____At age 70, success is...having a driver's license.
___At age 75, success is...having friends.
At age 90, success is...not peeing in your pants.
At age 4, success is...not peeing in your pants.
___At age 12, success is...having friends.
____At age 16, success is...having a driver's license.
_______At age 20, success is...having sex.
________At age 35, success is...having money.
________At age 50, success is...having money.
_______At age 60, success is...having sex.
_____At age 70, success is...having a driver's license.
___At age 75, success is...having friends.
At age 90, success is...not peeing in your pants.
The European Union recently expanded to include a total of 25 member states. Some people are concerned,however,that problems will arise with anemployment,and that high influx of immigrants from the former Eastern block countries will cause difficulties for the the other member states. What are the positive and negative consequences of including former Eastern block countries in the EU? Which do あなた think are greater,the advantages または disadvantages,for the newly expanded,25-member EU?
^^PLEASE someone help me :'(
^^PLEASE someone help me :'(
THE BOYFRIEND GUIDE
1) She walks away from あなた mad *follow her*
2) She stares at your lips *kiss her*
3) When she pushes あなた または hits あなた *grab her and don't let go*
4) When she brushes your hand *grab hers*
5) If she's cold *give her your jacket...or hold her*
6) If she don't talk to あなた first *go talk to her*
7) When she goes to her フレンズ house *prank call her*
THE GIRLFRIEND GUIDE
1) If he pokes あなた *get closer*
2) If he want's a guys night out *don't complain*
3) If he doesn't text back *don't jump to conclusions*
4) If he doesn't say anything *don't think he doesn't care*
5) If he's ticklish *he's a keeper*
6) If he lets あなた wear his clothing *he likes あなた in his stuff*
7) If あなた are tired of waiting for him to make the first 移動する *make it yourself*
1) She walks away from あなた mad *follow her*
2) She stares at your lips *kiss her*
3) When she pushes あなた または hits あなた *grab her and don't let go*
4) When she brushes your hand *grab hers*
5) If she's cold *give her your jacket...or hold her*
6) If she don't talk to あなた first *go talk to her*
7) When she goes to her フレンズ house *prank call her*
THE GIRLFRIEND GUIDE
1) If he pokes あなた *get closer*
2) If he want's a guys night out *don't complain*
3) If he doesn't text back *don't jump to conclusions*
4) If he doesn't say anything *don't think he doesn't care*
5) If he's ticklish *he's a keeper*
6) If he lets あなた wear his clothing *he likes あなた in his stuff*
7) If あなた are tired of waiting for him to make the first 移動する *make it yourself*
So, it's been five years since あなた passed. I wanted to take a few 分 to remind people of how wonderful あなた were and how much あなた impacted my life. Honestly, even now, I miss talking to you. I miss your 愛 リスペクト on my ウォール and I miss just being able to talk to someone and being to say the things that I can't to anyone else.
Do あなた remember when あなた told me I was ten feet tall and bulletproof? It was almost amusing, but I remember just being pissed off at pumpkinqueen and wanting to throttle her. I also remember that あなた calmed me down and I took a step back and decided not to say anything too stupid.
I wish we'd had もっと見る time to be フレンズ and hang out together. I really do. あなた were a wonderful and kind person, with plenty of smarts. And I appreciated every moment of being able to talk to あなた and have someone I could rely on when I needed it.
Thank あなた so much.
R.I.P BLW.
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Do あなた remember when あなた told me I was ten feet tall and bulletproof? It was almost amusing, but I remember just being pissed off at pumpkinqueen and wanting to throttle her. I also remember that あなた calmed me down and I took a step back and decided not to say anything too stupid.
I wish we'd had もっと見る time to be フレンズ and hang out together. I really do. あなた were a wonderful and kind person, with plenty of smarts. And I appreciated every moment of being able to talk to あなた and have someone I could rely on when I needed it.
Thank あなた so much.
R.I.P BLW.
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I noticed some very sad things if あなた replay the first Red Dead after the prequel..
1: Jack's 苦い line "teach me and your just run away again または something" is now sadder when the prequel reveals John ran off for a whole 年 when Jack was really little. Jack's clearly still angry.
2: Dutch.. He's some kinda Empty Shell of the man we once knew. The man he and Hosea raised from childhood is now out to kill または capture him. And he clearly hasn't gotten better, mentally. He is now just another crazed enemy.
3: Uncle's death.. Despite having taken a level in jerkass, we feel like we know the man によって this point. It's like meeting up with an friend... And than watching them get murdered.
4: If あなた have Jack kill Ross, bascally Arthur and John died in vein.. But sadly this is probably the true ending..
5: Seeing Bill and Javier can be rough now..
1: Jack's 苦い line "teach me and your just run away again または something" is now sadder when the prequel reveals John ran off for a whole 年 when Jack was really little. Jack's clearly still angry.
2: Dutch.. He's some kinda Empty Shell of the man we once knew. The man he and Hosea raised from childhood is now out to kill または capture him. And he clearly hasn't gotten better, mentally. He is now just another crazed enemy.
3: Uncle's death.. Despite having taken a level in jerkass, we feel like we know the man によって this point. It's like meeting up with an friend... And than watching them get murdered.
4: If あなた have Jack kill Ross, bascally Arthur and John died in vein.. But sadly this is probably the true ending..
5: Seeing Bill and Javier can be rough now..