HEY! What do あなた think you're doing!?

???: Excuse us, but the administrators of ファンポップ have told us to lock あなた in here. But have no worries, for we have 与えられた あなた a fun task to work on while they want あなた trapped in here!

Oh yeah. Because solitary confinement is so much fun. >.<

???: They want あなた to jot down any and all thoughts that come open your mind. Let us know when you've gone insane! :)

*Door Slams*

That was the worst fuckin' prologue ever. 1/10 for character development, and 0/10 for kindness.

Well, since I have nothing else to do, here it goes. I suppose.

Wait a minute, I might be able to make a beat out of that! One second, please...

♫I 発言しました here it goes, I suppose, because lord knows that this assignment is a load of toads!♫

Ah, screw that. This is why I never became a rapper. :P

...But what if KONATA IZUMI FROM LUCKY 星, つ星 WAS A RAPPER!?



Who am I kidding, that's the worst idea I've had all year. Fuckin' weeaboo trash.

....Why am I here?

....What is my purpose in life?

And most importantly, why am I still a virgin?

...The time is 4:32 PM and I wanna hang myself.

Haha, I still remember back in the 日 when people would do those jump-scare videos. Just reminds me, that's all.

Ooh, I 愛 this song! link

I will literally drive あなた to delirium によって making あなた think whether または not the video is a jump-scare. Just havin' some fun. :)

Which is clearly not as abundant in this prison cell as I would've wanted. :P

???: Hey, you! In there, have あなた got a moment?

Sure, and take your damn time. Bring me a ピザ while you're at it, not like I have anything else to do.

???: Thanks, and sure...So what exactly are あなた doing in here?

I dunno, some nimrods told me to think of ランダム shit in here. Not that it's my definition of entertaining. *Nibbles on Pizza*

???: Hey, mind if I 登録する you? I just ran away from an asylum, so I'm pretty fresh on ideas! Name's Wesley, nice to meet'cha! :)

Man, I'm making some FINE フレンズ today. :P

Wesley: Hey, have あなた ever wondered what it would be like if a giant blue flying ピザ took control of a 上, ページのトップへ secret terrorist organization in 2093 while simultaneously 歌う a pop song and whipping an innocent VHS Player?



...Just what in the FUCK did あなた guys talk about in that asylum again?

Wesley: Nothing too out of the ordin-AH!

*Throws Out Window*

And DON'T COME BACK!

Wesley: Man, they don't pay me enough for this. @___@

They don't pay あなた at all, haha!

So anyway...Fuck, has it only been an hour? Something please happen already!

*KNOCK KNOCK*

He-hey, that plot manipulation though! WHO'S THE MAN? ;)

Fanpop: This is the ファンポップ staff, put'cher hands in the air!

♫Like あなた don't care, gliiiide によって the people as they start to look and stare! :D♫

*Chock Guns*

Huh, I guess they're not a ファン of Cameo. :P

Fanpop: Now give us your wallet!

...You're actually serious? That thing's もっと見る empty than Russia's economy after the first World War!

Fanpop: Okay, now you're going to die.

Wait, the ファンポップ staff is made up of Russians?

Fanpop: Больно, ублюдок, мальчики!

FUCK! If only I had the script of this ahead of time. Now I know not to make references to history ever again. あなた hearing this, Mauserfan?

*Approximately .000001 秒 later....*

JESUS, do they know how to tie あなた up quickly または what? If only they were that fast in bed, haha!

*Throws in decayed chamber filled with rats*

Fanpop: Now STAY in there!

Sure thing, but あなた forgot something...

Fanpop: ?

You're not Fanpop, you're just some corrupted copy of them!

Fanpop: How dare あなた accuse us of not being the REAL Fanpop!

Guys, give it up. I mean, あなた all have mustaches that would make Mario jealous.

Fanpop: Yeah, so what?

Alright, fine. Can あなた tell me when ファンポップ was created?

Fanpop: Uhh, in 1996-

*SLAM*

AND STAY OUT! ;)

Wesley: How's it goin', あなた guys got thrown out too? XD

Fanpop: Мы бы сошли с рук, если бы не это вмешательство в Смерть!

Now, to finish this article. It should be something dramatic, like...a POEM! Yeah, channel my inner Edgar Allen Poe. The girls'll be all over me.

A Maniac's Thoughts, A Maniac's Thoughts

Oh how they got so ロスト in the plot

To their own demise have I seen

How surprisingly fun of an afternoon that this has bean

What, you're telling me that 豆 doesn't count, be quiet!

One もっと見る word outta あなた and I'll start a riot!

Like that one Three Days Grace song, but I digress

...Man, this is one weird fucking article, no contest

Anyway, I gotta go now, and no offense to the Russians!

Then again, it's the Internet, they've already started the hate discussions

Being complete assholes, and 芝居 like tools

I shall leave on this note:

APRIL FUCKIN' FOOLS!