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3

posted by Fangirl99

As Vanessa walked into the spooky house,she looked for Dr.Vamp.

"hello?is anybody here?hello?"

"Good evening,"a voice called out sounding a lot like Dracula.

"huh?whos that?"Vanessa asked the voice with no body.

"Turn around."called the voice

so she did,and turned to a white man with very pale skin,and red lip stick

"come,sit."said the white man,pointing to his chair.

"Hello,i am Dr.Vamp.Who do we have here?"

"My name is Vanessa Colorado,and ive been experiencing strange behavior."

"mhm,like what?"

"well,at school today,i bit someones arm"

"Did blood come out"

"a little"

"were there marks?"

" yes,tiny ones,though."...

1

A really bad 日

posted by boomerlover

A Really Bad Day

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps 次 to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy あなた another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This 日 is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police 発言しました that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in ベッド with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, あなた表示する up and drink my poison."

1

101 ways to annot people pt.2 - last 51

posted by boomerlover

Here's the rest of em'

51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

53. only type in lowercase.

54. dont use any punctuation either

55. Buy a large quantity of オレンジ traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

56. Pay for your ディナー with pennies.

57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in ランダム spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

60. Inform everyone あなた meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.

61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do...

105

A 一覧 of Sites あなた Probably Should Avoid!

posted by want2watcheroes

I do think that あなた probably should avoid the following sites I am going to list. I will add もっと見る to the 一覧 when I find もっと見る sites I think あなた should probably avoid. So if anyone sends あなたリンク to the following sites, あなた have been warned that they could be tricking you. Some of these are obviously bad によって the name of the URL but some of them are very sneaky to trick you.

UNLESS あなた ARE A SICKO I ADVISE あなた NOT TO GO TO THE FOLLOWING SITES

meatspin.com
fingerslam.com
infoslash.com
wowomg.com
2girls1cup.com
2girls1finger.com
lemonparty.org
goatse.cz
cleangirls.org
salsasnack.com
goatsemarathon.com
biblecamp.info...

252

100 Reasons why あなた愛 her

posted by milorox18

1. I 愛 the way we finish each other’s sentences.

2. I 愛 the way I know you’ll never give up on me.

3. I 愛 the fact that I wouldn’t ever give up on you.

4. I 愛 the way あなた look at me.

5. I 愛 how beautiful your eyes are.

6. I 愛 the way I can’t imagine a 日 without あなた in my life.

7. I 愛 the way if we were ever separated I wouldn’t know how to go on.

8. I 愛 the way we cuddle and watch sunsets together.

9. I 愛 the way we sometimes stay up all night and just talk, then watch the sunrise together.

10. I 愛 how I know you’ll always be there when I need あなた to be.

11....

40

20 ways to know if a guy loves あなた ( for girls )

posted by aya3

1- eye contact , if あなた notice him staring a lot at あなた ..like もっと見る than 5 times in the same 日 .(unless あなた got a stain on your shirt)
2- if あなた and him were in the same area , he would be with あなた in every where あなた walk to ( like a party または a コンサート ..etc)
3- he would sit 次 to あなた in your class ( unless hes too shy )
4- he would scream または laugh out loud to get your attention .
5- he would kill to be your lab partner at school .
6 - if he says to あなた hi and hes all too sweaty , make sure hes nervous and that means he likes you.
7-if あなた drop something , he would be the first to get it for...

364

101 Ways to Annoy your Teacher

posted by simpleplan

1. When the teacher says to “take a seat”, あなた answer “take it where”.
2. When the teacher calls your name at roll call, あなた answer “Absent”.
3. When she calls roll, あなた answer “yo mama”.
4. When the teacher says something, あなた say “is that so?”
5. If あなた so happened to not turn in your homework say, your class pet ate it.
6. Tell your teacher you’ll turn in your homework, as soon as your parents finish doing it.
7. Tell your teacher あなた did not turn in your homework because あなた were watching TV.
8. Fold your homework into a cootie-catcher.
9. Fold your homework into a paper...

20

-39 Pranks on Teachers!-

posted by smileypop9

1.When あなた walk into the room, run up to the teacher and stare her in the eyes. nothing more. just keep a straight face and stare. they get quite scared.

2.Before your science class starts, put a クーラー that has "Human Head" written on top, on the front table. On the board write: "Class, we will be disecting a human head tommorrow, the sign up 一覧 is on my 机, デスク for the part あなた would like to dissect" Actually put a sign up 一覧 on her desk.

3.bring a cactus to school. Raise your hand. When called upon say the cactus has a question. look at the cactus and wait for it to say something. when it...

73

comebacks after someone says you're gay.

posted by Tamar20

1)"Why, do あなた find me irresistible?"

2)"No, I just dress better than you"

3)"You're a double gay. No returnsies!"

4)"I 愛 the 秒 grade insults, *insert name here*. Honestly, isn't it strange how "gay" has come to replace "stupid"? And so what if I was gay? Insulting my sexual orientation is pointless.

NOW...if a girl says you're gay, and あなた actually are, I find the best burn is: "At least I can get a boyfriend."

5)Look them in the face with a deadpan expression. Simply say, "Yes. I'm gay," and walk away. Take their thunder away. It's such a juvenile thing to say in the first place.
Or...

68

The 56 Worst Analogies from High School Papers

posted by moodystuff449

1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

2. He was as tall as a 6′3″ tree.

3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a サークル, 円 that had its two sides gently compressed によって a Thigh Master.

4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

7. The ballerina...

161

50 Things Guys Wish Girls Knew: (Guys perspective)

posted by CullenProperty

1. We aren’t mind readers!
2. We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
3. When あなた sleep over never boss me around in ベッド unless it is during sex.
4. Smoking is the biggest turn off.
5. It never hurts to work out.
6. If あなた don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
7. “Fine” または “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
8. If あなた want sex, just ask. (In case あなた didn’t already know.)
9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those...

149

61 Things Girls dont know about Guys- this is in a Guys Point of View

posted by milorox18

1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them! (oh yeah..you're not "popular" if you've slept with もっと見る than 5 guys..you're a HOE)

2. "Hey, are あなた busy?" または "Are あなた doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3... Guys may be flirting around all 日 but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's...

9

ユーザー名 Ideas (The majority are either dark または emo)

posted by RaininStarburst

I got bored, so here あなた go.

1. BlueEyedDemon

2. SuicidalSlut

3. MaliciousIntent

4. GloomyTears

5. Blacklight

6. DarkSunshine

7. FallenIsolation

8. DrowningInTears

9. DismalAngel

10. FallenSolitude

11. HopingInSolitude

12. SilentCall

13. CountingOnRain

14. CalledForMishap

15. RuefulDestiny

16. FallenAngel

17. KilledByAnAngel (I know for a fact it's taken on here によって my twin sis but I made it up)

18. FlamingCore

19. Darkenin(g)InRegret (The G could be taken off if there is a 15 character like on Fanpop)

20.Itrieditathome

21. RunWithScissors

22. PlaydateWithFire (Over 15 characters but... I like it)

23. RejectedStar...

90

67 cute and funny things... (GIRLS ONLY!!)

posted by Dreamer4eva

1.In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes. I'll have twenty.
2.Sometimes あなた make me so mad i wanna throw あなた in the middle of on-going traffic; but then i realize i would probably kill myself trying to save you.
3.im the type of girl who would burst out laughing in the middle of silence because of something that happened... yesterday.
4.so ill walk the plank & jump with a smile if im going down ill do it in style あなた wont hear me surrender.
5.the truth hurts so we lie
6.silence is golden, duct tape is silver
7.i know your probably thinking oh no she didnt but i just so totally...

132

FUNNY INSULTS..must read

posted by iluvsmj

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you?

Right now I'm sitting here looking at あなた trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

A pretty girl can キッス a guy* a bird can キッス a butterfly* the rising sun can キッス the grass* but あなた my friend!! yes you!! あなた CAN キッス MY ASS*******

If あなた didn't have feet あなた wouldn't wear shoes.....then why do あなた wear a bra??!

mirrors don't talk but lucky for あなた %n they don't laugh

Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I...

428

44 Ways to Make a Girl Happy- Guys point of View

posted by milorox18

44 Ways to Make a Girl Happy

Ladies, this will make あなた tear up :)
 Fellas, read all of it:)

1-Touch her waist. 
2-Talk to her. 
3-Share secrets. 
4-Give her your jacket.
 5-Kiss her slowly.

Are あなた remembering this?

6-Hug her. 
7-Hold her. 
8-Laugh with her. 
9-Invite her somewhere. 
10-Let her be with あなた when you're with your friends.

Keep reading...

11-Smile with her. 
12-Take pics with her. 
13-Pull her onto your lap. 
14-When she says she loves あなた more, deny it. fight back. 
15-When her フレンズ say i 愛 her もっと見る than you, deny it; fight back and hug her tight so she can't get...

347

41 ways to annoy your parents

posted by chowjoyi

41 ways to annoy your parents

1. Follow them everywhere.

2. When they say your name, moo loudly like a cow.

3. If あなた have a dog, follow the dog around on all-fours and say "Bark." over and over again really loudly.

4. Talk to a pen constantly.

5. When your フレンズ come over, pretend to be talking in code and have your friend say 'Your-a pa smells-a like a woman-a." If they crack the code, play stupid.

6. Have a dozen of imaginary フレンズ that あなた ask their opinion of everything.

7. After あなた have your bath, ラップ a bath towel around あなた and then walk outside of the bathroom. When your parents ask...

52

42 Things that will make your parents go crazy

posted by ilovepenguins

42 Things That Will Make Your Parents Go Crazy.

1. Follow them around the house everywhere...

2. Moo when they say your name...

3. Run into walls...

4. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion...

5. Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine...

6. Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA"...

7. Wear a sticker that says, "I'm a retard"...

8. Have 20 imaginary フレンズ that あなた talk to all the time...

9. In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!"...

10. Do what they actually tell you...

11. Jump off the roof, trying...

9

My Suicide Note.

posted by CoaxochYJ

My suicide note that I threw away cuz of my awesome フレンズ and life I wanted to keep.

To the friends, I call my family,

By the time あなた read this letter, I will be only a faded memory.

A corpse on the cold bathroom floor.

It is too late for me now, and I know it.

Even as I write this letter I can feel the life draining out of me.

But I feel it, so that's something, right?

I have been dead for a while now, though あなた may not have noticed.

I died the night I couldn't 愛 you, my love.

I loved あなた with everything.

My heart, my body and soul.

I am sorry I wasn't good enough for you.

At least you're happy....

6

25 Fun things to do in public

posted by Bubblekat

1. Go around stores, pick up items and yell out really loudly "Who buys this CRAP anyway?!"

2. Get a cart, get on the bar below the bar あなた grip, and push it down the isle, extra points for running into something または someone

3. Go up to a ランダム person and say "you have pretty eyes, may I have your eyes?!" and hear to see what they say

4. Laugh randomly

5. If someones talking on a cellphone Go closer to them and start maki ランダム noises to disturb them, extra points if they hang up

6. If your near a 噴水 run to it and start splashing in it

7. If your mom starts nagging to あなた in public about the...