:d

There used to be a 通り, ストリート named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives

Every time Chuck Norris looks into a mirror it breaks. Even glass is not stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can strangle あなた with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

Brett Farve can throw a football 50 yds. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Farve even farther.

Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris...

A single drop of sweat from Chuck Norris was found to quench the thirst of an entire african village for 23 straight days. Subsequently, an olympic athlete from that village was disqualified from his event for testing positive for performance enhancing drugs.

Chuck Norris can read lady Gaga's poker face.

Chuck Norris says the alphabet faster backwards then あなた can say it fowards.

When Chuck Norris goes to sleep, he doesn't dream he lives it.

In an alternate universe, Chuck Norris is just a myth. However, he pwns people there anyways.

When Chuck Norris drinks beer, the ビール gets drunk.

Ninjas want...

I found this on the internet.

1.    Smile
2.    Laugh
3.    Run your fingers through your hair
4.    Touch them gently on the arm/shoulder
5.    Give them a hug
6.    Tease them
7.    Complement their clothes
8.    Say, "It seems like forever since I last saw you"
9.    Whisper
10.    Offer them a blanket または コート if it's cold
11.    Offer to buy them a drink
12.    Lean...

In a pub クイズ the other 日 I ロスト によって one point. The 質問 was, "where do women mostly have curly hair?" Apparently, it's Africa.


One of the other 質問 was to name two things commonly found in cells.
It appears that Nigerians and Jamaicans is not the correct answer.


I've heard that 林檎, アップル has scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod, after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.


There's a new Muslim clothing ショップ that opened in Toronto but I've been banned from it, after asking to look at some 爆撃機 jackets.


You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles,...

Ghetto Names

Mostly 人気 with the poorer sections of the communities in the United States, ghetto names are becoming もっと見る common.
These are some ghetto names sent to us によって our readers:

Aalissah , Aarionda , AbbyYoYo , Abcd , Abrianna , Adaizala , Aereana , Ajavalon , Akeebu , Akwante , Alamarion , Alashawndre , Alashema , Alezeisha , Aliciandra , Alveonta , Amabufu , Amanisha , Ambrisha , Amereazanisha , Amiracle , Amonteosha , Ananchalant , Anfernee , Angenique , Annestonisha , Antonyishia , Antwanae , Antwanique , Antwonisha , Anukware , Aquamaquisha , Aquanasia , Aquanetta , Aquaniqua ,...

Found this on Google. Hope it makes ya laugh.

1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off in 10-minute intervals

2. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, “Code 3 in housewares,…”and see what happens.

3. Go to the Service 机, デスク and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay away.

4. Find one of the workers who is making a pyramid または a display of something and as soon as they are finished with it, ask for the thing that’s on the bottom and have a panic attack until they give it to you.

5. Get on the loud speaker and declare a “Going Out of Business Sale, All Items 99% Off”

6....

Think
1.    1
Realization. Even though it may seem impossible, the truth is, nothing is impossible. If あなた keep thinking it's impossible, then it will be. Have faith
2
Analyze the situation. Create a 一覧 of "pros" and "cons" to help あなた better understand why you're seeking 愛 または acceptance from this person.
2.    3
Don't worry about things あなた can't help. Acknowledge the impossibility as something that is totally out of your hands (ex: marriage, age, sexuality, hang-ups) and know that if something is meant to be, it will be.
3.    4
Don't...

[Family Guy] S01E05 - A Hero Sits 次 Door #178
Lois: Meg, you're a sweet, beautiful girl, he'll come around.
Meg: That's such a mom answer.
Lois: Well, have あなた tried 表示中 him the goods? How's that for a mom answer?
Meg: Creepy.
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E07 - Lethal Weapons #183
Peter: Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like あなた - very homosexually.
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E10 - 魚 Out Of Water #181
Auctioner: We'll open this auction with this pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagemire: Fifty...

Hi my name is Amanda and this is how to service 7th grade. On the first 日 of 7th grade I was so excited to see my フレンズ after summer yay. Well the first 日 of 7th grade really sucked but at least I got to see my friends. Yes it’s time to leave school. But I did not see one of my フレンズ Hannah that sucks because she went to Luray middle. Well I’m ホーム and I just talked to Hannah on the phone. She 発言しました “I might come back to page 次 semester”. “Sweet school is so different without one of my best friends” I said. “If I don’t come back don’t be mad at me”. “I won’t...

EMOTICONS Happy‏
^o^ ☺ ☻ ت ヅ ^.^ ツ ッ シ Ü ≧◡≦ ᵔᴥᵔ ^^ (°⌣°)
٩(^‿^)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃•̃) ◕‿◕ ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶ ٩(͡๏̮͡๏)۶ =^.^=
(•‿•) ó‿ó ¢‿¢ ٩◔‿◔۶ ಠ◡ಠ ༺‿༻ (^L^)
♥‿♥ ◙‿◙ ●‿● ^( '‿' )^ ^‿^ ❀‿❀ 乂◜◬◝乂
{◕ ◡ ◕} (｡◕‿◕｡) ┌( ಠ‿ಠ)┘ ◃┆◉◡◉┆▷ (▰˘◡˘▰)
< (^^,) > q(❂‿❂)p <【☯】‿【☯】> |◔◡◉| ⊂◉‿◉つ
✌.ʕʘ‿ʘʔ.✌ ۹⌤_⌤۹ ⎝⎲⏝⏝⎲⎠ ⎝⓿⏝⓿⎠ ⎝⏠⏝⏠⎠
⎝ᄽ⏝⏠⎠...

France
Honhonhon! Bonjour English man! Grow a real dick and don't fuck with Peter Pan! I'm Francis Bonnefoy and everyone loves me! あなた call me a wanker, cause mine is the biggest! Fuck off with your kid brother, cause USUK surely hits it!

Britain
SHUT UP! あなた DAMN FROG FACE! The fact that your on the same continent is a disgrace! All あなた are is a bloody wanker, my rhymes hit hard, like Captain Hook's anchor! Your just a bloody whore, I can't stand your face no more, your such a prick! Even Sealand has もっと見る dick! I have an army of Red Coats! あなた have shitty little boats! Waiting till the last minute?...

Mom:Okay kids!(4 kids)get in here!I got news!
Kennedy:What is it?
Mom:Me and your dad are going on a date
*grasshopper sound*
Mom:so あなた guy will need a babysitter!


*10 分 later the baby sitter came*
Mom:Hello!I'm Amy!
Babysitter:I'm Ashley!
Mom:DARELL!Get your butt in here!
*Mom and Dad leave*
Ashley:Hi kids!I'm your babysitter Ashley!
kids:HI!
Kid:I'm Amber!I'm four!
Ashley:Hi Amber!*ruffles hair*cute!
Amber:Never...touch...ME!!!
Ashley:OH kay!
Kid:I'm Zack!I'm 9
Ashley:Hello!


*59 分 later*
Amber:I wuv お茶, 紅茶 parties!!
Ashley*Walks in*Hey Amber what are あなた doing?
Amber:Having a お茶, 紅茶 party!
Ashley:Can I...