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posted by MadMeggi
1. Walk up to an old person and scream "Grandma/Grandpa your alive!

2. Hide in a closet at Ikea and pop out at people saying "I'm back from Narnia!"

3. Throw water balloons at passing cars.

4. Go door to door asking people for ice cubes. Take them home, melt them, and then take them back saying "I don't want them anymore.

5. Give a ランダム stranger a Wet Willy.

6. Get caught masturbating and watching porn.

7. Call Walmart and ask if they sell they're employees.

8. Slap a waitress.

9. When a waiter asks あなた want あなた want to drink, tell them "Wouldn't あなた like to know???!!!???"

10. When あなた hear someone say something depressing, scream out Let's have a party!
posted by GreenerPastures
These are some reasons why I abso-flipping-lutely 愛 my smashing country Kenya:
1-Its where the President of the sovereign United States of America traces his roots,albeit a little too far off.
2- Its the only place あなた can hear phrases like:"Omera,yawa, who do あなた think あなた are messing with? Don't あなた know that my brother has a friend who wipes the office of a man who makes long-distance calls to the friend of a man who works with the president of the FBI who talks face-to-face with Obama, therefore I have American blood flowing in my veins?" Yet the poor guy is as black as coal.
3-The glam...
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posted by Tamar20
Enemies and haters can be annoying and their コメント and insults can upset you. Learn how to deal with it...

1)If あなた don’t know why they hate you, ask them calmly and nicely. If they are nasty to あなた または start swearing または being violent, walk away and don’t bother trying to talk to them again until they have calmed down または until they talk to あなた nicely. Some people can be 与えられた 秒 chances to realize that あなた aren’t really a bad person and they have nothing to hate あなた for. But some people just won’t like あなた in life, so don’t waste your time fretting about why they don’t like...
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Some people may ask, "Why Invader Zim first?" I say SCREW IT, ILL DO WHAT I WANT! In any case, the 表示する is one of my favorites. It represents a better time for Nick. Better shows, better actors, better Nick. Altough this is a time since past, Nicktoons has made the GENIUS(sp?) decision to bring it back.
If あなた look at the definition of Invader Zim on Wikipedia(again, sp?), it says that IZ employs a comedy style called "black comedy". Basically, this means that IZ uses dark methods of humor, such as the gluttonus "Bloaty the ピザ Hog", または perhaps just the dark scenery in IZ (it gives a very...
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if someone is annoying you, just say "they're not even worth my time."


if someone is making あなた upset, just say "look how carless and mean he/she/they are/is."


if someone doesn't believe you, just say "i can't do anything to change your mind."


if someone doesn't like the way あなた are, または they want to change something about you, say "i didn't make myself like this. this is how i was born. take me as i am, または don't accept me at all."


if someone is bullying あなた for "no reason", it's because they like you, または is jealous of you, または it's the spirits clashing.
posted by Icepaw_Kenobi
Found this online...
1. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
2. Push the buttons and pretend they give あなた a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
3. Ask if あなた can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
4. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
5. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After awhile, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your 日 been?"
6. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream,...
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31 Things Guys Should Know About Girls

Written によって a guy. After years of experience.

1. Whatever あなた do, don't just 表示する up at their house...they run around in their underwear just like we do.

2. Don't cheat on them. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out and あなた will be mud.

3. Beware of every single male relatives and all guy friends. Any of them would kick your butt at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn't even wait for the damn hat.

4. Never miss an opportunity to tell them they're beautiful.

5. Don't refuse to キッス in...
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posted by invadercalliope
I hope あなた enjoy!
:D
20 Funny Quotes
1:You tries your best and あなた failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'
2:I didn't lose my mind, I just sold it on eBay
3:A good friend will bail あなた out of jail, a best friend will be sitting 次 to あなた saying "Dude that was freakin awesome!"
4:Accept that some days you're the pigeon. and some days you're the statue
5:There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the 海岸, ショア like an idiot.
6:Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted
7:Never give up things that once made あなた smile
8:Clear as a ベル my nody 発言しました "Listen fatty...do it and die
9:Caution water on...
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posted by karpach_14
Advantages Of Being A Woman
Why it's better to be a Woman!

1. We got off the タイタニック first.

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character または the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't...
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FRIENDS: Lend あなた their umbrella
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN DUDE! RUN!'

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat または drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why あなた have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents によって Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, によって Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS:Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail あなた out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS:Would be sitting 次 to あなた sayin "THAT WAS FREAKIN' AWESOME!!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen あなた cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else あなた cried...just laugh about it with あなた in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS:...
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posted by KitkatKaysa
Pisces.
Your element: Water
Your ruling planets: Neptune
Symbol: The Fish
Your stone: Bloodstone
Life Pursuit: To avoid feeling alone and instead feel connected to others and the world at large
Vibration: Erratic Energy levels
Pisces Secret Desire: To live their dreams and turn fantasies into realities

Description:
Mysterious and alluring individuals, most Pisces are extremely talented, but even though they are gifted in many ways, they still manage to spend most of their lives battling "confusing" conditions. Pisces is the sign symbolised によって the image of two fish. Their symbol depicts one 魚 heading...
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1-play baseball with one cucumber

2-use a cucumber to sing along with your フレンズ

3-put eyes and a nose to it and pretend it is your best friend

4-open a cumcumber store in front of your house and tell them あなた are raising money to buy 食 for homeless dogs

5-go to a spa and take your own cucumber and complain that あなた want them to use that cucumber cause it means alot for you

6-in valentines 日 gift your フレンズ a cucumber and tell them あなた grew them with love

7-go to a grocery store and grab a cucumber then put it 次 to your ear and say that he talks to あなた and says he need a new ホーム and thats why あなた buy it

8-use the mr.potato pieces to create your own mr.cucumber
ill give u some tips.......:
1- if u r bored in fanpop,and there is no frnd online: go to anyclub u like または 愛 and start adding some Qs and picks,and then comeback and see ppl that answerd it....it is really fun.
2- if u want to earn もっと見る fans......add ランダム ppl.to ur fanlist then they will add u back the u will earn もっと見る fans.in no time.
3- if u wanna earn メダル ...u have to add もっと見る pixxx in ur fav clubs....u can add articals too,and pix ppl will rate then u have もっと見る メダル .
4- another way to earn fans....go to the chat room and then meet new ppl know them u will get もっと見る fans.....and frnds too.

when i have もっと見る ideas ill give it......now i dont i hope this 記事 will be useful have a gr8 日 everybody and type ur コメント plz....thanks alot for listening...^_^ have a gr8 day.
1.imitate sirius black,order a ピザ and say: i spent 12 years in azkaban then died 2 years later so this better be the best ピザ ever.
2.when angered pick up a pencil and yell "stupefy!" when doesnt work demand to know where your wand is.
3.walk into your classroom, look around say "this isnt hogwarts." yell "so long muggles!" march out and see who follows.
4.at ランダム times yell "i killed sirius black!" reapeatidly.
5. at a bathroom hiss at the sink and say that あなた are trying to get into the chamber of secrets.
6.name anyone at all after harry potter poeple.
7.post this 一覧 ev.er.y. where. [but give me credit]
8. replace the lyrics of all the songs あなた know with harry potter lyrics.
9.do not give up the thought that あなた are a muggle born even if あなた did not get a letter.
10. make everthing harry potter themed

thats it! i hope あなた liked it!
posted by Cantwait4book5
I am not obsessed with Justin Bieber nor do I hate him. In just neutral about him. But I am soooooooo fed up with all these people bagging him out!

I just read a 質問 on this spot that asked "If あなた saw Justin Bieber standing on the 上, ページのトップへ of a building getting ready to jump, would あなた cry または scream JUMP FAG JUMP!". I'm sorry but if I saw someone (regardless of who they are) on 上, ページのトップへ of a building getting ready to jump off, I would do anything to make them stop.

Why do あなた people have grudges against someone who hasn't ever done something bad to anyone あなた know または care about. And people say that he sounds like a chick and that he is a fag but honestly, he doesnt. His voice may be higher than other guys but that doesnt make him a fag.

And anyway, whats wrong with it if he is gay? Adam Lambert is gay and he has millions of fans.

I dont like Justin Bieber but I am fed up of people posting s**t about him!!!!!

Anyone agree???
posted by juviechick1339
why boys go out with girls... so true
Created によって augustemily1997

Created によって augustemily1997 on Tuesday, September 01, 2009
Tagged: yay
REPOST THiS titled "wHy bOyS Go oUt wIt gIrLs...So tRuE
did あなた know that every night before あなた go to sleep there is one person of the opposite sex thinking of you. They want to キッス you, they want to be with you, they are always thinking about you, this is all true and not fake. If あなた repost this in 5 min the person that is longing to be with あなた will approach あなた within one 月 and ask あなた out または grab あなた and キッス you. but if あなた break this chain no one will...
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posted by blaise_jez
Q .. Did あなた here about the blonde who shot an ARROW/アロー into the air?
A .. She missed.

Q .. What do あなた do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
A .. Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q .. Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A .. From crawling across the 通り, ストリート when the sign 発言しました "don't walk".

Q .. Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A .. So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Q .. Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A .. She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Q .. How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A .. The cow fell on her.




Q .. What does a blonde say when あなた ask her if her blinker is on?
A .. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.
User: I didn't know あなた could play Twister all によって yourself.


Cleverbot: I didn't know あなた could play the cello online either.


User: Cat got your tongue, because there's an extra one here.


Cleverbot: No the dog actually. But close.


User: I for one feel bad for the chicken.


Cleverbot: あなた spelled fear wrong...

User: Would a redhead wear a red blouse? That's a rhetorical question.

Cleverbot: Probably, but he または she wouldn't want to admit it.

User: I don't know, I didn't write it down.

Cleverbot: I'm going to copy and paste it so that あなた can see that あなた di.

User: Too bad it wasn't a learn how to swim patch....
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posted by ilovepenguins
Things to do in a Public Restroom

1.Comment "Pooh, who did that?"
2.Complement people on their shoes.
3.Introduce yourself to the person in the 次 stall. Strike up a conversation.
4.Provide 'strenuous' sound-effects.
5.Ask the person in the 次 stall if there's anything swimming in their bowl.....
6.Discuss the pros and cons of laxatives.
7.Scream " Oh my GOD! What the hell is THAT?"
8.Simulate a drug deal.
9.Pretend to fall in (with appropriate sound effects).
10.Roll Easter Eggs under the doors.
11.Start a sing-a-long.
12.Act schizophrenically.
13.Knock on the doors of occupied stalls and ask if there...
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This is によって far the weirdest lists I have ever seen, but funny nonetheless...

QUESTIONS ASKED OF THE SYDNEY OLYMPIC COMMITTEE

Here are some of the classic 質問 being asked of the Sydney Olympic
Committee via their Web site, and some 回答 that may be appropriate:

Q: I hear that all Australian women are beautiful. Is that true an if so,
can あなた send me pictures of the available ones? (Italy)
A: (Sure, there's only 8 million of them)

Q: I want to go swimming at Bondi ビーチ on October 20th. Will I turn blue?
(Germany)
A: (More likely brown, considering the effluent...)

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos...
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posted by musicfanaticXD
I was 読書 the Wal-Mart 記事 and I was reminded of this eamil I got. Post your faves in the コメント section!

THINGS 2 DO DURING AN EXAM XDDD

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read 質問 aloud, ディベート your 回答 with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that あなた can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to...
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