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What women should tell men...but don't

1. The reason why our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear.

2. The 次 time あなた and your buddies make jokes about armed women in combat, take a アンケート to see which of あなた successfully aim at the toilet rim.

3. If we're watching football with あなた - it's not bonding - it's their butts.

4. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever あなた have to say after the movie.

5. Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.

6. Please don't drive when you're not driving.

7. If あなた were really looking for an honest answer, あなた wouldn't ask in bed.

8. The 次 time あなた make jokes about female drivers, research the number of accidents caused によって rubber-necking mini-skirts.

9. If only women gossip, how do あなた and your フレンズ keep track of 'who's easy'?

10. Stop telling us most male strippers are gay: we don't care.

11. When you're not around, I belch loudly, too.

12. We don't mind if あなた look in the mirror to check your appearance - in fact, please do!

13. When you're out with us, please wear 'our' お気に入り outfit rather than 'yours' - the torn jeans and dirty T-Shirt will last longer that way.

14. If あなた must grunt in reply, please develop a system to indicate a positive vs. A negative grunt.

15. Don't insist that we 'get off the stupid phone' and then not talk to us.

16. Eye contact is best established above our shoulder-level.

17. Cleaning the house is not necessarily 'women's work'; besides, most of the 'dirt' and clutter is yours anyway.

18. Yes, we know most of the great chefs are men, why is it then あなた never want to cook?

19. We go to the Ladies Room in groups to talk about you.

20. Yes, we know あなた can probably beat us arm wrestling' however, very few raises または promotions were gained によって arm wrestling the boss.
If あなた don't read this, someone else wil
posted by lilred96
Mysterious love

-chapter five-

As we were walking down the stairs too the lunch room he said"So how was 読書 and math?"
"Boring"I 発言しました he kinda smiled and 発言しました "Well..." but trailed off
I was going too ask why when rebecca came up and looked at us she sort of examined us ,I guess is a better word.She said"June do あなた no if the librarian has a nother copy of that geometertry book I need it for something?"I just 発言しました "Umm I dont think she has one" When mathew 発言しました "I bet i have a copy at home,you can borrow"
I looked at him wondering why he was 読書 it in the としょうかん, ライブラリ when i came in too look...
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Just decided to write something random! My first 記事 so コメント if あなた want!!! または not!


Why am I 書く this?
Why is it hot または cold?
Why is the sky blue?
Why, I don't know!
Why does sound so corny?
Why is your name your name?
Why are goldfish orange?
Why is ファンポップ fanpop?
Why is this random?
Why are your panrents your panrents?
Why do we like pie/cake?
Why don't we like pie/cake?
Why are there glasses?
Why do we have 10 toes/fingers?
Why do we eat?
Why do we have clothes?
why why why plz tell me why.
I laughed so hard when I read this and I just had to share it

1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them!

2. "Hey, are あなた busy?" または "Are あなた doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3. Guys may be flirting around all 日 but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're going to say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile when they’re...
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1. I 愛 the way we finish each other’s sentences.

2. I 愛 the way I know you’ll never give up on me.

3. I 愛 the fact that I wouldn’t ever give up on you.

4. I 愛 the way あなた look at me.

5. I 愛 how beautiful your eyes are.

6. I 愛 the way I can’t imagine a 日 without あなた in my life.

7. I 愛 the way if we were ever separated I wouldn’t know how to go on.

8. I 愛 the way we cuddle and watch sunsets together.

9. I 愛 the way we sometimes stay up all night and just talk, then watch the sunrise together.

10. I 愛 how I know you’ll always be there when I need あなた to be.

11....
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added by Rodz
Source: desktopnexus
-Im sorry did my back hurt you're knife?

-Never turn you're back on a friend, thats the best target.

-While you're stabbing my back, あなた can キッス my 尻, お尻 too.

-All the mistakes in the world couldnt measure up to the 日 i thought i could trust you.

-Yeah, being apathetic is a pathetic way to be...
but I don't care, what matters to あなた does not matter to me

-When your up, your フレンズ know who あなた are.
When you're down, あなた know who your フレンズ are.

-You can't laugh last If I stab あなた in the throat with...the ナイフ あなた left in my back.

-I was the one who 発言しました things changed;
you were the one who proved...
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1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

2. He was as tall as a 6′3″ tree.

3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a サークル, 円 that had its two sides gently compressed によって a Thigh Master.

4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

7. The ballerina...
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link

Æ æ ❖ ℘ℑℜℵ♏η αβεℓℓα· ¨…¦┅┆┈
┊╱╲╳¯– —≡჻░▒▓ ▤▥▦▧▨▩█ ▌▐▀▄ ◠◡╭╮╯╰ │┤╡╢╖╕╣ ║╝╜╛ ┐ └┴┬├─┼
╞╟╚╔╩╦ ╠═ ╬╧╨╤ ╥╙╘╒╓ ╫╪┘┌
{。^◕‿◕^。} (◕^^◕) ✖✗✘♒♬✄ ✂✆✉✦✧♱ ♰♂♀☿❤❥ ❦❧ ™®©♡♦ ♢♔♕♚♛★ ☆✮ ✯☄☾☽ ☼☀☁☂☃☻ ☺☹ ☮۞۩ εїз☎☏¢ ☚☛☜☝☞☟✍
✌☢☣☠☮☯ ♠♤♣♧♥ ♨๑❀✿ ψ☪☭♪ ♩♫℘ℑ ℜℵ♏ηα ʊϟღツ回...
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I got bored, so here あなた go.


1. BlueEyedDemon

2. SuicidalSlut

3. MaliciousIntent

4. GloomyTears

5. Blacklight

6. DarkSunshine

7. FallenIsolation

8. DrowningInTears

9. DismalAngel

10. FallenSolitude

11. HopingInSolitude

12. SilentCall

13. CountingOnRain

14. CalledForMishap

15. RuefulDestiny

16. FallenAngel

17. KilledByAnAngel (I know for a fact it's taken on here によって my twin sis but I made it up)

18. FlamingCore

19. Darkenin(g)InRegret (The G could be taken off if there is a 15 character like on Fanpop)

20.Itrieditathome

21. RunWithScissors

22. PlaydateWithFire (Over 15 characters but... I like it)

23. RejectedStar...
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posted by Sandfire_Paiger
1. ಥ_ಥ

2. ಠ_ಠ

3. Q(^.^Q) (Winner)

4. ~<>" (Mouse)

5. [¬º-°]¬ (Zombie attack)

6. (ô ô) (Surprise)

7. fO_o (Scratching head)

8. c):{) (Smiling Cowboy)

9. (9ò_ó)=@ (Throwing a punch)

10. b(~_^)d, d-(^_^)-b, (b^_^)b (Thumbs up)

11. q(-_-)p (Thumbs down)

12. (ρ_-)o (Tired/Rubbing eyes)

13. ø(._.<) (Writing)

15. -_-*,,|, (*sigh* Middle finger)

16. m/ |>_<| m/ (ROCK ON!!)

17. ~(O_O)~ または ~(O_o)~ (Flying スパゲッティ Monster)

18. ಠ_ಠ ಥ_ಥ (Staring eyes/Crying eyes)

19. (O.0)/ (I don't know!)

20. ()xxxx{======> Sword

21. ¯(º o)/¯ (Shrug)

22. @_'-' (Snail)

23. <=O=(^^^)=O=>...
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posted by IsabellaMCullen
I didn't make this, I just found it...


1.Stick your open palm under the stall ウォール and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2.Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."

3.Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4.Say, "Damn, this water's cold."

5.Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"

6.Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

7.Grunt and strain real loud for 30 秒 and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.

8.Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9.Say, "Humus....
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just being random!
video
added by cici1264
Source: The rock dressed as miley cyrus
posted by invadercalliope

Just killing time until the world ends.
Rika Furude (Higurashi no Naku Koro ni)

◦Friends are nothing もっと見る than the the people who あなた spend the fun yet meaningless times with. When those times get rough, they aren't there to support you.
Ryuuguu Rena (Higurashi no Naku Koro ni)
"I will live past June 1983, and then I am going to grow much taller, my breasts are going to get bigger. I'm not going to stay in a child's body for the rest of my life!"
"It's so cute, I want to take it home!"

"Omochiikaeri~!"

"Friends. Those companions あなた speak of are only フレンズ during those fun, yet unimportant...
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posted by vlad_todd_fan
This is A TRUE STORY AND IF あなた DON'T PASS THIS ON あなた DON'T HAVE A SOUL!!!

My name is Chris,
I am three,
My eyes are swollen..
I cannot see.

I must be stupid,
I must be bad,
What else could have made,
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better,
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy,
Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong,
I can't speak at all,
Or else I'm locked up,
All 日 long.

When I'm awake,
I'm all alone,
The house is dark,
My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come home,
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll just get,
One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car,
My daddy is back,
From Charlie's bar

I hear...
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posted by Mallory101
Just some of my favorite quotes.
------------------------------------------------


•Dance like your vagina's on fire.

•Don't be a dick just grow one.

•He haunts me like a nightmare, his image is everywhere, he doesn't leave me alone, i can't escape him または erase him, when i know he's not coming
home.

•If あなた want something you've never had, then you've got to do something you've done.

•How can I go フォワード, 前進, 楽しみにして when I don't know which way I'm facing.

•No one is free, Even the birds are chained to the sky.

•And the feeling when I'm with you,right there, is the exact reason why I never gave up...
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Jetzt geht's los Freunde
Hier ist Markus Becker und die Mallorca Cowboys und das rote Pferd

Wir singen zusammen
Da hat das rote Pferd sich einfach umgekehrt
und hat mit seinem Schwanz die Fliege abgewehrt
Die Fliege war nicht dumm,
sie machte summ,summ,summ
Und flog mit viel Gebrumm
um's rote Pferd herum

lalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalalalalalalalala
lalalalalala lalalalalala lalalalalalalalalalalala

Ok Freunde,
das war nicht schlecht für デン Anfang
Aber da geht noch was
Seit ihr gut drauf? Jaaa
Habt ihr lust zu feiern? Jaaa
Dann macht euch bereit und singt mit uns zusammen


Die Fliege...
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added by RoohWinchester
Source: Google
added by check-it-out13
added by UriahA