Can あなた guys give me a good title?

It was really good! I think the タイトル should be: Hidden Aijou.

Aijou means love/affection in Japanese! :D

Your story was amazing! And very sad!

I think it should be called 'On 上, ページのトップへ of the mountain with you'
または 'Dream Mountain'

Something that has mountain in it because the Mountain seemed to 表示する great importance in your story.

Your story was so good! I think that あなた should try and 公開する it somewhere.
I look フォワード, 前進, 楽しみにして to 読書 somemore of your stories :)