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posted by ilovetech29
1."My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him."
2."Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick, and I had her shot."
3."Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33."
4."Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating."
5."Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a 木, ツリー and misplaced his hip."
6."John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face."
7."Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part."
8."Megan...
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Just 読書 some of the ターミネーター 名言・格言 through again... and actually found a hint on what happened between Arnold and the maid. Enjoy my version!


Maid: Nice night for a walk, eh?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nice night for a walk.
Maid #2: Wash 日 tomorrow? Nothing clean, right?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nothing clean. Right.
Maid: Hey, I think this guy's a couple cans short of a six-pack.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Your clothes... give them to me, now.
Maid: Fuck you, asshole!
Arnold nods.


I know there are a lot of people making fun of Arnold Schwarzenegger since he admitted to his wife that he's not only a cheater but a liar as well. あなた might get annoyed によって it and think "Oh poor Arnie". But honestly? This guy just ASKED for it. It takes a big jerk to have a child with another woman, an even bigger one to keep it a secret for 14 years and the biggest one to only reveal it to his wife after he quit his job so there'd be no damage to his position.
posted by lloonny
1. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
2. Some people wear スーパーマン pajamas. スーパーマン wears Chuck Norris pajamas
3. Chuck Norris will never have a ハート, 心 attack. His ハート, 心 isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
4. If at first あなた don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
5. Chuck Norris can set ants on 火災, 火 with a magnifying glass. At night.
6. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
7. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
8. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
9....
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INT. A SHOPPING MALL WE'VE USED BEFORE - DAY.

The mall. Teenage girls bury their heads in piles of clothes and giggle. A Sale Sign goes up and they scream. Mothers drag kids によって their heels. As the people pass by, they glance uncomfortably at something off-screen then hurry along. The children point, faces uncomprehending.

Pan over to find ZIM and ガー in a dark corner, near a waste receptacle, dressed as clowns. ZIM just stares out evilly at the passing people. ガー simply stares, holding balloons.

ZIM (to GIR)
Look at them, GIR. THEY think we are clowns. But we are not clowns.

GIR gasps in shock....
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posted by KateKicksAss
 This is your new mascot. All hail the bunny!
This is your new mascot. All hail the bunny!
Of course, if あなた are TRULY random, あなた shouldn't even need a guide, O_O

Randomness, randomosity, randomology, whatever あなた may call it, is using improvisation to create original humorous phrases または monologues または pine cones on the spot. 'Randomosity' is fun to express in the presence of フレンズ または logging companies, but can quickly become extremely obnoxious. Have fun with your randomness, don't force it. Remember, if あなた got it, Flaunt it!

Steps

1. Break free of conventional rules. Finishing your sentences is not mandatory, merely optional and あなた can do it on Tuesdays but not on Wednesdays...
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posted by invadercalliope
When あなた turn around, who is that behind you?
Bury your claws in the darkness and shred the night
The raindrops turn to drops of blood and trickle down your cheek
If あなた have no place to return to
Stop on this finger, on this finger of mine
Where the evening cicadas cry in the forbidden forest
あなた cannot turn back anymore

__________________________________________________

furimuita sono ushiro no sorewa dare
kurayami ni tsume wo tatete yoru wo hikisaita
amadare wa chi no shizuku to natte hoho wo tsutaiochiru
mou dekonimo kaeru basho ga nainara
kono yubi tomare watashi no yubi ni
sono yubi goto tsuretetteageru
higurashi ga naku akazu no mori de
atomodori wa mou dekinai
"An old woman haunted me!"

One night my and によって brothers and I were sleeping up stairs while my mom was downstairs reading. I was lying in ベッド and heard this light stomping sound. Then the stomping sound got a little heavier. Soon, it became so loud that my brothers and I all came out of our room because we were scared. My mom had heard it too and she thought it was one of us playing a joke, but it wasn't - we were all in bed! We had no idea what to make of it and were really freaked out. But then, things got creepier....

"We found her stuff in the attic, her name was Tamara!"

I went over to...
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posted by yoshifan1976
Doctor Mario was in his office when suddenly there was an urgent phone call. It was Daisy. "Mario, come quick. Luigi's very sick." "I'll be there right now, Daisy", Mario told her. Nurse 桃, ピーチ was very concerned. "What's wrong, Mario?" "Luigi's sick", he answered with worry. "Go", 桃, ピーチ told him kindly. "I can take care of things here." "Thanks, Peach". He gave her a キッス and then rode over to Luigi and Daisy's house. デイジー hugged Mario and led him upstairs. "Hey little brother", he smiled at Luigi. Luigi smiled back. He loves his big brother Mario. No one understood the brotherly bond between...
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added by loonybug
Source: tumblr
No, I seriously hate it whenever I hear kids talk about ディズニー and celebrities, they say crap like "OMG Justin Bieber is awesome!" "The Jonas Brothers are having a new movie!" "Have あなた watched Shake it up? It's the best thing ディズニー has made!"
It sickens me that parents allow their kids to watch & listen to the mediocre shit ディズニー Channel produces now rather than to have them watch & listen to some REAL ディズニー & music. Even the trash 映画 like Prom, John Carter, Mars Needs Moms, and some of the ディズニー direct-to-video sequels are better than the crap ディズニー Channel has to offer....
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posted by hetalianstella
This is in no particular order.

- I hate how people automatically assume あなた are Chinese just because you're Asian, または automatically assume あなた are Mexican just because あなた are Hispanic.

- How people always say they COULD care less when they COULDN'T care less!

- When people use an elevator.....for one floor!

- Perverts....I mean, I don't hate perverts. Some of my best フレンズ are perverts. But I'm not a pervert, so don't act like a pervert around me. Anywhere else is fine, but please respect my asexuality.

- When people overuse lol.
Especially when there is nothing funny!
Same with OMG. I...
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Why on earth did I stop last time.. Season 3 is friggin awesome.. I clearly wasn't patient enough last time..

PLOT:
Walter wishes to reunite his family, but Skyler is still suspicious of Walter's 秒 life. Walter believes he can mend the tension between them によって confessing to her that he has been producing meth. Skyler is appalled によって the confession and demands a formal divorce. Meanwhile, Gus offers to pay Walter US$3M for three months of his service. He even offers to provide Walter with a state-of-the-art production facility and a brilliant lab assistant, Gale (David Costabile). Jesse is...
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Thanks too AMC, breaking Bad was played all thought christmas.. I PVR'd every every episode, in order.. And I mean EVER episode..

If あなた remember または not, I 発言しました I would possibly do reviews of Breaking Bad.. And turns out, I was right about that, so here I go..

Frankly, compared too MONSTER and BOJACK HORSEMAN (ironically Aaron Paul is the reason I watch BoJack, and because of Breaking Bad).. These reviews will be REAL reviews.. Lengthy, well thoughtout, and very worth reading..

So.. Last time I watched this show, I stopped around the beginning of season 3.. As it got rather boring.. Now.. With...
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added by trisha1
Source: Advertisement
This is an old draft I've had sitting here for about three years. Cleaned it up sorta, but it's still not at par with my current work. I wanted to keep most of the 情報源 material as close to what I wrote three years 前 barring some grammatical/diction fluency errors, mostly for a little look into how much I've changed. I just couldn't くま, クマ letting it sit in here anymore. I'm not super into fanfiction, fanpop, または even K-POP anymore for that matter, but I knew I had to put this out there in some form または fashion. Let me know if あなた want me to write anything chapter, または do something else with...
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#1: TITANIC:
Jon: What sorrow, I feel for these characters.. Red haired lady.. Old ladies.. Currently DROWNING human.. And 101 don-..
One hundred and what!?.. One hundred and what now!?…. (camera zooms in on the dog) BONGO!? IS THAT YOU!?

#2: ARE あなた AFRIED OF THE DARK:
Man in movie: (two the little kids he locked in his house) Just answer this riddle. Than I'll let あなた go free.
Jon:TWO KIDS ARE GONNA DIE TONIGHT!!

#3: GOOSEBUMPS:
Jerry: Oh man, あなた and your dumb hobbies!
JonTron: Yeah, fuck あなた for being interested in things, あなた stupid bitch!

#4: TITANIC:
Jon: Wait, it's just a legend? It's just...
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Hello there, ランダム people of this bitchy site, Fanpop, (for shits and giggles that was a joke, idiot.) I am here to present あなた my 上, ページのトップへ 5 undertale characters!

Well, I've gotten into the Undertale fandom about a 月 前 and I've liked a few characters and... just... yeah, it was a pretty cool game... so, here are a few shits before i start with the list.

And no, Sans または Papyrus isn't gonna be on this list, goddamnit.

There are no minibosses または bosses in this list, I might make a separate 一覧 for some shit like that.

And this is opinion based, your mother taught あなた how to respect people's opinions,...
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added by australia-101