ランダム Article: Facts about Chuck Norris

7

posted by x-menobsessed26

There used to be a 通り, ストリート named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives

Every time Chuck Norris looks into a mirror it breaks. Even glass is not stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can strangle あなた with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

Brett Farve can throw a football 50 yds. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Farve even farther.

Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.

Chuck Norris runs until the Treadmill gets tired

Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it

Chuck Norris can cut through a hot ナイフ with butter

Chuck Norris and スーパーマン once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

Chuck Norris does not need Twitter...he is already following you.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

There is no 'Ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience

Chuck Norris put out a forest fire. using only gasoline

Chuck Norris can understand women.

They found Chuck's diary...It is now known as The Guiness Book of World Records.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

The Universe is constantly expanding, in a futile attempt to escape from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once got bit によって a rattle snake...After three days of pain and agony ...the rattle snake died

Chuck Norris will never have a ハート, 心 attack. His ハート, 心 isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

The original タイトル for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen 秒 long.

Chuck Norris once scared a baby. To this 日 that baby is still screaming in fear......his name is Justin Bieber

Chuck Norris doesn't battle... he just allows あなた to lose

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

most kids pee their name into snow... Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...

Chuck Norris jumped off a building once. The ground didn't make it..

Chuck Norris was dropped twice as a baby. First on Hiroshima, then on Nagasaki.

When Chuck Norris wants a steak, cows volunteer. It's just easier that way.

Even atheists believe in Chuck Norris

Oxygen needs Chuck Norris to survive.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a 一覧 of 動物 Chuck Norris allows to live

Chuck Norris uses a sundial at night

Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry

Chuck Norris can get blackjack with one card

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris can パンチ a cyclops between the eyes.

Growing up Chuck Norris raised 4 turtles, we now them now as the Ninja Turtles

Chuck Norris can light a 火災, 火によって rubbing two ice-cubes together.

Chuck Norris can set ants on 火災, 火 with a magnifying glass. At night.

The Black Eyed Peas used to be called "The Peas"... until they met Chuck Norris.

the 恐竜 made Chuck Norris mad...once

Chuck Norris once roundhoused a planet so hard and so fast it burst into flames, today it is known as the sun

Windows 7 was Chuck Norris' idea

Curiosity didn't kill the cat..... Chuck Norris did.

When Chuck Norris was born he slapped the doctor to test his reflexes.

Chuck Norris can cook 分ご飯, 米 in 30 seconds

When Bruce Banner's angry he turn into the Hulk. When the Hulk's angry he turns into Chuck Norris

deathding, Tdinoahiscute4 and 5 others like this

27

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HETALIA! Great Britain VS France

posted by SheWolf11

France
Honhonhon! Bonjour English man! Grow a real dick and don't fuck with Peter Pan! I'm Francis Bonnefoy and everyone loves me! あなた call me a wanker, cause mine is the biggest! Fuck off with your kid brother, cause USUK surely hits it!

Britain
SHUT UP! あなた DAMN FROG FACE! The fact that your on the same continent is a disgrace! All あなた are is a bloody wanker, my rhymes hit hard, like Captain Hook's anchor! Your just a bloody whore, I can't stand your face no more, your such a prick! Even Sealand has もっと見る dick! I have an army of Red Coats! あなた have shitty little boats! Waiting till the last minute?...

1

The Babysitter Part 1

posted by adaug

Mom:Okay kids!(4 kids)get in here!I got news!
Kennedy:What is it?
Mom:Me and your dad are going on a date
*grasshopper sound*
Mom:so あなた guy will need a babysitter!

*10 分 later the baby sitter came*
Mom:Hello!I'm Amy!
Babysitter:I'm Ashley!
Mom:DARELL!Get your butt in here!
*Mom and Dad leave*
Ashley:Hi kids!I'm your babysitter Ashley!
kids:HI!
Kid:I'm Amber!I'm four!
Ashley:Hi Amber!*ruffles hair*cute!
Amber:Never...touch...ME!!!
Ashley:OH kay!
Kid:I'm Zack!I'm 9
Ashley:Hello!

*59 分 later*
Amber:I wuv お茶, 紅茶 parties!!
Ashley*Walks in*Hey Amber what are あなた doing?
Amber:Having a お茶, 紅茶 party!
Ashley:Can I...

15

Actual McDonalds Job Application

posted by Aimee147

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President または Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a 年 plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING:...

1

上, ページのトップへ 15 best looking アニメ dudes

posted by angelscry

(there is no order)

1.Allen walker (d grey man)
2.Gaara (naruto/shippuden
3.Hatsuharu sohma (fruits basket)
4.Deidara (naruto shippuden)
5.Senri shiki (vampire knight)
6.Tsubasa otori (beyblade/metal masters)
7.Toushiro hitsugaya (bleach the movie)
8.Neji hyuga (naruto/shippuden)
9.Mystel (beyblade g revolution)
10.zelgardis breywords (the slayers)
11.hikaru (ouran highschool host club)
12.china (hetalia) (i think?)
13.hanabusa (vampire knight)
14.takama ichijo (vampire knight)
15.zaku (naruto) (deceased aka dead)

1

ランダム jokes....(actually they r PJs)

posted by pollydbookworm

This アヒル, 鴨 walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk, "Do あなた have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the アヒル, 鴨 leaves.

The 次 day, the アヒル, 鴨 returns and asks, "Do あなた have any grapes?" The clerk again says no, and the アヒル, 鴨 leaves.

The 日 after that, the アヒル, 鴨 walks in the store again and asks "Do あなた have any grapes?" The clerk screams at the duck, "You've come in here the past two days and asked if we had any grapes. I told あなた no every time that we don't have any grapes! I swear if あなた come back in here again, and ask for grapes, I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor!!"

The duck...

3

18 Reasons Why it Sucks to be the Akward Girl

posted by msfit39

1. Every 日 at school is the same
2. あなた never know if your braids look digusting または not
3. あなた are so used to never talking that if somebody says something to you, never know how to react
4. あなた would like to think that people notice または even think about あなた but あなた are really just the big ugly quiet black girl nobody knows または cares about
5. あなた worry people will write nasty コメント on your ファンポップ記事 that is obvioustly meant to vent your feeling out
6. On the weekend all あなた do is watch tv and sleep and play with your cat
7. When あなた only really have like 3 フレンズ at school and 2 of them...

1

The 表示する SpongeBob Squarepants linked to attention problems and learning.

posted by carsfan

The 表示する SpongeBob linked to attention problems and learning

The 表示する SpongeBob SquarePants is pointed によって a study which indicates that the viewing for only nine 分 of the 表示する may cause short-term attention problems and learning in children four years.

Such problems have been observed in a study of 60 randomly selected children to watch SpongeBob または Caillou, in which 画像 change もっと見る slowly, または to draw in nine minutes.

Immediately after this activity, children were tested for mental function. And those who watched SpongeBob scored lower than others.

Previous studies had already established...

4

The Evil Teddy Bear: This is starting to be a nightmare

posted by darktheheghog

previously on the Evil Teddy Bear: Jenni Peter and Tina were thinking of a way to find out who was trying to wreck their house then all of a sudden there was a noise and it was coming from Tina's room. Tina got mad cause she doesnt let ANYONE besides Peter and Jenni and herself in her room. she was about to stomp over to her room but Jenni stepped in front of her and tried to calm Tina down Peter helped out with trying to calm Tina down as well. Tina sighed calming down after that they all went to Tina's room when they opened the door they were all shocked Tina's cd's were all broken her paintings...

3

fun "rules" of life and a Cynic's guide to life

posted by Hinata-Snow

I'm putting two funny 記事 together in one, hope あなた enjoy it!

Some fun rules
1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
2. I 愛 deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
3. Am I getting smart with you? How would あなた know?
4. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
5. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
6. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
7. Tell me what あなた need, and I'll tell you...

1

The Evil Teddy Bear: Lets Solve The Mistery Gang

posted by darktheheghog

previously on the Evil Teddy Bear: Tina Unlocked the door to their house and they all walked inside then Peter put the Teddy くま, クマ on the self after that they all got hungery so Tina went to the shops to get some 食 while Peter and Jenni were playing Uno they heard a crash in the キッチン and ran over there they got a big shock when they saw how messy the キッチン was when Tina got ホーム she saw what the キッチン was like and she got a big shock herself then while they all were thinking of a plan to see who did this to their ホーム the Teddy くま, クマ was hiding in the キッチン cupboard as it chuckled...

8

15 BEST Excuses for falling asleep at your 机, デスク

posted by iluvsmj

15) They told me at the blood bank that this might happen.

14) This is just a 15 分 power nap like they raved about in the last
time-management course あなた sent me to.

13) Whew! Guess I left the 上, ページのトップへ off of the Liquid Paper.

12) I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm.

11) This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people.

10) I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance.

9) I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress.
Are あなた discriminating against people who practice yoga?

8) I was doing a "Stress Level Elimination Exercise...

2

lilly's diary - my mother, the b**ch

posted by dxcfan101

dear diary, today was the worst - first a car ran over my lunch so i had to rob somebody's lunch money, 秒 i got a F on my history paper, third mrs perrywinkle slaped me with her ベルト serosly this is the 21 centery your not aloud to slap teenagers with belts, and forth when i got ホーム my history paper fell out of my bag and my mother picked it up and started 読書 it so what did i do, i rushed upstairs into my room 1 秒 later i hear my mother scream off the 上, ページのトップへ of her lungs LILLY GET あなた BUT DOWN HERE...NOW!!!!!!!! god i said, so i go down. what is this she 発言しました uuummm my homework...

4

ランダム facts!!!!!!!!!!

posted by kinga10111

..... ランダム Facts .....

If あなた have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, あなた have $1.19. あなた also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the リンカーン Memorial.

President Kennedy was the fastest ランダム speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.

In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.

Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.

The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties...

9

36 Weird Facts That あなた PROBABLY Never Heard Of

posted by TotalDramaChick

1.Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

2.Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

3.There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

4.The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

5.A 鮫, サメ is the only 魚 that can blink with both eyes.

6.There are もっと見る chickens than people in the world.

7.Two-thirds of the world's ナス is grown in New Jersey.

8.The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."

9.On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.

10.All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on...

5

Barbara Streisand によってアヒル, 鴨 Sauce Lyrics

posted by myareid17

Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoo

Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoo

Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoo

Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoo...

4

The Script to the episode Invader Zim:Nubs Of Doom

posted by invadercalliope

INT. A SHOPPING MALL WE'VE USED BEFORE - DAY.

The mall. Teenage girls bury their heads in piles of clothes and giggle. A Sale Sign goes up and they scream. Mothers drag kids によって their heels. As the people pass by, they glance uncomfortably at something off-screen then hurry along. The children point, faces uncomprehending.

Pan over to find ZIM and ガー in a dark corner, near a waste receptacle, dressed as clowns. ZIM just stares out evilly at the passing people. ガー simply stares, holding balloons.

ZIM (to GIR)
Look at them, GIR. THEY think we are clowns. But we are not clowns.

GIR gasps in shock....

Kanon (2006) Ending Theme – Kaze no Tadoritsuku Basho

posted by invadercalliope

Ashimoto ni kaze hikari ga matta nichijou ni dake tsumotta bun no kiseki ga
Miagereba kumo tooku e no kiro osanai hi no jibun yori mo hayaku
Yukidoke o matte ita kodomo no あなた ni hashiru
Hikaru shizuku tobihaneteru
Asu no deai sae kizukazu ni iru kisetsu-tachi no naka de kagayaite iru yo

Sekaijuu ni wa donna omoi mo kanau hi ga kuru
Zutto tabi o shite yuku bokura ni chiisana sei-tachi maioriru

Deatta basho mo midori o nashite yuruyaka ni mo nagareru toki ni yudanete
Haruka ni aogu machinami no roji osanai hi no jibun ga mada kakeru
Ano yuuhodou kara kikoete kuru kigi no koe ya hibi no zawameki...

4

45 名言・格言 A La Melancholia

posted by cute20k

Okay, I don't really cry a lot but these 名言・格言 are all a little sad. They're in no particular order.

1. "A million words wouldnt bring あなた back, I know because I tried. Neither would a million tears, I know because I've cried."

2. "When you're in 愛 and あなた get hurt, it's like a cut, it will heal with time but the scars will never fade"

3. "What happens when he's your prince charming, but you're not his cinderella?"

4. "The worst feeling in the world is giving all the 愛あなた have and knowing it will never be returned"

5. "You probably won't remember me. I'm probably ancient history. I'm one...

3

11 fun\funny things to do at Walmart

posted by Lady10358

1. Pretend to fall down and wait till someone says "Are あなた OK?" Then say "I'M A MONSTER!!" And see what happens
2. Walk up to a complete stranger and say "Hey, I liked your video on youtube!"
3. If it's ハロウィン go to the costume section and grab a ハロウィン bag and go up to a ランダム person and say "Trick または treat!"
3. Go to a crowded aisle and if あなた know it sing the song "Party like a rock star"
4. Follow a customer and put in items in hisher カート and say "Ready for checkout!"
5. When あなた see a old guy then point and say "Its Shakira!!"
6. Go up to an old man and say "MOMMY!! I HAVEN'T...

6

ランダム but true facts

posted by spunkyonyx

こんにちは guys, found some interesting and strange facts, some are just facts I have known a long time ago(school, wandering around websites), others are ones that I have found, I apply the 情報源 if available. Any others あなた may want to add up feel free to do so. Enjoy!

1) Coca-cola was once green.
It was green because it was accidentally carbonated when a clerk squirted syrup into the wrong glass.

2)Barbie doll measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33. Wow... she's cut from the team.

3)Intelligent people have もっと見る zinc and copper in their hair. *Checks... Woot!

4)You blink about 84 million times...