I found this pasted on Konorai's Fanfiction.net profile, not my idea, but LOLZ just the same!
6 reasons not to mess with children:
Reason 1:
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher 発言しました it was physically impossible for a 鯨, クジラ to 飲み込む a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed によって a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a 鯨, クジラ could not 飲み込む a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then あなた ask him ".
Reason 2:
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, または looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
Reason 3:
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six 年 olds
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
Reason 4:
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when あなた are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' または 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
Reason 5:
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as あなた know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
Reason 6:
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.
At the head of the 表, テーブル was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and 投稿されました on the 林檎, アップル tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the 表, テーブル was a large pile of チョコレート chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all あなた want. God is watching the apples."
6 reasons not to mess with children:
Reason 1:
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher 発言しました it was physically impossible for a 鯨, クジラ to 飲み込む a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed によって a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a 鯨, クジラ could not 飲み込む a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then あなた ask him ".
Reason 2:
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, または looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
Reason 3:
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six 年 olds
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
Reason 4:
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when あなた are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' または 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
Reason 5:
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as あなた know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
Reason 6:
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.
At the head of the 表, テーブル was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and 投稿されました on the 林檎, アップル tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the 表, テーブル was a large pile of チョコレート chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all あなた want. God is watching the apples."
one 日 i was getting ice cream so i bought one when i was about to eat it it 発言しました this: icecream:HEY Y U ABOUT TO EAT ME!
me: i was hungery
icecream: SO! U CANT EAT ME! *grows legs and runs away*
me: COME BACK! *CHASES ICE CREAM*
ランダム dude: O.O WHAT THE HELL?
me: come back! no wait! ICECREAM!
one 時 later
me: *catches ice cream and gets it back in bowl*
*gets it in cold house*
*waits* *takes it* *eats it
ice cream: NOOOOOO!!!! *dead* X_X
me: mmmmm
darkthehedgehog:O.O ssook?
me: yes
dark: nvm
the end
well thats the news about the talking ice cream i ate back to u dark!
dounut: こんにちは WHAT ABOUT MY STORY!
me: o.o
umm read it tommorw ok bye
me: i was hungery
icecream: SO! U CANT EAT ME! *grows legs and runs away*
me: COME BACK! *CHASES ICE CREAM*
ランダム dude: O.O WHAT THE HELL?
me: come back! no wait! ICECREAM!
one 時 later
me: *catches ice cream and gets it back in bowl*
*gets it in cold house*
*waits* *takes it* *eats it
ice cream: NOOOOOO!!!! *dead* X_X
me: mmmmm
darkthehedgehog:O.O ssook?
me: yes
dark: nvm
the end
well thats the news about the talking ice cream i ate back to u dark!
dounut: こんにちは WHAT ABOUT MY STORY!
me: o.o
umm read it tommorw ok bye
"MA!" I 発言しました "I want a sister!" My mom looked at my dad. My dad shruged and then as if relising somthing nodded yes very quick and very fast. "Alright." 発言しました my mom. "But tonight the baby fairy will be in our room and will make alot of noise so don't go near our room または it will fly away." "I won't." "Ok."
~~~~~~~~~~that night~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was in my bed. All night the sound of springs was going on in ma and da's room. I couldn't help it. I ran across the hall and peeked into their room. I didn't see a fairy. O.o
~~~~~~~~~~that night~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was in my bed. All night the sound of springs was going on in ma and da's room. I couldn't help it. I ran across the hall and peeked into their room. I didn't see a fairy. O.o
HAHAHA
