How do I become sarcastic?
"I'm the クイーン of sarcasm, あなた don't just suddenly become sarcastic, it takes practice"


My house is on fire, what do I do?
"You get off the fuckin computer and go outside!"


My brother hasn't had his period:
"Yeah. It takes longer for boys"


What's an appropriate site for a 13 年 old girl?
"Try Porn-Hub"


Can あなた get pregnant from watching porn?
"Only on wednesdays"


Every time I drink alcohol I feel sad.
"Your not drinking ENOUGH of of it!"


I was having sex with my sister and got a cramp in my leg.
"YOU HAD SEX WITH YOUR SISTER!?"


Why are 赤ちゃん ugly at first?
"How about あなた stay underwater 9-10 days, and squeeze though a straw, and see how あなた look."


How do I become a Justin Bieber fan?
"You take a large blow to the head. Maybe jump off a cliff as a start."


Is is normal to be in 愛 with your dog?
"... あなた need help"


Do あなた ネコ know when your masterbating? I'm asking for a friend?
"Your friend needs to stop smoking so much weed"


Do they have toliet paper in Canada?
"Coarse not! We use the flag of whatever country your from"


Are their birds in Canada:
"Obviously あなた never seen Alpha and Omega"


What happens if あなた paint your teeth white with nail polish?
"You die!"


How do I test if my カメ is gay?
"you 表示する it your penis, and see if it stares for もっと見る than 20 seconds"


Are there autographs of ジーザス Christ?
"No, they were all turned into wine"


How does sex start?
"With human contact!"


How long can a little girl hold her breathe
"3 weeks"


How do I ask a 質問 on Yahoo Answers?
"YOU JUST DID!!"


How do あなた tell which side of the potato chip is saltier?
"Take it to McDonald's"


Do midgets have night vision?
"Only in Mexico"


Why is canada a 安全, 安全です country?
"Cause the mighty king ガチョウ gives us 食 to eat. And perverts say please ad thank after each rape.."


Every time I get masterbate, I get angry and throw my カメ against a wall"
"I don't think your masterbating in the RIGHT way"


ハロウィン falls on a Friday the 13th this 年 for the first time in 666 years. I’m totally stabbing someone.
"You two huh?"


The devil has five letters and so does weed:
"Good for you, here's a lollipop"


Why are Americans stupid?
"Cause they are close to Canada"


Why are ALL Americans obese, stupid and religious?
"Because ALL Canadians like hockey"


Is America planning to invade Vancouver?
"No, that's Japen"


Do they have trees in America?
"Coarse not, they sold them all for guns"


I caught my son having sex with another guy, I think he might me gay.
"You THINK he might be gay!?"


What another word for being wrong?
"Women"


Is it wrong too 登録する a certain race?
"Not if あなた ask the guys dressed as ghosts"


Why does my arm turn bright red when I'm eating dirt?
"Because your a fucking moron"


What's wrong with my boyfriend?
"He's dating you"


How do あなた hide a boner?
"You get a girl to hide it in"


How did the cow milking routine get started?
"I'm guessing there was a cow molester.."


How do I know I'm really my kid's mother?
"Lord help this woman."


How do あなた 登録する Facebook.
"I want too be sarcastic.. But I struggled with this myself.. So I feel bad"


"Is evolution true? Why hasn't my dog become an elephant?
"Because he's not a pokeymon."


What happens to people burn on February?
"They get locked up in an asylum."


Why dose South Park make fun of Canada?
"Because they truly believe we are hillbillies living in igloos and all that.."


Why is Korn so awesome?
"Cause Chuck Norris materbates to their songs."