Pull out a harmonica and play blues songs when your 日付 begins talking about themselves.
Sacrifice french fries to the great deity, Pomme.
When ordering, inquire whether the restaurant has any live food.
Without asking, eat off your date's plate. Eat もっと見る from their plate than s/he does.
Drool.
Fill your pockets with sugar packets, as well as salt and pepper shakers, silverware, floral arrangements . . . i.e. anything on the 表, テーブル that isn't bolted down.
Hold a debate. Take both sides.
At dinner, guard your plate with fork and ステーキ knife, so as to give the impression that you'll stab anyone, including the waiter, who reaches for it.
Collect the salt shakers from all of the tables in the restaurant, and balance them in a tower on your table.
Wipe your nose on your date's sleeve. Twice.
Make funny faces at other patrons, then sneer at their reactions.
Repeat every third third word あなた say say.
Give your claim to fame as being voted "Most Festerous" for your high school yearbook.
Read a newspaper または book during the meal. Ignore your date.
Stare at your date's neck, and grind your teeth audibly.
Twitch spastically. If asked about it, pretend あなた don't know what they are talking about.
Stand up every five minutes, サークル, 円 your 表, テーブル with your arms outstretched, and make airplane sounds.
Order a bucket of lard.
Ask for crayons to color the place mat. This works very well in fancier venues that use linen tablecloths.
Howl and whistle at women's legs, especially if あなた are female.
Recite your dating history. Improvise. Include pets.
Chew with your mouth open, talk with your mouth full and spray crumbs.
Eat everything on your plate within 30 秒 of it being placed in front of you.
Excuse yourself to use the restroom. Go back to the head waiter/hostess and ask for another 表, テーブル in a different part of the restaurant. Order another meal. When your 日付 finally finds you, ask him/her "What in the hell took あなた so long in the restroom?!?"
Recite graphic limericks to the people at the 表, テーブル 次 to you.
Ask the people at the neighboring 表, テーブル for 食 from their plates.
Beg your 日付 to tattoo your name on their derriere. Keep bringing the subject up.
Ask your 日付 how much money they have with them.
Order for your date. Order something nasty.
Communicate in mime the entire evening.
Upon entering the restaurant, ask for a シート, 座席 away from the windows, where あなた have a あなた have a good view of all exits, and where あなた can keep your back to the wall. Act nervous.
Lick your plate. Offer to lick theirs.
Hum. Loudly. In monotone.
Undress your 日付 verbally. Use a bullhorn.
Auction your 日付 off for silverware.
Slide under the table. Take your plate with you.
Order a baked potato for a side dish. When the waiter brings your food, hide the potato, wait a few minutes, and ask the waiter for the potato あなた "never got". When the waiter returns with another potato for you, have the first one back up on the plate. Repeat later in the meal.
Order beef tongue. Make lewd comparisons または comments.
Get your 日付 drunk. Talk about their philosophy. Get it on tape, and use good judgment in editing to twist their words around.
Discuss boils and lesions, as if from personal experience.
Speak in pig latin throughout the meal (Or ubber-dubber language, または just nonsense).
Take a break, and go into the restroom. When あなた return to the table, throw a spare pair of underwear on the back of one of the chairs. Insist that they just need airing out.
If they are paying, order the most expensive thing on the menu. Take one bite.
Bring 20 または so candles you, and during the meal get up and arrange them around the 表, テーブル in a circle. Chant.
Save the BONES（ボーンズ）-骨は語る- from your meal, and explain that you're taking them ホーム to your invalid, senile old mother, because it's a lot cheaper than actually feeding her.
Order your 食 によって Colors（色） and textures. Sculpt.
Take a thermos along, and hide it under the table. Order coffee, and fill the thermos one cup at a time, taking advantage of the free refills.
Insist that the waiter cuts your 食 into little pieces. In a similar vein, insist that he take a bite of everything on the plate, to make sure no one poisoned it.
Accuse your 日付 of espionage.
Make odd allusions to dangerous religious cults.
Don't use any verbs during the entire meal.
Pass the hat in the restaurant. Use the proceeds (if any) to pay the bill.
Break wind loudly. Add color commentary. Bow.
Feed imaginary friends, または toy ドール you've brought along.
Bring a bucket along. Explain that あなた frequently get ill.
Quote Beavis & Butthead . . . especially in reference to how your 日付 would like to be pleased.
Listen to violent 音楽 before going out. Recite all the expletives during your meal.
After キス him/her explain that you're doing a study on the spread of mononucleosis.
Shoot hoops with エビ into his/her wine glass.
表示する up with make up on ninety percent of your body . . . all lipstick . . . especially if you're male.
Dominate the conversation. Every time your 日付 opens his mouth, interrupt and start a new conversation.
Belch. Rate yourself.
Complain of the effects of the acid あなた dropped before the meal.
コメント that the 表, テーブル would look simply marvelous with a severed head as a centerpiece.
As あなた 食 arrives, mention how long it's been since あなた last ate raw meat.
Count your contraceptives.
Stroke your thigh while commenting how much あなた can't wait until the meal is over.
Yawn. Don't cover your mouth. Roar.
When the meal is done and the 質問 arises of whether to go someplace else, politely decline saying that あなた have had your fill of bad taste for the night.