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posted by australia-101
37 Rude & Crude Pick-up Lines
1. I wish あなた were a door so I could slam あなた all day.
2. Nice legs...what time do they open?
3. Do あなた work for UPS? I thought I saw あなた checking out my package.
4. You've got 206 BONES(ボーンズ)-骨は語る- in your body, want one more?
5. Can I buy あなた a drink または do あなた just want the money?
6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted ベッド Thrasher: have あなた seen one?
8. I'm fighting the urge to make あなた the happiest woman on earth tonight.
9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and あなた can blow the hell outta me.
10. I wish あなた were a ポニー Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride あなた all 日 long for a quarter.
11. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
12. I'd really like to see how あなた look when I'm naked.
13. Is that a ladder in your stockings または the stairway to heaven?
14. あなた might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
15. Are those real?
16. あなた must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
17. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing あなた do with your tongue.
18. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be あなた によって morning.
19. (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.
20. あなた know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
21. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?
22. F@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name シェリー, シェリー酒 Titsbottom?
23. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
24. My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.
25. Do あなた believe in 愛 at first sight または should I walk によって again?
26. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone 発言しました あなた were looking for me.
27. My friend wants to know if あなた think I'M cute.
28. Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
29. My name isn't Elmo, but あなた can tickle me anytime あなた want to.
30. I know ミルク does a body good, but DAMN, how much have あなた been drinking?
31. If あなた were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.
32. Wanna come over for some ピザ and sex? No? Why? Don't あなた like pizza?
33. Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go ホーム without me.
34. Do あなた sleep on your stomach? Can I???
35. Do あなた wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.
36. I ロスト my puppy. Can あなた help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
37. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get あなた out of these wet clothes.
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.

Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom Foolery: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: How is everypony doing today?
Audience: Good.
Master Sword: That word is used too often. Not only does it describe the way you're feeling, but it also describes... Ah, forget it.
Tom: Save the screw ups for the bloopers, okay?
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: We have a special guest on our 表示する today, and his name is Nocturnal Mirage.
Audience: *Cheering*
Mirage: *Arrives*
Master Sword: Hey, good to see あなた again....
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によって Neil Sedaka
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posted by karpach_13
Blonde Cop


This blonde cop stops a blonde driver and asks for identification.

The blonde driver looks all around in her 財布 and can’t find her license. “I must have left it at home, officer.”

“Well, do あなた have any kind of identification on you?” asks the cop.

The blonde takes out a pocket mirror and says, “I do have this picture of me.”

“Let me see it,” says the cop. She holds up the mirror and looks in it. Then she says, “Sorry. If I had known あなた were a police officer, I wouldn’t have stopped you.”



Civic Lesson

In a high school civics class, they were discussing the qualifications...
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