[Everybody Loves Raymond] 116 - Diamonds #385
Marie: Oh I used to 愛 Valentines Day!... then I met your father.
Frank: I used to 愛 every day.
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 121 - Fascinating Debra #409
Debra: There's nothing funny about me to imitate y'know?
Ray: Oh, what are あなた talking about? Here I'll do you. "Ray, get off of me, it's not your birthday"
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 202 - Father Knows Least #380
Ray: Look, あなた have to do what Mommy says.
Ally: Why?
Ray: 'Cause I do.
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 207 - Anniversary #381
Marie: We almost got divorced.
Frank: There's a sad word��'- almost.
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 208 - The Children's Book #382
Ray: I was wondering-- are we still fighting?
Debra: What? Oh, no, no.
Ray: Okay, good. I almost bought flowers.
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 212 - All I Want For クリスマス #379
[about sex]
Debra: あなた know, it's not always me what about last week when I was in the mood and あなた weren't?
Raymond: When was that???
Debra: Wednesday. あなた were watching TV I asked あなた to give me a backrub. Yeah あなた gave me one of these one-handed deals.
Raymond: Wait wait a minute. あなた ask for a backrub, and that means Mr. Smith goes to Washington?
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 212 - All I Want For クリスマス #383
Ray: Not the flannel pajamas!
Debra: What?
Ray: When あなた come to ベッド wearing that silky thing I know I have a chance but the flannel pajamas? あなた might as well be wearing a porcupine suit!
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 217 - The Ride-Along #384
Debra: Ally, what are あなた doing?
Ally: Cutting Molly's hair.
Debra: Oh no, no, honey, あなた can't cut a doll's hair. It won't grow back-- only people hair grows back.
Ally: Oh. [pauses, calls for her baby brother] Geoffrey!
Debra: Oh, no, no, no, Ally, go ahead. Just cut the doll's hair. Hey, look, あなた missed a spot.
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 303 - The Sitter #398
Ray: [referring to messy house] あなた know what あなた need, あなた need some real help around here.
[Debra glares at Ray]
Ray: Keeping in mind I have a very busy schedule.
Debra: Oh yeah that's right gee isn't it time for your 9 o'clock butt scratch?
Ray: That's okay I don't do that anymore I'm on the patch.
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 305 - The Visit #399
[practising saying mom for Debra's mother]
Ray: Mom... mom... mom...
Marie: [walks through door] Hiii!
Ray: Wow, that... that is powerful... Let me try something: Xena warrior princess, Xena warrior princess...
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com





[Everybody Loves Raymond] 310 - No Fat #410
Ray: Hey.
Marie: Hi honey, want some eggs?
Frank: Don't listen to her, it's not eggs. It's got fake egg crap.
Marie: It tastes exactly the same.
Frank: Yes. Exactly like crap.
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 310 - No Fat #411
Ray: Why didn't あなた bring your dog, Robert?
Robert: I don't think Shamsky would eat this.
Ray: Yeah, but we could eat him.
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 413 - Bully On The Bus #343
Marie: I sense tension and anger.
Frank: Maybe you're picking up your own scent.
Contributed によって Courtney E



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 416 - The Tenth Anniversary #371
Raymond: Happy Anniversary. Hey, あなた know what I was thinking? Since this is our tenth anniversary, why don't we let the kids stay at grandmas and grandpas, all night, if あなた know what I mean?
Debra: Hey, こんにちは we could watch our wedding video?
Raymond: I guess あなた don't know what I mean.
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 416 - The Tenth Anniversary #372
[after finding out 線, レイ taped over his wedding video]
Frank: こんにちは good work Ray. Now when some broad starts yapping "you're never romantic!". Guys everywhere can say "Hey, あなた think I'm bad? At least I didn't pull a 線, レイ Barone.
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 416 - The Tenth Anniversary #373
Marie: Well I'll tell あなた what I would like if I were Debra...
Frank: I'd like it if あなた were Debra!
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 416 - The Tenth Anniversary #374
Robert: [referring to the wedding magazines] Where did あなた get these?
Ray: The ニューススタンド, 新聞販売店 -- it was so embarrassing. I had to buy some porn just to even it out.
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 418 - Debra Makes Something Good #375
Frank: First of all, if I have anything to say about your mother, I'm not afraid to say it right to her face... 秒 of all, those are not jokes.
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 418 - Debra Makes Something Good #402
Ray: I'm not going to make those jokes anymore.
Debra: Thank you.
Ray: Will あなた still cook for me?
Debra: Yes.
Ray: Will あなた take your clothes off?
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 421 - Someone's Cranky #376
Raymond: Maybe あなた should cut them some slack.
Robert: What?
Raymond: Yeah 'cause they mean well... y'know?... Well, mom means well, dad's just, mean.
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com





[Everybody Loves Raymond] 421 - Someone's Cranky #377
Robert: Apparently if あなた leave ミルク out for twelve weeks, it goes bad and then explodes. [holds a candle] However, this is lavender bouquet.
Raymond: Can we use it to light the apartment on fire?
Debra: Robert, do あなた have any もっと見る candles?
Frank: または an old sneaker I can bury my face in?
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 422 - Bad Moon Rising #378
Raymond: People! Shut up all of あなた guys. Debra's not feeling well, bio... hormonally.
Frank: Oh! Got it. The enemy within.
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 422 - Bad Moon Rising #400
Debra: Oh, would あなた STOP? I'm not crying because of the way I sound! I'm crying because I'm married to an insensitive derfwad, who instead of trying to make life easier for his wife, tape-records her so he has proof she's a terrible person!
Ray: What's a derfwad?
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 508 - Young Girl #388
Ray: Let me tell あなた something Robert, there's two Debras. That's right. There's the Debra あなた see that doesn't have a problem with it. Then, when everybody leaves, there's the Debra that I see: Darth Debra.
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 515 - Silent Partners #391
Ray: If one was asked to read a book called Devilwood, one would be correct in assuming that the book was scary, または exciting または had something devil-y in it, wouldn't one?
Robert: One would.
Ray: Well then one would be wrong!
Robert: What's going on Raymond?
Ray: Debra wants me to read this so we have stuff in common. But I swear this sucker's like a horse tranquilizer.
Here, listen to this first line. "Imagine a rain so beautiful it must never have existed" what does that mean? What does that mean?? Tell me right now what does that mean???
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 515 - Silent Partners #392
Debra: Have あなた read any of that book?
Ray: I read a lot.
Debra: Yeah? What's it about?
Ray: It's, it's about a rain that's so beautiful, I can't even believe it existed.
Debra: That's the first line, you've read ONE LINE!
Ray: And I was gonna read the 次 line when I came out of my COMA!
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 515 - Silent Partners #393
Ray: This バター is the perfect temperature スラッシュ density.
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 522 - Say Uncle #304
Frank: Marie, what the hell? One 秒 あなた were making me pancakes, the 次 秒 you're gone... which would be great if there were pancakes.
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 612 - Season's Greetings #313
[about the クリスマス letter from ten years prior]
Frank: I remember this. I had all the stuff I was gonna do when I retire on it.
Marie: Was "be nicer to your wife" on there?
Frank: Might as well have been, it's all ridiculous crap!
Contributed によって evilcheese



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 618 - The Breakup Tape #315
Ray: So I have to live in a museum of your erotic past.
Debra: It's not a museum.
Ray: So あなた admit... it was erotic!
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com


[Everybody Loves Raymond] 619 - Talk To Your Daughter #316
Frank: Let me tell あなた about life.
Ray: Great. We're gonna hear the meaning of life from a man who once threw his shoe at a swan.
Frank: That's called "Protecting your sandwich".
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 619 - Talk To Your Daughter #317
Ray: What, あなた don't think I can do it? I'll do it, I'll have the sex talk with her.
Debra: I'll tell あなた what, Ray. あなた can be there, and I'll explain it to the both of you.
Contributed によって evilcheese



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 620 - A Vote For Debra #318
Debra: あなた were stuffing your pants with food!
Ray: I'm your husband, you're supposed to support me no matter what's in my pants!
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 625 - The First Time #319
Debra: Oh, honey, honey, not tonight, okay? How about tomorrow?
Ray: How about we start tonight and go til tomorrow?
Debra: We'd have to start at 11:59, then.
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 705 - Who Am I? #320
Ray: Are あなた having an affair with the bookstore guy?
Debra: Right. He's 60 years old, got one eye, and he smells of the jungle.
Ray: Yeah, that's how あなた like it.
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 712 - Grandpa Steals #321
Robert: Your daughter, your problem.
Ray: You're stupid, you're ugly.
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 714 - Just A Formality #322
Debra: あなた listen to me Robert. This is between あなた and Amy. Her parents
are just going to have to get used to the idea. But it's your life. あなた do what あなた want to do.
Ray: Until あなた get married. Then あなた do what she wants to do.
Contributed によって evilcheese



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 715 - The Disciplinarian #323
Ray: Come on. You've seen me lay down the law, right?
Frank: I've seen あなた lay down.
Contributed によって evilcheese



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 717 - Meeting The Parents #324
Frank: Dear Lord, please keep this in-law family the hell away from me!
Hank: And あなた can stay the heck away from us, too.
Frank: あなた can say "heck" all あなた want, He knows あなた mean "Hell"!
Contributed によって Courtney E



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 718 - The Plan #403
[After Robert messes up the wedding invitations]
Amy: And what's this? 'Attire optional?' It's supposed to be 'black tie optional.' 'Attire optional' means 'maybe naked'! There's going to be nude people... at the church... on a Wednesday!
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com





[Everybody Loves Raymond] 720 - Who's Next? #325
Marie: あなた stay away from my husband!
Frank: Marie, we were just talking.
Marie: あなた weren't just talking, あなた were picturing her naked.
Frank: Get out of my head, Woman!
Contributed によって Courtney E



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 722 - Baggage #401
Debra: I have to do everything around here! I swear, if I don't do it, then it doesn't get done!
Frank: Well, that's because...now, take it easy...-that's how it's supposed to be.
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 803 - ホーム From School #326
Michael: I don't have any homework!
Ray: Woahwoahwoawoa... who do あなた think you're dealing with here huh? I may seem stupid, but that's just to get your mother to not ask me to do stuff, okay?... I know all the angles pal, I know all the excuses. If my dog Shamsky had eaten as much homework as I 発言しました he woulda pooped the encyclopedia britannica.
Contributed によって Courtney E



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 803 - ホーム From School #327
Michael: I went up to the teacher to ask her a question, and I accidentally 発言しました "Mommy."
Ray: あなた called the teacher "Mommy?" Why? Was the teacher yelling?
Contributed によって Courtney E



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 804 - Misery Loves Company #311
Robert: You're so closed off. Holding your wife's hand could be pleasurable for you. And もっと見る importantly, it might allow her to feel wanted and loved によって you.
Raymond: How does that get me out of laundry?
Robert: If あなた could connect with your wife emotionally, then perhaps あなた wouldn't see doing laundry as a chore. あなた might do it willingly, for her, as a gesture of love.
Raymond: あなた are an idiot wrapped in a moron.
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 814 - Lateness #328
Debra: あなた used to think I was worth waiting for.
Ray: あなた were worth waiting for, but after fifteen years, あなた should be here によって now!
Contributed によって Courtney E



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 816 - Security #329
Marie: Since when is there a law against me expressing my feelings?
Frank: I've been trying to pass that legislation for years.
Contributed によって Courtney E



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 821 - The Model #330
Marie: I always thought Robert was a looker.
Frank: I always thought he was もっと見る of a "look at that."
Contributed によって Courtney E



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 905 - Ally's F #331
Debra: Look at all the scribbles on this notebook! "Tommy and Ally Forever," "Ally Hearts Tommy," "Ally Sanders."
Ray: Oh, look. あなた see? That's not even Ally's notebook.
Contributed によって Courtney E



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 905 - Ally's F #332
Amy: あなた know, Deb, every child goes through this rebellious phase. I did. One time, in Church choir, we were all supposed to sing "What a Friend We Have In Jesus," and my フレンズ and I sang "What a Friend We Have in Cheeses!"
Contributed によって Courtney E


[Everybody Loves Raymond] 905 - Ally's F #333
Robert: What about when I was 13 years old, and my バスケットボール, バスケット ボール coach called me "The Useless Giraffe?"
Frank: あなた were six foot five. あなた couldn't grab a couple of rebounds?
Contributed によって Courtney E



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 905 - Ally's F #334
Ray: If x equals lame, that guy is 4 times x!
Contributed によって Courtney E



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 906 - Boys' Therapy #335
[Frank is 読書 a paper on the track horses]
Frank: we gotta bet this horse. It's unbeatable! It's unstoppable.
Robert: Marie's Mouth
Ray: This is a sign!
Contributed によって Courtney E



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 911 - The Faux Pas #336
Debra: I want to assure あなた that Marie does not speak for all of us.
Frank: No, she just speaks もっと見る than all of us.
Contributed によって funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 912 - Tasteless Frank #337
Frank: Hey, could あなた pass the salt?
Marie: What did あなた say?
Frank: I want to put some salt on this.
Marie: In 47 years of marriage, you've never salted my lasagna!
Frank: Marie, it's bad enough it needs it. あなた gotta remind me how long we've been married?
Contributed によって evilcheese



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 912 - Tasteless Frank #338
Robert: あなた know, Dad, I have to say, I'm surprised that あなた can't appreciate the interplay of these flavors--the smokiness of the ham, delicately contrasting with the sweetness of the egg custard.
Frank: Why don't あなた put on a dress and do a dance?
Contributed によって evilcheese



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 913 - Sister-In-Law #339
Amy: I should've realized guys just want to watch TV and be left alone.
Frank: Amy, will あなた marry me?
Contributed によって Courtney E



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 914 - The Power Of No #340
Robert: Yeah, I always know when Amy's in the mood, cause she gives me this little sly smile.
Ray: Yeah... I think she's saying hurry up and get it over with.
Contributed によって Courtney E



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 914 - The Power Of No #341
Ray: It's like the もっと見る I turn her down, the もっと見る she wants it. She's like a guy!
Contributed によって Courtney E



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 914 - The Power Of No #342
Robert: I'm going to help Amy pick out drapes.
Ray: If there's any material left over, maybe あなた can make yourself a little skirt.
Contributed によって Courtney E