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posted by The_Random_Guy
The three little pigs (edited version)

Once appon a time, There were three pigs named Dakota, Kelsey and Jessica. They had a problem... A 狼, オオカミ named Gibby was trying to kill them!
"Kelsey, Do あなた want to come with me to go find Jessica?" Dakota asks.
"Sure." 返信 Kelsey.
They walk outside and look in the forest only to see Jessica setting up traps for the wolf.
"Jessica, What the f*ck are あなた doing?" Asks Kelsey.
"What does it look like I'm doing...I'm putting up traps to see if I can catch Gibby." She says as she looks at Kelsey with an annoyed expression.
"Calm yourself..Damn!" Says Dakota as she looks at Jessica.
"I agree with Dakota." Adds Kelsey.
"Ok, ok..Anyway, what do あなた guys want?"
"We just wanted to make sure あなた were ok." Says Kelsey.
"I'm fine, just really bored so I decided to make some traps."

Immidately after Jessica finneshed her sentance, Gibby jumps out from behind a tree.
"Haha! Your traps wont work now because I know where they all are!" Says Gibby with a smart attitude.
Suddenly, Dakota hits Gibby in the head with a huge 木, ツリー branch.
"Suck on that b*tch!"
Both Kelsey and Jessica are standing there just looking at Dakota.
"Damn..I didn't see that comeing." Says Jessica.
Gibby slowly gets up while rubbing his head.
"What the f*ck just happened?"

Kelsey grabs the branch from Dakota and starts beating Gibby with it.
"Die あなた son of a b*tch! Die!" Yells Kelsey.
"Wow.. Your a psycopathic b*tch!" Says Jessica.
"Yes, yes I am." Kelsey says while laughing.
They all stand there and wait for Gibby to wake up.
"Lets beat him with another stick!" Suggests Dakota.
"No, I have a better idea." Jessica says while smiling evily.
"What do あなた want to do then?" Asks Kelsey.

Jessica starts digging a hole and when she is done she tells Dakota to put Gibby in the hole.
"Ok, So instead of beating him with a stick あなた want to put him in a hole?" Asks Dakota.
"Hmmmm..... Yeah that's a stupid idea... Oh! I have another idea!" Exclaims Jessica.
"What is it?" Asks Kelsey.
Somehow with Jessica's magical pig powers, They all appear on 上, ページのトップへ of the Empire state building. Dakota looks down over the edge of the building.
"Holy sh*t! We're really far up!"
"Yeah yeah, Now shut up and help me." Says Jessica.
Dakota and Jessica 移動する Gibby onto the edge of the roof top.
"Ok, Now we just wait for him to wake up and we push him off." Says Jessica while smiling evily.
"Oh my god, Jessica あなた have some serious mental problems." Says Kelsey as she stares at Jessica.
"Well I figured since he's trying to kill us, We should kill him first." Says Jessica.
"Good point." Adds Dakota.
"Exactly." Says Jessica.
Five 分 later... Gibby wakes up and see's that he is on the edge of a building.
"Oh my f*cking god! Where the f*ck am I?!"
"We're on 上, ページのトップへ of the Empire state building." Says Jessica, Looking at him evily.
"Why are we uphere?" He asks with a scared tone.
Jessica pushes him off the edge and watches him fall to his death.
"That's why." She says while laughing.
Kelsey and Dakota slowly start to back away from their mentaly insane friend. Then Jessica quickly turns around and see's them leaving.
"Where do あなた think you're going?" She asks.
"You're f*cking crazy! We're done with this sh*t!" Yells Kelsey.
Jessica glares at Kelsey.
"Call me crazy..One もっと見る time." Jessica says with an angry look.
"You...Are...A...F*cking...Crazy...B*tch!" Says Kelsey.
Dakota slips away while Kelsey and Jessica are argueing.
"That's it!" Jessica yells, pushing Kelsey off the building.
"Ahhhhhhhhh!"
Jessica looks down and laughs as Kelsey lands on a car. Then she turns around to see that Dakota was gone.
"Oh my f*cking god! Jessica has gone f*cking insane!" Yells Dakota while running away.
Jessica starts chasing Dakota but looses her.
"What the f*ck.. Where did she go?" Asks Jessica.
Jessica walks past a trash can and all of a sudden, Dakota stands up and beats Jessica with a pop-tart.
"Die あなた psyco b*tch!" Yells Dakota.
She stands there holding a bloody pop-tart and stares at Jessica's dead body.
"I hope あなた burn in hell..." Mutters Dakota.

The End...?
This story was created によって Dylan Carter.
Characters are Dakota Klesen, Kelsey Estes, Nick Curto (Gibby) and Jessica Carter
added by Gretulee
added by 3xZ
added by mina27
added by TimberHumphrey
video
posted by CullenProperty
1.    Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.
2. Guys 愛 flirts.
3. A guy can like あなた for a minute, and then forget あなた afterwards.
4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.
5. "Are あなた doing something?" または "Have あなた eaten already?" are the first usual 質問 a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.
6. Guys may be flirting around all 日 but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
7. When a guy really likes you,...
continue reading...
DEMENTED POEMS

バラ are crap
Violets are shit
Sit on my face
And wiggle a bit

バラ are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
Cuz here comes my willy

バラ are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your shirt
And 表示する me your tits

バラ make me laugh
Violets make me titter
You're a dirty bitch
And あなた 愛 it up the shitter

バラ are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted

バラ are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I've just cum
Pass me a hanky

バラ are red
It's elementary
Let's ring your best friend
And try double entry

バラ are shit
Violets are crap
表示する me your clit
And I'll cum in your lap

バラ are red
Skidmarks are brown
Give me a blow job
And 飲み込む it down

バラ are groovy
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
And spanking my monkey
posted by Bubblekat
1. Go around stores, pick up items and yell out really loudly "Who buys this CRAP anyway?!"

2. Get a cart, get on the bar below the bar あなた grip, and push it down the isle, extra points for running into something または someone

3. Go up to a ランダム person and say "you have pretty eyes, may I have your eyes?!" and hear to see what they say

4. Laugh randomly

5. If someones talking on a cellphone Go closer to them and start maki ランダム noises to disturb them, extra points if they hang up

6. If your near a 噴水 run to it and start splashing in it

7. If your mom starts nagging to あなた in public about the...
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1. At the movies: When あなた meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question:-
Hey, what are あなた doing here?
Answer:-
Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…
Stupid Question:-
Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-
No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia.. …why don’t あなた try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask…
Stupid Question:-
Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-
Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When あなた ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-
Is ! the “Butter Paneer Masala”...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
my friend sent me this text message a while 前 and i thought it was hilarious!!!




i need to ask あなた somethingand i want あなた to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how あなた feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want あなた to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...

Pepsi または Coke?



Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.
added by adultswimperson
Source: Google
I found this hilarious 記事 on pcworld.com
Don't know who the 作者 is, but he's funny.

1. Backward Thinking
"I sold my only car to help pay for gas money, but now gas has come down in price. How do I get my car back?"
I tried to contact this guy, but it turns out that he also sold his computer to help pay for his Internet connection.

2. It's バッジ Lock--Capisce?
"HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPSLOCK? I ACCIDENTALLY TURNED IT ON YESTERDAY AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO TURN IT BACK OFF."
Note to self: Register howtoturnoffcapslock.com; make millions.

3. Credit Crunch
"I wanted to see if my computer would read my...
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added by XxKeithHarkinxX
Source: Google
posted by Sheetal1256
Here are some funny New Year's resolutions for 2012...
I will think of a パスワード other than "password" または "hello".

I will not tell the same story at every get together.

I won't worry so much.

I will cut my hair.

I will grow my hair.

I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits 次 to me again, I'll tell him he stinks!

I will be もっと見る imaginative.

I will not bore my boss によって with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some もっと見る excuses.

I will do less laundry and use もっと見る deodorant.

I will avoid taking a bath whenever...
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Give my regards to broadway. o-O

*Insert epic theme song here*

Alright, I'm pretty sure we all know who Spongebob is. The 表示する was a funny, crazy, and inventive kids 表示する that pretty much EVERYBODY ALIVE has at least heard of.

The 表示する had memorable characters, funny comedy that everyone can enjoy, and.......

CHOCOLAAAAAAAAAATEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! ^____^

But one of my お気に入り parts of the 表示する was the songs, and today we're counting down the best of them!

BECAUSE NOBODY CAN SING BETTER THAN A TALKING SPONGE. ;D

#10. Striped Sweater!

link

Shots fired.

Seriously, this is EASILY the stupidest song on this...
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added by Juilet1234
posted by Usui--takumi
Why was Tigger looking in the bowl??
He was trying to find pooh.
There were three men on an airplane, one of them decides to bring a baby.There is a crash and only three parachutes so they leave the baby behind. When they get to the bottom they hear screaming. They find the baby on the ground. The dad of the baby says, '' How did あなた get down here? ''. The baby replies, '' Me not dumb, me not silly, me hold on to daddy's willy!''
What's black and white, black and white, black and white?
A ペンギン rolling down a hill.
Yo momma so fat, when she jumps her own boobs slap her.
Yo momma so dumb AND fat,...
continue reading...
posted by Shelly_McShelly
Welcome to The Weakest Link.

Here is a very simple little test comprised of four 質問 to determine the level of your intellect. Your 返信 must be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating または wasting time.

And NO CHEATING. On your mark, set....GO!!!

1: あなた are competing in a race, and overtake the runner in 秒 place.
In which position are あなた now?

Answer:

If あなた answered that you're now coming first then you're completely wrong. あなた overtook the 秒 runner and took their place, therefore you're coming second.

For the 次 質問 try not to be so dumb.

2 : If あなた overtake the last...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
a boy was asked によって his teacher to pick some spelling words for his homework. the boy goes ホーム and asks his mum "what's a good spelling word?" and the mother 返信 " Shutup, i'm busy", so he writes it down.
he goes to his dad and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and the dad 返信 "da na na na Batman!" so he writes it down.
next he goes to his older sister and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and she 返信 "yeah yeah" so the boy writes it down.
he goes to his younger sister and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and she 返信 "lollipop, lollipop" so he writes it down.
Finally he goes...
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posted by invadercalliope
•Everyone in this place is unhappy. And since they're unhappy, they're probably looking for someone worse off than they are.
•You know who isn't human? あなた know who isn't human?! PEOPLE LIKE YOU!
•Up to this day, I've never killed a single human.
•You will never see me again.
•I was going to let あなた go; after all, there aren't many of us out there, but you're just such a pain in the ass.
•Please forget about everything.
•Are あなた enjoying this?
Kouta: "I thought we were friends."

Lucy: "We are friends, that's why you're still alive."

Kouta: "You killed my father, Kanae.. and my sister Kanae... For that I will never forgive you."
Lucy: "All this time, I've lived in hope of telling あなた how sorry I am, I've fought armies, just to have this chance, but now, there's nothing I can say that's good enough."

Kurama: "Regret is the domain of those who have earned the right to look back on the past. All I have is shame."
The End
What's your personality type?

Picks/Polls
link, link, link, link, link, link, link, link, link, link
link

(E) Extrovert
-Tend to focus on the outer world of people and the external environment
-Like variety and action
-Often impatient with long, slow jobs
-Are interested in the activities of their work and in how other people do it
-Often act quickly, sometimes without thinking
-Develop ideas によって discussion
-Like to learn new task によって talking it through with someone
-Need to experience the world in order to understand it and thus tend to like action

(I) Introverts
-Focus もっと見る on their own inner world,...
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