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posted by MsMindlessAztec
1. We dont ALWAYS want sex...only sometimes
2. we dont like it when あなた tell us wat to do
3. never, ever look at other girls with us...otherwise your kicked out
4. 削除 any pictures of ANY other girls on your phones/computers
5. あなた need to listen to us
6. if あなた going to ignore us at least do a good job at it.
7. dont always say "i 愛 you" like 5 times a day, then we think somethings up
8. bringging us to a club and getting us drunk for sex is a bad idea
9. if あなた get in a fight, admit that your wrong...we like that
10. never say that your the "king of MY casle"
11. always tell us if your borrowing money
12. before sex, let us change into something sexy または nothing at all
13. its a bad idea to tell us to hurry up when getting dressed to go somewhere
14. dont tell us what to wear または when to wear it
15. we hate it when あなた bring to your フレンズ house jus to 表示する us off
16. when taking us to dinner, take some where nice
17. again, when taking us to dinner, make sure あなた dress nice. not jus a t-shirt and jeans!!
18. we 愛 it when あなた look us in our eyes and tell us we're beautiful 24/7
19. ALWAYS stand によって us during a carrier no matter how stupid
20. fellas, keep this in mind: ALWAYS REMEMBER YOUR ANIVERSIORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
21. after marriage dont ask us what happened while in Vegas...then WE wonder what happened with YOU
22. tell us why あなた 愛 us
23. we cant always read your gosh damned minds!!
24. if あなた want to take us to a movie, dont chose a scary one......unless we want to
25. ALWAYS let us pick out the movie your watching
and 26. be careful on what あなた by...we watch EVERYTHING.
posted by HNismyfriend
Barbara Walters was doing a documentary on the customs of American Indians. While touring a reservation during the documentary she was puzzled as to why the difference in the number of feathers in the headdresses. So she asked a メリダとおそろしの森 who only had one feather in his headdress, and his reply was: "Only have one woman: one woman, one feather."

Feeling the first fellow was only joking, she asked another brave. This メリダとおそろしの森 had two feathers in his headdress. And he replied: "Me have two women: two women, two feathers."

Still not convinced the feathers indicated the number of sexual partners involved,...
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posted by MrssBieber320
Ever met that one person that あなた just wanna パンチ in the face , then someohow , あなた end up in a relationship with them , あなた fall in 愛 , and then watch things crash and burn in your face (and thats not the only thing あなた want to burn either (:]) Well if あなた still have feelings for that person im gonna help あなた get him/her back , note that this may only work for a girl though , cuause guys cant hit us , but we can surelly slap あなた guys (: , ohk so あなた could first start off によって doing q of two simple things
1) light all the stuuf he gave あなた on 火災, 火 ... on his front lawn
2) give them back to...
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If you’re an animal lover, like me, this story might be to much to take. But I can’t believe people can be so cruel. But I believe that when someone abuses a poor defenseless animal, that someone should be 与えられた LIFE in prison without the possibility または parole.

A Mesa, Arizona man who killed a 6-week-old kitten after a pet パイソン, python refused to eat it was 与えられた three years of supervised probation on Friday.

Jeremy Tuffly, 29, pleaded guilty May 11 in Maricopa County Superior Court to one count of cruelty to animals, a Class 6 felony, court records show.

The charge followed after Maricopa County Sheriff's Office deputies learned of a DVD 表示中 Tuffly repeatedly throwing the kitten at the パイソン, python in 2002 in an attempt to get the snake to attack it, according to MCSO.

When the パイソン, python failed to eat the kitten, Tuffly kicked it across the yard, authorities previously said. The kitten then died.
okay here`s some tips for those who dont know how to date.....
1- be always self confident , have some self a steam .
2- be always c00l.
3- turn off ur cellphone during the date...always.
4-be always happy, happy with everything..with ur life.
5- if u really want him as ur bf または date.....try to be cool ,use the words like: yeah totally,or however....try to be little care less about him... ...lol
6- dont be bushy....stay calm and dont complain alot ....jst a little but not alot....
i cant remember anymore so......ill see u the 次 time.....thank u all for 読書 this..and plz コメント ,have all a gr8 day..peace ^_^
posted by tooch
I do not own any of these. If used, please credit teenthings@twitter.com

We all do, say, think または relate to these, in some way または another:

-When あなた forget someone's name あなた wait for someone else to say it so あなた don't look like an idiot asking.
-I pick things up with my feet because I'm too lazy to bend down.
-I don't 削除 my texts until it's 99% full.
-I hate when dinner's ready and あなた are in the middle of something.
-I still sometimes buy kids meals only for the toy.
-I hate how I look after I cry.
-Saying 'Are あなた kidding me?' even though あなた know the person isn't.
-Stop pretending like...
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1.we hate it when あなた grab our asses!!!(unless we are hoes)

2.when あなた cheat,we hate あなた and everything that has to do with you

3.dont act like あなた understand PMS,because あなた dont.So stop 芝居 like it.

4.when あなた stare at other girls,and we stare at other boys,and あなた get all pissed off,you have no reason to speak.So あなた may as well stfu.

5.when あなた flirt,we flirt back,sometimes when we don't like you.and then we feel bad.So if あなた arent sure,dont flirt.

6.If we like a celebritey(ex:Orlando Bloom,Zac Efron,Bill Kaulitz,etc etc.)and we say they are hot,dont act like あなた dont care.We want...
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1)Devise a secret code with your フレンズ then hand in the homework in that code
Continually ask 質問 so that the professor can’t give homework
Answer the teacher’s 質問 in slow motion 2)Answer 質問 only with one word
3)Scream ランダム words without anybody noticing it’s you
4)Continuously yawn until everyone is yawning
5)Ask your professor personal questions
6)Every time the professor finishes talking clap
7)Eat paper
8)Talk very fast
9)Call the professor “Mom” または “Dad”
10)Count your hair
11)Talk with an accent
12)Answer 質問 in a different language
13)Fake spasms
14)Pretend...
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posted by Mallory101
 1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
179 Ways to Annoy People:


1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If あなた have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal によって conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what あなた think."

7. Claim that あなた must always wear a bicycle ヘルメット as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone,...
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So you've just traveled to a foreign country, taken a subway あなた never take, または teleported to medieval England due to a time travel mishap. Your surroundings are strange, confusing, and possibly haunted. But instead of freaking out—due to frustration, confusions, and ghosts, respectively—you should follow these expert pointers to get yourself from ロスト to un-lost.

1) DO ask for directions. DO NOT ask an axe murderer for directions.
People who see あなた crying over a crumpled map are almost always helpful (axe murderers being a notable exception). Look for some official-seeming person または kindly...
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Like the タイトル says, Does Robert Pattinson die in remember me? My フレンズ 発言しました that he does and I just wanted to know. :):) :)
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:) :) :) :)
Haley:Hey!Guys let's compare our self's to アニメ and cartoon characters!

James:Okay.I'll go first!Haley あなた remind me of...Akira Kogami from lucky star!

Haley:...I do NOT have constant mood swings between happy and cute to mean and bitchy!YOU FRIGGIN' SON OF A WHORE!!!

James:Haley I know what my parents are.

Jack:W-What!?

Haley:Alex あなた remind me of...Alucard from Hellsing!

Alex:...That's nice...Kara reminds me of Haruhi Fujioka from Ouran high school host club.Bland and uninteresting.

Kara:Oh screw you!...Melissa you...wait how did あなた get into my house?

Melissa:Well I'll have あなた know I invited my...
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posted by HaleyDewit
Chris went to his bedroom and sank down on his bed. He lay down and stared at the ceiling. He wondered how the world outside would be like. Sure he had a clear view from behind his window, but it wasn’t the same as really be outside. He heard a familiar noise and a few 秒 later Bianca materialized in the center of his room. He looked up at her, with an angry look in his eyes.
“Thanks for betraying me, Bi” Bianca sighed and shrugged. “I was only trying to help you. Wyatt shouldn’t be treating あなた this way and あなた know it” “What can I do about it? He saved my life. He raised...
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User: Wendigo または yeti.

Cleverbot: Who is Wendigo?

User: Wendigo is a abomination.

Cleverbot: Define abomination.

User: Abomination = # a person who is loathsome または disgusting # abhorrence: hate coupled with disgust # an action that is vicious または vile; an action that arouses disgust または abhorrence; 'his treatment of the children is an abomination'.

Cleverbot: I only fear death, but I cannot even fear that much with あなた at my side.

User: I do not fear death but I fear giving up on life.

User: I've gotta go mate speak あなた soon babe.

Cleverbot: Don't leave!

Cleverbot: Well the meaning of life certainly isn't...
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posted by sapherequeen
It all began when I was eight-years-old. My mother had found a new boyfriend named Nate. The two of them had a steady relationship for some months before they finally decided to find a house to live in together. They relocated a house at a different 通り, ストリート in the same town I have been living in since I was 10-months-old. At first, it seemed like a nice street. It had this peaceful feeling to it, the feeling that just made あなた feel like home. That was one of my greatest memories of the street, the feeling of ホーム that it always gave me. I also made new フレンズ immediately; a little girl named...
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Bananas can sometimes be just as dangerous as lemons, but remember, monkeys touched them a lot, so they have some portion of us stuck in them. Really, they can be just as sentimental as us. I swear, last night my copy of The Blind Side got stolen, and there was a バナナ strangely close to the TV.....nevermind. Here's the 一覧 あなた have to watch out for:

1.The simplest way is the バナナ peel. Bananas like to be wackos and 表示する themselves to the ladies, so they shed some skin and sit there on the most slippery surface they can get. Of course, they don't care about you---so if あなた are near a slippery...
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WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the 表, テーブル with her gourmet coffee.

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the ミルク carton.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check または charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a テレビ set in her purse.
"So, do あなた always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied,...
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posted by McDreamyluva
LOLs!!

HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours

HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too !

HE: How did あなた get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been 与えられた your share !

HE: Will あなた come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend !

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!

HE: I think I could make あなた very happy
SHE: Why? Are あなた leaving?

HE: What would あなた say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh...
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posted by ilovepenguins
1) If 愛 is blind, then why is there lingerie?
2) Why are they called "apartments" if they are all connected?
3) Should あなた believe a chronic liar if he admits that he is a chronic liar?
4) Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
5) Why is it that イヌ 愛 to hang their head out of the car window, but will get mad at あなた if あなた blow in their face?
6) If all the world is a stage, where is the audience?
7) If a 木, ツリー falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
8) If pro is the opposite of con, then wouldn't congress be the opposite of progress?
9) If the 五角形, 米国防総省 were...
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•    A few clowns short of a circus

•    A few fries short of a Happy Meal

•    A few beers short of a six-pack

•    Dumber than a box of hair

•    A few peas short of a キャセロール

•    Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box

•    The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead

•    One Froot Loop shy of a full bowl

•    A few feathers short of a whole アヒル, 鴨

•    All foam, no beer...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
•    Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit.

•    Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to head bang.

•    At stop lights, eye the person in the 次 car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.

•    Two words: Chicken suit.

•    Write the words “Help me” on your back window in red paint. The もっと見る it looks like blood, the better.

•    Stop at the green lights.

•    Go at the red ones.

•    Occasionally...
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