Found this on www.funny.com. I find a lot of things there that I post...
A manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The 日 came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, 'What is the fastest thing あなた know of?'
The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head. There's no warning.
'That's very good!' replied the interviewer. 'And, now あなた sir?', he asked the 秒 man.
'Hmmm...let me see 'A blink! It comes and goes and あなた don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of.'
'Excellent!' 発言しました the interviewer. 'The blink of an eye, that's a very 人気 cliché for speed.' He then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.
'Well, out at my dad's ranch, あなた step out of the house and on the ウォール there's a light switch. When あなた flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the 納屋 comes on in less than an instant. 'Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of'.
The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. 'It's hard to beat the speed of light,' he said.
Turning to BUBBA, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.
Old Bubba replied, 'After hearing the 前 three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA.'
'WHAT!?' 発言しました the interviewer, stunned によって the response.
'Oh sure', 発言しました BUBBA. 'You see, the other 日 I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, または TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already s**t my pants.'
BUBBA is now the new greeter at a Wal-Mart near you!
A manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The 日 came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, 'What is the fastest thing あなた know of?'
The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head. There's no warning.
'That's very good!' replied the interviewer. 'And, now あなた sir?', he asked the 秒 man.
'Hmmm...let me see 'A blink! It comes and goes and あなた don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of.'
'Excellent!' 発言しました the interviewer. 'The blink of an eye, that's a very 人気 cliché for speed.' He then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.
'Well, out at my dad's ranch, あなた step out of the house and on the ウォール there's a light switch. When あなた flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the 納屋 comes on in less than an instant. 'Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of'.
The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. 'It's hard to beat the speed of light,' he said.
Turning to BUBBA, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.
Old Bubba replied, 'After hearing the 前 three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA.'
'WHAT!?' 発言しました the interviewer, stunned によって the response.
'Oh sure', 発言しました BUBBA. 'You see, the other 日 I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, または TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already s**t my pants.'
BUBBA is now the new greeter at a Wal-Mart near you!
1. Run up a down escalator naked
2. Walk into the middle of 2 gangs about to fight and sing michael jacksons beat it
3. Fart really loudly in a crowded elevator
4. Walk into a biker bar and sing Mocho Man または YMCA
5. パンチ someone in the face for no reason
6. Drive through detroit with rucka rucka ali's 'Detroit' Blaring through a speaker on 上, ページのトップへ of my car
7. Do the tour de france on a motorbike and パンチ all the cyclers
8. rugby tackle someone of a tall building
9. BIG STRANGER RODEO!!!!!!!
10. Steal a doctors stepha-thingy and pretend to examine him
11. Walk into a church dressed as ジーザス または Chuck Norris and shout "i am the lord god"
2. Walk into the middle of 2 gangs about to fight and sing michael jacksons beat it
3. Fart really loudly in a crowded elevator
4. Walk into a biker bar and sing Mocho Man または YMCA
5. パンチ someone in the face for no reason
6. Drive through detroit with rucka rucka ali's 'Detroit' Blaring through a speaker on 上, ページのトップへ of my car
7. Do the tour de france on a motorbike and パンチ all the cyclers
8. rugby tackle someone of a tall building
9. BIG STRANGER RODEO!!!!!!!
10. Steal a doctors stepha-thingy and pretend to examine him
11. Walk into a church dressed as ジーザス または Chuck Norris and shout "i am the lord god"
1. Walk up to a ランダム person, grab both their shoulders, look into their eyes and say, "I feel bad for you, son."
2. Walk up to a ランダム person, then point to another person and whisper loud enough for the person あなた are pointing at to hear, "That guy seriously has issues for him to work out."
3. Walk up to a ランダム person the same gender as あなた and say, "Yes! I like your movements!" または "You're as tight as fuck!" Especially if it's an adult with little children.
4. In a place where there are a lot of people, point to a ランダム man's dick and yell out, "There's a raccoon! Natures ninjas! Oh shiiittt!"
5. Just walk up to a person don't even know and say, "You again!? Meh, it's your life."
2. Walk up to a ランダム person, then point to another person and whisper loud enough for the person あなた are pointing at to hear, "That guy seriously has issues for him to work out."
3. Walk up to a ランダム person the same gender as あなた and say, "Yes! I like your movements!" または "You're as tight as fuck!" Especially if it's an adult with little children.
4. In a place where there are a lot of people, point to a ランダム man's dick and yell out, "There's a raccoon! Natures ninjas! Oh shiiittt!"
5. Just walk up to a person don't even know and say, "You again!? Meh, it's your life."
1. Everytime あなた read Twilight, a kitten is born :D
2. If あなた are obbsessed with mythical creatures, read Twilight!
3. If your life is all sad and gloomy, read Twilight!
4. If your completely bored, why not read Twilight!
5. ITS JUST AWESOME!!!!!! well to me and all the other Twilighters out there :D
PLEASE NO BAD COMMENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. If あなた are obbsessed with mythical creatures, read Twilight!
3. If your life is all sad and gloomy, read Twilight!
4. If your completely bored, why not read Twilight!
5. ITS JUST AWESOME!!!!!! well to me and all the other Twilighters out there :D
PLEASE NO BAD COMMENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!