We were walking through the mall almost about maybe, 20 feet from the door. He hadn't 発言しました a word to me since the whole Jose thing half an 時 ago. Matthew was purposely walking behind me, though only a few feet away, still I wanted him at my side. I stopped and looked back at him. He was stopped his walk with his head down. I walked over to the side of him. I reached for his hand that was poking out if his pocket. Then he did the most crazy thing I think Ive ever seen. He actually stepped back so i wouldn't touch him. He seemed to think it was funny, または maybe it was my startled face that gave him that little snicker he thought I couldn't here.
I followed his step and reached out to grab his hair this time, again he moved, but this time it was a step forward. I heard him laugh again. This time he did it loud enough to where I could hear. I walked to the side of him, but he knew I was already reaching for him によって the time I got there so he moved a step back. Grr. It was frustrating now, but I couldn't deny it....it was pretty fun. This whole back and forth thing went on for another 3 rounds until I just could not take it anymore.
"Matty." Yes, I pulled out the 子犬 dog eyes and the whiny girl voice. It was ridiculous that it had to come to that but he knew just as much as I did, he could not resist the voice. Especially because I called him Matty. I was the only and i mean only one who was allowed to call him this. So when I 発言しました it, it made it special. In this case, it helped me win.
For the first time since the ice rink he looked at me. He had that vulnerable look. Matthew just could not stay mad at me.
I went up to him. Slowly, I tucked some of his behind his ear.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know what I was thinking, and he was being a total jerk..." i was starting to babble when he hushed me with a quick kiss.
"It's okay love. That wasn't your fault."
"But It seems like it!" I tried to not be whiny.
"Listen. I'm sorry If I made あなた feel like it was all your fault.... i 愛 you."
I really did feel my ハート, 心 melt.
"No, I 愛 you." I saw him smile for the first in an hour; though it seemed like forever to me.
"Happy Anniversary love." Eyes just glittered like the ocean and his voice flowed like the waves. I kissed him sweetly. Then he reached out for my hand this time and kissed it. We walked out of the mall like nothing had ever happened.
Matthew opened my car door for me and insisted that he close it. Got in. Started the car and drove off into what happened to be early evening sunset. We pulled up to his house and saw that his brother had company over. When we walked in we saw them snuggled up on the ソファー, ソファ so we just went upstairs. We walked into Matt's room. It was fairly clean. And fairly clean to Matthew was like Mr.Clean clean to everybody else. Matthew just was not a messy person. His ベッド was made to where あなた could do that thing where あなた would bounce a coin on the ベッド and it bounce back. His clothes were all folded and almost everything was in order. It is almost impossible to find a clean 靴下 in a teenager's room let alone a whole closet. He just was not normal....but...I think that is what I 愛 most about him.
I went and sat on his perfectly neat bed. He took over his ジャケット and hung it in his closet. I saw him look at his stereo. Then I saw his smile.
"You wanna dance?" I heard the hope in his voice but i also heard the scare.
"Dance??? Like slow dance?"
"Yeah. あなた know how to don't you?"
I felt my self blush.
"No...."
"Well, I can teach then, if あなた want.?"
"Umm..Okay." I was nervous that I would hurt him in my attempt to actually dance with him. he started the slow song. He didn't put it very loud so I couldn't hear what the actual song was. For 秒 it seemed like he floated towards me, he took my hand and grabbed my waist. I guess he was a little nervous too because his pulse gave him away. He took a deep breath.
"Umm Jaz, あなた gotta move."
I had forgotten that we were dancing when I looked into his eyes. They seemed to be glittering with happiness. I felt like such a dork.
I finally started moving with him.
"Ouch." First time I stepped on his foot.
"Ah,I'm sorry."
"Its okay. i prepared for a few of those." That made me feel worse because he even knew I was gonna suck at dancing.
I stepped on his toes a few もっと見る times and then I finally got the hang of it. Slowly I started to float around just as he did. It was quite beautiful. I rested my head on his shoulder and began to close my eyes. It definitely felt like a dream but I knew he was too real to be a dream. Our 愛 was too real.
I followed his step and reached out to grab his hair this time, again he moved, but this time it was a step forward. I heard him laugh again. This time he did it loud enough to where I could hear. I walked to the side of him, but he knew I was already reaching for him によって the time I got there so he moved a step back. Grr. It was frustrating now, but I couldn't deny it....it was pretty fun. This whole back and forth thing went on for another 3 rounds until I just could not take it anymore.
"Matty." Yes, I pulled out the 子犬 dog eyes and the whiny girl voice. It was ridiculous that it had to come to that but he knew just as much as I did, he could not resist the voice. Especially because I called him Matty. I was the only and i mean only one who was allowed to call him this. So when I 発言しました it, it made it special. In this case, it helped me win.
For the first time since the ice rink he looked at me. He had that vulnerable look. Matthew just could not stay mad at me.
I went up to him. Slowly, I tucked some of his behind his ear.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know what I was thinking, and he was being a total jerk..." i was starting to babble when he hushed me with a quick kiss.
"It's okay love. That wasn't your fault."
"But It seems like it!" I tried to not be whiny.
"Listen. I'm sorry If I made あなた feel like it was all your fault.... i 愛 you."
I really did feel my ハート, 心 melt.
"No, I 愛 you." I saw him smile for the first in an hour; though it seemed like forever to me.
"Happy Anniversary love." Eyes just glittered like the ocean and his voice flowed like the waves. I kissed him sweetly. Then he reached out for my hand this time and kissed it. We walked out of the mall like nothing had ever happened.
Matthew opened my car door for me and insisted that he close it. Got in. Started the car and drove off into what happened to be early evening sunset. We pulled up to his house and saw that his brother had company over. When we walked in we saw them snuggled up on the ソファー, ソファ so we just went upstairs. We walked into Matt's room. It was fairly clean. And fairly clean to Matthew was like Mr.Clean clean to everybody else. Matthew just was not a messy person. His ベッド was made to where あなた could do that thing where あなた would bounce a coin on the ベッド and it bounce back. His clothes were all folded and almost everything was in order. It is almost impossible to find a clean 靴下 in a teenager's room let alone a whole closet. He just was not normal....but...I think that is what I 愛 most about him.
I went and sat on his perfectly neat bed. He took over his ジャケット and hung it in his closet. I saw him look at his stereo. Then I saw his smile.
"You wanna dance?" I heard the hope in his voice but i also heard the scare.
"Dance??? Like slow dance?"
"Yeah. あなた know how to don't you?"
I felt my self blush.
"No...."
"Well, I can teach then, if あなた want.?"
"Umm..Okay." I was nervous that I would hurt him in my attempt to actually dance with him. he started the slow song. He didn't put it very loud so I couldn't hear what the actual song was. For 秒 it seemed like he floated towards me, he took my hand and grabbed my waist. I guess he was a little nervous too because his pulse gave him away. He took a deep breath.
"Umm Jaz, あなた gotta move."
I had forgotten that we were dancing when I looked into his eyes. They seemed to be glittering with happiness. I felt like such a dork.
I finally started moving with him.
"Ouch." First time I stepped on his foot.
"Ah,I'm sorry."
"Its okay. i prepared for a few of those." That made me feel worse because he even knew I was gonna suck at dancing.
I stepped on his toes a few もっと見る times and then I finally got the hang of it. Slowly I started to float around just as he did. It was quite beautiful. I rested my head on his shoulder and began to close my eyes. It definitely felt like a dream but I knew he was too real to be a dream. Our 愛 was too real.
I deny the truth,
But really,
That is nothing.
I do that just to protect myself.
I cannot let the truth overcome me
All at once,
I must let it come at me
Pieces によって pieces.
The truth is always shocking,
At many times sad.
But I must accept the truth
Even after a while.
Because denying the truth
Is like lying to myself
Denying the truth hurts my soul
But it also protects my soul at the same time.
I don't know what to believe.
It's all too shocking for me.
I deny the truth.
I protect my soul.
I protect myself.
But I also hurt myself.
But really,
That is nothing.
I do that just to protect myself.
I cannot let the truth overcome me
All at once,
I must let it come at me
Pieces によって pieces.
The truth is always shocking,
At many times sad.
But I must accept the truth
Even after a while.
Because denying the truth
Is like lying to myself
Denying the truth hurts my soul
But it also protects my soul at the same time.
I don't know what to believe.
It's all too shocking for me.
I deny the truth.
I protect my soul.
I protect myself.
But I also hurt myself.
Why, do things have to be so hard
In life?
Why can't things be easy
And everyone could just enjoy
Their short lives.
Betrayed
によって an old friend
によって an old boyfriend
It feels like the whole world
Has gone on the enemy's side
Why do things have to be so complicated?
Tears are rolling down my cheek
As life goes on,
That's what I do.
Because I feel unused, unhelpful, abandoned.
Life goes on
And even though I try
To shrug off the troubles I have had in the past,
Smiling,
Inside, I am extremely hurt
Stabbed によって my own friends
I am deserted
Even though I smile
I am hurt
I am betrayed.
In life?
Why can't things be easy
And everyone could just enjoy
Their short lives.
Betrayed
によって an old friend
によって an old boyfriend
It feels like the whole world
Has gone on the enemy's side
Why do things have to be so complicated?
Tears are rolling down my cheek
As life goes on,
That's what I do.
Because I feel unused, unhelpful, abandoned.
Life goes on
And even though I try
To shrug off the troubles I have had in the past,
Smiling,
Inside, I am extremely hurt
Stabbed によって my own friends
I am deserted
Even though I smile
I am hurt
I am betrayed.
I just started going on the path where my life had no light. I missed everyone from our school who graduated, and I really had many amazing フレンズ there. フレンズ who gave me memories that lasted forever...friends who helped me out when things got bad...friends who were always there for me. I know, however, that they will always continue to be in my heart, even as they went away from me. If they never come back, they will still have left hand prints on my ハート, 心 that will never be washed away. Life without the light makes me feel so lonely...like a vagabond on the streets with no home...like an eagle with no prey...like me with no one to cry with. However sad this situation I find myself in...I still know that life will go on...and I must continue to strive to be the best I can be. Even without the warmth of my フレンズ close by, I know that they will always be によって my side even if they are not with me. All my フレンズ are the light in my life.