#1:
Chris/Ghostface: So anyways, I was saying, what's your favorito! scary movie?
Sam (Chris' fiancée): Well, the scariest is certainly Dragonball Evolution.
Chris/Ghostface: あなた EVER MENTION THAT FILM AGAIN, I'LL CUT YOUR THROAT, あなた LITTLE BITCH!
[...]
(Sam hangs up, believing this all to be a dumb joke)
Chris/Ghostface: That girl made me think of Dragonball Evolution. SHE'S GOING TO DIE!!!
#2:
"So we're watching the movie and things are happening and WHAT THE FUCK IS MICHAEL CAINE DOING IN THIS MOVIE?!"
#3:
"Oh thanks for the stupid ball, Grandpa. Thanks a lot. I appreciate it. Hey, can あなた tell me about this girl thing? I don't know. Can あなた give me some condoms? I need some condoms, okay, Grandpa? I really wanna fuck Chi-Chi. Is that okay? I just need some condoms. Fuck this dumb dragon ball. Sorry! I just wanna go fuck. Is that all right with you?"
#4:
Chris's reaction about how movie 孫 悟空 has to find all the dragon balls before the eclipse occurs.
Chris: What does that fucking have to do with anything?!
#5:
Chris: If I came back from, like, a store または something, and I found cop cars outside the house, I guarantee that the first thing out of my mouth would not be: (deadpan) "Whoa. What is going on?"
#6:
"Hey, hon, remember at the beginning of the 年 when I 発言しました I was going to try and see as many films as I could regardless of how crappy they looked? Yeah, can あなた go back in time and kill me?"
#7:
"The best part of this movie is the first ten 分 where あなた see some funny cat 動画 pulled off of YouTube. It's the best part of the movie! Everything else is total SHIT!!!"
#8:
"I wouldn't even call this film Aliens vs. Predator. más like Shadows vs. Silhouettes...because あなた can't see A DAMN FUCKING THING!"
#9:
Chris: (as monotone as possible, after guzzling down wine) Welcome to my review of The Emoji Movie. (Turns his head, camera shifts) I have proof. (raises ticket, slowly crumbles it up, turns head back around) The Emoji Movie is about the "meh" emoji and how he has other expressions besides "meh". And... today... I went and saw it. And... it... SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKED!
#10:
"They have to get to Dropbox, did あなた hear that come of my mouth? It came out of my mouth... (cringes) Dropbox is... an important plot point... in this FUCKING MOVIE!!"
#11:
Chris: After that we actually get a flashback. TO THE SCENE WE JUST SAW!!
#12:
Chris!Kid: I wanna be like him! こんにちは mommy, can I 登録する the バスケットボール, バスケット ボール team? 'Cause look at that guy, he's so cool!
Chris!Mom: You're five years old, shut the fuck up, kid.
Chris!Kid: Hey! あなた can't say those words to me! I wanna be like the cool guys!
Chris!Mom: Yeah well, you've got no talent.
Chris!Kid: Well that's okay, 'cause my 映画 make their budget back!
Chris!Mom: Why are あなた saying あなた make movies? You're five years old!
Chris!Kid: Shut up mommy, I'm a directuuurrr—
#14:
WASN'T THAT JUST BALLS OUT AWESOME?!
#15:
"And when they get the cat, when they bring her home.. they just.. Let her free.. Your suppose to 表示する her around, tell her what's what, and than let her loose.. But they just.. Let her loose.. And are actually shocked that Kevin Spacey, as this cat, took a piss on the carpet.. And they don't even feed it, like, they feed it the 次 day, like the forgot oh, right, your a cat, あなた need 食 and water.. And they put the food, right 次 to the litter box.. Like, right 次 it… WHAT THE FUCK!!.. あなた don't put the litter box right によって the food, 'cause when the cat does this (makes digging motions) when she's taking a shit, it's going to get all in her 食 and water! So fuck stupid!! What the fuck happened with this movie?! I hate it! I hate this movie! And that's just one logical problem and that's just because I'm a cat owner and I 愛 cats, and what the fuck?!"
#16:
"If あなた got a really good director of photography, and あなた went out to the street, and あなた found a pile of ラット shit, he could probably light that very well and perhaps shoot it with an interesting angle. But it's still ラット shit."
#17;
"Hey, あなた know that really interesting and original script we got in today?...Yeah, throw that out, we're gonna make Sex Tape."
Chris/Ghostface: So anyways, I was saying, what's your favorito! scary movie?
Sam (Chris' fiancée): Well, the scariest is certainly Dragonball Evolution.
Chris/Ghostface: あなた EVER MENTION THAT FILM AGAIN, I'LL CUT YOUR THROAT, あなた LITTLE BITCH!
[...]
(Sam hangs up, believing this all to be a dumb joke)
Chris/Ghostface: That girl made me think of Dragonball Evolution. SHE'S GOING TO DIE!!!
#2:
"So we're watching the movie and things are happening and WHAT THE FUCK IS MICHAEL CAINE DOING IN THIS MOVIE?!"
#3:
"Oh thanks for the stupid ball, Grandpa. Thanks a lot. I appreciate it. Hey, can あなた tell me about this girl thing? I don't know. Can あなた give me some condoms? I need some condoms, okay, Grandpa? I really wanna fuck Chi-Chi. Is that okay? I just need some condoms. Fuck this dumb dragon ball. Sorry! I just wanna go fuck. Is that all right with you?"
#4:
Chris's reaction about how movie 孫 悟空 has to find all the dragon balls before the eclipse occurs.
Chris: What does that fucking have to do with anything?!
#5:
Chris: If I came back from, like, a store または something, and I found cop cars outside the house, I guarantee that the first thing out of my mouth would not be: (deadpan) "Whoa. What is going on?"
#6:
"Hey, hon, remember at the beginning of the 年 when I 発言しました I was going to try and see as many films as I could regardless of how crappy they looked? Yeah, can あなた go back in time and kill me?"
#7:
"The best part of this movie is the first ten 分 where あなた see some funny cat 動画 pulled off of YouTube. It's the best part of the movie! Everything else is total SHIT!!!"
#8:
"I wouldn't even call this film Aliens vs. Predator. más like Shadows vs. Silhouettes...because あなた can't see A DAMN FUCKING THING!"
#9:
Chris: (as monotone as possible, after guzzling down wine) Welcome to my review of The Emoji Movie. (Turns his head, camera shifts) I have proof. (raises ticket, slowly crumbles it up, turns head back around) The Emoji Movie is about the "meh" emoji and how he has other expressions besides "meh". And... today... I went and saw it. And... it... SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKED!
#10:
"They have to get to Dropbox, did あなた hear that come of my mouth? It came out of my mouth... (cringes) Dropbox is... an important plot point... in this FUCKING MOVIE!!"
#11:
Chris: After that we actually get a flashback. TO THE SCENE WE JUST SAW!!
#12:
Chris!Kid: I wanna be like him! こんにちは mommy, can I 登録する the バスケットボール, バスケット ボール team? 'Cause look at that guy, he's so cool!
Chris!Mom: You're five years old, shut the fuck up, kid.
Chris!Kid: Hey! あなた can't say those words to me! I wanna be like the cool guys!
Chris!Mom: Yeah well, you've got no talent.
Chris!Kid: Well that's okay, 'cause my 映画 make their budget back!
Chris!Mom: Why are あなた saying あなた make movies? You're five years old!
Chris!Kid: Shut up mommy, I'm a directuuurrr—
#14:
WASN'T THAT JUST BALLS OUT AWESOME?!
#15:
"And when they get the cat, when they bring her home.. they just.. Let her free.. Your suppose to 表示する her around, tell her what's what, and than let her loose.. But they just.. Let her loose.. And are actually shocked that Kevin Spacey, as this cat, took a piss on the carpet.. And they don't even feed it, like, they feed it the 次 day, like the forgot oh, right, your a cat, あなた need 食 and water.. And they put the food, right 次 to the litter box.. Like, right 次 it… WHAT THE FUCK!!.. あなた don't put the litter box right によって the food, 'cause when the cat does this (makes digging motions) when she's taking a shit, it's going to get all in her 食 and water! So fuck stupid!! What the fuck happened with this movie?! I hate it! I hate this movie! And that's just one logical problem and that's just because I'm a cat owner and I 愛 cats, and what the fuck?!"
#16:
"If あなた got a really good director of photography, and あなた went out to the street, and あなた found a pile of ラット shit, he could probably light that very well and perhaps shoot it with an interesting angle. But it's still ラット shit."
#17;
"Hey, あなた know that really interesting and original script we got in today?...Yeah, throw that out, we're gonna make Sex Tape."