How is it going, everyone. Welcome back to Watching Outside Your Xbox Window While あなた Rant at Night. I’m your host, TatsMojo, and today, we’ll be taking a look at the strangest video games that あなた have never heard of. Number 10: Katamari Damacy. This strange little gem was made on the weird side of the world, Japan. You’ve probably never heard of this (What the fuck am I doing?)
In all seriousness, when I hear about these weird games and the whole, “What were these developers doing? Snorting LSD and drinking PSP and doing funny weed?” is a mindset that just screams that あなた really don’t care and try to evaluate the property you’re looking at. Even the weirdest kinds of games out there, like Katamari Damacy, Killer7, and others of the same category of fucking nuts have a reason to the madness, a sort of point to the insanity. Be it to build the world, be it to make a point in a sort of exaggerated manner, または just to create a unique world that has some method to the madness. Unless あなた make something for the sake of 表示中 off insane visuals for the sake of insane visuals, there’s usually もっと見る to something than just the creators being on all the drugs. I think any ファン of rock 音楽 from the 70s and 80s knows how annoying it can be. And today's game is no exception to the crazy, wacky, nutso world of Chulip. There is a point to this oddity, and I want to 表示する it to あなた all. But this game is a game that has driven me and may drive many others to the brink of madness, and not because of the weird concept. We’ll get into why down the road.
Chulip was a strange little game made によって the now defunct Punchline, made up of staff from the also now defunct Love-de-Lic Inc.. Love-de-Lic was known mostly for the game Moon: RPG Remix, a game that was Japanese exclusive for a long time before recently getting an English port to the Switch. It was mostly known here as being one of the earliest of the もっと見る meta narrative JRPG games and was one of the inspirations for the game Undertale. They also made games like UFO: A 日 in the Life and LOL: Lack of Love. However, the studio would disband in 2000 and スプリット, 分割 into three other studios. Those being Skip Ltd., responsible for the Chibi-Robo games on Gamecube. Vanpool Inc., who work on 任天堂 games, the most 最近 one being Kirby Fighters 2, also responsible for those fucking weird 日本 only Tingle games. And last, Punchline, with only two games under their belt. Today's game, Chulip. And the forever illusive horror game, Rule of Rose. Aside from Rule of Rose being banned in ヨーロッパ for the extreme graphic material that it had, Chulip didn’t exactly get much chance either. The game spent four years in delay for it’s American release. Chulip released in 日本 on October 3rd, 2002. But it didn’t come out in America until February 13th, 2007. And not only that, it was a Gamestop Exclusive game. Oooh, あなた were just destined to die. Along with it being extremely Japanese in an American market, along with being met with scathing reviews from critics on release, this game stood no chance. It’s no wonder why of the three studios mentioned, Skip, Vanpool, and Punchline, the only one to perish was Punchline. If not thanks for Natsume, the team behind the Harvest Moon games, I don’t think Chulip would ever come out at all. And was the wait worth it. Yes!... No… Maybe… I honestly don’t know. And によって the end, I hope, あなた will also not know.
The game takes place in a fictional Japanese countryside town called Long Life Town. あなた play as a young boy, not cannonly name, so for the sake of convenience, let’s name him Shu. So Shu moves into this town with his single dad into a poverty ridden house at the back end of the town, and is already hit with judgemental eyes from the neighbors for being so goddamn poor. But our young boy Shu gets a dream of a girl in it, his very own dream babe. And turns out, the babe in his dream is an actual real life resident of the town. But Shu is a coward and hasn’t the ハート, 心 to キッス her. But with the help of an actual goblin that lives underground, Shu is on a mission to get to the girls ハート, 心 によって gaining confidence によって キス other residents of the town and getting the experience he needs to woo her. Complete with all the fun things like zombie lolita girls, a prison factory, ダンプスター, ゴミ箱, 収集 diving, alcoolism, police committing hate crimes, and more. It’s not all fun and games here in Long Life Town. Immediately, I was sucked into the weirdness of this game the 秒 I started. All the characters have these exaggerated expressions that give them a sort of muppet style to them. It’s simplistic, but it gives them this sort of play doll look and I find their exaggerated designs really charming. I 愛 this big mouth on our boy Shu here. He looks so shocked at just every minor thing and seeing his reactions of joy to just fishing potatoes out of the fucking trash can for 食 is quite charming. I approve of this as a fellow potato fucker. There’s もっと見る strange designs to be found throughout. The Policeman having this giant, almost robotic head that moves back and forth like some machine. The teachers being disguised as oil barrels, stop signs, and telephone poles having to maneuver in such a way of their, for lack of a better term, disability. I really like the shopkeeper outside the store. He has this spinning head that has two expressions, a grump cigarette and book seller outside, but when あなた go into the train, he rushes from the stand to the ticket booth and turns into a もっと見る charming demeanor. I wish もっと見る games had this sort of charm with their merchants nowadays. I guess with Undetale having so many fun shopkeepers, it keeps that spirit alive. Toby 狐, フォックス really was inspired によって Yoshiro Kimura, it seems (That’s the creator of the game, によって the way). Another thing I find really charming is the settings of the place. The area is located near a country side, so あなた gotta take trains from place to place, which is really atmospheric (At first, but we’ll get to that in a bit). あなた have a set number of places to go to. Worldly Desire Temple, a graveyard with an old temple at the top, and a cave in the back of it. Scarecrow Field, which is this farm land with a field to plant seeds in. And Funny Bone Factory, which is… just…. Great (Again, we’ll get to that later). All these places have a distinct feature to them, all with their own set of characters and settings. Like I really enjoy going to the shopping district of Long Life Town and checking out the married couple that runs the bar, または seeing the slacker musician playing for money. I really like seeing the Monk go back to the temple after a 日 of asking for donations to the temple. And I liked seeing the workers go to and from the factory and go straight ホーム robotically every 日 (Until I didn’t, but again, we’ll get there).
The thing that really adds to the atmosphere of this game is the soundtrack. Done によって the composer, Hirofumi Taniguchi, who I can’t find much on, but it seems they also did the soundtrack for Moon, along with redoing it for the re-release on Switch. That’s good to know they are still working on these niche titles. But the 音楽 is something really special. It’s unlike anything I’ve heard before. With all sorts of soft music, the countryside has this jazz drum with humming. The town theme has this mumbling lyrics mixed with kazoo that just kind of works to give it that laid back, lazy feeling of going around town as a kid. And I 愛 hearing the 音楽 of the town drown out when あなた go into the bar and play this lyrical music, as lyrical as あなた can get when characters speak in Animal Crossing language. But when it turns night, the 音楽 fades, and it’s just the sound of the ambience. The train going through the town making its last stops, イヌ barking in the distance, the sound of crickets and frogs in the lake. All while あなた sit at the train stop, waiting for the last train ホーム with only the warm glow from the lamp above illuminating the darkness. This shit is really chill and I enjoy it. That being said, it doesn’t motivate me to explore this game. While I do enjoy finding the residents and キス them to get the satisfaction, as well as learning about them in the 写真 album, seeing the letters they send and how they feel about the interaction, and just seeing the strange デザイン they have, what I don’t enjoy is basic exploring. Because just the act of examining could spell your death.
That’s right. Chulip, this time management game about キス people, has a health bar. And it has game overs. And if あなた game over, it’s back to your last save. And that could mean going all the way back into town if あなた are out of town and having to set everything back. Just the act of looking at stuff can get あなた killed. Look at a globe in the park, it spins and kills あなた at a low level. Ride the slide? あなた trip and get hurt. Ride the swing? あなた jump off and it… heals you. Well then what the hell am I supposed to do? Not look at stuff? Even the act of looking in the trash for goodies could net あなた shit. Like, no joke, literal shit as an item あなた carry. And it hurts you. But sometimes あなた need to do it. Oh, sure, sometimes あなた can avoid the damage, but the game won’t tell あなた that. At the factory, あなた can press the buttons, X, Triangle, Circle, X, and not only avoid the embarrassment of not knowing the factory’s stretches, but also get a potato. But the game doesn’t tell あなた that, so あなた could play this game, get hurt every time, and just assume that it’s going to happen every time, unless あなた によって chance start pushing buttons and learn, または just look up a guide. After a while, I just decided to use the guide, because I was scared something would just kill me. How am I supposed to know that just the act of talking to a friendly NPC and having him call me stinky would get me hurt? That’s not fair. But, whatever, あなた live, または あなた die, but あなた reload your save, あなた learn, あなた go on with the game and wait for something else to fuck you. Like mayhaps video game stuff that is unavoidable, like getting hit によって lightning when あなた solve the grave puzzle. Okay, well, fuck あなた for that one game. So yeah, あなた better be キス people. A lot of people. Which thankfully, I did. Because man, do I 愛 these characters.
There are two groups of people in this game. The Underground Resident, and the Above Residents. And while the underground residents are made up of all sorts of strange enigmas, like a 音楽 box player, a boxer, a man with an assault rifle, a クモ, スパイダー with lips on it’s asshole, a walking puzzle, a man who swims in concrete, a wizard, an angry voodoo doll, and an actual gimp, they seem to be less insane than the resident that occupy your town. They live underground, get no pay, and no thanks, despite keeping the town's water and electricity running, but they seem to be happy in their mad underground world, where the people above ground, they’re depressed and they’re crazy. Like I genuinely came to 愛 most of these characters for their strange behavior and their outlooks on life. There’s the local doctor, Dr. Dandy, who is all about health that he helps people for free, yet he falls asleep all the time at work and can’t even cure his own sickness that he’s suffering from. There’s the married couple who are the parents of Shu’s dream girl, Julie and Goro, who live in a miserable life, the wife having to run the bar and make due despite her ロスト 歌う career while her failed director husband fails to sell potatoes, and only goes ホーム to get drunk as he complains about his directing days. One of my お気に入り is Batayan, a slacker who just wants to make music, but also needs money to survive. And when あなた get him a job at the factory, he is ecstatic. But slowly, he becomes tired, exhausted. He has to travel out of town によって two trains to get to the factory, works there from 8:30 AM to 4 in the evening, then gets on the train, taking him hours just to get home, where he goes to sleep for four hours before doing it all again tomorrow. The dude’s fucking miserable and just wants to sing, but needs money. It isn’t until あなた 火災, 火 him after becoming the president of the factory (Long story), then talking to him where he realizes he is fine being poor. He would rather be poor, doing what he loves, then to be rich and miserable. This game has all sorts of depression humor like that, all mixed with how characters feel like society does not care about them and how they struggle just to get by. This game is the perfect millennium game, feeling exhausted from work to work on your passions, feeling that you’d be better off dead than working for a minimum wage check every day, hating everyone and drinking your troubles away, counting down the last days of your life until your death. This game has all sorts of wacky cartoon antics and oddness to it, but it hides all the もっと見る depression, もっと見る serious topics behind the scenes. Stuff like being accused of crimes because あなた live in poverty によって police, domestic abuse and alcoholism, depression, feeling trapped in your job, dealing with loss. The game is all kinds of sad. The game is charming and funny, but really sad. This game can make あなた glad, and this game can make あなた sad. But this game can also make あなた really, really fucking mad.
While I’ve been 歌う this game's praises, I have to admit, this game can have me invested one moment, but it can drive me to the brink of rage the next, especially from the abundance of annoying, unfair deaths, cryptic 尻, お尻 puzzles, and waiting. So much waiting. If あなた play Chulip, please, I implore you, do not go for every kiss. あなた don’t have to get every kiss. あなた can get a lot, and I really do recommend getting all the above ground kisses, but anything else will just frustrate you. Aside from the fact that underground residents have a point when あなた can キッス them, it’s randomized. あなた can’t just go to their spot at night and キッス them, of course not. あなた gotta wait for a specific moment. Sure, some of them have puzzle solving. ナス Boy wants あなた to eat an ナス in front of him to get a kiss. Jamtrack wants あなた to stand on the parts of the sand that he calls out. Jigsaw wants あなた to find the puzzle piece that matches his face. But most of them only want あなた to let them walk around and wait until they just become happy to キッス them. And it could be ランダム when they do this. Sometimes they do it often. But other times, they could just… not. They can also run into あなた and knock あなた down, and while you’re getting up, they can get happy, but stop as soon as you’re on your feet again. If あなた キッス them before the moment, they will hit あなた and it may even kill you. Regardless, if あなた wait too long, they will leave and あなた have no chance of getting them until あなた either reload your save, または go do something else または sleep または read a book at the train station to pass time until the time comes for them to emerge again. And there are fifty kissable characters, only thirteen of them are above ground residents with their own stories. I’m not saying I want more, because what I got was great, but do they really gotta randomize the moment they can be kissed and put it on strict time limits? I 愛 time management games. Some of my お気に入り games ever, being Persona 4, Animal Crossing, and Majora’s Mask, are all about managing your time. But when most of my time is spent waiting twelve in game hours 読書 a book, then spending some time standing at the spot because I’m scared I’ll skip the meeting otherwise does not feel remotely fun. It feels like I’m just waiting around and the charm of the night setting really starts to turn from something charming into something frustrating. I 発言しました we’d get to Funny Bone Factory, so here we go.
This is a scenario that I got to. So to get one piece of the 愛 letter set needed to beat the game, あなた gotta go into the factory and become the president. After suggesting Batayan to work there, the factory thanks あなた によって making あなた a manager card to come in and look around. あなた ride the tram into the factory, and do the exercise like I mentioned before. Do it right または get hurt and risk death. But I assume あなた survived. So あなた have to talk to the workers to find which one has a lazy guard. One of the four areas has this. After that, hide, and wait for the guard to leave. Then input the code あなた got from the old manager into the tram numbers and あなた will open the 安全, 安全です on the roof, and congrats. You’re the boss of the company. It’s weird, but the puzzles give あなた hints and it has a funny pay off. And あなた complete your goal. Not bad… But if あなた want to get all the kissable residents inside the factory, get fucking ready. So あなた get to Funny Bone Factory and start 読書 your book at the train station. あなた arrived after every other worker was going in, so あなた can’t go in. No, あなた can’t go in at any point. あなた go in while everyone else is going in, または you’re not going in until tomorrow. So after あなた wait, and I’ll assume あなた kissed the resident outside the factory and got the save room for this area. So あなた save outside the factory, 8:30 rolls around, and あなた get to go in. あなた do your stretches, get hurt again because fuck you, and あなた have to get to the two people inside the factory during the day. Being Batayan for his キッス later, and the Plow Driver in the fourth area. あなた can NOT go to these areas how あなた want. あなた have to go to them on a set order at a set time. あなた leave when the game says あなた can leave. Batayan is in the 秒 of the four areas, while the Plow Driver is in the fourth. But remember that lazy security guard? Well he could be in any one of the four areas. あなた have to ask the employees in each area if it’s him. Thankfully, あなた don’t gotta ask every employee. It’s always the same one in all four areas. But if the security guard isn’t the one in the fourth area, あなた have no way of getting to the plow driver without not getting the underground residents at night. So let’s say, によって some miracle, あなた get the security guard to be in the fourth area. あなた hide and wait for night and now あなた have twelve in game hours before the guards come back and toss your ass. There are now five underground residents. あなた need to remember the codes to get to each of the five spots. The first site, Factory Under Construction. Site 2, Operating Factory. Then Factory Under Construction, then New Factory Site, then the roof. Each has a different code to put on the tram to send あなた there. One is on the roof at 8PM to 11PM, and he is ランダム when he will be kissable, and can knock into あなた and waste time. After that, there’s one in the 秒 area, that is very sporadic with his movements and could not be kissable if あなた aren’t ready. Then go to the fourth area to find one that wants あなた to find the other half of his face in a pile of other faces. Thankfully, it’s easier than it sounds, as his face is different looking than the others in your inventory, but he leaves in an hour. Then it’s back to the 秒 area to キッス one guy who could not be kissable at all. He could just 表示する up then fuck off without giving あなた a chance. Then あなた gotta go to the third area and let the guy there scream two times without letting him follow you, then あなた can キッス him. After that, あなた gotta leave the factory before night. And no, being the president doesn’t mean あなた can explore the factory on your own または at night. If あなた miss one, あなた gotta do the fucking tour again, the stretching, the hiding, and running around for a chance to キッス them, and can still mess up because it’s random. And if you’re thinking, “Nik, what the fuck were あなた even saying in this entire paragraph!? You’re not making any fucking sense!?” EXACTLY! When I have to redo all of this shit over and over again just to キッス one person who may not even activate, I get really, really mad, and I feel I just wasted my time and now I have to go back and waste もっと見る of my time just to キッス them. But when the game isn’t frustrating あなた with giving it to あなた straight but not actually letting あなた have it, it’s cryptic as all hell.
The game is usually fair in the first 2/3rds of the game. The puzzles are weird, and a lot of the bullshit deaths can be forgiven. But it’s when we get to Scarecrow Field and have to get a キッス from the alien does the game become really cryptic. Throughout the game, as あなた キッス certain people, they may drop for あなた an Alien Dictionary, which allows あなた to read on the aliens language. Which is a nice way to help あなた figure out what he needs. A Computer, a Refrigerator, and a Frying Pan. But wait, we’re not done yet. After he makes his computer, he needs to figure out what else he needs. He turns a building nearby into a giant 音楽 box… um, okay… And then after that, あなた have to go and find the right notes to the 音楽 box. But the game doesn’t tell あなた that あなた need to find a set of 星, つ星 Seeds in the field nearby and plant them in the nearby garden. Like, how was anyone gonna know that. But, look, fine. あなた could come to that によって exploring this part at ランダム and finding the seeds. Seeds go into the dirt. There’s only one spot for plantable dirt, and the one side won’t take vegetable seeds. So あなた put it there and get the notes. But when あなた get the notes, あなた can’t put it into the machine, because it’s missing something. What is it? What can あなた put onto the computer, increase inside, and put into the giant 音楽 box to play the notes? Well duh, dumbass. Funny Cola. A drink from the vending machine in Long Life Town. I… have no idea what that means. In the aliens language, サッカー means Canned Juice. But there’s no sign of サッカー on there, and that could mean anything. There’s no サッカー ball on the vending machine that produces the Funny Cola. I’m looking at this flabbergasted. Like there’s no fucking way anyone was going to know that without either forcing everything in the entire game into the goddamn computer. Apparently, the solution was simple in Japanese but the solution got ロスト in translation, but good god, that is frustrating. And this is a mandatory puzzle to solve in order to beat the game. Like あなた need to キッス this alien to prove あなた had contacts with aliens to impress the alien obsessed teacher so she’ll give あなた the piece of the 愛 Letter Set. This game can have some of the highest highs and the lowest fucking lows. But I don’t want to end this review on huge negativity, so let’s talk about the ending, something I’m sure few Americans have seen. And if あなた want to play this game, skip this 次 paragraph to avoid spoilers
(!!!!!!!!!!SPOILERS FOR THE ENDING OF CHULIP AHEAD!!!!!!!!!)
So after getting the full letter set and making the letter, the mailbox in the town stops working, and あなた are left with no choice but to explore the town. Eventually finding the telephone wire resident having dug a hole deep into the sand in the park. And also your dad was the president of the school, is also a weirdo goblin, and this was all an elaborate method to strengthen Shu’s ハート, 心 in order to be better with women. But there is one final test, and it’s at the bottom of the hole. Falling down puts あなた into some… fucking weird place. あなた are now having to test your logic of what あなた learned about the town, the residents, and having to reach the bottom of the dream girls heart, figuratively and maybe literally. First test, picking the real head of her father, Goro. It’s easy if あなた just pick the right one. But after that, it’s a real challenge. Her mother, Julie, is on trial of the chickens for cooking them for 食 in her bar, and あなた have to choose the witnesses from the town and decide which ones are the ones who like her chicken. A lot of people in town don’t, but with the testimony of those that 愛 her cooking, あなた pass and can 移動する onto the last trial, and it’s honestly intimidating. あなた meet with the dream girls’ pet cat, the one who knows her the best, and it pins あなた against answering twenty 質問 about the town. A lot of them are so damn vague like the number for the hospital または the number of drinks Policeman drinks. But if あなた have explored the town enough, and gotten to know these characters, あなた can prevail. It all comes down to hoping あなた can survive the ネコ onslaught of questions, and attacks if あなた get them wrong, によって testing how much あなた invested in this town. And since I actually came to enjoy a lot of these characters, I found myself really enjoying them. I was glad I got to know them, got to help out their problems, and see them for the better. Batayan, the slacker, is poor, but he’s playing music, and it makes him happy. Julie and Goro, despite living in a crappy bar with their dreams lost, they have each other and are able to handle that. Michelle is able to cut out her alcoholism and go to eating Eggplants to keep herself calm. Dr. Dandy is able to go back to working and helping patients now that his sickness is gone. Mika is able to pass on in peace after seeing her high school lover enjoy the お茶, 紅茶 she had made before her death. And much more. It’s just nice to see that this game has a message to it. That no matter how bad things get, no matter how miserable あなた think あなた are, having someone 表示する genuine kindness to you, to help あなた out just because they want to, and 表示する that あなた care, it really gives this game a hopeful message in sight of all the cynicism and I think that’s really nice… It’s just a shame I hate playing this game.
(!!!!!END OF SPOILERS!!!!!)
Man, this is a damn shame. Chulip is a game that has so much meta commentary, a dark sense of humor that was way ahead of its time, and some charming characters, music, and settings that will stick with me for a long time, all wrapped up in a game I despise. I 愛 this game so much and know it will stick with me hours after I play it, but the tedium, the insanity that bleeds out into the gameplay in the worst ways, the constant frustration, makes me so angry, that I never want to play this game ever again. I would 愛 to see Chulip get revived as a sort of マンガ comic または a cartoon of sorts または something. I think that this setting is something fascinating and I admire the work that the team put into this game. But no, I can’t play this game again. It was torture to play. Tedious, frustrating, dull torture. Chulip would go on to pretty much gain cult status in America, but nothing more. It was ported to the PS3 as a PS2 classic, which… Really? This game? I mean, it’s definitely unique and has good parts of it, and I would much prefer spending $10 to the usual $150 for a physical copy, but really? Of all the games? Oh well. The creator of this game, Yoshiro Kimura would produce and デザイン other games later on, including being the producer of the No もっと見る ヒーローズ games, and would go on to work for Marvelous Entertainment and work as combat designer for Romancing SaGa 3, released in 2019. I hope that this man can find work as a director again. He’s talented. Chulip was a frustrating game, but I won’t lie and say that it’s a charming little game that definitely shows the talent of the team behind it. I hope they can get another chance to make something great.
Award: Endurance Test. Endurance of the highest caliber. Do not go for 100% on this game if あなた can help it. And for the 愛 of god, play it with a walkthrough. I won’t tell あなた if あなた should play this game または not, because this is one of those weird titles that kind of needed to be played to form your own opinion on, but it’s not without its good moments. Moments of fun, of charm, and of genuine joy. Just be ready for some really annoying mechanics.
In all seriousness, when I hear about these weird games and the whole, “What were these developers doing? Snorting LSD and drinking PSP and doing funny weed?” is a mindset that just screams that あなた really don’t care and try to evaluate the property you’re looking at. Even the weirdest kinds of games out there, like Katamari Damacy, Killer7, and others of the same category of fucking nuts have a reason to the madness, a sort of point to the insanity. Be it to build the world, be it to make a point in a sort of exaggerated manner, または just to create a unique world that has some method to the madness. Unless あなた make something for the sake of 表示中 off insane visuals for the sake of insane visuals, there’s usually もっと見る to something than just the creators being on all the drugs. I think any ファン of rock 音楽 from the 70s and 80s knows how annoying it can be. And today's game is no exception to the crazy, wacky, nutso world of Chulip. There is a point to this oddity, and I want to 表示する it to あなた all. But this game is a game that has driven me and may drive many others to the brink of madness, and not because of the weird concept. We’ll get into why down the road.
Chulip was a strange little game made によって the now defunct Punchline, made up of staff from the also now defunct Love-de-Lic Inc.. Love-de-Lic was known mostly for the game Moon: RPG Remix, a game that was Japanese exclusive for a long time before recently getting an English port to the Switch. It was mostly known here as being one of the earliest of the もっと見る meta narrative JRPG games and was one of the inspirations for the game Undertale. They also made games like UFO: A 日 in the Life and LOL: Lack of Love. However, the studio would disband in 2000 and スプリット, 分割 into three other studios. Those being Skip Ltd., responsible for the Chibi-Robo games on Gamecube. Vanpool Inc., who work on 任天堂 games, the most 最近 one being Kirby Fighters 2, also responsible for those fucking weird 日本 only Tingle games. And last, Punchline, with only two games under their belt. Today's game, Chulip. And the forever illusive horror game, Rule of Rose. Aside from Rule of Rose being banned in ヨーロッパ for the extreme graphic material that it had, Chulip didn’t exactly get much chance either. The game spent four years in delay for it’s American release. Chulip released in 日本 on October 3rd, 2002. But it didn’t come out in America until February 13th, 2007. And not only that, it was a Gamestop Exclusive game. Oooh, あなた were just destined to die. Along with it being extremely Japanese in an American market, along with being met with scathing reviews from critics on release, this game stood no chance. It’s no wonder why of the three studios mentioned, Skip, Vanpool, and Punchline, the only one to perish was Punchline. If not thanks for Natsume, the team behind the Harvest Moon games, I don’t think Chulip would ever come out at all. And was the wait worth it. Yes!... No… Maybe… I honestly don’t know. And によって the end, I hope, あなた will also not know.
The game takes place in a fictional Japanese countryside town called Long Life Town. あなた play as a young boy, not cannonly name, so for the sake of convenience, let’s name him Shu. So Shu moves into this town with his single dad into a poverty ridden house at the back end of the town, and is already hit with judgemental eyes from the neighbors for being so goddamn poor. But our young boy Shu gets a dream of a girl in it, his very own dream babe. And turns out, the babe in his dream is an actual real life resident of the town. But Shu is a coward and hasn’t the ハート, 心 to キッス her. But with the help of an actual goblin that lives underground, Shu is on a mission to get to the girls ハート, 心 によって gaining confidence によって キス other residents of the town and getting the experience he needs to woo her. Complete with all the fun things like zombie lolita girls, a prison factory, ダンプスター, ゴミ箱, 収集 diving, alcoolism, police committing hate crimes, and more. It’s not all fun and games here in Long Life Town. Immediately, I was sucked into the weirdness of this game the 秒 I started. All the characters have these exaggerated expressions that give them a sort of muppet style to them. It’s simplistic, but it gives them this sort of play doll look and I find their exaggerated designs really charming. I 愛 this big mouth on our boy Shu here. He looks so shocked at just every minor thing and seeing his reactions of joy to just fishing potatoes out of the fucking trash can for 食 is quite charming. I approve of this as a fellow potato fucker. There’s もっと見る strange designs to be found throughout. The Policeman having this giant, almost robotic head that moves back and forth like some machine. The teachers being disguised as oil barrels, stop signs, and telephone poles having to maneuver in such a way of their, for lack of a better term, disability. I really like the shopkeeper outside the store. He has this spinning head that has two expressions, a grump cigarette and book seller outside, but when あなた go into the train, he rushes from the stand to the ticket booth and turns into a もっと見る charming demeanor. I wish もっと見る games had this sort of charm with their merchants nowadays. I guess with Undetale having so many fun shopkeepers, it keeps that spirit alive. Toby 狐, フォックス really was inspired によって Yoshiro Kimura, it seems (That’s the creator of the game, によって the way). Another thing I find really charming is the settings of the place. The area is located near a country side, so あなた gotta take trains from place to place, which is really atmospheric (At first, but we’ll get to that in a bit). あなた have a set number of places to go to. Worldly Desire Temple, a graveyard with an old temple at the top, and a cave in the back of it. Scarecrow Field, which is this farm land with a field to plant seeds in. And Funny Bone Factory, which is… just…. Great (Again, we’ll get to that later). All these places have a distinct feature to them, all with their own set of characters and settings. Like I really enjoy going to the shopping district of Long Life Town and checking out the married couple that runs the bar, または seeing the slacker musician playing for money. I really like seeing the Monk go back to the temple after a 日 of asking for donations to the temple. And I liked seeing the workers go to and from the factory and go straight ホーム robotically every 日 (Until I didn’t, but again, we’ll get there).
The thing that really adds to the atmosphere of this game is the soundtrack. Done によって the composer, Hirofumi Taniguchi, who I can’t find much on, but it seems they also did the soundtrack for Moon, along with redoing it for the re-release on Switch. That’s good to know they are still working on these niche titles. But the 音楽 is something really special. It’s unlike anything I’ve heard before. With all sorts of soft music, the countryside has this jazz drum with humming. The town theme has this mumbling lyrics mixed with kazoo that just kind of works to give it that laid back, lazy feeling of going around town as a kid. And I 愛 hearing the 音楽 of the town drown out when あなた go into the bar and play this lyrical music, as lyrical as あなた can get when characters speak in Animal Crossing language. But when it turns night, the 音楽 fades, and it’s just the sound of the ambience. The train going through the town making its last stops, イヌ barking in the distance, the sound of crickets and frogs in the lake. All while あなた sit at the train stop, waiting for the last train ホーム with only the warm glow from the lamp above illuminating the darkness. This shit is really chill and I enjoy it. That being said, it doesn’t motivate me to explore this game. While I do enjoy finding the residents and キス them to get the satisfaction, as well as learning about them in the 写真 album, seeing the letters they send and how they feel about the interaction, and just seeing the strange デザイン they have, what I don’t enjoy is basic exploring. Because just the act of examining could spell your death.
That’s right. Chulip, this time management game about キス people, has a health bar. And it has game overs. And if あなた game over, it’s back to your last save. And that could mean going all the way back into town if あなた are out of town and having to set everything back. Just the act of looking at stuff can get あなた killed. Look at a globe in the park, it spins and kills あなた at a low level. Ride the slide? あなた trip and get hurt. Ride the swing? あなた jump off and it… heals you. Well then what the hell am I supposed to do? Not look at stuff? Even the act of looking in the trash for goodies could net あなた shit. Like, no joke, literal shit as an item あなた carry. And it hurts you. But sometimes あなた need to do it. Oh, sure, sometimes あなた can avoid the damage, but the game won’t tell あなた that. At the factory, あなた can press the buttons, X, Triangle, Circle, X, and not only avoid the embarrassment of not knowing the factory’s stretches, but also get a potato. But the game doesn’t tell あなた that, so あなた could play this game, get hurt every time, and just assume that it’s going to happen every time, unless あなた によって chance start pushing buttons and learn, または just look up a guide. After a while, I just decided to use the guide, because I was scared something would just kill me. How am I supposed to know that just the act of talking to a friendly NPC and having him call me stinky would get me hurt? That’s not fair. But, whatever, あなた live, または あなた die, but あなた reload your save, あなた learn, あなた go on with the game and wait for something else to fuck you. Like mayhaps video game stuff that is unavoidable, like getting hit によって lightning when あなた solve the grave puzzle. Okay, well, fuck あなた for that one game. So yeah, あなた better be キス people. A lot of people. Which thankfully, I did. Because man, do I 愛 these characters.
There are two groups of people in this game. The Underground Resident, and the Above Residents. And while the underground residents are made up of all sorts of strange enigmas, like a 音楽 box player, a boxer, a man with an assault rifle, a クモ, スパイダー with lips on it’s asshole, a walking puzzle, a man who swims in concrete, a wizard, an angry voodoo doll, and an actual gimp, they seem to be less insane than the resident that occupy your town. They live underground, get no pay, and no thanks, despite keeping the town's water and electricity running, but they seem to be happy in their mad underground world, where the people above ground, they’re depressed and they’re crazy. Like I genuinely came to 愛 most of these characters for their strange behavior and their outlooks on life. There’s the local doctor, Dr. Dandy, who is all about health that he helps people for free, yet he falls asleep all the time at work and can’t even cure his own sickness that he’s suffering from. There’s the married couple who are the parents of Shu’s dream girl, Julie and Goro, who live in a miserable life, the wife having to run the bar and make due despite her ロスト 歌う career while her failed director husband fails to sell potatoes, and only goes ホーム to get drunk as he complains about his directing days. One of my お気に入り is Batayan, a slacker who just wants to make music, but also needs money to survive. And when あなた get him a job at the factory, he is ecstatic. But slowly, he becomes tired, exhausted. He has to travel out of town によって two trains to get to the factory, works there from 8:30 AM to 4 in the evening, then gets on the train, taking him hours just to get home, where he goes to sleep for four hours before doing it all again tomorrow. The dude’s fucking miserable and just wants to sing, but needs money. It isn’t until あなた 火災, 火 him after becoming the president of the factory (Long story), then talking to him where he realizes he is fine being poor. He would rather be poor, doing what he loves, then to be rich and miserable. This game has all sorts of depression humor like that, all mixed with how characters feel like society does not care about them and how they struggle just to get by. This game is the perfect millennium game, feeling exhausted from work to work on your passions, feeling that you’d be better off dead than working for a minimum wage check every day, hating everyone and drinking your troubles away, counting down the last days of your life until your death. This game has all sorts of wacky cartoon antics and oddness to it, but it hides all the もっと見る depression, もっと見る serious topics behind the scenes. Stuff like being accused of crimes because あなた live in poverty によって police, domestic abuse and alcoholism, depression, feeling trapped in your job, dealing with loss. The game is all kinds of sad. The game is charming and funny, but really sad. This game can make あなた glad, and this game can make あなた sad. But this game can also make あなた really, really fucking mad.
While I’ve been 歌う this game's praises, I have to admit, this game can have me invested one moment, but it can drive me to the brink of rage the next, especially from the abundance of annoying, unfair deaths, cryptic 尻, お尻 puzzles, and waiting. So much waiting. If あなた play Chulip, please, I implore you, do not go for every kiss. あなた don’t have to get every kiss. あなた can get a lot, and I really do recommend getting all the above ground kisses, but anything else will just frustrate you. Aside from the fact that underground residents have a point when あなた can キッス them, it’s randomized. あなた can’t just go to their spot at night and キッス them, of course not. あなた gotta wait for a specific moment. Sure, some of them have puzzle solving. ナス Boy wants あなた to eat an ナス in front of him to get a kiss. Jamtrack wants あなた to stand on the parts of the sand that he calls out. Jigsaw wants あなた to find the puzzle piece that matches his face. But most of them only want あなた to let them walk around and wait until they just become happy to キッス them. And it could be ランダム when they do this. Sometimes they do it often. But other times, they could just… not. They can also run into あなた and knock あなた down, and while you’re getting up, they can get happy, but stop as soon as you’re on your feet again. If あなた キッス them before the moment, they will hit あなた and it may even kill you. Regardless, if あなた wait too long, they will leave and あなた have no chance of getting them until あなた either reload your save, または go do something else または sleep または read a book at the train station to pass time until the time comes for them to emerge again. And there are fifty kissable characters, only thirteen of them are above ground residents with their own stories. I’m not saying I want more, because what I got was great, but do they really gotta randomize the moment they can be kissed and put it on strict time limits? I 愛 time management games. Some of my お気に入り games ever, being Persona 4, Animal Crossing, and Majora’s Mask, are all about managing your time. But when most of my time is spent waiting twelve in game hours 読書 a book, then spending some time standing at the spot because I’m scared I’ll skip the meeting otherwise does not feel remotely fun. It feels like I’m just waiting around and the charm of the night setting really starts to turn from something charming into something frustrating. I 発言しました we’d get to Funny Bone Factory, so here we go.
This is a scenario that I got to. So to get one piece of the 愛 letter set needed to beat the game, あなた gotta go into the factory and become the president. After suggesting Batayan to work there, the factory thanks あなた によって making あなた a manager card to come in and look around. あなた ride the tram into the factory, and do the exercise like I mentioned before. Do it right または get hurt and risk death. But I assume あなた survived. So あなた have to talk to the workers to find which one has a lazy guard. One of the four areas has this. After that, hide, and wait for the guard to leave. Then input the code あなた got from the old manager into the tram numbers and あなた will open the 安全, 安全です on the roof, and congrats. You’re the boss of the company. It’s weird, but the puzzles give あなた hints and it has a funny pay off. And あなた complete your goal. Not bad… But if あなた want to get all the kissable residents inside the factory, get fucking ready. So あなた get to Funny Bone Factory and start 読書 your book at the train station. あなた arrived after every other worker was going in, so あなた can’t go in. No, あなた can’t go in at any point. あなた go in while everyone else is going in, または you’re not going in until tomorrow. So after あなた wait, and I’ll assume あなた kissed the resident outside the factory and got the save room for this area. So あなた save outside the factory, 8:30 rolls around, and あなた get to go in. あなた do your stretches, get hurt again because fuck you, and あなた have to get to the two people inside the factory during the day. Being Batayan for his キッス later, and the Plow Driver in the fourth area. あなた can NOT go to these areas how あなた want. あなた have to go to them on a set order at a set time. あなた leave when the game says あなた can leave. Batayan is in the 秒 of the four areas, while the Plow Driver is in the fourth. But remember that lazy security guard? Well he could be in any one of the four areas. あなた have to ask the employees in each area if it’s him. Thankfully, あなた don’t gotta ask every employee. It’s always the same one in all four areas. But if the security guard isn’t the one in the fourth area, あなた have no way of getting to the plow driver without not getting the underground residents at night. So let’s say, によって some miracle, あなた get the security guard to be in the fourth area. あなた hide and wait for night and now あなた have twelve in game hours before the guards come back and toss your ass. There are now five underground residents. あなた need to remember the codes to get to each of the five spots. The first site, Factory Under Construction. Site 2, Operating Factory. Then Factory Under Construction, then New Factory Site, then the roof. Each has a different code to put on the tram to send あなた there. One is on the roof at 8PM to 11PM, and he is ランダム when he will be kissable, and can knock into あなた and waste time. After that, there’s one in the 秒 area, that is very sporadic with his movements and could not be kissable if あなた aren’t ready. Then go to the fourth area to find one that wants あなた to find the other half of his face in a pile of other faces. Thankfully, it’s easier than it sounds, as his face is different looking than the others in your inventory, but he leaves in an hour. Then it’s back to the 秒 area to キッス one guy who could not be kissable at all. He could just 表示する up then fuck off without giving あなた a chance. Then あなた gotta go to the third area and let the guy there scream two times without letting him follow you, then あなた can キッス him. After that, あなた gotta leave the factory before night. And no, being the president doesn’t mean あなた can explore the factory on your own または at night. If あなた miss one, あなた gotta do the fucking tour again, the stretching, the hiding, and running around for a chance to キッス them, and can still mess up because it’s random. And if you’re thinking, “Nik, what the fuck were あなた even saying in this entire paragraph!? You’re not making any fucking sense!?” EXACTLY! When I have to redo all of this shit over and over again just to キッス one person who may not even activate, I get really, really mad, and I feel I just wasted my time and now I have to go back and waste もっと見る of my time just to キッス them. But when the game isn’t frustrating あなた with giving it to あなた straight but not actually letting あなた have it, it’s cryptic as all hell.
The game is usually fair in the first 2/3rds of the game. The puzzles are weird, and a lot of the bullshit deaths can be forgiven. But it’s when we get to Scarecrow Field and have to get a キッス from the alien does the game become really cryptic. Throughout the game, as あなた キッス certain people, they may drop for あなた an Alien Dictionary, which allows あなた to read on the aliens language. Which is a nice way to help あなた figure out what he needs. A Computer, a Refrigerator, and a Frying Pan. But wait, we’re not done yet. After he makes his computer, he needs to figure out what else he needs. He turns a building nearby into a giant 音楽 box… um, okay… And then after that, あなた have to go and find the right notes to the 音楽 box. But the game doesn’t tell あなた that あなた need to find a set of 星, つ星 Seeds in the field nearby and plant them in the nearby garden. Like, how was anyone gonna know that. But, look, fine. あなた could come to that によって exploring this part at ランダム and finding the seeds. Seeds go into the dirt. There’s only one spot for plantable dirt, and the one side won’t take vegetable seeds. So あなた put it there and get the notes. But when あなた get the notes, あなた can’t put it into the machine, because it’s missing something. What is it? What can あなた put onto the computer, increase inside, and put into the giant 音楽 box to play the notes? Well duh, dumbass. Funny Cola. A drink from the vending machine in Long Life Town. I… have no idea what that means. In the aliens language, サッカー means Canned Juice. But there’s no sign of サッカー on there, and that could mean anything. There’s no サッカー ball on the vending machine that produces the Funny Cola. I’m looking at this flabbergasted. Like there’s no fucking way anyone was going to know that without either forcing everything in the entire game into the goddamn computer. Apparently, the solution was simple in Japanese but the solution got ロスト in translation, but good god, that is frustrating. And this is a mandatory puzzle to solve in order to beat the game. Like あなた need to キッス this alien to prove あなた had contacts with aliens to impress the alien obsessed teacher so she’ll give あなた the piece of the 愛 Letter Set. This game can have some of the highest highs and the lowest fucking lows. But I don’t want to end this review on huge negativity, so let’s talk about the ending, something I’m sure few Americans have seen. And if あなた want to play this game, skip this 次 paragraph to avoid spoilers
(!!!!!!!!!!SPOILERS FOR THE ENDING OF CHULIP AHEAD!!!!!!!!!)
So after getting the full letter set and making the letter, the mailbox in the town stops working, and あなた are left with no choice but to explore the town. Eventually finding the telephone wire resident having dug a hole deep into the sand in the park. And also your dad was the president of the school, is also a weirdo goblin, and this was all an elaborate method to strengthen Shu’s ハート, 心 in order to be better with women. But there is one final test, and it’s at the bottom of the hole. Falling down puts あなた into some… fucking weird place. あなた are now having to test your logic of what あなた learned about the town, the residents, and having to reach the bottom of the dream girls heart, figuratively and maybe literally. First test, picking the real head of her father, Goro. It’s easy if あなた just pick the right one. But after that, it’s a real challenge. Her mother, Julie, is on trial of the chickens for cooking them for 食 in her bar, and あなた have to choose the witnesses from the town and decide which ones are the ones who like her chicken. A lot of people in town don’t, but with the testimony of those that 愛 her cooking, あなた pass and can 移動する onto the last trial, and it’s honestly intimidating. あなた meet with the dream girls’ pet cat, the one who knows her the best, and it pins あなた against answering twenty 質問 about the town. A lot of them are so damn vague like the number for the hospital または the number of drinks Policeman drinks. But if あなた have explored the town enough, and gotten to know these characters, あなた can prevail. It all comes down to hoping あなた can survive the ネコ onslaught of questions, and attacks if あなた get them wrong, によって testing how much あなた invested in this town. And since I actually came to enjoy a lot of these characters, I found myself really enjoying them. I was glad I got to know them, got to help out their problems, and see them for the better. Batayan, the slacker, is poor, but he’s playing music, and it makes him happy. Julie and Goro, despite living in a crappy bar with their dreams lost, they have each other and are able to handle that. Michelle is able to cut out her alcoholism and go to eating Eggplants to keep herself calm. Dr. Dandy is able to go back to working and helping patients now that his sickness is gone. Mika is able to pass on in peace after seeing her high school lover enjoy the お茶, 紅茶 she had made before her death. And much more. It’s just nice to see that this game has a message to it. That no matter how bad things get, no matter how miserable あなた think あなた are, having someone 表示する genuine kindness to you, to help あなた out just because they want to, and 表示する that あなた care, it really gives this game a hopeful message in sight of all the cynicism and I think that’s really nice… It’s just a shame I hate playing this game.
(!!!!!END OF SPOILERS!!!!!)
Man, this is a damn shame. Chulip is a game that has so much meta commentary, a dark sense of humor that was way ahead of its time, and some charming characters, music, and settings that will stick with me for a long time, all wrapped up in a game I despise. I 愛 this game so much and know it will stick with me hours after I play it, but the tedium, the insanity that bleeds out into the gameplay in the worst ways, the constant frustration, makes me so angry, that I never want to play this game ever again. I would 愛 to see Chulip get revived as a sort of マンガ comic または a cartoon of sorts または something. I think that this setting is something fascinating and I admire the work that the team put into this game. But no, I can’t play this game again. It was torture to play. Tedious, frustrating, dull torture. Chulip would go on to pretty much gain cult status in America, but nothing more. It was ported to the PS3 as a PS2 classic, which… Really? This game? I mean, it’s definitely unique and has good parts of it, and I would much prefer spending $10 to the usual $150 for a physical copy, but really? Of all the games? Oh well. The creator of this game, Yoshiro Kimura would produce and デザイン other games later on, including being the producer of the No もっと見る ヒーローズ games, and would go on to work for Marvelous Entertainment and work as combat designer for Romancing SaGa 3, released in 2019. I hope that this man can find work as a director again. He’s talented. Chulip was a frustrating game, but I won’t lie and say that it’s a charming little game that definitely shows the talent of the team behind it. I hope they can get another chance to make something great.
Award: Endurance Test. Endurance of the highest caliber. Do not go for 100% on this game if あなた can help it. And for the 愛 of god, play it with a walkthrough. I won’t tell あなた if あなた should play this game または not, because this is one of those weird titles that kind of needed to be played to form your own opinion on, but it’s not without its good moments. Moments of fun, of charm, and of genuine joy. Just be ready for some really annoying mechanics.