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"The Penguins of Madagascar"
Season 4, Episode 3
Production code: 403
Air Date: ?
Previous: "I Spy", next: "I Smell a Rat"
Seeing Red/Transcript
Scene I: Red's Underground Base
(Red is muttering to himself, dusting)
Red: Ugh. 50 years worth of dust. I have been in here for /50 years/ and i get to cleaning NOW?! I am an idiot!
(Dusts off his control panel)
(A clattering overhead, followed によって a voice echoing "ZOOOOOOOOOO!)
(A thud)
(Camera whips around to Fred)
Fred: Hello. あなた really need to get a mattress for the entrance. That fall hurt.
(Red drops the feather duster and turns around)
Red: Oh. It is you. How many times have i told あなた not to come in here without knocking?
Fred: Ok. (walks over to the nearest ウォール and knocks on it) Can i come in?
Red: (his good eye twitches) あなた already are inside, あなた twit!
Fred: Oh. I am. But, really. あなた need to get something to cushion that fall. (rubs his rear)
Red: あなた DO know that there are other entrances into my evil lair, do あなた not?
Fred: (looks around slowly) Really? I don't see any.
Red: (annoyed) (points to a large circular door behind him) There is one.
Fred: Oh! I never noticed that before! (he walks over to it. Stops, turns around, and sees his footprints left tracks in the dust)
Fred: Wow. あなた really need to clean here! hey! I know what i could do! I could use the last of my acorn jackpot to help you!
(Red perks up at this, suddenly interested)
Red: Would it be to help me finally get my minions? (sinister chuckle)
Fred: I don't know how they could help あなた clean. I was thinking of buying some paint.
Red: Paint?
Fred: yeah. paint. And maybe some throw pillows and a potted plant. This place is a dump.
(Camera pans around the cluttered, dusty room)
Red: It is not a dump! It just needs cleaning!
(Red walks over to open the big door, and empty acorn shells spill out)
Red: Ok. it is a dump! But I meant to clean those up! It has only been 20 years since i have done that!
Fred: Hey, Uncle Red, can i ask あなた a question?
Red: I still can't believe we're related! how could I be related to suck an idiot?!
Fred: Wait...we're related?
Red: (snaps) Of course we are! あなた are my idiotic, acorn-munching nephew!
Fred: (Chews come acorns. Talks with his mouth full) Guilty as charged.
Red: (Continuing, trying to control his anger) Why else would あなた have called me Uncle if we are not related?
Fred: I have an uncle?
(a pause)
Fred: Hey, Uncle Red, did あなた know i have another uncle?
Red: (face-paws) あなた 発言しました あなた had a question. Ask it, and leave me alone, あなた twit!
Fred: Oh yeah. There are two penguins outside your house. Do あなた know them?
Red: Who are they?
Fred: (shrugs) I don't know. But one of them called me "Cupcake. Do I look like my name is "Cupcake"?
Red: (realizes who フレッド is talking about) (outraged) What?!
(Goes over to his periscope and sees Buck Rockgut and Nigel standing outside the entrance to his lair)
Red: How did they get past my ground vibration sensors? And my rockets?!
Fred: Oh. I helped them. they 発言しました they were looking for you.
Red: Just tell me what happened so I can deal with my two greatest foes already!
Fred: Ok. I guess it's flashback time. (He looks up at the ceiling, concentrating hard.)
Red: What on Earth are あなた doing, twit-face?
Fred: 表示中 あなた my flashback. You're not looking in the right spot.
(Turns Red's head to where he is looking)
Fred: See it now?
Red: (snaps) Just tell me what happened!
Scene II: The Park
(!5 分 earlier)
(Nigel and Buck are walking towards Red's lair)
Nigel: I don't know what あなた think you're doing here, Buck. Headquarters decided あなた weren't fit for duty. Besides, aren't あなた supposed to be hunting for The White Widow? Furthermore-
(They jump out of the way of two rockets with roped attached designed to drag them away)
Nigel: (Continuing) Furthermore, あなた were decalred legally dead 48 years 前 after we couldn't find you. I was assigned red's case, so if あなた would kindly-
Buck: (cuts him off. Pushes him out of the way of a leg-trap catch) I won't be doing anything, kindly または not! He was my case first!
Nigel: But in case あなた haven't noticed, あなた were also declared insane once we found あなた again after 47 years after your little "retirement". (air quotes) Now, i don't mean to be unkind, but-
Buck: (cuts him off) "But", nothing! あなた can take your apologies and shove them where the sun don't shine!
Nigel: (Gasps) Why, あなた cheeky, insolent-
(Nigel pushes Buck out of the path of an oncoming シャワー of darts)
Buck: Hm. The darts are a nice touch. Anyways, that's right! あなた can shove that apology right into Hoboken! または maybe a-
Nigel:(cuts him off) Let's just focus on the mission! Seeing as how あなた tagged along, it's too late to send あなた back.
(They pause to rest によって a tree)
(Fred scurries down the tree.)
Fred: (Whispers) What's with all the noise?
Buck: (Whispers) Hey! you! Can あなた help us?
Nigel:(Whispers) Why are we whispering?
Fred: (whispers) My granny is asleep up in that tree.
Buck: Do you, によって any chance, know a リス who calls himself The Red Squirrel? His aliases are The Red Squirrel, The Red Squirrel, and The Red Squirrel. Ever hear of him?
Fred:(Thinks) (Whispers) No. What does he look like?
Buck: He's a squirrel. And he's red. Really skinny. Overgrown teeth and claws. Wears an eye patch.
Fred: Never heard of him. Did あなた guys try the zoo?
Nigel: The Zoo? Whatever for?
Fred: Wait... we have a zoo in the park?
Buck: Are あなた some kind of idiot? あなた just 発言しました to check the zoo, cupcake!
Fred: My name isn't "Cupcake", but if you're looking for a red squirrel, there's always my uncle. He lives downstairs.
(Fred pushes a button concealed bu a knot in the 木, ツリー trunk. A hole in the ground opens)
Fred: But my uncle doesn't live in the-
(He falls in)
Fred: (echoing as he falls in) -ZOOOOOOO!
Scene III: Red's Underground Base
Fred: -and then i fell down, and I said, " Hello. あなた really need to get a mattress for the entrance. That fall-"
Red: (Cuts him off) Yes, but how did they get past my ground vibration sensors?!
Fred: Oh. They walked from behind the tree.
Red: Minions! Remind me to-... oh.
Fred: Who are あなた talking to?
Red: (Grabs a pen and paper) Number two on "To Do" list; Install ground vibration sensors and missiles all around the entrance to my lair.
(Buck and Nigel enter, wading their way through the pile of acorns in the entrance to the big door)
Buck: Yeah, Red. Who /are/ あなた talking to?
Nigel: Caught あなた at last! (assumes a fighting stance)
Red: Just what i needed.... another cause of a headache. Minions! Get me-...Ugh. I'll just get the aspirin myself.
Fred: Oh, こんにちは guys. meet my uncle!
Nigel:(To Fred) (aghast) That conniving villain is your uncle?!
Buck: (To Red) That brainless idiot is your nephew?
Red: Yes, and this devilishly handsome リス is your- (presses a button. Buck and Nigel are restrained against a metal ウォール with shackles. フレッド is cuffed to the ウォール によって his tail) - CAPTOR! Believe me, I do not like it any もっと見る than あなた do. he is a twit!
(Groans and presses a paw to his forehead) Ohh, my head!
(He walks over to his medicine cabinet. Takes out a bottle of aspirin, and swallows one)
Buck: Let us go, あなた dirt-bag!
Red: Call me what あなた are willing to, old-timer, but what makes あなた think i will listen? Like in those movies. The bad guy says to stop, but the hero does it anyway. I never saw the point. So, no. I will not let あなた go!
(He starts laughing manically. It turns into a rasping cough.)
Red: I (coughs) think i fractured my (coughs and wheezes) spleen!
Buck: Ha! And あなた called /me/ old?
Red: (Glares) I /HATE/ being called old! Do not call me old! I am not old! (Presses a button. フレッド is let go) Seeing as how you, my idiot nephew, are of no help または harm to me, i will let あなた go. Now get out of here before i change my mind!
Nigel: Don't just stand there! Help us!
Red: If あなた take one もっと見る step towards them i will...i will never speak to あなた again! Actually, on 秒 thought, go! step towards them!
Fred: Yeah, I'm just gonna go. You're sending me mixed messages.
(Fred walks out the big door)
Fred: Maybe I'll go ask my other uncle. He'll know what to do!
(Buck and Nigel share confused glances)
Red: It is a long story. Never mind. (Calls after Fred) And good riddance! Now, (sinister smile) where were we?
Scene IV: ペンギン Habitat (topside)
(Skipper and the team are doing their daily exercises)
Skipper: Ah! I 愛 the smell of hard work in the morning! (Takes a deep sniff, and then gags)
Kowalski: That's not hard work you're smelling, sir. Rico has bad gas this morning.
Rico: (Breaks wind) Sorry..hehe.
Skipper: Never mind the training, boys. I ロスト my train of thought.
(Fred walks up to the fence of the habitat)
Fred: Hey, um, guys?
Skipper: Bushy-Tail! What seems to be the problem?
Fred: Did あなた guys know i have a 秒 uncle?
Private: I didn't even know あなた had /one/ uncle. Is he nice? Did he just 移動する into the park? Maybe we can send him a welcoming gift, Skipper!
Fred: Oh. I've never met him, but my first uncle lives in a room under a tree. And let me tell あなた something, it is /dusty/ in there! I'm still sneezing! Ah-achoo! (he sneezes on to Skipper's face)
Skipper: Hmm.....Fred has two uncles we've never heard about before... Kowalski, analysis!
(Kowalski says nothing)
Skipper: Fine. Kowalski, /please/ give us あなた analysis!
Kowalski: That's much better, sir. And I feel we have nothing to worry about from Fred's- (to Fred) What did あなた say their names were again?
Fred: What who's name was?
Kowalski: Your uncle.
Fred: Which one?
Kowalski: Both of them.
Fred: Can we be もっと見る specific? I don't know my other one's name, but Uncle Red sure is-
Skipper: (cuts him off) Wait a minute...Uncle /Red/? によって any chance, do あなた know if he calls himself "The Red Squirrel"?
Fred: I don't know. Maybe. At least i /think/ that's what that ugly ペンギン called my uncle before he trapped him and the British one.
Rico: (Grunts) Ugly penguin..? Whaddyatalkin'bout?
Fred: Oh, yeah. That ugly one called me "Cupcake" not once, but twice! I'm going to have to complain about that later! Anyways, Yeah. I think that's what he called my uncle.
Kowalski: The Red リス is your uncle?? Whoa! Didn't see /that/ coming!
Private: Have あなた noticed how a lot of our フレンズ turn out to be related to villains? It's just weird, isn't it, Skipper?
(To Fred) Wait... didn't あなた say he had them trapped? (gulps)
Fred: yeah. They're trapped against this metal wall-thing. Uncle red let me go, though. He really /does/ 愛 me!
Private: Oh my goodness! The Red リス kidnapped my Uncle Nigel and Buck Rockgut! We have to help them!
Skipper: We can't just jump to conclusions here, Private!
Private: But he just said-
Skipper: I know what he just said, but he could be wrong. I mean, come on! This is フレッド we're talking about! Just look at him!
(Camera pans to Fred, picking his nose using his tail)
Fred: Ow! Stupid tail!
Private: Well, can't we just check? Please, Skipper? What if he's right?
Skipper: (reluctantly) Ok, Private. but if he's wrong and you've wasted a trip, no snow-cone for あなた tonight! Let's 移動する out, team!
(The penguins exit their habitat, leaving Fred, still picking his nose)
Scene V: Red's Underground Base
Red: -so, then after フレッド and that idiot キツネザル ...what did they call that hippity-hoppy rap song...? Oh, yes! After they "dropped some acorns on me", i dragged them to my lair, and-
Buck: (yawns) I thought あなた were supposed to be torturing us, not boring us to death. I almost prefer the Hungarian Purple -Nurple to this!
Red: Well, fine! I f あなた do not wish to hear how i found out フレッド was my nephew, then it is your loss! It's a very interesting story! Now, if あなた will excuse me, I need another aspirin!
(He walks off)
Nigel: (Whispers) Luckily for us, old chap, while Red was droning on about his nephew, i thought of an escape plan!
Buck: Well, so did I! And yours had better not be the old "fake ハート, 心 attack" bit, because i remember the last time あなた did that. Your 芝居 was terrible. (Imitates Nigel) "Oh! Mother! is that you, beckoning me into the light? i feel cold! The lights are fading! Goodbye, cruel world!"
(Nigel scoffs)
Buck: Well, あなた sounded ridiculous! An my plan is better. Question: What's the one thing Red hates being called the most?
Nigel: Old? (He realizes Buck's plan. Grins) Ah! Now i see where you're coming from! あなた plan to lure him here によって insulting him, then knock him out and free ourselves! Clever!
Buck: (gruffly, but grins) Yeah, yeah, yeah. Save the compliments for later, あなた tea-drinking old fart!
(He winks)
Nigel: What?...Oh.. I say, Buck, if anyone is old, it's you! You're positively ancient!
Buck: (loudly) Well, the only one older than me is Red over there!
Red: Keep it quiet! I have an awful headache! And hey! Who are あなた two calling old!!? I am the picture of youth! (He hacks and coughs) (Wheezes)
Nigel: Yes, and the picture of youth was outdated in 1967!
(Red takes a step closer)
Red: (angrily) Shut up! I have had enough!
Buck: (cough) You're old! (cough)
Red: That is it! Now あなた two numbskulls must pay the price!
Scene VI: The Park
(Fred is leading the Penguins to the tree)
Fred: This way!
(They stop at the tree)
Skipper: Is this the tree?
Fred: is what the tree?
Skipper: The 木, ツリー that goes to your Uncle's lair!
Fred: My uncle doesn't have a lair.
Skipper: (groans in frustration and smacks his head against the tree, causing the hatch to open)
Fred: Wait. Oh! oh あなた mean Uncle red! I thought あなた meany my other Uncle!
Private: Well, i guess this is the way in.
Kowalski: (looks into it) It would appear that way. Well, who wishes to make the first jump?
Skipper: I'll go! The leader goes first!
(The penguins and フレッド jump in after Skipper)
Scene VII: Red's Underground Base
Red: My plan is so simple that it is foolproof! And-
Buck: What plan?
Red: My plan to turn all acorns into bombs of a sleeping gas to take over the world once all humans are unconscious. Did I not mention this?
Nigel: Not a syllable. I'm assuming あなた were too busy blathering on about how much あなた hate your nephew.
Red: Right! I was!
(Clattering from overhead) ( 5 thumps are heard)
Skipper: Is everyone all right? (Gets onto his feet> Helps the others up)
Private: i think so.
Nigel: Private?? No! What are あなた doing here!? Go!
Buck: And あなた too, Cupcake-... I mean, Skipper! We've got this under control!
Red: Yes. i can see how well あなた have this under control! (Cackles and pushes a button on his console, shacking the penguins and Fred. フレッド is shackled diagonally this time)
Skipper:(Sarcastically) Nice to see あなた again, Buck.
Buck: Same to you. The therapy's worked wonders. によって the way.
Red: Perfect! A larger audience for my plan to take over the world!
Buck: あなた mean your destined-to-fail plan?
Red: See, this is why i hate あなた and Nigel outside of the work environment. あなた never stop mocking me. Always, it is something! Is it /my/ fault i have to wear this stupid eye patch?? Is it /my/ fault i have to live in this dusty dump because of the Poster ペンギン for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder magazine would not stop looking for me even after 47 years? I just want to be loved!
(They all stare at him)
Red: Anyway... my plan- if あなた did not hear it the first time- is to fill all acorns with sleeping gas to knock all humans unconscious while i take over he world! ( maniacal laughter, followed によって a rasping cough) Ohhh... I have got to stop laughing maniacally! Minions, write that on my.... Again! I have to do this myself!
Kowalski: Your plan will not work. It is a scientific impossibility because oak trees do not grow everywhere, and-
Red: I have had enough of your blatherings! I need another aspirin!
Nigel: How did あなた ever find us?
Skipper: Bushy-Tail told us あなた were here... in his own..weird way, but he still did it!
Buck: Cupcake, remind me to thank あなた profusely when we get out of here! than remind me to blow this eyesore off the map after that! This dump makes Grrfurjicklestan seem like a paradise!
Fred: It's not so bad. All it needs is some paint, and some curtains.
Skipper: Buck- I can call あなた Buck, right?
(Bock nods)
Skipper: Sorry. I'm a little starstruck, i mean, it's not every 日 you're in the same room as Special agent Buck Rockgut, the Greatest American ペンギン Spy!
Buck: あなた had a question...?
Skipper: Oh, yeah. Did あなた make an escape plan?
Nigel: Yes. it was insulting him によって calling him old so that he'd be lured here, so we can knock him out and escape.
Kowalski: That's a brilliant plan, but there are flaws. I, on the other flipper, have a better idea! It will improve on your plan!
(Red re-enters the room, holding an ice pack to his head)
Red: Now, i will commence my plan!
Scene VIII: Red's Underground Base
(Camera pans to Red's blueprints as he narrates)
(One shows a jumble of tubes leading to oak 木, ツリー saplings)
Red: I will inject baby oak trees with my solution, since the solution works faster this way!
(The 次 diagram is the trees prematurely growing acorns, with confused humans staring at them)
Red: Then the humans will plant them in the park, among other places, where they will grow acorns!
(The last one shows the acorns spewing gas, unconscious humans, and a crudely drawn picture of Red sitting on a throne)
Red: Then once the humans are unconscious, i become king!
Scene IX: Red's Underground Base
Kowalski: As i 発言しました before, the plan will not work. I fear you're age might be affecting your ability to think logically.
Red: Again with this mockery! Do あなた /want/ to see my bad side?
Fred: i thought this /was/ your bad side.
Red: No, this is /not/ my bad side!
Buck: Nope. This is his usual side. His ugly side.
Red: (Takes a step forward) Oh, now あなた are calling me ugly?!
Private: Well, あなた are rather unpleasant to look at...
Red: (rushes up to Private) You! I remember you! あなた and your stupid glowing moon-horse toy that blinded me for three days straight! あなた will be the first to go on my list!
(Looks at Fred, who resumes picking his nose with his tail)
Red: Um...make that the 秒 one on my list!
Rico: (Grunts) hey! You! Ugly guy!
Red: (Walks over to Rico) (Furiously) What is it?!
(Rico sneezes, and a 雲, クラウド of dust flies in Red's face, causing him to sneeze uncontrollably.)
(He walks backwards, and trips, hitting his head on his console, knocking him out. His paw accidentally presses the button that releases the shackles as he tries to get up)
Skipper: Excellent work, everyone! That was absolutely brilliant!
Buck: あなた can say your mushy-wushy thank-yous later! Now let's blow this Popsicle stand!
Scene X: The Park
(The penguins have Red leaning against the tree. They climb Red's tree, and work their way from 木, ツリー branch to 木, ツリー branch, not stepping on the ground to trigger the traps)
(Red wakes up to find they are on the other side)
Red: (Screams) I will get あなた for this! あなた think あなた have outsmarted me!? I will make あなた pay!
(He takes a step forward. The camera shows his foot stepping on the ground, triggering the ground vibration sensor missiles)
(The missiles fly towards him)
Red: (Looks up, terrified) Oh poopy....
(They crash, one knocking the 木, ツリー over, and the other destroying his lab)
(The ペンギン watch from the other side, eating popcorn)
(A voice from inside the hollow of the tree)
(Granny リス pops out)
Skipper: Oh no! Not /this/ old banshee again!
Granny Squirrel: Rudolphus the Squirrel, how many times have I told あなた not to keep your toys outside?! Now look at what you've done! You've destroyed our home!
Private: (Giggles) His name is Rudolphus!
Red: B-but, Mother, I-i....
Skipper: Mother?! (To Fred) I thought あなた 発言しました she wasn't your grandmother!
Fred: Who isn't my granny?
Skipper: Never mind. (Signals for the other penguins to leave) Come on guys, let's get out of here.
Fred: Wait! I still need help finding my other uncle!
(Camera cuts to Granny リス and Red)
Red: But, Mother! i did not know あなた were napping in there!
Granny Squirrel: I sent フレッド to tell you, but i suppose he got side tracked. Now, go to あなた room, mister! あなた are officially grounded!
Red: (his eye twitches) My room was destroyed.
Granny squirrel: (Grabs him によって the ear and drags him off) Don't あなた dare use that tone with me, young man!
Red: (Is being dragged off) Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
(Screen fades to black)
The End
Voice Cast:
Skipper-Tom McGrath
Kowalski-Jeff Bennett
Private-James Patrick Stuart
Rico- John DiMaggio
The Red Squirrel: Jeff Bennett
Fred: フレッド Stoller
Granny Squirrel: Debbie Reynolds
"The Penguins of Madagascar"
Season 4, Episode 3
Production code: 403
Air Date: ?
Previous: "I Spy", next: "I Smell a Rat"
Seeing Red/Transcript
Scene I: Red's Underground Base
(Red is muttering to himself, dusting)
Red: Ugh. 50 years worth of dust. I have been in here for /50 years/ and i get to cleaning NOW?! I am an idiot!
(Dusts off his control panel)
(A clattering overhead, followed によって a voice echoing "ZOOOOOOOOOO!)
(A thud)
(Camera whips around to Fred)
Fred: Hello. あなた really need to get a mattress for the entrance. That fall hurt.
(Red drops the feather duster and turns around)
Red: Oh. It is you. How many times have i told あなた not to come in here without knocking?
Fred: Ok. (walks over to the nearest ウォール and knocks on it) Can i come in?
Red: (his good eye twitches) あなた already are inside, あなた twit!
Fred: Oh. I am. But, really. あなた need to get something to cushion that fall. (rubs his rear)
Red: あなた DO know that there are other entrances into my evil lair, do あなた not?
Fred: (looks around slowly) Really? I don't see any.
Red: (annoyed) (points to a large circular door behind him) There is one.
Fred: Oh! I never noticed that before! (he walks over to it. Stops, turns around, and sees his footprints left tracks in the dust)
Fred: Wow. あなた really need to clean here! hey! I know what i could do! I could use the last of my acorn jackpot to help you!
(Red perks up at this, suddenly interested)
Red: Would it be to help me finally get my minions? (sinister chuckle)
Fred: I don't know how they could help あなた clean. I was thinking of buying some paint.
Red: Paint?
Fred: yeah. paint. And maybe some throw pillows and a potted plant. This place is a dump.
(Camera pans around the cluttered, dusty room)
Red: It is not a dump! It just needs cleaning!
(Red walks over to open the big door, and empty acorn shells spill out)
Red: Ok. it is a dump! But I meant to clean those up! It has only been 20 years since i have done that!
Fred: Hey, Uncle Red, can i ask あなた a question?
Red: I still can't believe we're related! how could I be related to suck an idiot?!
Fred: Wait...we're related?
Red: (snaps) Of course we are! あなた are my idiotic, acorn-munching nephew!
Fred: (Chews come acorns. Talks with his mouth full) Guilty as charged.
Red: (Continuing, trying to control his anger) Why else would あなた have called me Uncle if we are not related?
Fred: I have an uncle?
(a pause)
Fred: Hey, Uncle Red, did あなた know i have another uncle?
Red: (face-paws) あなた 発言しました あなた had a question. Ask it, and leave me alone, あなた twit!
Fred: Oh yeah. There are two penguins outside your house. Do あなた know them?
Red: Who are they?
Fred: (shrugs) I don't know. But one of them called me "Cupcake. Do I look like my name is "Cupcake"?
Red: (realizes who フレッド is talking about) (outraged) What?!
(Goes over to his periscope and sees Buck Rockgut and Nigel standing outside the entrance to his lair)
Red: How did they get past my ground vibration sensors? And my rockets?!
Fred: Oh. I helped them. they 発言しました they were looking for you.
Red: Just tell me what happened so I can deal with my two greatest foes already!
Fred: Ok. I guess it's flashback time. (He looks up at the ceiling, concentrating hard.)
Red: What on Earth are あなた doing, twit-face?
Fred: 表示中 あなた my flashback. You're not looking in the right spot.
(Turns Red's head to where he is looking)
Fred: See it now?
Red: (snaps) Just tell me what happened!
Scene II: The Park
(!5 分 earlier)
(Nigel and Buck are walking towards Red's lair)
Nigel: I don't know what あなた think you're doing here, Buck. Headquarters decided あなた weren't fit for duty. Besides, aren't あなた supposed to be hunting for The White Widow? Furthermore-
(They jump out of the way of two rockets with roped attached designed to drag them away)
Nigel: (Continuing) Furthermore, あなた were decalred legally dead 48 years 前 after we couldn't find you. I was assigned red's case, so if あなた would kindly-
Buck: (cuts him off. Pushes him out of the way of a leg-trap catch) I won't be doing anything, kindly または not! He was my case first!
Nigel: But in case あなた haven't noticed, あなた were also declared insane once we found あなた again after 47 years after your little "retirement". (air quotes) Now, i don't mean to be unkind, but-
Buck: (cuts him off) "But", nothing! あなた can take your apologies and shove them where the sun don't shine!
Nigel: (Gasps) Why, あなた cheeky, insolent-
(Nigel pushes Buck out of the path of an oncoming シャワー of darts)
Buck: Hm. The darts are a nice touch. Anyways, that's right! あなた can shove that apology right into Hoboken! または maybe a-
Nigel:(cuts him off) Let's just focus on the mission! Seeing as how あなた tagged along, it's too late to send あなた back.
(They pause to rest によって a tree)
(Fred scurries down the tree.)
Fred: (Whispers) What's with all the noise?
Buck: (Whispers) Hey! you! Can あなた help us?
Nigel:(Whispers) Why are we whispering?
Fred: (whispers) My granny is asleep up in that tree.
Buck: Do you, によって any chance, know a リス who calls himself The Red Squirrel? His aliases are The Red Squirrel, The Red Squirrel, and The Red Squirrel. Ever hear of him?
Fred:(Thinks) (Whispers) No. What does he look like?
Buck: He's a squirrel. And he's red. Really skinny. Overgrown teeth and claws. Wears an eye patch.
Fred: Never heard of him. Did あなた guys try the zoo?
Nigel: The Zoo? Whatever for?
Fred: Wait... we have a zoo in the park?
Buck: Are あなた some kind of idiot? あなた just 発言しました to check the zoo, cupcake!
Fred: My name isn't "Cupcake", but if you're looking for a red squirrel, there's always my uncle. He lives downstairs.
(Fred pushes a button concealed bu a knot in the 木, ツリー trunk. A hole in the ground opens)
Fred: But my uncle doesn't live in the-
(He falls in)
Fred: (echoing as he falls in) -ZOOOOOOO!
Scene III: Red's Underground Base
Fred: -and then i fell down, and I said, " Hello. あなた really need to get a mattress for the entrance. That fall-"
Red: (Cuts him off) Yes, but how did they get past my ground vibration sensors?!
Fred: Oh. They walked from behind the tree.
Red: Minions! Remind me to-... oh.
Fred: Who are あなた talking to?
Red: (Grabs a pen and paper) Number two on "To Do" list; Install ground vibration sensors and missiles all around the entrance to my lair.
(Buck and Nigel enter, wading their way through the pile of acorns in the entrance to the big door)
Buck: Yeah, Red. Who /are/ あなた talking to?
Nigel: Caught あなた at last! (assumes a fighting stance)
Red: Just what i needed.... another cause of a headache. Minions! Get me-...Ugh. I'll just get the aspirin myself.
Fred: Oh, こんにちは guys. meet my uncle!
Nigel:(To Fred) (aghast) That conniving villain is your uncle?!
Buck: (To Red) That brainless idiot is your nephew?
Red: Yes, and this devilishly handsome リス is your- (presses a button. Buck and Nigel are restrained against a metal ウォール with shackles. フレッド is cuffed to the ウォール によって his tail) - CAPTOR! Believe me, I do not like it any もっと見る than あなた do. he is a twit!
(Groans and presses a paw to his forehead) Ohh, my head!
(He walks over to his medicine cabinet. Takes out a bottle of aspirin, and swallows one)
Buck: Let us go, あなた dirt-bag!
Red: Call me what あなた are willing to, old-timer, but what makes あなた think i will listen? Like in those movies. The bad guy says to stop, but the hero does it anyway. I never saw the point. So, no. I will not let あなた go!
(He starts laughing manically. It turns into a rasping cough.)
Red: I (coughs) think i fractured my (coughs and wheezes) spleen!
Buck: Ha! And あなた called /me/ old?
Red: (Glares) I /HATE/ being called old! Do not call me old! I am not old! (Presses a button. フレッド is let go) Seeing as how you, my idiot nephew, are of no help または harm to me, i will let あなた go. Now get out of here before i change my mind!
Nigel: Don't just stand there! Help us!
Red: If あなた take one もっと見る step towards them i will...i will never speak to あなた again! Actually, on 秒 thought, go! step towards them!
Fred: Yeah, I'm just gonna go. You're sending me mixed messages.
(Fred walks out the big door)
Fred: Maybe I'll go ask my other uncle. He'll know what to do!
(Buck and Nigel share confused glances)
Red: It is a long story. Never mind. (Calls after Fred) And good riddance! Now, (sinister smile) where were we?
Scene IV: ペンギン Habitat (topside)
(Skipper and the team are doing their daily exercises)
Skipper: Ah! I 愛 the smell of hard work in the morning! (Takes a deep sniff, and then gags)
Kowalski: That's not hard work you're smelling, sir. Rico has bad gas this morning.
Rico: (Breaks wind) Sorry..hehe.
Skipper: Never mind the training, boys. I ロスト my train of thought.
(Fred walks up to the fence of the habitat)
Fred: Hey, um, guys?
Skipper: Bushy-Tail! What seems to be the problem?
Fred: Did あなた guys know i have a 秒 uncle?
Private: I didn't even know あなた had /one/ uncle. Is he nice? Did he just 移動する into the park? Maybe we can send him a welcoming gift, Skipper!
Fred: Oh. I've never met him, but my first uncle lives in a room under a tree. And let me tell あなた something, it is /dusty/ in there! I'm still sneezing! Ah-achoo! (he sneezes on to Skipper's face)
Skipper: Hmm.....Fred has two uncles we've never heard about before... Kowalski, analysis!
(Kowalski says nothing)
Skipper: Fine. Kowalski, /please/ give us あなた analysis!
Kowalski: That's much better, sir. And I feel we have nothing to worry about from Fred's- (to Fred) What did あなた say their names were again?
Fred: What who's name was?
Kowalski: Your uncle.
Fred: Which one?
Kowalski: Both of them.
Fred: Can we be もっと見る specific? I don't know my other one's name, but Uncle Red sure is-
Skipper: (cuts him off) Wait a minute...Uncle /Red/? によって any chance, do あなた know if he calls himself "The Red Squirrel"?
Fred: I don't know. Maybe. At least i /think/ that's what that ugly ペンギン called my uncle before he trapped him and the British one.
Rico: (Grunts) Ugly penguin..? Whaddyatalkin'bout?
Fred: Oh, yeah. That ugly one called me "Cupcake" not once, but twice! I'm going to have to complain about that later! Anyways, Yeah. I think that's what he called my uncle.
Kowalski: The Red リス is your uncle?? Whoa! Didn't see /that/ coming!
Private: Have あなた noticed how a lot of our フレンズ turn out to be related to villains? It's just weird, isn't it, Skipper?
(To Fred) Wait... didn't あなた say he had them trapped? (gulps)
Fred: yeah. They're trapped against this metal wall-thing. Uncle red let me go, though. He really /does/ 愛 me!
Private: Oh my goodness! The Red リス kidnapped my Uncle Nigel and Buck Rockgut! We have to help them!
Skipper: We can't just jump to conclusions here, Private!
Private: But he just said-
Skipper: I know what he just said, but he could be wrong. I mean, come on! This is フレッド we're talking about! Just look at him!
(Camera pans to Fred, picking his nose using his tail)
Fred: Ow! Stupid tail!
Private: Well, can't we just check? Please, Skipper? What if he's right?
Skipper: (reluctantly) Ok, Private. but if he's wrong and you've wasted a trip, no snow-cone for あなた tonight! Let's 移動する out, team!
(The penguins exit their habitat, leaving Fred, still picking his nose)
Scene V: Red's Underground Base
Red: -so, then after フレッド and that idiot キツネザル ...what did they call that hippity-hoppy rap song...? Oh, yes! After they "dropped some acorns on me", i dragged them to my lair, and-
Buck: (yawns) I thought あなた were supposed to be torturing us, not boring us to death. I almost prefer the Hungarian Purple -Nurple to this!
Red: Well, fine! I f あなた do not wish to hear how i found out フレッド was my nephew, then it is your loss! It's a very interesting story! Now, if あなた will excuse me, I need another aspirin!
(He walks off)
Nigel: (Whispers) Luckily for us, old chap, while Red was droning on about his nephew, i thought of an escape plan!
Buck: Well, so did I! And yours had better not be the old "fake ハート, 心 attack" bit, because i remember the last time あなた did that. Your 芝居 was terrible. (Imitates Nigel) "Oh! Mother! is that you, beckoning me into the light? i feel cold! The lights are fading! Goodbye, cruel world!"
(Nigel scoffs)
Buck: Well, あなた sounded ridiculous! An my plan is better. Question: What's the one thing Red hates being called the most?
Nigel: Old? (He realizes Buck's plan. Grins) Ah! Now i see where you're coming from! あなた plan to lure him here によって insulting him, then knock him out and free ourselves! Clever!
Buck: (gruffly, but grins) Yeah, yeah, yeah. Save the compliments for later, あなた tea-drinking old fart!
(He winks)
Nigel: What?...Oh.. I say, Buck, if anyone is old, it's you! You're positively ancient!
Buck: (loudly) Well, the only one older than me is Red over there!
Red: Keep it quiet! I have an awful headache! And hey! Who are あなた two calling old!!? I am the picture of youth! (He hacks and coughs) (Wheezes)
Nigel: Yes, and the picture of youth was outdated in 1967!
(Red takes a step closer)
Red: (angrily) Shut up! I have had enough!
Buck: (cough) You're old! (cough)
Red: That is it! Now あなた two numbskulls must pay the price!
Scene VI: The Park
(Fred is leading the Penguins to the tree)
Fred: This way!
(They stop at the tree)
Skipper: Is this the tree?
Fred: is what the tree?
Skipper: The 木, ツリー that goes to your Uncle's lair!
Fred: My uncle doesn't have a lair.
Skipper: (groans in frustration and smacks his head against the tree, causing the hatch to open)
Fred: Wait. Oh! oh あなた mean Uncle red! I thought あなた meany my other Uncle!
Private: Well, i guess this is the way in.
Kowalski: (looks into it) It would appear that way. Well, who wishes to make the first jump?
Skipper: I'll go! The leader goes first!
(The penguins and フレッド jump in after Skipper)
Scene VII: Red's Underground Base
Red: My plan is so simple that it is foolproof! And-
Buck: What plan?
Red: My plan to turn all acorns into bombs of a sleeping gas to take over the world once all humans are unconscious. Did I not mention this?
Nigel: Not a syllable. I'm assuming あなた were too busy blathering on about how much あなた hate your nephew.
Red: Right! I was!
(Clattering from overhead) ( 5 thumps are heard)
Skipper: Is everyone all right? (Gets onto his feet> Helps the others up)
Private: i think so.
Nigel: Private?? No! What are あなた doing here!? Go!
Buck: And あなた too, Cupcake-... I mean, Skipper! We've got this under control!
Red: Yes. i can see how well あなた have this under control! (Cackles and pushes a button on his console, shacking the penguins and Fred. フレッド is shackled diagonally this time)
Skipper:(Sarcastically) Nice to see あなた again, Buck.
Buck: Same to you. The therapy's worked wonders. によって the way.
Red: Perfect! A larger audience for my plan to take over the world!
Buck: あなた mean your destined-to-fail plan?
Red: See, this is why i hate あなた and Nigel outside of the work environment. あなた never stop mocking me. Always, it is something! Is it /my/ fault i have to wear this stupid eye patch?? Is it /my/ fault i have to live in this dusty dump because of the Poster ペンギン for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder magazine would not stop looking for me even after 47 years? I just want to be loved!
(They all stare at him)
Red: Anyway... my plan- if あなた did not hear it the first time- is to fill all acorns with sleeping gas to knock all humans unconscious while i take over he world! ( maniacal laughter, followed によって a rasping cough) Ohhh... I have got to stop laughing maniacally! Minions, write that on my.... Again! I have to do this myself!
Kowalski: Your plan will not work. It is a scientific impossibility because oak trees do not grow everywhere, and-
Red: I have had enough of your blatherings! I need another aspirin!
Nigel: How did あなた ever find us?
Skipper: Bushy-Tail told us あなた were here... in his own..weird way, but he still did it!
Buck: Cupcake, remind me to thank あなた profusely when we get out of here! than remind me to blow this eyesore off the map after that! This dump makes Grrfurjicklestan seem like a paradise!
Fred: It's not so bad. All it needs is some paint, and some curtains.
Skipper: Buck- I can call あなた Buck, right?
(Bock nods)
Skipper: Sorry. I'm a little starstruck, i mean, it's not every 日 you're in the same room as Special agent Buck Rockgut, the Greatest American ペンギン Spy!
Buck: あなた had a question...?
Skipper: Oh, yeah. Did あなた make an escape plan?
Nigel: Yes. it was insulting him によって calling him old so that he'd be lured here, so we can knock him out and escape.
Kowalski: That's a brilliant plan, but there are flaws. I, on the other flipper, have a better idea! It will improve on your plan!
(Red re-enters the room, holding an ice pack to his head)
Red: Now, i will commence my plan!
Scene VIII: Red's Underground Base
(Camera pans to Red's blueprints as he narrates)
(One shows a jumble of tubes leading to oak 木, ツリー saplings)
Red: I will inject baby oak trees with my solution, since the solution works faster this way!
(The 次 diagram is the trees prematurely growing acorns, with confused humans staring at them)
Red: Then the humans will plant them in the park, among other places, where they will grow acorns!
(The last one shows the acorns spewing gas, unconscious humans, and a crudely drawn picture of Red sitting on a throne)
Red: Then once the humans are unconscious, i become king!
Scene IX: Red's Underground Base
Kowalski: As i 発言しました before, the plan will not work. I fear you're age might be affecting your ability to think logically.
Red: Again with this mockery! Do あなた /want/ to see my bad side?
Fred: i thought this /was/ your bad side.
Red: No, this is /not/ my bad side!
Buck: Nope. This is his usual side. His ugly side.
Red: (Takes a step forward) Oh, now あなた are calling me ugly?!
Private: Well, あなた are rather unpleasant to look at...
Red: (rushes up to Private) You! I remember you! あなた and your stupid glowing moon-horse toy that blinded me for three days straight! あなた will be the first to go on my list!
(Looks at Fred, who resumes picking his nose with his tail)
Red: Um...make that the 秒 one on my list!
Rico: (Grunts) hey! You! Ugly guy!
Red: (Walks over to Rico) (Furiously) What is it?!
(Rico sneezes, and a 雲, クラウド of dust flies in Red's face, causing him to sneeze uncontrollably.)
(He walks backwards, and trips, hitting his head on his console, knocking him out. His paw accidentally presses the button that releases the shackles as he tries to get up)
Skipper: Excellent work, everyone! That was absolutely brilliant!
Buck: あなた can say your mushy-wushy thank-yous later! Now let's blow this Popsicle stand!
Scene X: The Park
(The penguins have Red leaning against the tree. They climb Red's tree, and work their way from 木, ツリー branch to 木, ツリー branch, not stepping on the ground to trigger the traps)
(Red wakes up to find they are on the other side)
Red: (Screams) I will get あなた for this! あなた think あなた have outsmarted me!? I will make あなた pay!
(He takes a step forward. The camera shows his foot stepping on the ground, triggering the ground vibration sensor missiles)
(The missiles fly towards him)
Red: (Looks up, terrified) Oh poopy....
(They crash, one knocking the 木, ツリー over, and the other destroying his lab)
(The ペンギン watch from the other side, eating popcorn)
(A voice from inside the hollow of the tree)
(Granny リス pops out)
Skipper: Oh no! Not /this/ old banshee again!
Granny Squirrel: Rudolphus the Squirrel, how many times have I told あなた not to keep your toys outside?! Now look at what you've done! You've destroyed our home!
Private: (Giggles) His name is Rudolphus!
Red: B-but, Mother, I-i....
Skipper: Mother?! (To Fred) I thought あなた 発言しました she wasn't your grandmother!
Fred: Who isn't my granny?
Skipper: Never mind. (Signals for the other penguins to leave) Come on guys, let's get out of here.
Fred: Wait! I still need help finding my other uncle!
(Camera cuts to Granny リス and Red)
Red: But, Mother! i did not know あなた were napping in there!
Granny Squirrel: I sent フレッド to tell you, but i suppose he got side tracked. Now, go to あなた room, mister! あなた are officially grounded!
Red: (his eye twitches) My room was destroyed.
Granny squirrel: (Grabs him によって the ear and drags him off) Don't あなた dare use that tone with me, young man!
Red: (Is being dragged off) Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
(Screen fades to black)
The End
Voice Cast:
Skipper-Tom McGrath
Kowalski-Jeff Bennett
Private-James Patrick Stuart
Rico- John DiMaggio
The Red Squirrel: Jeff Bennett
Fred: フレッド Stoller
Granny Squirrel: Debbie Reynolds
