Princess Celestia

Starring Celestia, Luna, Twilight, and Derpy as theirselves
Blaze as Jonathan (For this skit, he's bald.)
Cosmic 虹 as Chrysler (For this skit, he has a mustache.)
Mortomis as Bryan
Saten Twist as Timothy
Double Scoop as Skeletor
Master Sword as Harry
Sophie Shimmer as Alexis
Astrel Sky as Jenny

Lots of ponies were gathering at the main hall in Celestia's castle.

Bryan: *With Harry* There seems to be a lot of ponies that want to compete in this event.
Harry: *Carrying a glass of champagne* Nonsense. Absolute nonsense. The worst part is that I got invited.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: *Drinks champagne*
Twilight: *With Luna* Man, I'm gonna own everypony with my badass drivin' skills.
Luna: あなた got a big mouth, but remember that I'm only here to fill in a position. *Whispers* I've heard from Jenny that Princess Celestia has been insulting everypony here. She says that she will shove red shells up everypony's plots.
Twilight: Man, Jenny must be goin' deaf. Dat job belongs to me.

Meanwhile in Celestia's office.

Derpy: You're groundbeef.
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: あなた really think あなた can make insults better then me? Get that trash out of here! Here's how it's done, behold! I'm going to shove my hoof so far up your ass, that あなた will be puking out my horseshoe polish, into Europe.
Audience: *Laughing*

At Ponyville

Celestia Guard: *Driving truck with loudspeaker on the roof* Be prepared for Celestia's very first Super Kart Race, taking place at the Canterlot Raceway near her castle. Tickets are ten dollars each, and they can only be purchased online.
Applejack: That's bullshit! I'm too poor to have the internet!
Audience: *Laughing*

The 次 day, Celestia, Derpy, Twilight, Luna, Jenny, Bryan, Harry, Chrysler, and Alexis were participating in the race. It was just like Mario Kart.

Audience: *Laughing*
Lakitu: *Holding a traffic light. The light turns red*
Racers: *Waiting for light to turn green*
Lakitu: *Changes light to yellow, and after five seconds, he changes it back to red*
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: Oh, for crying out loud! Start the race!
Lakitu: *Turns light green*

Everypony took off really fast past the starting line.. Except for Celestia. Her kart went five miles an hour, and broke down.

Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: あなた have got to be kidding.
Twilight: *In first place*
Luna: *About to pass Twilight, but slows down for the turn up ahead*
Twilight: *Turns right, and picks up a green shell* Who shall be my very first victim? *Shoots green shell backwards*
Derpy: *Looking at green shell* How pretty. *Drives into green shell*

Her kart went flying into a house where everypony was dancing.

Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: *Very drunk, and crashes into Chrysler*
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: *Trying to get her kart to start* This is a sack load of human shit.
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: Why must all the bad things happen to me?
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: *Dominating the race*
Jenny: *Drops bomb*
Luna: *Drives into bomb* I don't wanna get sent back to the moon!
Audience: *Laughing*
Jenny: *About to pass Twilight* Why don't あなた taste my fury? Take this! *Crashes into warp pipe*
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: Nigga please.
Audience: *Cheering, and clapping*
Celestia: *Gets her kart started* What the hell took so long?! It's about time-
Twilight: Get out of the way! *Crashes into Celestia's kart*
Audience: *Laughing*
Alexis: *Gets a blue shell, and shoots it at Twilight*
Celestia: *Gets a star* Now あなた will all taste my wrath! *Crashing into everypony*
Twilight: Man, your powers are good, but mine are better. *Gets a powerup, and is now driving a sports car*
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: Introducing the Twilight Mobile. *Gets a power up*
Car: Defense mechanisms, on.
Twilight: *Shoots ミサイル at Alexis*
Alexis: *Gets hit によって missile*
Twilight: Vengeance! Would anypony else like their plot to be kicked?
Derpy: Did everypony forget about me? *Driving a tank*
Audience: *Clapping*
Celestia: *Sees Derpy's tank* What's that?!!!?
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: This isn't a race anymore! It's a combination of screw ups, and insanity!
Twilight: *Drops バナナ peel*
Derpy: Do あなた really think that'll stop me? *Drives over バナナ peel, and gets her tank to land on it's side*
Audience: *Laughing*

Twilight won the race.

Celestia: *Very angry* Derpy あなた unreliable dumbass!!
Audience: *Laughing*

Two hours later.

Derpy: *Walks into Celestia's office, and sees Celestia at her desk* It appears Twilight Sparkle won the Super Celestia Kart. What is your opinion?
Celestia: You're actually gonna tell me that you're surprised によって this? But let's talk about you! あなた had a battletank! Idiot!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: あなた had an opportunity to win, but あなた allowed yourself to get beaten によって a Mary Sue. あなた suck!
Audience: Don't be mean to Derpy!
Celestia: Go to timeout for your imcompetence! *Bangs on desk* TIMEOUT!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: *Banging on desk* Timeout! Timeout!

Back on the block.

Master Sword: Well, this has been yet another good episode.
Tom: And we had three Toms. Me, Tom Selleck played によって Saten Twist, and Tom Cruise, played によって Blaze.
Master Sword: There were two other Tom's here?
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Yeah.
Master Sword: How come one of them wasn't Thomas The Tank Engine?!
Tom: He's on an island, and has no way to get here.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: And now, we're starting a new segment on this 表示する that we like to call, brony of the month.
Master Sword: And for November's Brony of the month, we start it off with ladies first. The Brony of the 月 reward goes to Dragonaura15!
Audience: *Cheering*
Tom: She really deserves it. Dragonaura15 is one of the kindest pegasisters ever.
Master Sword: One of the kindest? She's nicer than anyone I know. She is the #1 pegasister ever! Congratulations girl!
Audience: *Clapping*

And now, it's the end.

This has been a SeanTheHedgehog production.

書く fanfics for two years! That's right, this 日 starts my two 年 anniversary of being on this club.