Chapter 15,

March 17, 2008,

Damien and I have been dating for a while now and I turned 14 a few days ago. I'm still managing to keep our relationship a secret from my dad and I don't see anything ruining that in the near future. Damien turns 17 at the end of this year.

I was getting ready to leave the house and go to the スケート Park. After I snuck out, I went to our usual meeting place that the guys and I had picked out. When I got there, Damien walked up to me and gave me a kiss. Our immature フレンズ started saying "gross; あなた two are always キス each other!" I asked "would あなた rather us make out in front of you?" Brandon rolled his eyes and Damien 発言しました "that's what I thought! あなた guys just wait until あなた have girlfriends! AJ and I are going to make so much fun of you!” I kissed him again just to get on their nerves and the two of us chuckled.

The two of us started walking down the 通り, ストリート and Damien took out his wallet. He 発言しました "wait till あなた see what I got yesterday!" I asked "what?" He passed me a card and 発言しました "my driver’s license! Now I don't have to drive around with my mom in the car anymore!" I 発言しました "that's cool! The only thing that sucks is that あなた don't have a car of your own yet." He 発言しました "I might get a job soon so; it won't be long before I do have one." I laughed and 発言しました "it's hard to picture あなた driving! I wish あなた could take me somewhere!" He 発言しました "my mom doesn't like me driving her car または else I would." I 発言しました "I have an idea!" He rolled his eyes and 発言しました "oh boy; I can't wait to hear this!" I 発言しました "my dad parks his car nowhere near our house and he always leaves the keys in it because no one goes over there." Damien raised his eyebrows and asked "so what you're telling me is that we should just take your dad's car without him knowing?" I laughed and 発言しました "that's exactly what I'm saying!"

Damien is a troublemaker too so; he didn't put too much thought into my plan and we casually made our way to where the car is. We walked up to the black Rolls-Royce and Damien's mouth dropped as he asked "this is your dad's car?" I constantly have to remind myself that he doesn't know who my dad is and I 発言しました "yeah; there it is." He 発言しました "wow; your dad's a good businessman!" I 発言しました "yeah; now あなた see why he has to hide the car all the way over here in the middle of nowhere." I opened the car door and took the keys out. I pass them to Damien and he 発言しました "oh man; I can't believe I get to drive this awesome car!"

He started the car up and I 発言しました "whatever あなた do; don't crash because then I'll have to come clean to my dad about sneaking out and dating you!" He 発言しました "I passed my driver’s test on the first try so; there's nothing to worry about!" He drove down to the local movie rental place and the two of us got out of the car. I asked "what are we doing here?" He 発言しました "I saw the TV that is built into the back シート, 座席 and figured we could watch a few movies! I'll use my movie card because I always pick up 映画 on my way ホーム from school and I can rent as many 映画 as I want to for only $15 a month." I asked as we walked inside "what movie did あなた want to get?" He 発言しました "let's get Spiderman three because I haven't seen that yet." We went and checked out our movie and then got back into the car.

Damien and I climbed into the back シート, 座席 and started the movie. Soon after the movie started, it reached a boring part and we started making out. After a few minutes, Damien 発言しました "you know; あなた are 14 now." I 発言しました "so" and he 発言しました "maybe it's time we take that 次 step!" Millions of thoughts came into my head and I asked "you're talking about sex; right?" He smiled and 発言しました "yes!" I 発言しました "okay" and he took off my shirt.

によって the time he had gotten to my jeans, he was already in his boxers. Just as we were about to start, I was remembering the talk that dad and I had on the ビーチ that 日 back in 2006. I looked at Damien and asked "wait; do あなた have a condom on you?" He 発言しました "we'll be fine without one!" I asked hesitating a little bit "what makes あなた think that?" He 発言しました "all three of the guys have already ロスト their virginity and they didn't use condoms! I'll just pull out before it gets too intense. Trust me; there's nothing to worry about! I know it will work!" I 発言しました "well; as long as あなた promise that you’ll pull out then we can have sex!" He got excited and 発言しました "I will; I promise!"

Afterwards, Damien and I brought the car back to where it belongs. He walked with me until we were about three blocks away from my house. I didn't want him to see where I lived because then he would know that Michael Jackson is my dad. He leaned in to キッス me and I 発言しました "I didn't know losing your virginity was supposed to hurt this bad!" He 発言しました "it didn't hurt me!" I 発言しました "I knew my first time was supposed to hurt because I'm a girl but; this is way worse than I thought it would be!" He 発言しました "it should be better によって tomorrow but; I have to get going before my mom starts to worry."

March 18, 2008,

I came downstairs and was still in excruciating pain from losing my virginity last night and walked into the living room. Dad walked up behind me and 発言しました "good morning AJ!" He kissed my forehead and 発言しました "I 愛 you!" I 発言しました "I 愛 あなた too." As I sat down on the couch, Blanket came over and sat on my lap and I 発言しました "ouch!" Before I realized that I 発言しました that out loud, dad asked "what's wrong?" I 発言しました "oh nothing; I just slept on my back all night long without rolling over and I'm a little sore." He 発言しました "just go upstairs and sleep for a while; it should feel better after that!"

I have to admit that sleeping sounded pretty good because of the amount of pain I was in. I went upstairs and ended up sleeping for seven hours straight. When I woke up, I was feeling a lot better and wasn't worried anymore about dad finding out!

April 10, 2008,

I'm pacing around my bedroom because I bought a pregnancy test. I'm really worried at this point because I've had all the early signs of being pregnant. I closed my eyes and then open them as I looked down at the pregnancy test. I picked it up and took a closer look as I saw a ピンク plus sign on it. I immediately started crying as I held my head in my hands and sat down on the bed. I picked up my cell phone and texted "Damien; I need to tell あなた something!" He responded 20 分 later によって saying "what's going on?" My fingers stroked the keyboard on my cell phone as I tried to figure out what to say

I finally just took a picture of the pregnancy test and sent it to Damien. He responded "what is that?" I asked "what does it look like?" He 発言しました "alright AJ; this joke really isn't funny anymore!" I 発言しました "IT'S NOT A JOKE DAMIEN!" I waited for a response for over an 時 but there wasn't one.

I knew that I would eventually have to tell my dad EVERYTHING so; I just wanted to get it over with. I opened my bedroom door and asked "dad; can あなた come in my room for a minute?" He smiled and 発言しました "of course!" I shut the door and he 発言しました "it's been a long time since I've spent time with あなた alone." I took a deep breath as I sat back down on my ベッド and 発言しました "I want to talk to you." He 発言しました "okay" and I 発言しました "I think あなた should sit down!" He pulled my computer chair across from me and 発言しました "alright; I'm sitting!" I 発言しました "before I really start talking I need あなた to promise me that あなた won't interrupt?" He 発言しました "okay; I promise!"

As I got up the courage to start the conversation, I stared at his smile and perfect teeth. I took a deep breath and 発言しました "I haven't been as well behaved as あなた think I have since we got to Vegas. There are three things that I need to tell you. The first thing is that I've been sneaking out of the house since we moved here!" He raised his eyebrows and I 発言しました "the 秒 thing is that I have boyfriend!" His eyes widened as big as saucers and mouth slightly opened.

Before I could get to the third thing, dad asked under his breath "you've been sneaking out of the house? あなた have boyfriend?" I shook my head in agreement and he 発言しました "you're not 16 years old yet! What are あなた doing sneaking out of the house and dating some guy?" I 発言しました "no one knows what my face looks like in public because I wear my mask when I'm out with あなた so; no one notices me when I'm not wearing it!" He 発言しました "you've been going out of the house without your mask on!" I shook my head again and he asked with clear irritation in his voice "who is this boy you're dating???" I 発言しました "his name is Damien and I met him at an alley a few blocks away from here. We hang out at the スケート Park together all the time and I've made a few other フレンズ also!" Dad asked "how old is he?" I took a deep breath and whispered so quietly that he couldn't hear me. He asked "what?" I 発言しました "he'll be 17 at the end of this year." Dad's mouth dropped wide open and 発言しました "17; he's going to be 17 によって the time you're almost 15!!!" He started to get really angry with the fact that I had a boyfriend and that he is two years older than I am!

Dad slammed his fist down on my nightstand and 発言しました "I'm not angry with あなた but; this guy must be really stupid if he thinks dating a 14-year-old is okay!" He looked up at me and asked "what was the third thing that あなた wanted to tell me?" I 発言しました "I don't think I can tell あなた so; I'll 表示する you."

My hand shook as I passed dad the positive pregnancy test and he looked down at it. He literally didn't say anything for 15 分 as he stared down at it. I saw tears pour down his face as he shook his head in disbelief. He asked "you're pregnant?" I started to cry because of how emotional he was and 発言しました "yes!" He 発言しました "well; there goes your childhood forever! I tried so hard to make sure that あなた had the chance to be a kid! You're only 14 years old and you're going to be a mother!!!" He wiped tears away and 発言しました "you knew I didn't want あなた having sex and あなた went and did it anyway! Where did あなた two have sex?" I hesitated and he asked "WHERE DID あなた TWO HAVE SEX?" I 発言しました with a shaky voice "in the Rolls-Royce." He 発言しました as he put his hands on the 上, ページのトップへ of his head "in my car? あなた HAD SEX IN MY CAR!!!"


Dad started gagging and 発言しました "even though I don't want あなた having sex; I thought I explained to あなた the importance of using a condom! If you're going to have sex even though I told あなた not to; I would want あなた to use a condom! Why didn't this Damien kid put one on?" I 発言しました while wiping away tears "he didn't have one and he told me that he would pull out before things got too intense!" Dad looked at me in disgust as he pictured what I was describing and 発言しました "Alanna; don't listen to a guy when they say that! It doesn't work; trust me!!!" I 発言しました while sobbing "yeah; I can see that now!"

My dad saw that reality was hitting me and hitting me hard! He sat down 次 to me on the ベッド in silence as he stared at the pregnancy test once more. He hugged me and squeezed me as tight as he possibly could! He 発言しました trying to console me "I know; it's going to be hard but; we’ll get through it! I smiled up at him and he 発言しました "there's always a positive side! あなた have a human being growing inside あなた and that's one of God's greatest gifts! You're going to have to grow up fast but; I'll be here to help あなた every step the way!" I asked calming myself down "are あなた mad at me dad?" He 発言しました the words no child wants to hear "no; but I am disappointed in you!" We got up and he went over to my closet. He took out my baseball bat and 発言しました "I don't want to hear あなた complain; you're 表示中 me where Damien’s house is!"

Dad and I pulled up in front of Damien's mother's house. We both got out of the car and he opened up the trunk. He took the baseball bat out and I asked "what do あなた need that for?" He didn't answer me and I 発言しました "don't hurt him daddy!" Dad looked at me as we walked up the front steps and 発言しました "I'm not making any promises!"

I knocked on the door and Damien’s mom answered it. She didn't notice dad at first and 発言しました "hi AJ!" Her eyes slowly moved over to dad and she asked while stuttering "are あなた Michael Jackson?" Dad 発言しました "yes I am; is Damien here?" She 発言しました "come on in; he's in the living room." We walked inside and Damien was sitting on the couch. Damien looked up in shock at the fact that Michael Jackson was standing in his living room!

Before Damien could say anything, dad grabbed him によって his T-shirt and pinned him up against the wall! Kate asked "WHAT DO あなた THINK YOU'RE DOING TO MY SON?" Dad 発言しました "WHY DON'T あなた ASK YOUR SON?" Damien looked at me confused and I 発言しました "well; あなた finally met my dad!" Damien asked "MICHAEL JACKSON IS YOUR DAD???" I 発言しました "yup" and Kate asked "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? I'M SO CONFUSED!" Dad 発言しました "apparently; Damien got Alanna pregnant!" She looked at Damien and 発言しました "WHAT!" Damien 発言しました with a nervous laugh "congratulations grandma!" Dad 発言しました as he raised his fist to パンチ him "I DON'T FIND THIS FUNNY AT ALL あなた LITTLE ASSHOLE!!!"

I lowered dad's fist away from Damien's face and 発言しました "can't we just talk about this without all the screaming!" Dad took a deep breath and released his grip on Damien’s シャツ and 発言しました "you're right." Kate gestured for dad and I to sit down on the ソファー, ソファ 次 to them. She went and got some snacks for us to eat while dad tried to intimidate Damien with the stare he was giving him. When Kate came back into the room, I 発言しました "all right; if we're going to have this conversation we need to do it without the yelling because that's not going to get us anywhere."

Damien looked at my dad and waited for him to say something. Dad looked at Kate with the same expression of disbelief on his face. Kate just shook her head over and over because she couldn't believe that I was actually pregnant. Dad interrupted the silence によって asking "what would make あなた think that it's okay for あなた to 日付 a 14-year-old?" Damien 発言しました "I don't think two years is that much of an age difference between AJ and I." Dad 発言しました "okay well; I disagree with that. How come あなた didn't use protection?" Damien stuttered "I – I didn't think we needed too. I thought if I pulled out nothing would happen." Kate rolled her eyes and 発言しました "that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth Damien and you’ve 発言しました a lot of stupid things before." Dad 発言しました "that obviously didn't work! Damien let out a deep sigh and 発言しました "yeah; I know!" Kate 発言しました "you seem like あなた don't care Damien! I don't think あなた understand the gravity of the situation! There is a baby growing inside of Alanna right now and you're the whole reason the baby is there in the first place!" Dad nodded in agreement and 発言しました "you took the words right out of my mouth." Kate 発言しました "this is so much to take in at once! First I find out that AJ's father is Michael Jackson! Then I find out あなた and AJ had sex! Then to 上, ページのトップへ it all off, you're going to be a father at 16 years old!" Dad 発言しました "tell me about it! I think everyone should just take a few days before we really talk about this because this is a lot to take in."

As dad and I got back into his car, we both looked at each other in silence before he turned the key in the ignition. I 発言しました "I'm really sorry Dad. I didn't want any of this happened so soon!" He 発言しました "I know あなた didn't… It's just really disappointing and it hurts!" I just looked down at my feet because I knew there's nothing I could have 発言しました to make the situation any better. I remember looking at dad and just thinking to myself "I wonder what he's thinking about? I really hurt him this time; I can tell によって the look on his face!!!”

April 12, 2008,

Dad and I haven't really talked about me being pregnant since we left Damien's house a few days 前 because he doesn't want my siblings to find out just yet. I was up in my room lying in my bed, when dad came in and shut the door behind him. He asked "can I talk to あなた for a minute?" I looked up at the ceiling and 発言しました "yeah sure." He sat down on my ベッド and smirked down at me.

He 発言しました as he held my hand "I've been thinking… I was wondering what do あなた want to do with the baby?" I 発言しました "well; I'm of course going to keep it!" He asked with a worried tone in his voice "are あなた sure about that? It's a lot of work taking care of a baby and it's not just for a few years; you're making a lifelong commitment! Changing diapers, feeding, bathing, going to doctors’ appointments… IT'S A LOT OF WORK!" I 発言しました "I'll make it through it!" He 発言しました "I'd like to offer あなた something and it's up to あなた whether または not あなた like the idea. I won't be upset if あなた don't go along with it.” I looked up at him and asked "what?" He sighed and 発言しました "I thought I was done with having もっと見る children at this point in my life. I'm willing to adopt your baby and raise it as my own that way; あなた can have your childhood back and be able to see the baby every day!” I 発言しました "it's nice of あなた to offer to do something for me like that but; I want to be a mom. I think it would be kind of awkward to hear the baby call me sister and for me to know that he または she is really my child!" Dad 発言しました "that's okay; I understand where you're coming from. It was just a thought that I had last night. If you're going to raise this baby though; あなた have to get your act together! あなた can't put yourself first anymore because あなた have a child that depends on you! あなた can't constantly be getting yourself into trouble! I just want to make it very clear that if あなた really want to do this then you're going to be the one taking care of the baby, not me! I'm not saying that I won't help あなた out every now and then but; it's your responsibility." I shook my head in agreement and he hugged me.

April 16, 2008,

Dad and I were cleaning up the キッチン when we heard frantic knocking on the front door. He opened up the door and Kate ran inside. Dad looked around to see if my siblings were upstairs then, he asked "what's wrong?" She 発言しました as she sat down at the 表, テーブル "I don't know where Damien is! I think the reality of being a dad was getting to him and he ran away! He won't answer my phone calls but; he's been on his MySpace page!" Dad asked "when was the last time あなた saw him?" She 発言しました "the 日 あなた came over! He seemed fine after あなた left! When I woke up the 次 morning, all the money in my wallet was gone and my credit cards too!" Dad 発言しました "well; he must be planning be gone for a while if he took your credit cards!" She 発言しました "I'm not going to キャンセル them because he might need them to buy food!" Dad asked "did あなた check the 最近 charges made on your account? We might be able to find out where he is!" Kate 発言しました "I already checked! Wherever he is; he doesn't want us to find him because he's being really smart about what he buys with my credit cards. What I really want him to do is rent a hotel room because then we can find him!" I interrupted "trust me; he wouldn't be that stupid! I'm a troublemaker too so I understand his brain!" Kate 発言しました "the police 発言しました that there's nothing they can do because Damien's 16 and if he doesn't want to come ホーム they wouldn't be able to make him!" Dad 発言しました "keep an eye on your credit cards Kate because the only choice we have right now is to hope that he'll slip up または just decide to come home! For the time being, at least we know he has money on him."

1 million thoughts went through my mind as I stood there at the キッチン counter while the two of them had their conversation. That idiot; I can't believe he would leave me like this and without even saying anything. He's the one who got me pregnant and he can't just bail on me like that. When he gets back I'm going to give him up to my mind! He can't take it back now because I'm already pregnant!

April 22, 2008,

Dad is having a man named Dr. Murray come over to the house today so I can have my first ultrasound. I would've wanted Damien here for this but; there's still no sign of him! He did finally call his mom though but only to say that he's not coming home! I don't like how this whole situation is starting to play out and I hope Damien comes to his senses because I don't want to do this on my own!

Dad and Dr. Murray shook hands and I lay down on the couch. Dr. Murray asked with a thick Jamaican accent "are あなた excited to be a mother?" I 発言しました "it hasn't really sunk in yet!" While he prepped me for the ultrasound, he and dad made small talk. Dad 発言しました "I heard that あなた specialize in cardiology." Dr. Murray 発言しました "primarily yes; this is just something I do on the side." He scanned my stomach and 発言しました "well; there's definitely only one baby in there; that's for sure! Dad took a sigh of relief and 発言しました "thank God it's only one!" I asked "how long will it be until I can find out if it's a boy または a girl?" He 発言しました "10 もっと見る weeks until あなた can find out." Dad asked "don't あなた want it to be a surprise?" I 発言しました "I have to know as soon as possible! I can't wait nine months; did あなた forget who あなた are talking to?" Dad and I both started laughing and he 発言しました "oh yeah!"

Dr. Murray wrote on a notepad and 発言しました "I've done the math and it looks like your due 日付 should be November 18th of this year." As I got up off of the couch, I asked "will あなた come back in 10 weeks so I can find out the gender of the baby?" He smiled and 発言しました "of course I will; let me give あなた a prescription for your prenatal vitamins before I leave."

May 5, 2008,

I was in my room surfing the Internet and stared at Damien's MySpace page. I was hoping that he would magically start a conversation with me but; that didn't happen. Dad came into my room and sat down 次 to me. He 発言しました "I need to talk to あなた about something and I don't know how you're going to react.” I raised my eyebrows and asked "what?" He 発言しました "I'm going on tour again!" I 発言しました "I don't know why あなた think I would react badly to that; that's so awesome!" He sighed and 発言しました "that's not the part I'm worried about."

He hesitated over and over before I 発言しました "just tell me already!" He 発言しました "we're moving back to LA for now and eventually to ロンドン where the concerts will be." I 発言しました "back to LA? Then to London? We can't move! What if Damien comes back?" Dad looked at me sympathetically and 発言しました "sweetheart; I think you're in denial about Damien! I don't think he's coming back." I looked at him as I shook my head and 発言しました "he's going to come back!" Dad grabbed my hand and 発言しました "I don't think he is AJ." I pulled away and 発言しました raising my voice "YOU'RE WRONG; YOU'LL SEE!"

Dad looked at the desperation in my eyes as I refuse to believe what he was telling me. I sat down on the ベッド and he sat down 次 to me. I 発言しました "HE DIDN'T DITCH ME; HE WOULDN'T DO THAT!" Dad hugged me and in that moment I realized that he was right. I continued to repeat "he didn't abandon me; DAMIEN'S COMING BACK" as I started to sob uncontrollably. Dad could hardly understand me as I repeated that phrase over and over again.

Dad passed me a tissue and I 発言しました crying to an uncontrollable point "I can't do this alone!" Dad smiled down at me as he wiped my tears with his sleeve and 発言しました "who 発言しました あなた would be alone? You've got me; don't you?" I smiled and 発言しました "I guess." He 発言しました "guessing has nothing to do with it! I'm here for あなた now and I'm never leaving! I'll never abandon あなた like Damien did! He's an immature jerk and needs to grow up! I think it's best that he stays wherever he is right now because if he comes back I'll kick his ass!!!"

I started laughing and dad asked "what's so funny?" I 発言しました "sorry; I can't help it! It's so weird hearing あなた swear; I'm not used to it!" He smiled as if he didn't even notice that he swore and 発言しました "I'm angry with Damien! Not for leaving but; for hurting you!" I couldn't care less about him being around because I don't think he'd be a good influence on あなた または the baby but seeing あなた so desperately want him here hurts me もっと見る than あなた could imagine! Hurt me; I don't care! Hurt my baby and you'll regret it! I actually think that staying away is the only smart thing I've seen him do since I met him!" The two of us laughed and I 発言しました "I think you're right about that one" as he put his arm around me.

May 9, 2008,

After dad found a place for us to live in California, we moved into it yesterday. Dad reluctantly decided to invite the rest of the Jackson family over for dinner, of course not including my grandfather.

As I was tossing the empty cardboard boxes out of my new bedroom, dad came in and sat down on my bare mattress. He 発言しました "I think what we should do is tell Grace and your siblings that you're pregnant now. Then we'll tell everyone else at ディナー tonight." I sighed and 発言しました "okay; I want to get this over with!"

The two of us walked downstairs and went to gather them. All of us sat down on the ソファー, ソファ and dad 発言しました "AJ needs to tell あなた guys something." I 発言しました "I'm going to be having a baby." Prince and Paris smiled while Blanket looked at me with a confused look on his face. He asked" where did the baby from?" Dad and I both looked at each other while we searched for the right answer. Dad 発言しました "a special hug." I had to force myself not to laugh at dad's explanation and Blanket asked "who did AJ hug? Dad lightly thumped the back of my head to get me to stop laughing and 発言しました "a friend of hers." Paris 発言しました "that means I'm going to be an aunt and あなた guys are going to be uncles!" Blanket hugged me and asked "when is the baby going to come out of your tummy?" I 発言しました "not until November" as Grace pulled dad and I into the other room.

She shut the door behind her and asked "are あなた really pregnant?" I 発言しました "I wouldn't joke about something like this! Yes I really am pregnant!" She asked "Michael how long have あなた known?" He 発言しました "since the beginning of April." She asked "who's the father?" Dad 発言しました "his name is Damien but; I don't think you'll be seeing too much of him! He skipped town and hasn't contacted any of us since." Grace looked shocked as she tried to comprehend the idea of me being a mother. Dad 発言しました "trust me; AJ understands that it's not going to be easy! She wants to raise the baby on her own and あなた and I will be here to help her if she needs us." She asked "how do あなた think the rest of the family is going to react?" He 発言しました "all I can say right now is that I'm glad Joseph isn't coming because he would blame everything on me!"

After ディナー had been served, dad, my uncles, aunts, my grandmother, and I all sat down in the living room. Uncle Jackie asked "how come あなた invited us over for ディナー Michael?" Dad looked at me and asked "do あなた want me to tell everyone?" I 発言しました "yeah; they will take あなた better if it's coming from you!" Uncle Randy asked "what's going on?" Dad 発言しました "well; Alanna's pregnant. Before あなた ask, the baby's father is nowhere to be found and we don't expect to hear from him anytime soon!" I looked at my grandmother and asked "are あなた okay grandma?" She 発言しました "I didn't expect あなた to be a grandfather so soon Michael." Dad 発言しました "I know; I'm surprised によって it too!" Aunt Janet asked "when the baby due?" I 発言しました "November 18 of this year."

I was surprised when they each congratulated me and 発言しました they would be there for support. After they left, dad 発言しました "that went better than I expected!" I 発言しました "I'm just glad it didn't turn into a screaming match!" Dad 発言しました "I thought for sure that one of them would accuse me of not being involved enough with あなた to stop あなた from getting pregnant!" I 発言しました "I don't think あなた would've been able to stop me either way. あなた know how I am; I do whatever I want to do in the moment!"

June 4, 2008,

Dad was in the middle of his first 日 of rehearsals for his "this is it" tour when I called him. He answered his phone and asked frantically like any concerned father would "what's wrong? Are あなた okay?" As he responded to me he 発言しました "don't feel bad! I'll be right there!" He hung up his cell phone and Kenny Ortega the director of the tour asked "is everything all right Michael?" Dad 発言しました "yeah; AJ has been having morning sickness and accidentally threw up all over her bathroom floor. Grace isn't ホーム because she took the other children out shopping so; I'll be back in an 時 after I finish cleaning up the bathroom." Kenny 発言しました "okay; it's time for a break anyway." Dad yanked his car keys off a nearby 表, テーブル and walked out the door as he adjusted the Fedora hat on his head.

About 15 分 later, I could hear his footsteps coming up the stairs as he called out "I'm coming AJ." He opened up my bedroom door and I was sitting on my bed. He walked up to my bathroom and looked down at the ground. He looked back up at me as I was about to say something but; I just started crying. He looked at me sympathetically and asked as he sat down on the ベッド "what's wrong?" I 発言しました "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! I was so close but –" he 発言しました "Alanna; it's okay! It's もっと見る normal than あなた think it is." I 発言しました "I know that you're not mad at me." He raised his eyebrows and asked "then why are あなた crying?" I 発言しました "I honestly don't know! I've literally been crying like this on and off since they all went shopping! I was watching TV when a commercial break started and I burst out crying because I didn't want to watch commercials! How stupid is that? I can't believe I was crying over freaking commercials!"

Dad chuckled as he grabbed a roll of paper towels from the cabinet under my bathroom sink. He 発言しました "it must be the mood swings!" I asked confused "mood swings; really?" He 発言しました as he cleaned up the floor "yes; that's part of being pregnant! You're supposed to have mood swings!" I asked "how many もっと見る times am I going to cry like this?" He 発言しました as he shut off the bathroom light "the entire pregnancy; every now and then probably!" I 発言しました with tears flowing from my eyes "I'm going to be like this until November! I don't cry dad! This isn't who I am! I think I've only cried five times since I was 10!" He couldn't help but laugh at how overdramatic I was being and I 発言しました as I cried into a tissue "it's not funny dad!"

He sat down 次 to me on my ベッド and 発言しました still trying to hide his laughter "I'm sorry; I've never seen あなた like this and from my point of view it is really funny!" I lay down on my ベッド and propped myself up with pillows. I looked at the TV and screamed as I sobbed uncontrollably "not もっと見る commercials! Why do they always have to have commercials at the best part of the show?" He chuckled into his arm and asked "why don't あなた just watch a movie that way there isn't any commercials?" I 発言しました in between sobs "because this is a good 表示する and that skinny little dog is going to get adopted and, and –!" Dad got up and 発言しました "I think that's my cue to leave now!" He laughed as he got up from my ベッド and 発言しました "have fun crying your eyes out!" I playfully threw a throw 枕 at his head as he shut my bedroom door.

June 23, 2008,

It was the middle of the night when I walked down to dad's bedroom. He was fast asleep but; I barely tapped him and he jumped up. He frantically asked "did your water break?" I rolled my eyes and 発言しました "daddy I've only been pregnant for 2 1/2 months! It's nowhere near time for that yet!" He rubbed his eyes and asked "what's the matter?" I 発言しました "I'm hungry!" He 発言しました "then go downstairs and get something to eat." I 発言しました "I don't want anything down there!" He yawned and asked "then what do あなた want?" I 発言しました "KFC" and he looked at his alarm clock. He 発言しました "it's two in the morning and あなた want me to get あなた Kentucky fried chicken." I pouted "please; that's what the baby wants!" He smiled and 発言しました "I can't say no to you." I 発言しました "thank あなた daddy!" He 発言しました as he hugged me "yeah, yeah, yeah!"

25 分 later, he walked into my room carrying a big bag of 食 and sat down on my bed." As he took container after container out of the bag, I asked "why did あなた get so much?" He 発言しました "well; there's no way I'm going to be able to fall right back asleep now so, I might as well eat with you!" I 発言しました as I began to fill my plate with 食 "sorry for waking あなた up in the middle of the night to go get me KFC dad." He 発言しました "that's alright; I know あなた can't help it! If Damien was here that's what he'd be doing anyway and I told あなた that あなた weren't going to do this whole pregnancy thing alone! If that means I have to make late-night runs to get あなた whenever you're craving then so be it!" I hugged him as I stuffed my face and he laughed. This was the first of many craving trips I would send him on during these nine months!

July 11, 2008,

I came downstairs and 発言しました "come on Dr. Murray hurry up and get here already! I want to know now!" Dad 発言しました down 次 to me on the ソファー, ソファ and asked as he laughed at my apparent excitement "will あなた chill out? You're going to make yourself go into early labor!" I 発言しました "I can't; I need to know now if I'm having a boy または a girl!"

I heard the front door open and pretty much dragged Dr. Murray into the living room. Dad 発言しました as Dr. Murray sat down to start prepping "I have something I’d like to ask あなた Dr. Murray." He responded "yes?" Dad 発言しました "well; I've started rehearsing for my 'this is it’ tour and I'd like to hire あなた as my permanent physician from this point on to the end of the tour. My コンサート promoters have agreed to pay あなた six figures a year!" Dr. Murray was taken aback at the amount and 発言しました "of course; anything for あなた Michael!" Dad 発言しました "great; you'll start 次 week and accompany me to each of my rehearsals at the Staples Center."

I cleared my throat to break their conversation and Dr. Murray 発言しました "oh yeah; I forgot why I came here in the first place!" He started scanning my stomach and 発言しました "alright; let's see what we've got here. As he moved the computer マウス across the screen dad 発言しました with a smile on his face "oh; I think I can tell what it is already!" I 発言しました "be quiet you; don't ruin this moment!" Dad 発言しました "I wasn't going to!" I 発言しました "shhhh" as Dr. Murray zoomed in. Dr. Murray 発言しました "okay; it looks like it's a baby…… Boy!"

I jumped up and pointed my finger at dad. I 発言しました "I knew it was a boy! I told あなた so!" Dad 発言しました "I was for sure it would be a girl!" Dr. Murray 発言しました as he packed up his stuff "now あなた can start decorating and picking out names!" I 発言しました "it didn't really matter to me whether it was a boy または girl! I was dying to know just so I could start picking out names!" Dad rolled his eyes and 発言しました "oh boy; this is going to be fun!" He walked Conrad Murray to the door and 発言しました "meet us at the Staples Center at 9 o'clock on Tuesday! Welcome to team Jackson!" Dr. Murray thanked dad as he shut the door behind him.

July 6, 2008,

My stomach has really started to 表示する but; it's pretty easy to hide it under the baggy clothes I like to wear. Still no sign of Damien and he's really starting to make me mad I wish he would at least respond to my phone calls. He talks to his mom all the time but; won't tell her where he is.

There was a knock at the front door and I got off the ソファー, ソファ to answer it. I was surprised to see Kate Damien's mother standing there. I hugged her and called for my dad to come downstairs. He walked up to her and gave her a hug before he asked "what brings あなた here?" She 発言しました "just because Damien doesn't want to be a dad doesn't mean I can't be a grandma! I found a cheap flight here from Las Vegas and was wondering if I could stay with あなた guys for about a week?" Dad 発言しました "of course あなた can! We have lots to fill あなた in on!"

Dad brought snacks to the coffee 表, テーブル in the living room and the three of us sat down to talk." Kate looked at my stomach and 発言しました "awww you're getting a baby bump!" I 発言しました "yeah I know; it's weird for me!" Dad and Kate both 発言しました "it's weird for us too!" I 発言しました as I looked at her "dad and I found out whether it's a boy または a girl; did あなた want to know?" She 発言しました "well; obviously!" Dad 発言しました "you're going to have a grandson." I smiled as her face lit up and I asked "what do あなた want the baby to call you? Dad already decided he wants to be called Poppa." She 発言しました "I like just the traditional grandma." Dad 発言しました "being called grandpa would make me feel old! That's why I picked Poppa!" She chuckled and 発言しました "you look like もっと見る of a Poppa than あなた would as grandpa!" I adjusted myself on the ソファー, ソファ and 発言しました "the baby's kicking." Kate placed her hand on my stomach and a tear rolled down her face. I hugged her and asked "what's wrong?" She composed herself and 発言しました "I want あなた to know that I don't agree with the way Damien's 芝居 right now. I tried to convince him that he needs to come ホーム and help あなた but; he just hangs up on me! I hope you'll allow me to be an active part of the baby's life!" I 発言しました baffled that she wouldn't think she would be able to be a part of her grandson's life "of course あなた can! あなた don't ever have to worry about that! I'll never stop あなた from seeing him! I can definitely use the help after the baby is born!" She took a sigh of relief and 発言しました "I'm sorry that my son is so immature!" Dad 発言しました "you don't have to feel bad about that because it's not your fault! あなた did your best and single mom and Damien didn't really have his father around as a good role model. Alanna asks me for help if she needs something; even if it's something crazy!" Kate laughed and asked "what crazy things has she had あなた do?" Dad and I laughed and he 発言しました "she's had me go to just about every fast 食 restaurant in Los Angeles! Most of the time she wakes me up at 1 AM to go get the food. That isn't the easiest thing to do when you're Michael Jackson!" I laughed and 発言しました "Kate; あなた should of seen the look on his face when I asked him to rub my feet yesterday!" Dad 発言しました "don't get too used to it because once that baby's born I'm done with that!" I laughed and said" I might as well take advantage of あなた while I can! I would be making Damien did the same thing if he were here!" Kate 発言しました "well; あなた can ask me for help while I'm here so your dad can have a break!" Dad hugged her and 発言しました "finally; I won't 表示する up to tour rehearsals tired, at least for a week." She asked eagerly "when is my grandson due?" Dad 発言しました "November 18." She 発言しました "I'm going to take off a few days before and after the baby is born so I can be here for the birth and to help out." I 発言しました "the three of us should go shopping and look at baby names together this week!" She clapped her hands with joy and 発言しました "it's been a while since I've been able to buy baby things; we're going to have so much fun this week!"

I'm glad that Kate is going to be supportive even though Damien isn't! That takes a lot of the weight off of dad's shoulders and I know that I will be able to ask her for アドバイス about things that dad wouldn't know about! I'm still really mad at Damien though because the baby isn't even born yet and he is already being selfish!

July 9, 2008,

Kate, dad, and I was sitting in the living room while Grace had taken my siblings to the movies. I opened up my laptop and 発言しました "we should look at baby names!" Dad opened up your computer and went on to a pregnancy website as well. Kate sat down 次 to me so she could see the names as I scrolled through a 一覧 of thousands. She pointed at one and I shook my head in disagreement. Dad 発言しました "you could name the baby –" and I interrupted によって saying "I'm not naming him Prince Michael the third dad!" Kate 発言しました "please don't; it would be too confusing!" I 発言しました "you don't have to worry about me choosing Prince because I narrowed my choices down to two names. I'll choose one of them as his first name and the other one as his middle name. The two of あなた can help me figure out which is which but; don't try to change my mind because I'm dead set on these names!" Kate asked "what names did あなた pick?" I 発言しました "I picked out Carter and Shawn." Dad 発言しました "really? あなた should pick a strong majestic African name! I like Rafiq!"

Kate and I both looked at each other and burst out laughing. I asked "what the heck kind of name is that?" Kate 発言しました "that sounds like a character in the lion King!" I 発言しました "he's not going to be able to spell that when he gets older! I don't want anything too weird または something with like 20 letters in it!" Dad started laughing and Kate 発言しました "I personally like Shawn better as the first name but; it's up to あなた AJ!" Dad 発言しました "I like Carter better!" I 発言しました "you guys don't make this any easier on me! Carter Shawn, または Shawn Carter? What one do I like better?" I wrote both options down on a piece of paper and asked "which one looks better to あなた guys. Kate grabbed the piece of paper from me and dad looked at it from over her shoulder. They both 発言しました in unison "Carter Shawn! Yeah; definitely Carter Shawn!" I 発言しました "good because that looks better to me too!" Dad kissed my stomach and 発言しました "hi little Carter Shawn! I can finally stop calling あなた baby または it!"

July 11, 2008,

Today is Kate's last stay here because she has to go back to work in two days. She was sitting in the living room with the family and 発言しました "there; I bought my tickets for November so; I can be here a few days before Carter is born and stay here a few days after his birth." I 発言しました "since today is your last 日 here; you, dad, and I should go to 赤ちゃん R us!" Kate 発言しました as I put on my feathered mask" I'm so excited!" Dad 発言しました "I'm just letting あなた know beforehand that the paparazzi can be a little annoying and whatever あなた do don't respond to their questions! As far as I'm concerned; they can think that I'm shopping for someone else's baby! Word can't get out yet that AJ's pregnant because it will be complete disaster!" Kate nodded her head and 発言しました "don't worry; I won't say anything!"

As we got into dad's Rolls-Royce and he put the key in the ignition, Kate 発言しました "this car is amazing!" Dad 発言しました "thanks; it was definitely well worth the money I paid for it!" Kate 発言しました "I didn't know that あなた can drive Michael!" He 発言しました "yeah I do drive myself places but; it's not very often when I'm able to!" I 発言しました "next year; あなた have to teach me how to drive dad because I'll be old enough to get my drivers permit!" He 発言しました "yeah; don't remind me!"

When we got to the store, word had gotten out that we had moved back to Los Angeles and the paparazzi had crowded the entrance. We got out of the car and shoved our way through. Once the manager realized who my dad was, he got everyone else to leave the store so none of us would have ファン coming up and interrupting us!

As they walked down the aisles, Kate asked "is it this crazy every time あなた guys go out?" I 発言しました "every single time! That's why us kids wear masks in public that way; when were not with dad we don't have to wear them and we can live as normal a life as possible." She 発言しました "I never looked at it that way; that's a really smart idea!" Dad 発言しました "there's always a method to my madness that people don't understand! The paparazzi just jump to conclusions and say whatever they want about me. Most of the time, what they say is just downright mean; especially when they say things like wacko Jacko! または they call the children socially deprived because of my life!" Kate 発言しました "well; I don't believe any of that crap!"

I looked at one of the shelves and 発言しました "there's baby wipe warming machines; really?" Kate chuckled as she put it in the カート and 発言しました "well yeah; あなた don't want the baby to freeze!" Dad laughed and 発言しました "that brings back memories from when あなた were little AJ!" I picked out a furniture set and then we went over to pick out a car seat. I stood there with Kate and dad and we must've looked at 50 different styles. I 発言しました "I didn't know that picking out a car シート, 座席 would be this hard; each one is adorable!" Dad 発言しました "there's a red and black one over there inside the matching stroller!" The 秒 I saw it I 発言しました "this is the one!"

After we gave the store the shipping address for all the big items, we went outside into the ambush of paparazzi waiting for us. They shouted "how's your health Michael? When did あなた 移動する back to LA? Will your brother's be part of the new tour? Who are あなた shopping for? Who is this woman? Is she your new wife? Is she your girlfriend? Are あなた having another child Michael?"

Dad gently guided me into the back シート, 座席 while Kate sat in the passenger seat. We quickly sped off and Kate 発言しました "Michael; I can't believe they just assume that I'm either your girlfriend または your wife!" Dad laughed and 発言しました "anytime I go out in public with a female they ask that! It could be a 90-year-old woman for God's sake and I'll see the タイトル of a magazine say 'wacko Jacko is getting married to the wrinkly woman of his dreams!" We all burst out laughing and I 発言しました "we all just learn to laugh at it because we can't really do much about it!" She 発言しました "I've had so much fun with あなた guys! It sucks that I have to leave tomorrow and at 9 AM!" Dad 発言しました "I don't want あなた to leave either because we all had fun with you! Most of all though; it means that I'm going to have to get up in the middle of the night again!" I 発言しました "I'm going to miss the weird conversations あなた and I had at midnight while we ate the fast 食 あなた picked up!" Kate 発言しました "don't forget that I'll be back when you're still pregnant, a couple of days before あなた have Carter so it isn't the last fast 食 conversation the two of us have!" I hugged her and we drove back to the house.

October 2, 2008

Dad came into my room and sat down 次 to me. He 発言しました "only one もっと見る 月 left until little Carter Shawn it here!" I 発言しました "I'm so done being pregnant; everything hurts!" He 発言しました "I wish we could find somebody to paint a mural to go along with the nursery side of your bedroom!" I 発言しました as I smiled "I think I know a guy!" He 発言しました "you should call him because we have to paint the nursery today!"

3 hours later there was a knock at the front door and I heard a whole bunch of feet shuffle up the stairs. Dad opened my bedroom door and 発言しました "AJ; your フレンズ are here!" Colton, Sketch, and Brandon stood in front of me and we gave each other fist bumps. I asked "dad is it okay to use spray paint on the walls?" Dad 発言しました "yeah but; あなた can't be around it until the room airs out from the smell because あなた are pregnant." I 発言しました okay; these are my フレンズ that I was telling あなた about, Brandon Colton, and Sketch." Dad looked at me puzzled as we left the room and asked "why do they call him Sketch?" I put my hand on his shoulder and 発言しました "you'll see!"

Over five hours later, the guys came downstairs and 発言しました "it doesn't smell like spray paint anymore and we're done the mural so; あなた can check it out!" We all went back upstairs and I slowly turned the doorknob to my room. Dad and I stood there staring at the one ウォール in my bedroom with giant graffiti letters that say 'Carter ‘in all different shades of blue. Dad 発言しました "this is amazing! あなた guys are really talented artists! Now I can see why they call あなた Sketch!" Brandon smiled and 発言しました as he fist bumped me "no problem; it's the least we could do! We're really sorry that Damien is being such a jerk! Every time he gets on his MySpace page, we tell him that he needs to get his butt here to LA and be with you! Oh and によって the way; thanks for paying for our flight down here Mr. Jackson!" Dad 発言しました "of course and now that I see that あなた guys are nothing like Damien is, あなた can hang out with AJ もっと見る often! Probably not a lot now because her first priority is being a mother but; every now and then is fine!"

November 16, 2008,

I was sitting on the ソファー, ソファ when the doorbell rang. I yelled "dad; I think Kate is here!" He opened the door and 発言しました "it's so nice to see あなた again!" She ran into the living room to see me and 発言しました "hi AJ!" I 発言しました "hi; I would get up to hug あなた but; I'm stuck!" All three of us started laughing and Kate sat down so I could hug her. She 発言しました "you look exhausted!" I rubbed my eyes and 発言しました "I am; I just want him out now!" Dad 発言しました "I don't think you'll be saying that when he is ready to come out!" Kate chuckled and asked "did あなた set up all the nursery stuff we bought in your bedroom?" Dad 発言しました "I'm sure you've heard from the guys that Damien and AJ hang out with that they painted the mural on the bedroom wall." Kate 発言しました "they still haven't stopped talking about it! They were like 'dude; Michael Jackson's house is huge! We've never legally spray-painted anything before! He paid us $500 each for that one mural! He seems like such an awesome dad; AJ is so lucky!'" Dad 発言しました "we wanted to wait until あなた came to set up the furniture because あなた helped us pick everything out." She 発言しました "well; come on! I want to go see the mural too!" I asked "okay but; one of あなた needs to help me up because I wasn't exaggerating when I 発言しました I was stuck!" The two of them laughed as they helped a very pregnant me off of the couch.

The three of us made our way upstairs as I grabbed onto dad for support. I opened my bedroom door and Kate was shocked によって the state of my room. She 発言しました "the mural looks amazing but; there are clothes everywhere! Not to mention all the video games cases all over the floor!" Dad 発言しました "I was planning on cleaning up in here a few hours before AJ comes back from the hospital." She 発言しました "that's fine; I'll clean it! Just promise me that あなた won't let your room get like this again after the baby is born!" Dad 発言しました "I'll make sure that she doesn't let it get like this again because I won't stand for it with a baby around!" She took a sigh of relief and 発言しました "that's good!"

As she picked up things in my room she noticed the ウォール opposite of the one with the mural on it. Almost 100 posters of Jesse McCartney were taped up there and dad 発言しました "oh; I see you've discovered Alanna's secret infatuation with J – Mac!" I 発言しました "dad; I can call him that but; it's creepy when あなた do!" によって the way Kate; I don't have an obsession with Jesse McCartney; no matter what my dad says!" She 発言しました as she pointed at the ウォール "you can't tell me that あなた don't have an obsession with him with a ウォール like this! You're lucky that Damien can't see this because he would probably rip them all down! He hates the boy band type singers! He ripped all of his sisters Jonas Brothers posters down because I think he's jealous that they have girls falling all over them!" Dad chuckled and 発言しました "alright; enough about Jesse McCartney! We've got some decorating to do!"

November 18, 2008,

We were all sitting at the キッチン 表, テーブル when I got up and dad asked nervously "where are あなた going?" I 発言しました "calm down dad! I'm just going to the bathroom! When the baby is coming; you'll be the first to know!" Kate rolled her eyes and 発言しました "oh my gosh Michael; AJ and I weren't nervous at all but; you're making us nervous! The last thing we need it for AJ to be nervous!"

I whispered from down the hall "Kate; come here!" She walked over secretively and saw that I was standing in a bloody puddle. She 発言しました "your dad's going to freak out!" She walked out back into the キッチン and dad asked "where's AJ?" She calmly responded "her water just broke." Dad stared at her in shock for a few 秒 and 発言しました "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, WE'VE GOT TO GO NOW!!!" Kate 発言しました "if you're like this Michael; あなた going to stress her out! あなた need to stay calm!" He took a deep breath and 発言しました "you're right! We really do need to leave though!" I 発言しました "can we talk about this another time!"

Dad and Kate walked me out to the car and helped me into the back seat. Kate got into the driver’s シート, 座席 and started the car as dad sat down 次 to me. Dad 発言しました "it takes 15 分 to get to the hospital! Are あなた in any pain yet?" I 発言しました "a little bit so far." He held out his hand and I 発言しました "no; I don't have to hold your hand; it doesn't hurt that bad!" Dad 発言しました "trust me; you're going to want to hold my hand!" I 発言しました "I'm fine dad!"

We pulled up in front of the hospital and dad was surprised with how calm I was. We got out of the car and walked inside. Kate walked up to the front 机, デスク and 発言しました "we have someone whose water just broke!" The staff brought a wheelchair out to me and we slowly started to go down to our hospital room all the way at the end of the long hall. When we were halfway there dad and Kate noticed the spontaneous change in me. Dad asked "are あなた okay Alanna?" I put my hand over my forehead and 発言しました "I think I'm feeling it now!" Kate 発言しました "we're almost there; just a few feet away." I can say now that that walk down the hall seemed like it took hours!

I slowly moved from the wheelchair I was in and into the hospital bed. Dad asked "is the doctor coming?" Kate 発言しました "yeah; I can hear footsteps." A female doctor came into the room and 発言しました "I've heard that we have a baby on the way in here." Dad shook hands with her and 発言しました "nice to meet あなた Dr. Benson" as he read her name tag. She looked at me and asked "how are あなた feeling?" I 発言しました "it's slowly getting もっと見る intense によって the minute. It's not excruciating yet though!" She 発言しました "that's good! Let's see if you're really ready to have this baby!"

After examining me, she 発言しました "you're not ready yet! I'll be back in about 15 分 to check again." She left the room and I asked as I looked up at Kate who was sitting beside my hospital ベッド "how long is it going to be before I can start pushing?" She 発言しました "who knows; it could be 分 または it could be hours." I 発言しました "hours!" Dad kissed my forehead and he could tell that the pain was getting increasingly worse but; I was being my usual stubborn self and wasn't going to 表示する my discomfort easily!

15 分 later, Dr. Benson came back into the room and 発言しました "it seems to me like you're ready now!" I 発言しました "thank God" and dad 発言しました "the pushing is the painful part!" At this point, I was already sweating and trying my best to hide my tears. I asked "you mean to tell me that it's going to be もっと見る painful than it already is right now?" Kate 発言しました "so much worse! Like the worst pressure you've ever felt in your life!" Dr. Benson asked "would あなた like to have the epidural または natural childbirth?" I asked confused "what's an epidural?" She responded "it's a needle full of medicine that numbs everything so あなた can't feel any pain." I 発言しました "no I don't need that; I'm doing it naturally!" Dad 発言しました "AJ; I suggest あなた use the epidural; I know how あなた are and あなた don't want to use it because あなた want to be tough!" Kate 発言しました "I've done it once naturally and once with the epidural and I agree with your dad completely! I really think あなた need to just go along with what we are suggesting! あなた have to remember that your only 14 and I'm telling あなた that あなた are going to be in some serious pain if あなた don't choose to go with the epidural; I'm just letting あなた know!" I 発言しました as I looked up at Dr. Benson "no; I want to do this naturally." She asked "are あなた 100% sure because once あなた start pushing there is no changing your mind?" I 発言しました "yeah; I'm sure!" Dad and Kate looked at each other worried and dad sat in the chair 次 to her.

A few 分 later, Dr. Benson 発言しました "okay; push as hard as あなた possibly can for as long as あなた can!" What I felt with that very first push I couldn't possibly explain to you; I guess I guess I could compare it to someone slowly ripping the skin off your body! Not to mention the tremendous pressure that Kate had warned me about. Dr. Benson 発言しました "okay push again!" I started crying as I attempted again and the 次 thing I knew dad had grabbed my hand! I 発言しました "I told あなた I didn't need to hold your hand dad!" He 発言しました "stop being so stubborn and push AJ!"

While I pushed for the third time I must've practically crushed dad's hand with how hard I was holding it! によって the fourth time, I 発言しました "I WANT HIM OUT NOW! I'm going to kill Damien for putting me through this!" Dr. Benson 発言しました "I can see a head! It should only take about one もっと見る BIG push to get him out! Kate switched places with dad so he could help Dr. Benson guide the baby out and suddenly I finally felt the relief I had been searching for!

秒 later, I heard my son cry for the first time and dad came over to me with tears in his eyes. He kissed the 上, ページのトップへ of my head and 発言しました "you did it; he's here!" I started crying uncontrollably and 発言しました "I want to see Carter!" Kate walked over to where the nurses were evaluating him and 発言しました "he's beautiful AJ!” One of the nurses shouted "AJ; he weighs 7 pounds exactly." Dad went over to look at his grandson and I asked "will あなた bring him over here to me now?"

Dad walked over to me with a bundle of blue blankets in his arms and 発言しました "here's Carter; don't forget to support his head!" That was the first time I saw my son and he was even cuter than I had imagined. Kate stroked his head while he was still in my arms and I passed him to her and she 発言しました "hi Carter; I'm your grandma!" I 発言しました while growing impatient "I want him back now!" Dr. Benson 発言しました "he seems pretty healthy so; instead of going for further evaluation, あなた can keep him in here with あなた guys! A nurse will come in and help あなた finalize his birth certificate in about two hours!" Dad 発言しました "thank あなた for everything Dr. Benson!" She 発言しました "no problem; this is why I 愛 my job!"

I passed Carter to dad and looked out the window that was 次 to me. I looked down at the parking lot and 発言しました "I think あなた guys are going to want to see what I can see from over here!" Kate and dad got up and looked out the window. Dad asked "is that Damien? It is!" Kate 発言しました "he must've used my credit card to buy a plane ticket out here!” I bit my lip angrily and 発言しました "now after all this time he shows up!" Dad 発言しました as he grinded his teeth "I'm sorry about this Kate but; I'm about to go down there into the parking lot and kick your son's ass!!!" She 発言しました "go right ahead! I think I might 登録する you! I'm seething with anger right now!" I 発言しました "whatever あなた do don't let him come up here because I'll bash his head in! Yes I'm aware that I just had a baby but; at this point I don't care how exhausted I am he deserves it!" Dad 発言しました as he ran out of the room with Kate "don't worry; he won't want to after I'm done with him!” Forgetting that he had Carter in his arms, he quickly ran back into the room and passed him back to me!

As I saw the two of them storm to where Damien was; I decided to open the window so I could hear what was going on. Dad looked at Damien and asked "what do あなた think you're doing here?" Damien 発言しました "I'm here to see my son!" Kate 発言しました "you're about nine months too late for that!" Damien 発言しました "I'm going to see my son!" Dad pushed Damien seeming to want to instigate a fight and 発言しました "no you're not!" Damien asked "you want to go? I'm not scared of あなた Michael!" I 発言しました under my breath "well; あなた should be!"

The two of them put their fists up and started to パンチ the air around the others face!" Dad 発言しました "come on and パンチ me then!!!" Damien swung his fist in the air but missed! I couldn't help but laugh and dad 発言しました "let me 表示する あなた how it's done jerk face!" I'm not exaggerating when I say that I could hear dad's fist make contact with Damien's face. Damien fell to the ground and Kate 発言しました "don't come back here! If あなた think it's cool to run off like that then don't bother coming back to the house when あなた go back to Vegas either! I'm canceling my credit cards and あなた can have fun trying to make it on your own in the real world! Don't come crawling back to me when あなた can't do it anymore! Until あなた get your priorities straight and apologize to AJ; who I'd like to remind あなた is the mother of your son… Just don't come back until あなた grow a pair and own up to the stupid choices あなた have made!" Damien stumbled off looking like he had sprained his ankle when he fell to the ground!

Dad and Kate came back upstairs to our room and I 発言しました "wow Kate; I didn't know that あなた had that you!" Dad asked "was it just me または did あなた smell alcohol on Damien's breath too?" She 発言しました "I could too; I'm used to it though! He's been drinking since last year!" I shook my head in disbelief and dad smiled as he 発言しました "I can't believe I gave him a black eye! I don't think he will come back unless he grows up!" I 発言しました "if it doesn't bother あなた Kate; I'd prefer to have Carter's last name be Jackson instead of Hayes because I don't think Damien deserves the right to have the same last name as his son! If he can prove to me that he does then I will have it legally changed!" She 発言しました "of course and I agree with you." I 発言しました "I can't wait to bring my little Carter Shawn Jackson ホーム tomorrow so he can me everyone!"

November 19, 2008,

We were just arriving back to the house after leaving the hospital when I could see Blanket running excitedly down the driveway. I opened the car door and he 発言しました "I want to see Carter!" I 発言しました while whispering "you can see him when we get inside but; あなた have to calm down and be quiet because he’s sleeping!" Dad and Kate walked inside behind me while I carried Carter in his car seat.

As I picked Carter up out of his car シート, 座席 he started to cry. I was freaked out によって this because I don't really know how to figure out what he needs yet. Dad came over and took him from me. I 発言しました "I don't know what he needs!" Dad asked as his eyes widened "well; are あなた ready to learn how to change a diaper?" I 発言しました "I might as well learn how to now!" Dad 発言しました "I'll talk あなた through it!"

Kate put a blanket down on the ソファー, ソファ and I laid Carter on it. Dad 発言しました "you don't have to clean him up with the wipes for 15 分 AJ; oh my gosh!" I 発言しました "I just want to make sure I'm doing it right dad! Would あなた rather I not be so meticulous about it?" He 発言しました "I like that あなた want to be thorough but; you've got to go a little bit faster または he might –! I asked "he might what?" Dad and Kate looked down and 発言しました "do that!" I looked to see what they were talking about and jumped up. I 発言しました "ewww あなた didn't tell me that he would pee on me!" Dad 発言しました while laughing along with Kate "we tried to but あなた wouldn't listen!" I shouted all the way from the bathroom where I made an attempt to save my シャツ "that's so disgusting; it's not funny あなた guys!" Kate 発言しました "just so あなた know; everything about 赤ちゃん and toddlers is disgusting; something is always going everywhere または all over you… Welcome to motherhood AJ!" Dad 発言しました "he only got a little bit on you! Just wait till it's 2 in the morning one of these times and あなた have to take a シャワー because of that!"

(awww i'm sad, the chapter after this one is the last one with Michael alive)