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posted by kitkat709477
1.vacuuming too often weakens the carpet fibers.Say this with a serious face,and shudder delicately whenever anyone mentions carpet fresh.

2.Dust bunnies cannot evolve into dust rhinos when disturbed.Rename the area under the ソファー, ソファ "The Galapagos Islands" and claim ecological exemption.

3.Layers of dirty film on windows and screen provides a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun.Call it a SPF factor of 5 and leave it alone.

4.Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduces the glare from the bulb,thereby creating a romantic atmosphere.If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting,simply look affronted and exclaim,"What? and spoil the mood?"

5.In a pinch,you can always claim that the haphazard tower of unread magazines and newspapers 次 to your chair provides the valuable Feng Shui aspect of a tiger,thereby reducing your vulnerability.Roll your eyes when あなた say this.

6.Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways によって claiming あなた are collecting it there to use for stuffing hand sewn play 動物 for underprivileged children.

7.If unexpected company is coming,pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door.As あなた 表示する your guests though your tidy home,rattle the door knob vigorously,fake a growl and say,"I'd 愛 あなた to see our Den,but fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive."

8.If the dusting is REALLY out of control ,simply place a showy urn insist that "THIS is where grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes..."

9.Don't bother repainting.Simply scribble lightly over a dirty ウォール with a assortment of crayons,and try to muster a glint of tears as あなた say,"Junior did this that week before the unspeakable accident...I haven't had the ハート, 心 to clean it..."

10.Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cups of water in a spray bottle.Mist the air lightly.Leave dampened rags in conspicuous locations.Develop an exhausted look,throw yourself onto the ソファー, ソファ ,and sigh,"I clean and I clean and I still don't get anywhere..."





*I didn't come up with this ,I found it on the internet*
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Jeff Foxworthy is now picking on Michigan.

If あなた consider it a sport to gather your 食 によって drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all 日 hoping that the 食 will swim by, あなた might live in Michigan .

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each 年 because Pellston is the coldest spot in the nation, あなた might live in Michigan .

If your local Dairy クイーン is closed from November through April, あなた might live in Michigan .

If あなた instinctively walk like a ペンギン for five months out of the year, あなた might live in Michigan .

If someone in a store offers...
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