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1) I can't reach my license unless あなた hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2) Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3) Aren't あなた the guy from the Village People?

4) Hey, あなた must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5) Are あなた Andy または Barney?

6) I thought あなた had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer

7) You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8) I pay your salary!

9) Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10) Do あなた know why あなた pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11) I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

12) When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have あなた been drinking?" あなた probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have あなた been eating doughnuts?"

13) What? あなた need a license to drive?

14) Wow, no wonder your wife sleeps around, with your breath!

15) Is your power a penis substitute?

16) Yes, I know my driving is not 100%, but あなた have to agree that it is still pretty good for someone who is completely drunk

17) Can あなた come back in 5 minutes? I'm in the middle of a telephone conversation.

18) Oops...I thought あなた were a prostitute.

19) Do I have any fruits または vegetables? I don't know. Is cocaine a フルーツ または vegetable?

20) A hundred dollar fine? Well, I think George Washington can change your mind

21) Did あなた pull me over because of the drugs under the seat, the body in the trunk, または the burned out tail-light?

22) Whoops, that's the fake one... here ya go, this is the one.

23) Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence

24) Is it true that guys become cops because they can't work at McDonald's ?

25) Thanks Officer, that last cop only gave me a warning, too

26) My gun fell off my lap and got lodged on the gas pedal

27) Hey, is that a 9mm ? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum!

28) Do あなた have any idea how much of a hurry I'm in?

29) You're lucky this car needs a tune-up または you'd have never caught me

30) In California we drive like that all the time, what's the problem?

31) If you'd try the stuff I just had, あなた wouldn't be so damn uptight

32) Aren't there real crooks somewhere あなた should be catching?

33) Well, those two other guys didn't stop for that school bus either

34) Yes, I saw your lights on, but I thought あなた going to get a doughnut

35) Just had to try out that new siren, didn't you?

36) Do あなた have any idea who you're talking to?

37) There's no way I was going 85. I had the cruise set at 80.

38) What's wrong, Ossifer? I swear to drunk I'm not God! And really, there is no blood in my alchohol

39) That uniform makes your 尻, お尻 look really big.

40) あなた don't happen to have any ビール in your car?

41) I was going to be cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

42) So what if I was speeding? Whatcha gonna do about it Mr. Hotshot?

43) I'm not as think as あなた stoned I am.

44) Officer: "Do あなた know how fast あなた were going"
Driver "No I'm too stoned to remember"

45) Its tobacco, honest

46) Hey, i bet i can grab that gun before あなた finish 書く my ticket!

47) Officer: Sir, have あなた been drinking?
>Driver: No, I haven't had any cunts tonight drinkstable.
added by zombiestars
added by zombiestars
added by edwardcarlisle
Source: only-we-can-mold-our-own-destiny
added by edwardcarlisle
Source: 9gag
added by swiddlewiddle
Source: Google
added by Zoe_Girl
added by mooimafish17
Source: lol
added by gaby124
added by stickymonkey
posted by LadyL68
1.Guys don’t actually look after good-looking girls. they prefer neat and presentable girls.

2.Guys hate other flirts.

3.A guy can like あなた for a minute, and then forget あなた afterwards.

4.When a guy says he doesn’t understand you, it simply means you’re not thinking the way he is.

5.Are あなた doing something?” または “Have あなた eaten already?” are the first usual 質問 a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.

6.Guys may be flirting around all 日 but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

7.When a guy really likes you, he’ll disregard...
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posted by CullenProperty
If you’re going to get drunk, don’t drive.
If your going to have sex, don’t get pregnant.
If your going to throw a party, don‘t let your neighbors hear your music.
If your going to steal something, don’t get caught.
If your going to make love, make it passionately.
If your going to lie, make sure your good at it.
If your going to cheat on your boyfriend, make sure it‘s not with one of his friends, but if あなた want to get back at your boyfriend, do make sure it’s with one of his friends!
If your going to stab your friend in the back, make sure she’s not looking.
If your going to...
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added by Blaze1213IsBack
KISS, KISS, KISS! What could be 発言しました about the band キッス that hasn’t been said? They were insanely popular, had a recognizable image, Gene Simmons is a hack and I will probably hear from his lawyers for slander because he is that desperate to be acknowledged. But the point is, キッス was crazy 人気 and had merch all over the place. Toys, lighters, and crossovers galore. I was familiar with the music, mostly the songs from Tony Hawk’s Underground. Fucking Scooby-Doo had a crossover with them for some reason. So, naturally, a video game was expected to be in the works at some point. So,...
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added by ace2000
added by ace2000
added by ace2000
added by tanyya
added by new2
added by DusanIvanovic
Source: i don't know