From another Eメール I received. Just for fun!
EMPLOYEE MEMO
Dress Code
1. It is advised that あなた come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see あなた wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume あなた are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay raise.
2. If あなた dress poorly, あなた need to learn to manage your money better, so that あなた may buy nicer clothes, and therefore あなた do not need a pay raise.
3. If あなた dress just right, あなた are right where あなた need to be and therefore あなた do not need a pay raise.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as proof of sickness. If あなた are able to go to the doctor, あなた are able to come to work.
Annual Leave
Each employee will receive 104 days off a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
Toilet Use
1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time in the toilet.
2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the toilet door will open, and your picture will be taken.
3. After your 秒 offence, your picture will be 投稿されました on the company notice board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.
4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
Thank あなた for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive employment experience.
EMPLOYEE MEMO
Dress Code
1. It is advised that あなた come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see あなた wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume あなた are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay raise.
2. If あなた dress poorly, あなた need to learn to manage your money better, so that あなた may buy nicer clothes, and therefore あなた do not need a pay raise.
3. If あなた dress just right, あなた are right where あなた need to be and therefore あなた do not need a pay raise.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as proof of sickness. If あなた are able to go to the doctor, あなた are able to come to work.
Annual Leave
Each employee will receive 104 days off a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
Toilet Use
1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time in the toilet.
2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the toilet door will open, and your picture will be taken.
3. After your 秒 offence, your picture will be 投稿されました on the company notice board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.
4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
Thank あなた for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive employment experience.
From another Eメール I received. Just for fun!
EMPLOYEE MEMO
Dress Code
1. It is advised that あなた come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see あなた wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume あなた are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay raise.
2. If あなた dress poorly, あなた need to learn to manage your money better, so that あなた may buy nicer clothes, and therefore あなた do not need a pay raise.
3. If あなた dress just right, あなた are right where あなた need to be and therefore あなた do not need a pay raise.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as proof of sickness. If あなた are able to go to the doctor, あなた are able to come to work.
Annual Leave
Each employee will receive 104 days off a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
Toilet Use
1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time in the toilet.
2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the toilet door will open, and your picture will be taken.
3. After your 秒 offence, your picture will be 投稿されました on the company notice board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.
4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
Thank あなた for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive employment experience.
EMPLOYEE MEMO
Dress Code
1. It is advised that あなた come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see あなた wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume あなた are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay raise.
2. If あなた dress poorly, あなた need to learn to manage your money better, so that あなた may buy nicer clothes, and therefore あなた do not need a pay raise.
3. If あなた dress just right, あなた are right where あなた need to be and therefore あなた do not need a pay raise.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as proof of sickness. If あなた are able to go to the doctor, あなた are able to come to work.
Annual Leave
Each employee will receive 104 days off a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
Toilet Use
1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time in the toilet.
2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the toilet door will open, and your picture will be taken.
3. After your 秒 offence, your picture will be 投稿されました on the company notice board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.
4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
Thank あなた for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive employment experience.