あなた died…. What else do あなた want. あなた just died… Okay, fine. あなた then met me, God, of course. Who else is going to narrate this story? Anyway, あなた came to me and said, “Who are you”?
I said, “I am God”?
And あなた said, “So… you’re Sonic.EXE”.
And I said, “... You’re a special kind of stupid”.
And あなた just sat there like a moron. Anyway, I then said, “Well, anyway, I am the actual God, the creator of the world, and so on and so forth. And you’re dead. あなた got in a bad car accident. Smashed your ribs, which mutilated あなた from the inside. Real gross. Blood everywhere. The usual ways あなた die in these stories”.
And あなた said, “So, do I go to Heaven”?
And I said, “No, あなた are going to be reborn. And, I believe あなた will be reborn as… A… ハムスター with a birth defect”.
あなた said, “So, what about everyone else”?
And I said, “What about them”?
And あなた said, “Well, won’t they remember me”?
And I said, “Of course not. You’re Them. This whole world is made for you. あなた are everyone”?
Confused, あなた said, “Wait, I’m everyone”?
And I said, “Yep”.
あなた said, “So, I was Abraham Lincoln”?
And I said, “And あなた were John Wilkes Booth”.
あなた said, “I was Hitler”?
And I said, “And you’re the millions he killed”.
あなた said, “I’m the guy who slept with every girl”.
And I said, “And, in the end, あなた were only sleeping with yourself”.
あなた stood there, shocked, “So, you’re saying that the world is…”.
I interrupted, saying, “An egg? Yes”.
Then あなた said, “Mmm, eggs”.
I just stood there, annoyed, then finally said, “Just get out of here” and I sent あなた on your way

End of Part 2