I found these on Tumblr ... thought they were funny (and pretty damn accurate).
This is a little graphic for those of あなた who shy away from this kinda stuff ;)
1. Bella is clumsy, shy and constantly bites her lower lip when she’s nervous
2. Edward finds her lip biting habits sexy
3. Edward is jealous, over protective and a bit controlling
4. Edward has a temper
5. Though there are no ヴァンパイア and no werewolves, Human Edward can actually GROWL
6. Edward has the greenest eyes she’s ever seen and a panty dropping crooked smile
7. Edward always has velvety smooth, warm voice that turns to rough when he wants Bella
8. Bella has the deepest brown eyes and he can see to her soul through them
9. Edward has a monster cock that deserves an award and can put any other to shame ;)
10. Though some might think physically impossible, Edward can get hard in less than 3 秒 after seeing Bella only bite her lip
11. Tanya is a bitch
12. Rose is the coolest badass ever
13. Esme is always wiping tears from her eyes somewhere
14. Carlisle the kindest and most compassionate Doctor ever… unless you’re 読書 a SAVAGE story [Lorabell note: または Emancipation Proclamation where he’s a straight up badass]
15. Unless it’s a sex marathon story または a Dadward/Momella story, you’re gonna have to wait till they say “I 愛 you” before sex
16. Edward always gets Bella to come only 2 秒 before him and both always happen explosively with white spots behind their eyelids
17. Alice is referred to as a pixie, loves Bella バービー and always takes her shopping against her will
18. No matter how long the story is または what genre but you’ll ALWAYS find Edward in a towel somewhere with Bella there to drool over the V between his hips
19. Bella hates wearing heels, calls them “death traps” and they’re usually forced on her によって Alice または Rose
20. Edward has LONG fingers that can do wonders with 音楽 and Bella’s [*cough* and Lorabell’s *cough*] lady bits
21. Charlie is always always always fishing… I mean, dude get a life - no one fishes 24/7 not even in Canon
22. Jacob is bad. If he’s not bad, he’s gay. If he’s not gay, he’s a dog. Literally.
23. Mike is a douche. No matter what he does and how nice he is, he’s always a douche with a small dick
24. EVERY TIME Bella and Edward have sex, it’s better than the last and the best sex they have ever had. EVER.
25. Jake almost ALWAYS ends up with Leah
26. Rosalie always smacks Emmet on the back of his head… if she’s not around then it’s Esme
27. They always rip condoms with their teeth
28. At one time または another you’ll find that “she/he saw something unreadable flicker in his/her eyes but it disappeared before she/he could see what it was”
29. The 作者 will almost always sneak in at least one book または movie quote
30. When most normal people would have reached for the telephone and dialed 911, Bella is NOT freaked out によって Edward watching her sleep
This is a little graphic for those of あなた who shy away from this kinda stuff ;)
1. Bella is clumsy, shy and constantly bites her lower lip when she’s nervous
2. Edward finds her lip biting habits sexy
3. Edward is jealous, over protective and a bit controlling
4. Edward has a temper
5. Though there are no ヴァンパイア and no werewolves, Human Edward can actually GROWL
6. Edward has the greenest eyes she’s ever seen and a panty dropping crooked smile
7. Edward always has velvety smooth, warm voice that turns to rough when he wants Bella
8. Bella has the deepest brown eyes and he can see to her soul through them
9. Edward has a monster cock that deserves an award and can put any other to shame ;)
10. Though some might think physically impossible, Edward can get hard in less than 3 秒 after seeing Bella only bite her lip
11. Tanya is a bitch
12. Rose is the coolest badass ever
13. Esme is always wiping tears from her eyes somewhere
14. Carlisle the kindest and most compassionate Doctor ever… unless you’re 読書 a SAVAGE story [Lorabell note: または Emancipation Proclamation where he’s a straight up badass]
15. Unless it’s a sex marathon story または a Dadward/Momella story, you’re gonna have to wait till they say “I 愛 you” before sex
16. Edward always gets Bella to come only 2 秒 before him and both always happen explosively with white spots behind their eyelids
17. Alice is referred to as a pixie, loves Bella バービー and always takes her shopping against her will
18. No matter how long the story is または what genre but you’ll ALWAYS find Edward in a towel somewhere with Bella there to drool over the V between his hips
19. Bella hates wearing heels, calls them “death traps” and they’re usually forced on her によって Alice または Rose
20. Edward has LONG fingers that can do wonders with 音楽 and Bella’s [*cough* and Lorabell’s *cough*] lady bits
21. Charlie is always always always fishing… I mean, dude get a life - no one fishes 24/7 not even in Canon
22. Jacob is bad. If he’s not bad, he’s gay. If he’s not gay, he’s a dog. Literally.
23. Mike is a douche. No matter what he does and how nice he is, he’s always a douche with a small dick
24. EVERY TIME Bella and Edward have sex, it’s better than the last and the best sex they have ever had. EVER.
25. Jake almost ALWAYS ends up with Leah
26. Rosalie always smacks Emmet on the back of his head… if she’s not around then it’s Esme
27. They always rip condoms with their teeth
28. At one time または another you’ll find that “she/he saw something unreadable flicker in his/her eyes but it disappeared before she/he could see what it was”
29. The 作者 will almost always sneak in at least one book または movie quote
30. When most normal people would have reached for the telephone and dialed 911, Bella is NOT freaked out によって Edward watching her sleep
-Rosalie-
It didn't really bother me that a werewolf imprinted on Renesmee, it irritated the hell out of me that a werewolf imprinted on Renesmee.
Bella told me, on precisely 274 occasions, that, Jacob loves her, she loves him, be a good sport for their sake, etcetera. So I started ignoring the canine when it become "official" that we would be related soon.
によって "official", I mean, they were getting hitched, I could no longer believe my own lie. (that someday, I would "La Push" Jacob of a cliff. Best ファンタジー EVER.)
Jacob was one of those irritating things in life, like, the fact that there was absolutely NO plug outlet for my hairdryer whenever we went on "camping" trips for long periods of time.
But, imagine that irritating crisis multiplied によって 864. That's how much I resented the whole "Renesmee is going to marry a werewolf" idea.
In some ways, I didn't mind the dog. I knew he'd never hurt her, but that was the extent of my compassinon for werewolves.
It didn't really bother me that a werewolf imprinted on Renesmee, it irritated the hell out of me that a werewolf imprinted on Renesmee.
Bella told me, on precisely 274 occasions, that, Jacob loves her, she loves him, be a good sport for their sake, etcetera. So I started ignoring the canine when it become "official" that we would be related soon.
によって "official", I mean, they were getting hitched, I could no longer believe my own lie. (that someday, I would "La Push" Jacob of a cliff. Best ファンタジー EVER.)
Jacob was one of those irritating things in life, like, the fact that there was absolutely NO plug outlet for my hairdryer whenever we went on "camping" trips for long periods of time.
But, imagine that irritating crisis multiplied によって 864. That's how much I resented the whole "Renesmee is going to marry a werewolf" idea.
In some ways, I didn't mind the dog. I knew he'd never hurt her, but that was the extent of my compassinon for werewolves.
This takes place after Edward and the rest of the Cullens leaves Bella in New Moon.Here are the characters.They have a lot of different names.Some of the names i mixed up.There are some vampires.Some names are my フレンズ and family but that is the person's real name in the story.You can use these people as あなた または people あなた know.
Bella 白鳥, スワン a.k.a Demi Lovato,Alex Russo,and Alana Azel
Nicknames:Aly,Dems and some more
Bella is half vampire and half wizard.
Ashley Tisdale a.k.a Sharpay Russo
Ashley is a wizard.
Kevin Jonas is a vampire along with his three brothers.His brothers are Joe,Nick,and Frankie.
Selena Gomez a.k.a Emily Russo
Selena is a wizard.
Sonny Monroe is Demi Lovato in real life.
Sonny is a wizard.
There are going to be a few もっと見る parts.
Bella 白鳥, スワン a.k.a Demi Lovato,Alex Russo,and Alana Azel
Nicknames:Aly,Dems and some more
Bella is half vampire and half wizard.
Ashley Tisdale a.k.a Sharpay Russo
Ashley is a wizard.
Kevin Jonas is a vampire along with his three brothers.His brothers are Joe,Nick,and Frankie.
Selena Gomez a.k.a Emily Russo
Selena is a wizard.
Sonny Monroe is Demi Lovato in real life.
Sonny is a wizard.
There are going to be a few もっと見る parts.