I took a deep breath and opened the door as softly as possible and tiptoed down the stairs. Of course, not calling attention to myself is something I could not get away with.

Ever since…I winced…Ever since I came back from the cliffs, my family has kept tabs on every breath I took. Dad held vigil right outside my door for…I don’t know how many days, how many nights exactly. I heard him moan in frustration as the pain knifed my ハート, 心 into gazillion pieces mercilessly. I heard his teeth gnashing as I choked Jacob’s name over and over again.

All my family gave their fair share in coaxing me out of my room – Daddy threatened, pleaded, and then threatened again. Mom pleaded and sobbed - tearlessly for sure, Uncle Emmett joked that I only have to ask him and he’ll gladly rip Jake apart, Uncle Jasper tried to make me calm. Tried but did not succeed. It felt like I had developed a shield of my own that repelled my Uncle’s subtle gift. My body refused to follow his bidding. I felt no calm, no peace, just the feeling of emptiness. My grandparents and my aunts tried to both plead and sweet talk – like I was a child.

I am no longer a child. A child could not fathom this kind of crippling agony. I am no longer a child because I understood it…too well.

After…I wracked my brain…I sighed…After seven days, I got up from my bed.

“Thank heavens! Finally!” Aunt Alice exclaimed. “I feel so helpless not knowing when she’ll snap out of her depression. I almost went crazy with worry!”

“Ssshh, Alice! She could hear you.” Aunt Rose admonished.

“We better wait for her in the living room.” I could hear relief color my Dad’s voice.

“I’ll ask Esme to prepare breakfast for you, Sweetie!” Aunt Alice called out.

I heard several groans. I bit my lower lip guiltily. It’s not fair to have my family tiptoe around on eggshells just because of me. It’s not fair to make them suffer. It’s not fair to cause my parents pain and worry.

“This insanity is enough, Renesmee Cullen! Get a grip on yourself.” I 発言しました aloud.

I took a deep shaky breath and marched towards my vanity table, intending to fix myself up before facing my family. I knew I was beyond recognition.

My eyes immediately brimmed with tears as I caught sight of my お気に入り photograph. I fought to steady my trembling hand as I reached for it. I took one long look. I etched his face in my memory. His hair, his brows, his eyes, his nose, his mouth. I ingrained his face in my brain then I carefully hid his picture away, together with my heart. I stashed his pictures, letters, gifts, everything in the closet I seldom opened - it contained clothes that Aunt Alice spent a fortune on - clothes I never wore because they were もっと見る suitably sashayed down a modeling ramp than the always soaked streets of Forks.

I stared at my wrist. The promise bracelet still around it. I almost expected it to snap, untie, loosen together with his promise.

Agony blazed inside me.

“Enough.Enough.” I choked.

I wouldn't take this stupid bracelet off. it would always serve as a reminder - never again will I feel what I felt on the the cliff, on different occasions - extreme happiness and extreme pain - for only he could make me feel those.

I closed my eyes, waited for my breath to steady and my ハート, 心 to stop constricting. After a couple of seconds, I felt…numb.

Good. Numbness is okay. Nothing, I can’t handle. I thought.

I saw my reflection in the mirror for the first time after…I panicked feeling the numbness slipping away. I shook my head. I won’t allow myself to think of anything that would remind me of….my ハート, 心 beat furiously against my chest, coaxing my mind to think of his name.

“Jacob…” I whispered. I gritted my teeth as a spasm of pain racked my whole body. This time I refused the urge to curl into a ball.

“You are a Cullen. Edward and Bella’s daughter. Have pride in yourself.” I told the face in the mirror.

It felt like two sides were warring inside me. One side wanted me to sob and slid down on the floor right now. The other side wanted me to square my shoulders and hold my chin up and pretend….

Pretend it doesn’t hurt あなた badly. A voice inside my head said.

I gritted my teeth. I’ve been too weak long enough – pampered too much, sheltered too much.

This is the only thing they could not protect me from….

Half human, half vampire. Am I もっと見る human than vampire? I felt too human now. I flinched.

I always felt like an eggshell – fragile, brittle, and breakable. This time only, I felt like a cracked, dried up eggshell – the insides (The egg white and the yolk) long gone.

“You are going to put this behind you, Renesmee, even if it kills you.” I 発言しました to my reflection in the mirror. I saw her smile grimly, her eyes still bloodshot but determined. – wildly determined.

I quickly brush my hair and loosely tied it into a ponytail. I hastily changed into faded denim pants and a black tank top.

“This is crazy.” I muttered to myself as I tiptoed down the stairs. I almost ran back to my room. I couldn’t do this. Shame and guilt wash over my entire body. How could I face my family after what I’ve put them through?

“Nessie.” My father called. I took a deep breath and went to find my family all seated in the dining room, their faces flooding with relief. They are now smiling at me, beaming.

My Dad went over to me and hugged me. “Welcome back, Angel.” He whispered.

“Ugh, Dad! Too tight.” He released me chuckling.

“Do あなた want to eat, sweetie?” My mom asked.

I smiled sheepishly. Then every jaw in the room dropped as I said, “I think I’ll go hunting.”