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posted by BlackSunshine
“You and Billy gossip like old women.” -Bella, Eclipse.

“Penguins. Lovely.” -Edward, Eclipse

"Amazing, How can someone so tiny be so annoying?" -Edward, Eclipse

"Next time あなた want to hit me, use a baseball bat または a crowbar, okay?" Jacob, Eclipse

"I guess I could throw in a few extra homicides, if it will make Jasper happy. Why not." Bella, Eclipse.

"Stupid shiny Volvo owner."-Bella, Twilight

"Did あなた seriously just stamp your foot? I thought girls only did that in movies." -Jacob, Eclipse

"How strongly opposed are あなた to grand auto theft?"
-Alice, New Moon

"Oh! I get it! あなた 愛 me!"
-Bella, New Moon.

"I prefer brunettes.”
—Edward Cullen

“I’m really glad Edward didn’t kill you. Everything’s so much もっと見る fun with あなた around.” -Emmett Cullen

“Edward’s only human, Bella. He’s going to react like any other boy.”
—Angela Weber

“This hostage stuff is fun.”
—Alice Cullen

"Would あなた please stop trying to take your clothes off?"
-Edward

“Fall down again, Bella?” —Emmett Cullen

“I can’t imagine how awful that must feel. Being normal? Ugh.” —Bella Swan

"I hear voices in my mind and あなた worried that you're the freak."-Edward

"Yes, because a vampire slumber party is the pinnacle of safety conscious behavior." -Bella


"You worry too much, Bella. You're going to go prematurely gray." -Alice

"Don't worry...I'll protect you." –Edward

"Go fetch a 宇宙 heater... what am I a St. Bernard?"
-Jacob

"Afraid of a needle." he muttered to himself under his breath, shaking his head. "Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing her to death, sure, no problem, she runs off to meet him. An IV, on the other hand..." -Edward Cullen


"I've never seen anyone so prone to life-threatening idiocy in my life!"
-Alice Cullen

"I've been tortured, Alice painted my toenails!"
-Bella Swan

"It's a good thing you're bulletproof."
-Bella Swan

Emmet: "Fall again, Bella?"
Bella: "No Emmet, I punched a wear 狼, オオカミ in the face."

"You are bizarrely moral for a vampire."
-Bella Swan

"Stupid unreliable vampire!"
-Bella

“Which is tempting あなた more, me または my body?”
-Bella

"Do あなた have a multiple personality disorder?"-Bella Swan

“I don’t have any leeches on my speed dial.” — Jacob Black
posted by KateKicksAss
I found these online, and thought they were kinda funny, :)
Credit: wiki answers, wattpad.com, b L(デスノート) o g s p o t.com


How many Twilighters does it take to screw on a light bulb?
I don't know, they're all too busy fighting over who gets to be Mrs Cullen

What happened when Emmett Cullen stubbed his toe?
He made the whole city collapse!

Rosalie Hale was told to find something just as または もっと見る beautiful then herself. She came back with a mirror!

How do あなた stop Jacob Black from attacking you?
You pick up a stick, throw it and yell "fetch"!

How do あなた irritate Edward Cullen?
Buy him a dog and call it Jacob!

Why...
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