please could people read this fanfic and give me feeback? so i can see whether to write another?

I just read it and all i can say is...OME (oh my Edward)!!!! That was amazing!! Really really impresive!! あなた NEED TO WRITE もっと見る THINGS FOR ME TO READ PLEASE!!! one quesion....if あなた dont mind me asking, how old are you? Again, great job! あなた should be very proud! :)