After weeks of getting bullied, I was beginning to lose hope. I really needed a way to cope with my sadness. I looked at my Siberian Husky, Diesel, and said, "I wish あなた could talk. あなた could tell me what to do." He could make noises that sounded like he was talking, but he couldn't talk like a person. One day, I saw a pocket knife, and I don't know what I was thinking, but I made some cuts on my leg. It really hurt, but the pain gave me something to focus on other than how lonely I was. It made me forget about all the bullying....for a brief period. I kept doing it. I later heard a song によって a band called Nine Inch Nails. The song was called "Hurt". I felt a connection with the first set of lyrics.
"I hurt myself today,
To see if I still feel.
I focus on the pain,
The only thing that's real."
One day, my aunt caught me cutting. "Autumn!" she cried. "What are あなた doing?!" I dropped the pocket ナイフ and began to cry. She asked, "Why are あなた doing this?" I said, "It helps me cope with loneliness. I don't have any friends." She helped me clean the wounds. She said, "Autumn, あなた need to find a better way to cope. It's killing me to see あなた like this." She hugged me. She did some research to find ways to help me. I took up painting and played my instruments more. Of course, I did have my bad days, and habits don't disappear like something in a magic act. One day, I got out the pocket knife. I was about to cut myself, but Diesel took it from me and dropped it at my uncle's feet. My uncle then hit the pocket ナイフ from me. Sometimes, I'd cut with scissors, but Diesel would usually stop me. He'd make a noise that sounded like he was saying, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" It would make me laugh, and I'd forget all about cutting. I still wished that I had a human friend. Then, one day, the seemingly impossible occurred.