Chapter 4: Still Cautious

Christina POV

    I was quickly rushing to Physics class, avoiding eye contact-- the text messages I exchanged with Vicki and Monica were still in my head, but I’m trying to ignore that at the moment...
    You’ll 愛 him, Christina!
    That’s what Monica had said-- but I didn’t know how she could know for sure if I was suppose to ‘love’ this Niall guy... After all, I had sworn off guys ever since I broke up with my last boyfriend, who turned out to be just like all the others...
    Rubbing the bruise that is still on my arm, I open the door to Physics, sitting 次 to a cute, blond guy whom I haven’t seen before.
    I’m getting out my Physics notebook and taking out a pen when he faces me, smiling slightly.
    “Hi, I’m Niall-- mind if I borrow a pen?”
    I try not to blush, not meeting his eyes-- I’m pretty shy with all guys, ever since my past boyfriends.
    “Um, sure... black または blue?”
    “Blue’s fine, thanks,” He says, accepting the pen and taking out his own notebook.
    “Are you... Are あなた one of the new British guys?” I ask, trying to keep my voice level-- this guy is cute, seems nice too, but that’s how all of my boyfriends, especially Josh, were like before...
    He snorts. “Well I’m Irish--”
    I smile slightly. “Yeah, I can tell.”
    He smiles back. “Good, it’s not totally oblivious, right? Anyways, what’s your name?”
    “Christina.”
    “Christina... Nice to meet you, Christina,” He says, opening his notebook to a clean new page. “Say, あなた know when lunch is? I’m starving.”
    I giggle slightly-- campus breakfast was about two hours ago, and this guy was already hungry? “There’s one もっと見る class left before lunch, and then we’ll eat.”
    “Oh, that’s good, yay. I 愛 food, so あなた know, my stomach’s always tugging.” He chuckles, and his laugh is so warming and nice, I’m actually starting to like this guy.
    No, I think, starting to panic a little. I CAN’T like this guy, または any guy that seems nice... I can’t let what happened before happen to me again...
    “What class do あなた have next?” I ask, trying not to sound too awkward about it.
    “History, you?”
    “Same,” I say-- I don’t know whether to feel happy または guilty, since I’m really starting to like this Niall guy...
    He smiles at me, and I notice he has braces. “That’s good-- I need a personal tour guide to help me not get lost, and, you’re really nice, Christina.”
    I bite my lip, just nodding and smiling the whole class period while we take down notes and Niall is talking to me about ランダム things, in his perfect Irish accent.
    What to do? I think, as we head off to History class as the ベル rings. My フレンズ will only tell me to go after this guy, but I still have some doubts...
    It’s just a relief that none of my past boyfriends go to this college-- if they were, I would probably try so hard to transfer out, even if it means leaving my フレンズ and sunny California.
    Running a finger over a big bruise I still have from two years ago, I flinch as Niall puts his arm around my shoulders and leads me to History class, remembering the bruises I got all those times when my past boyfriends-- Jamie, Corey, Frank, Tom, Josh-- hit me and abused me.
    Maybe Niall won’t be the same but... I’m still too cautious about dating.
    His arm drops around my waist, and we sit 次 to each other, him catching glances at me from time to time-- of course I notice, and of course I want to talk to him more, but the bruises seem like they’re getting bigger and preventing me from actually liking Niall, who is probably the best guy I've ever met... And yet, I can't have him.