Funny Excerpts from the First Book
"Oh, are あなた a prefect, Percy? あなた should have 発言しました something, we had no idea."
"Hang on I think I remember him saying something about it, once..."
"Or twice-"
"A minute-"
"All summer-"
------------------------------------------
"So light a fire!" Harry choked.
"Yes...of course...but there's no wood!" Hermione cried, wringing her hands.
"HAVE あなた GONE MAD!" Ron bellowed. "ARE あなた A WITCH または NOT!
------------------------------------------
Everybody finished the song at different times. At last, only the Weasley twins were left 歌う along to a very slow funeral march.
------------------------------------------
Dudley looked a lot like Uncle Vernon. He had a large ピンク face, not much neck, small watery blue eyes, and thick blonde hair that lay smoothly on his thick, fat head. Aunt ペチュニア often 発言しました that Dudley looked like a baby angel. Harry often 発言しました that Dudley looked like a pig in a wig.
------------------------------------------
Lee Jordan was finding it difficult not to take sides.
"So-after that obvious and disgusting bit of cheating-"
"Jordan!" growled Professor McGonagall.
"I mean, after that open and revolting foul-"
"Jordan, I'm warning you-"
"All right, all right. Flint nearly kills the Gryffindor Seeker, which could happen to anyone, I'm sure..."
------------------------------------------
"They stuff people's heads down the toilet the first 日 at Stonewall," [Dudley] told Harry. "Want to come upstairs and practice?"
"No, thanks," 発言しました Harry. "The poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it — it might be sick."
------------------------------------------
"You haven't got a letter on yours", George observed. "I suppose she [Mrs.Weasley] thinks あなた don't forget your name. But we're not stupid - we know we're called Gred and Forge."
------------------------------------------
"Sir — Professor Dumbledore? Can I ask あなた something?"
"Obviously, you’ve just done so," Dumbledore smiled. “You may ask me one もっと見る thing, however."
"What do あなた see when あなた look in the mirror?"
"I? I see myself holding a pair of thick, woolen socks."
Harry stared.
"One can never have enough socks. Another クリスマス has come and gone and I didn’t get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books."
------------------------------------------
"Fred, あなた next," the plump woman said.
"I'm not Fred, I'm George," 発言しました the boy. "Honestly, woman, あなた call yourself our mother? Can't あなた tell I'm George?"
------------------------------------------
"And what if I wave my wand and nothing happens?" [Harry]
"Throw it away and パンチ him in the nose," suggested Ron.
------------------------------------------
One morning in mid-December, Hogwarts woke to find itself covered in several feet of snow. The lake froze solid and the Weasley twins were punished for bewitching several snowballs so that they followed Quirrell around, bouncing off the back of his turban.
------------------------------------------
"So あなた mean the Stone's only 安全, 安全です as long as Quirrell stands up to Snape?" 発言しました Hermione in alarm.
"It'll be gone によって 次 Tuesday," 発言しました Ron.
------------------------------------------
"Now, あなた two - Behave yourselves. If I get one word that you've blown up a toilet または - " [Mrs. Weasley]
"Blown up a toilet? We've never blown up a toilet."
"Great idea though, thanks, Mum."
------------------------------------------
Speaking quietly so that no one else would hear, Harry told the other two about Snape's sudden, sinister desire to be a Quidditch referee.
"Don't play," 発言しました Hermione at once.
"Say you're ill," 発言しました Ron.
"Pretend to break your leg," Hermione suggested.
"Really break your leg," 発言しました Ron.
------------------------------------------
"See?" 発言しました Hermione, when Harry and Ron had finished. "The dog must be guarding Flamel's Sorcerer's Stone! I bet he asked Dumbledore to keep it 安全, 安全です for him, because they're フレンズ and he knew someone was after it, that's why he wanted the Stone moved out of Gringotts!"
"A stone that makes ゴールド and stops あなた from ever dying!" 発言しました Harry. "No wonder Snape's after it! Anyone would want it."
"And no wonder we couldn't find Flamel in that Study of 最近 Developments in Wizardry," 発言しました Ron. "He's not exactly 最近 if he's six hundred and sixty-five, is he?"
-----------------------------------------
Harry left the locker room alone some time later, to take his Nimbus Two Thousand back to the broomshed. He couldn't ever remember feeling happier. He'd really done something to be proud of now - no one could say he was just a famous name any more. The evening air had never smelled so sweet. He walked over the damp grass, reliving the last 時 in his head, which was a happy blur: Gryffindors running to lift him onto their shoulders; Ron and Hermione in the distance, jumping up and down, Ron cheering through a heavy nosebleed.
-----------------------------------------
"It bit me!" he said, 表示中 them his hand, which was wrapped in a bloody handkerchief.
"I'm not going to be able to hold a quill for a week. I tell you, that dragon's the most horrible animal I've ever met, but the way Hagrid goes on about it, you'd think it was a fluffy little bunny rabbit. When it bit me he told me off for frightening it. And when I left, he was 歌う it a lullaby."
-----------------------------------------
"Your aunt and uncle will be proud, though, won't they?" 発言しました Hermione as they got off the train and joined the crowd thronging toward the 魔法にかけられて barrier. "When they hear what あなた did this year?"
"Proud?" 発言しました Harry. "Are あなた crazy? All those times I could've died, and I didn't manage it? They'll be furious..."
-----------------------------------------
"There was a horrible smell in the キッチン 次 morning when Harry went for breakfast. It seemed to be coming from a large metal tub in the sink. He went to have a look. The tub was full of what looked like dirty rags swimming in grey water.
"What's this?" he asked Petunia.
"Your new school uniform," she said.
"Oh," he said. "I didn't realise it had to be so wet."
credit - Mugglenet
"Oh, are あなた a prefect, Percy? あなた should have 発言しました something, we had no idea."
"Hang on I think I remember him saying something about it, once..."
"Or twice-"
"A minute-"
"All summer-"
------------------------------------------
"So light a fire!" Harry choked.
"Yes...of course...but there's no wood!" Hermione cried, wringing her hands.
"HAVE あなた GONE MAD!" Ron bellowed. "ARE あなた A WITCH または NOT!
------------------------------------------
Everybody finished the song at different times. At last, only the Weasley twins were left 歌う along to a very slow funeral march.
------------------------------------------
Dudley looked a lot like Uncle Vernon. He had a large ピンク face, not much neck, small watery blue eyes, and thick blonde hair that lay smoothly on his thick, fat head. Aunt ペチュニア often 発言しました that Dudley looked like a baby angel. Harry often 発言しました that Dudley looked like a pig in a wig.
------------------------------------------
Lee Jordan was finding it difficult not to take sides.
"So-after that obvious and disgusting bit of cheating-"
"Jordan!" growled Professor McGonagall.
"I mean, after that open and revolting foul-"
"Jordan, I'm warning you-"
"All right, all right. Flint nearly kills the Gryffindor Seeker, which could happen to anyone, I'm sure..."
------------------------------------------
"They stuff people's heads down the toilet the first 日 at Stonewall," [Dudley] told Harry. "Want to come upstairs and practice?"
"No, thanks," 発言しました Harry. "The poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it — it might be sick."
------------------------------------------
"You haven't got a letter on yours", George observed. "I suppose she [Mrs.Weasley] thinks あなた don't forget your name. But we're not stupid - we know we're called Gred and Forge."
------------------------------------------
"Sir — Professor Dumbledore? Can I ask あなた something?"
"Obviously, you’ve just done so," Dumbledore smiled. “You may ask me one もっと見る thing, however."
"What do あなた see when あなた look in the mirror?"
"I? I see myself holding a pair of thick, woolen socks."
Harry stared.
"One can never have enough socks. Another クリスマス has come and gone and I didn’t get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books."
------------------------------------------
"Fred, あなた next," the plump woman said.
"I'm not Fred, I'm George," 発言しました the boy. "Honestly, woman, あなた call yourself our mother? Can't あなた tell I'm George?"
------------------------------------------
"And what if I wave my wand and nothing happens?" [Harry]
"Throw it away and パンチ him in the nose," suggested Ron.
------------------------------------------
One morning in mid-December, Hogwarts woke to find itself covered in several feet of snow. The lake froze solid and the Weasley twins were punished for bewitching several snowballs so that they followed Quirrell around, bouncing off the back of his turban.
------------------------------------------
"So あなた mean the Stone's only 安全, 安全です as long as Quirrell stands up to Snape?" 発言しました Hermione in alarm.
"It'll be gone によって 次 Tuesday," 発言しました Ron.
------------------------------------------
"Now, あなた two - Behave yourselves. If I get one word that you've blown up a toilet または - " [Mrs. Weasley]
"Blown up a toilet? We've never blown up a toilet."
"Great idea though, thanks, Mum."
------------------------------------------
Speaking quietly so that no one else would hear, Harry told the other two about Snape's sudden, sinister desire to be a Quidditch referee.
"Don't play," 発言しました Hermione at once.
"Say you're ill," 発言しました Ron.
"Pretend to break your leg," Hermione suggested.
"Really break your leg," 発言しました Ron.
------------------------------------------
"See?" 発言しました Hermione, when Harry and Ron had finished. "The dog must be guarding Flamel's Sorcerer's Stone! I bet he asked Dumbledore to keep it 安全, 安全です for him, because they're フレンズ and he knew someone was after it, that's why he wanted the Stone moved out of Gringotts!"
"A stone that makes ゴールド and stops あなた from ever dying!" 発言しました Harry. "No wonder Snape's after it! Anyone would want it."
"And no wonder we couldn't find Flamel in that Study of 最近 Developments in Wizardry," 発言しました Ron. "He's not exactly 最近 if he's six hundred and sixty-five, is he?"
-----------------------------------------
Harry left the locker room alone some time later, to take his Nimbus Two Thousand back to the broomshed. He couldn't ever remember feeling happier. He'd really done something to be proud of now - no one could say he was just a famous name any more. The evening air had never smelled so sweet. He walked over the damp grass, reliving the last 時 in his head, which was a happy blur: Gryffindors running to lift him onto their shoulders; Ron and Hermione in the distance, jumping up and down, Ron cheering through a heavy nosebleed.
-----------------------------------------
"It bit me!" he said, 表示中 them his hand, which was wrapped in a bloody handkerchief.
"I'm not going to be able to hold a quill for a week. I tell you, that dragon's the most horrible animal I've ever met, but the way Hagrid goes on about it, you'd think it was a fluffy little bunny rabbit. When it bit me he told me off for frightening it. And when I left, he was 歌う it a lullaby."
-----------------------------------------
"Your aunt and uncle will be proud, though, won't they?" 発言しました Hermione as they got off the train and joined the crowd thronging toward the 魔法にかけられて barrier. "When they hear what あなた did this year?"
"Proud?" 発言しました Harry. "Are あなた crazy? All those times I could've died, and I didn't manage it? They'll be furious..."
-----------------------------------------
"There was a horrible smell in the キッチン 次 morning when Harry went for breakfast. It seemed to be coming from a large metal tub in the sink. He went to have a look. The tub was full of what looked like dirty rags swimming in grey water.
"What's this?" he asked Petunia.
"Your new school uniform," she said.
"Oh," he said. "I didn't realise it had to be so wet."
credit - Mugglenet