ハリーポッター Article: harry potter jokes

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posted by katlovesbtr

Harry Potter Jokes

Why did Harry potter?
Because he didn’t feel like rushing!

What’s the difference between a wizard and the letters M A K E S?
One makes spells, the other spells makes!

Why was Dobby always saying sorry?
Because he had low elf-esteem!

What did Harry's godfather say when Harry kept poking him?
"That's enough now Harry! I'm Sirius!"

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
あなた know!
あなた know who?
It's okay, he's dead! あなた can say his name now, silly

knock knock.
who's there?
wingardium levio.
wingardium levio-who?
It's wingardium leviosAAAAAAAAR

How many wizards does it take to change a lightbulb?
None — wizards don’t use electricity!

Why did Professor Snape stand in the middle of the road?

So no one could tell what side he was on.

A blind wizard walks into a pub. He says to the barkeep, "Want to hear a Hufflepuff joke?" The pub goes completely silent. The barkeep says, "Sir, I am a Hufflepuff. I'm used to handling a rough crowd alone. I have my wand drawn. The wizard to your left is an auror with his wand drawn. He too is a Hufflepuff. The witch on your right has her wand drawn. She is a dueling champion and also a Hufflepuff. Are あなた absolutely certain あなた want to tell that Hufflepuff joke?"

The blind wizard says, "Gods no! Not if I'm going to have to explain it three times!"

What do あなた get when あなたクロス Crookshanks with McGonagall

Really ugly kittens

angelbarbie20, bdavis98 and 2 others like this

daniellexoxo_23 Why did Professor Snape stand in the middle of the road? So no one could tell what side he was on. -- The only one I burst out laughing to

nany5755 lol!

happygrrrr Love it!!!!!!!!

elsafan1010 Love it!

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Harry Potter - 年 Five

added by kathiria82

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5th Year, Not-So-Perfect Chapter 13

posted by peppergirl30

Lily's POV

They need a horcrux? From me? But によって Abby's smug look, I can tell that they're tactful planners. They must know that the Weasleys aren't going down with a fight: They've been expecting us. Suddenly I wish that I had listened to James, that I had just backed out of all of this. Tamara surely would do it, do this even better than I could.

I took a deep breath and answered them.
__________________________________________________

Rose's POV

I'm almost afraid to go to the Great Hall. Face all those people. People who know me, または Hugo, または Al.. somebody that's linked to me. Why did Hugo have...

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The owl Errol and cruelty to 動物

posted by bendaimmortal

The Weasley family has an owl named Errol and it's very old; it's moulting, and so exhausted that it can't even stand up after a flight - In fact it often downright loses consciousness after both long and short flights. If it even gets to where it's sent, because its eye vision has gotten so poor that it hits objects as it flies, which also can make it lose consciousness and could even kill it. Still the Weasley's keep using it for delievering their mail. In addition, their youngest son shows no compassion to it, calling it a "bloody bird", "menace" and "pathetic". And the Weasley parents bought...

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How do あなた know when あなた take harry potter 2 seriously?

posted by rk1241

I got this off another website, check it out:

How do あなた know you're taking Harry Potter too seriously?

Your computer says "You've Got Mail" and あなた run outside looking for an owl.
あなた ask for a ほうき for Christmas.
あなた sort everyone あなた meet into the four Hogwarts houses.
あなた went out and bought the latest edition of the Webster's Dictionary because they added the word "muggle".
あなた were burned trying to get through the flames of your fireplace.
あなた were kicked out of the movie theater for standing on your chair, throwing your shoe at the screen and yelling "THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN IN THE BOOK!"

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plese 登録する hartclan

posted by cat100

plese 登録する hartclan for chance at deputy and 2 props..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

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HARR POTTER ファン OF THE WEEK CONTEST OPEN

posted by koolamelia

Again, I'm really sorry for it coming late. I completely forgot but from now on, I promise I'll try to keep the contest going and try not to forget!

If you're interested in entering The ファン of the Week Contest, only a few rules apply. あなた can only enter once for obvious reasons, あなた CAN vote for yourself, when entering, please include a pciture of your favourite character, あなた CAN 広告 yourself i.e post of people's ウォール asking them to vote for you, making an artical saying why あなた should win etc.

After the contest has closed, the winner will be interviewed. The 質問 will come threw...

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Pottermore: Hermione Granger from Chapters 6, 10, 11, 14, 15, 17

posted by koolamelia

Hermione Granger is a Gryffindor student and the best witch in her 年 at Hogwarts. She has lots of bushy brown hair, brown eyes and large front teeth, and frequently demonstrates her impressive knowledge. Her parents are Muggle dentists.

Discovered in chapter 6 The Journey from Platform Nine and Three-Quarters

Hermione quickly earns a reputation as a bossy know-it-all at Hogwarts. Harry and Ron initially try to ignore her

Discovered in chapter 10 Hallowe'en

When, on Hallowe’en, Ron calls Hermione “a nightmare,” Hermione spends the rest of the 日 crying in the first-floor girls’ toilet....

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Pottermore: Number Four, イボタノキ, プライベート Drive

posted by koolamelia

The name of the 通り, ストリート where the Dursleys live is a reference to that most suburban plant, the イボタノキ, プライベート bush, which makes neat hedges around many English gardens. I liked the associations with both suburbia and enclosure, the Dursleys being so smugly middle class, and so determinedly separate from the wizarding world. The name of their area is 'Little Whinging', which again sounds appropriately parochial and sniffy, 'whinging' being a colloquial term for 'complaining または whining' in British English.

J.K Rowling:

Although I describe the Dursleys' house as big and square, as befitted Uncle Vernon's...

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Potttermore-Ghost Plot

posted by sharon-sel

J.K. Rowling's thoughts

This is a personal expression, which has nothing to do with tales of the dead.

Over the seventeen years that I planned and wrote the seven Harry Potter 本 (not to mention Quidditch through the Ages, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them and The Tales of Beedle the Bard), I generated a mass of information about the magical world that never appeared in the books. I liked knowing these things (which was fortunate, 与えられた that I couldn't stop my imagination spewing it all out) and often, when I needed a throwaway detail, I had it ready because of the background I had...

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Calypso p.7

posted by princessofmagic

Calypso's P.O.V.

Being dead wasn't bad at all. No sarcasm. When Calypso died, her soul landed in a big red room. No,it wasn't a room, but like a big red empty space. Different souls were cruised around her, to see who she was. Calyspo heard one soul say "Another one? Why are we getting so many kids?"

"Tiss a shame, there all dying far to young." another 発言しました sadly. Calypso raised an eyebrow. A lot of the souls left, but one remained. It was Dumbledor.

"Calypso Cryson. Seventh year, Slytherin. I remember あなた all right. Even though あなた did あなた best to avoid being seen によって me, I noticed the resemblance...

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Lord Voldemort Takes a フェイスブック Survey

posted by KateKicksAss

Credit: link. I didn't write it myself.

"I like taking pointless フェイスブック surveys as much as the 次 person. But, since they’re mostly about kissing, I started to wonder how someone completely incapable of feeling 愛 might handle such things. So I just had to tag my good pal Lord Voldemort in my most 最近 survey. Here's what he had to say:

Was your last キッス standing up, sitting down, または lying down?
The only キッス I believe in is the Dementor's kiss, and as I have very little soul remaining in my withered husk of a body, one would have little effect on me.

Whose ベッド were あなた on last?
Nagini's,...

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The Bravest Man I Ever Knew

posted by siriusblack4eva

Severus Snape was, in fact The Bravest Man I Ever Knew. "Albus Severus, あなた were named for two headmasters at Hogwarts, one of them was a Slytherin. And he was, probably, the bravest man I ever knew." Severus Snape fought for what was right. "A true wizard on the inside. Not afraid of what he had to do" "Long 前 I had a teacher. A sallow skinned Slytherin with long black hair. I hated him and he seemed to hate me too. Though I branded him a coward, he was, in fact, the bravest man I ever knew."
So, I say, to Severus Snape, 'You were the Bravest Man I Ever Knew. Long live Snape! He was "a true wizard on the inside."'
To Snape!

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Dramione（ドラコ＆ハーマイオニー） FanFic part 2

posted by FashionBug12

Hermione dashed up the stairs to the Gryffindor commons.
"That selfish pig. That sad excuse for a pure-blood! That-"
Ron sauntered up behind her, and put his arms around her waist. During this particular year, (6th) he was being especially romantic. His red hair was illuminated によって the 火災, 火 behind them.
"Oh!" Hermione gasped. "Hello Ronald, how's your evening?"
He swayed her back and forth slowly, and kissed her cheek. "Better now your here."
She giggled. "Cheesy, yet effective." Hermione reached up and kissed Ron's cheek.
"So, why back so late, 'Mione?" Ron asked. "Studying for our imaginary...

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Ways to annoy Voldemort. (Hilarious!)

posted by galou_2010

1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'

2. Laugh at him.

3. Wake him up によって歌うビーチ Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'

4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.

5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.

6. Smile during Death-Eater meetings and say あなた taught him everything he knows.

7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.

8. Dance the Funky Chicken.

9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.

10. Pat him on...

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James Harry Potter (the strory goes on)chapter 2

posted by totoly2

This is a ファン fiction from Harry Potter's oldest son James point of view. Enjoy.

Last night I dreamed about going to hogwarts and beaing made fun of beacause I was not as great as my dad. It is hard beaing a famous wizards dad,everyone expects あなた to live up to his reputation, and to be just as great as he was. Well, at least I was not Albus who looks exactly like dad,I however, looked like..both of them. My eyes were shockingly green like dads, I had red hair(though not as fiery as my moms), I wore glasses like my dad but my general face structure was like my moms.
As I sat up on my ベッド I...

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James Harry Potter (the strory goes on)chapter 1

posted by totoly2

Hello everyone, this is a story from Harry's oldest son James point of view. Its my first ファン fiction but i hope あなた enjoy!

Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermonie were over,them, mom,dad,Albus my younger brother,lily my baby sister and I were all at the 表, テーブル chatting,well at least the adults were,me and my brother were just listening to the adults go on and on about there time at Hogwarts.
"-remember when we followed those spiders into the forest and met Aragog the giant spider?" my dad was asking Uncle Ron.
"Don't even remind me harry!" Uncle Ron exclaimed
"When was that?" Hermonie asked
"You would not remember...

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11 Comebacks to use when Voldemort says he's going to kill あなた

posted by KateKicksAss

Credit: mugglenet.com
I didn't write this, I just thought it was really funny.

1. "What did I ever do to y..oh, nevermind."

2. "Oh, ha ha, あなた got me!! Am I on Punk'd? Where's the camera guy, huh? Where!?"

3. "Wow, you're even dumber than あなた look, and that's saying something. What kind of idiot tells their victim what they're about to do?! I'm ready for あなた now!!" *Prepare yourself によって getting into various Matrix positions, beckon him with one finger*

4. "And she's all 'F.Y.I., he's so into me and not you.' and I'm all 'Yeah, right, whatever.' Oh, I'm sorry! Did あなた say something?"

5. "Why do you...

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The Prince and his Heavenly Princess

posted by Persephone713

September 1981
Godrics Hollow pub.

Lily was looking around as though she were scared of who may come knocking. It was an eerie night but the moon managed to peak between the clouds that were circulating above, then..the pub door opened and in walked her old friend Severus.

" Lily"..said Severus taken aback によって her beauty in the gleam of the moonlight. Her pale silky smooth skin, Beautiful Autumn colored hair and エメラルド green eyes that sparkled like diamonds.

" You..you came" 発言しました Snape

"Of course" 発言しました Lily " I know あなた never...meant to call me what あなた did Sev, besides I might not have much time."...

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Remembering Severus Snape

posted by LifesGoodx3

Severus Snape

Severus Snape was killed on May 2nd, 1998, によって Voldemort. Voldemort killed him because he thought that Snape was the master of the Elder Wand, and if he killed him, then he would be the master.

Snape is a half-blood. He did not have a good childhood. It is possible that he was neglected at home. Also, he was bullied によって James Potter and Sirius Black from the moment he started attending the school. Taking the bullying to far once, Sirius almost led Snape to a certain death. Sirius told Snape about the hidden passageway under the Whomping Willow, which led to the Shrieking Shack. There Remus Lupin...

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How reliable 情報源 the Harry Potter Wiki is?

posted by bendaimmortal

I don't consider the Harry Potter Wiki as reliable. Because according to its canon policy: if Rowling hasn't specifically denied something about a film in the 本または in other words, whatever the films say is to be first and foremost promoted in the 記事 as a canon fact instead of the books' facts.

In my logic it should be the other way around. That the books' canon should be promoted first and foremost - exactly becasuse the 本 are the tier 1 canon and the 映画 only the tier 2 または 3 even - and because we can not be sure what about the films are from Rowling's hints and what are just...