1-I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House Colors（色） indicate that they are "covered in bees".
2-No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.
3-Growing マリファナ または hallucinogenic mushrooms is not "an extra credit project for Herbology".
4-"I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.
5-I am not allowed to attempt to breed a liger.
6-I will not go to class skyclad.
7-The Giant Squid is not an appropriate 日付 to the Yule Ball.
8-I will not use Umbridge's quill to write "I told あなた I was hardcore".
9-I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful".
10-Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable. "Polishing my wand" in the common room is not.
11-If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.
12-House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
13-Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.
14-I will not start every Potions class によって asking Professor Snape if today's project is suitable for use as a sexual lubricant.
15-Adding the name "Bueller" to Professor Binns' roster is not funny.
16-"Springtime for Voldemort" is not an acceptable suggestion for the class play.
17-Seamus Finnegan is not "after me Lucky Charms".
18-I will not refer to the Weasley twins as "bookends".
19-I will not refer to the Patil twins as "bookends".
20-The Slytherin prefect is named Draco Malfoy, not "Rocky Horror."
21-It is exceptionally tasteless to tell Professor Lupin that "Once あなた go Black, あなた never go back."
22-I will not call Lucius Malfoy "Jareth".
23-I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.
24-I am not to refer to the Potions classroom as "Kitchen Stadium".
25-I will not tell Ron and Hermione to "Get a room" whenever they start to fight.
26-The Forbidden Forest is forbidden for a reason.
27-I am not a tribble Animagus.
28-I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, または owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, または piranha.
29-I do not weigh the same as a duck.
30-Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.
31-Sirius Black is not #24601.
32-I will not lick Trevor.
33-I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.
34-I am not being repressed.
35-Calling Lucius Malfoy "Luscious Mouthful" is just plain gross.
36-I will not change the パスワード to the prefects' bath to "Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty".
37-There is no such thing as an Invisibility Thong.
38-I am not a Pinball Wizard.
39-Asking "How do あなた keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" and walking away is only funny the first time.
40-I will not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey.
41-I will not offer to pose nude for Dean Thomas.
42-It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.
43-It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself too seriously.
44-Sir Cadogan is not one of the knights who say "NI".
45-I will not offer to prepare tandoori owl.
46-I will stop asking when we will learn to make "Love Potion Number Nine".
47-I will not ask Dumbledore to 表示する me the pointy hat trick.
48-I will not greet Professor McGonagall with "What's new, pussycat?"
49-There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth House at Hogwarts, and I am not a member of that house, nor am I its founder.
50-I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.