Rachel: Mr. Schuester, do あなた have any idea how ridiculous it is to give the lead solo in "Sit Down, You're Rocking the Boat" to a boy in a wheelchair?
Artie: I think Mr. Schue's using irony to enhance the performance.
Rachel: There's *nothing* ironic about 表示する choir! (Pilot)

The もっと見る time Rachel storms out of rehearsal, the less impact it has. (Preggers)

(Talking about boys beating girls) We're planning on smacking them down like the hand of God. (Vitamin D)

Puck, with respect, you're もっと見る helpful when あなた don't contribute. (Vitamin D)

(To Finn about his newfound energy) Has your soul been taken over によって caffeinated 宇宙 aliens? (Vitamin D)

(To Tina upon his accident) But I want to be very clear... I still have the use of my penis. (Wheels)

(To Rachel) You're irritating. But don't take that personally. (Wheels)

Artie: I'd 愛 to be in the 写真 Rachel, but I'd be sitting and you'd be standing, and it throws off the whole composition!
Rachel: I'll lean over.
Artie: But, if あなた lean over, it'll look like あなた have stomach rolls.
Rachel: On 秒 thought, I don't think you're leadership material, Artie!
Artie: *points to self* Follower. (Mattress)

Mercedes: What's a "patriotic" wedgie?
Finn: It's when they hoist あなた up the flagpole によって your undies.
Artie: Strangely, it did make me feel もっと見る American. (Mattress)

(Talking to Rachel about Run Joey Run) あなた had me at sex tape. How can I help? (Bad Reputation)

(Talking about trying to get a reputation) We have to do what we've been dreading. Something もっと見る terrifying than Rachel's personality. (Bad Reputation)

I sound like someone put tap shoes on a horse then shot it. (Dream On)

Tina: あなた ignored me for weeks this summer.
Artie: I was playing a marathon game of Halo, woman. (Audition)

(About Sam) Finn: I like this kid.
Artie: I like his confidence. But the Bieber cut's gotta go. (Audition)

(To Coach Beiste about football) I really want to play. I want my girlfriend back and... I want abs. (Audition)

(After Brittany says she's into Artie) Artie: You've never made eye contact with me.
Brittany: For awhile, I thought あなた were a robot. (Duets)

Sam: Chicken, egg whites, fish-no salmon, oatmeal, brown ご飯, 米 but not after 6 PM, no バター または oil, and no soda...
Finn: That’s all あなた eat?
Sam: Ain’t no carpool lane to sexy.
Artie: Damn straight. (Rocky Horror glee/グリー Show)

(To Santana and Brittany, following Puck's advice) All I can say is that I don’t want a long-term relationship with either of you; especially Brittany since I’m not in 愛 with her. (Never Been Kissed)

(About Sam punching Karofsky) Mike: Dude´s a mad animal!
Artie: He´s a manimal. (Furt)

(To Tina upon talking about a problem) Is the problem your outfit? あなた look like a cheerleader zombie corpse. (Special Education)

I told my parents I only want one thing for クリスマス this year: stop friending me on Facebook. (A Very glee/グリー Christmas)

Brittany was the only person we could find on short notice. We bribed her with Dots. (A Night of Neglect)

(To Sunshine) Seriously, with your size, あなた could easily sit in the air ducts for days. (A Night of Neglect)