Two Nonsensical Poems Written によって EverybodyLies, who was forced into this によって DarkSarcasm. grr.

Demerits at Camp Skyline Ranch For Girls

Demerits at Camp Skyline Ranch for Girls

-7 for freezing the ketchup, mustard, and mayonnaise packets
-7 for terrorizing local wildlife rangers
-7 for directing all visiting parents into the riflery range, where children were having class.
-7 for referring to splint on foot as ‘toe condom’
-7 for failure to return from one 日 canoeing trip for four days
-7 for rigging the TV to only play the dancing scene from The Breakfast Club
-7 for harboring a fugitive in the snack closet
-7 for breaking into the nurse’s medicine cabinet
-7 for locking self in the Dining Hall and eating all of the dessert
-7 for inviting USA Today to investigate the rumors of an occult gathering under the auditorium
-7 for refusal to leave the boys’ side at the Sadie Hawkins Dance
-7 for leaving Bubba the Demon Bobcat in the head counselor’s bed
-7 for barricading fellow campers in their room によって stacking their trunks in front of their door
-7 for editing schedule to include five free periods
-7 for pushing campers off the trapeze
-7 for suggesting RENT as the Chorus & Drama production
-7 for telling the younger campers that the girl who left last 年 in the middle of fourth session wasn’t really homesick… she was a zombie




It Had To Happen Sometime
It Had To Happen Sometime

I don’t want him to hate me.
George ブッシュ doesn’t like black people.
Addressing envelopes isn’t nearly as freeing as they make it sound.
The ハート, 心 of the Ocean.
At any 与えられた moment, I am two 分 away from a poncho.
The rattlesnake was unavoidable.
I try on pain of death to avoid parallel parking.
There is no originality, only authenticity.
Tuna tastes nothing like chicken.
I’ll give あなた a hint: It’s easier than あなた think.
He owes my three dollars. Last I heard he was dead.
The drawer blocked the stove.
How’s the wife? Pregnant, again. Well, that happens.
I 愛 Stephen King! We have もっと見る of his 本 in our room.
Why are entire years strewn on the cutting-room floor of memories?
A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other.
HULK SMASH!!
Identity theft is not a joke, Jim!
Let he among あなた without sin be the first to throw a stone.
I want to be like you.
Maybe we’re not in Kansas anymore because it grew tired of us.
Lassie couldn’t rescue her.
I couldn’t クロス the fence, as it was covered in thorns.
あなた used to make me smile.
The dust bowl was totally not worth it.
I’m sorry I couldn’t be what あなた wanted.
My daughter was ill that day.
Then I found five dollars.