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In which we went INSIDE THE MACHINE (junket) to marvel at Insurgent\'s shiny stars

was A LOT like jumping through a hole and discovering the Dauntless food hall: The Four Seasons breakfast banquet was amazing (Dauntless caaake) and the halls were lousy with male *ahem* talent. Seriously, how did the producers manage to hook Ansel Elgort, Theo James, Jai Courtney, Miles Teller, and Keiynan Lonsdale into donning their leathers to star in

Seeing them in the (golden) flesh, I wanted to scream, “THIS IS WHY WE MUST SAVE HUMANITY, JEANINE MATTHEWS BE DAMNED.

Those stars, it\'s safe to say, probably did not spend the last 15 minutes before the press conference chasing down waffles and bacon like a half-crazed buffalo in a blind hunger rage. They probably spent it doing sit-ups. Or bouncing quarters off their abdomens. (I, on the other hand, rounded up eggs, bacon, sausage, one muffin, one croissant, a side of ketchup, a side of jam, and coffee, because whether you have to fight for a revolution or blog for the internet, you MUST EAT.)

The press conference was split into two factions, if you please: strapping young men first, and then savvy, golden, steely girls second. Our boyfriends dished up all the sauce about working on

crushing on their lady co-stars and #buffguyproblems like ripping their pants (unrelated to the former) as they sat glowing, shining, radiating beauty from behind a long white table, elevated on a platform like the gods that they are. (I, meanwhile, endeavored simply to not kick my own coffee onto the rug in front of me.) The female stars of

gave us the goss on ending the search for Four with Theo, finding a female hero to believe in, and what it\'s like on the inside of one of Shailene\'s famous hugs.

The junket, like the movie itself, was ONE WILD RIDE, Divergents—like exponentially more thrilling than the first, if that is possible. Here’s how it went down… (click on for the MOST ADORBS Ansel GIFs of all time

Topics: Books, Entertainment, Celebs & Stuff, Mindhut

Tags: movies, celebrities, books we love, slideshows, interviews, shailene woodley, veronica roth, authors we love, insurgent, miles teller, theo james, ansel elgort, divergent series, octavia spencer, naomi watts, they are all the chosen ones, plus why ansel is the *most* adorkable, plus why ansel is the most adorkable ever

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