Canada24's club.. Article: Canada24 reviews JAWS 4:

posted by Canada24

Oh god.. Oh god...

I grew up with this movie.. As a kid I thought, this wasn't "that" bad... BOOOY was I wrong..

Early on we get Sean's death 鮫, サメ attack.. Well, a shaky camera IMPLYING a 鮫, サメ attack.. All while his screams are drowned によって the クリスマス singers.. I know this because they switch back to the singers it at least 12 fucking times during the whole sequence..

I swear to god, this movie is just depressing as hell.. Not scary.. And Ellen (Martins wife) believew the 鮫, サメ was WAITING for Sean.. It came for him because of what Martin did to his buddies..

(Dr. Elkins: Sharks don't take things personally, Mr. Brody.)

I could go on and on about that.. But that's only ONE of the many problems.. Like Michael running mid conversation down a beach.. Which is never explained why.

So, anyway, Ellen doesn't want anyone anywhere near the ビーチ ever again... Wait, why would they EVER go the ビーチ after the other films!?.

She says it killed Sean.. And Martin died from fear..

Martin. Died.. From fear... MARTIN!!
あなた know, the guy who blows up the first one after shoving a gas tank into it’s mouth. “Smile あなた son of a BITCH!".. And friggin electrocutes the second.. After luring it and saying "All right, あなた big bastard! Come On! I've got something for ya' now! That's it! Attaboy, come one! Right over here! Open wide OPEN WIDE! SAY AAH!”… Only scene from JAW 2, that makes it worth watching..

Than again.. This actually makes sense when あなた think about.. Espically after Quint’s death.. But still lame..

And why the fuck do they never fucking 移動する away!? This place is a clear danger zone (Highway to the danger zone), Why do the body’s still go to the beach.. あなた think they’d learn によって now..

So the family FINALLY head to the Bohamas.. But the 鮫, サメ followed them..

CHRIS STUCKMANN: The Shark.. Followed them... From New York.. To the Bohamas.

So, appearently Ellen has some kind of X-men connection with this thing. When it's nearby she literary bursts up like a deer being spotted.. It's hilarious.

She also starts a romance with Michael Cane.. Cause nobody ever remembers the characters name.

So after the 鮫, サメ attacks the whole family. Including the little girl. Ellen steals Michael's ボート and hunts down the shark... UNARMED!!

So Michael and his friend go after Ellen. On Cane's plane, and the 鮫, サメ attacks Cane.. Which only seems to mildly annoy him. And he later appears unharmed. Not even a lousy scatch.. または a fucking wet t-shirt!

So michael's friend has some knd of science thing that drives the 鮫, サメ crazy. But Jake (yes that's his name) jumps in -I mean, falls into the Sharks mouth. And assumably dies. So Michael uses that science thing to make the 鮫, サメ angry.. It shows this by.. ROARING!!

CHRIS STUCKMANN: Sharks don't have fucking vocal cords!

In the end. Ellen slams the boats front into the shark. Which causes it to literary EXPLODE!! And than using the same image from Jaws 1, it sinks to the sea.. The EXACT image. And just before this, there's Ellen having all these flashbacks towards events she was "never present for", including Martins "Smile あなた son of a BITCH!".
Reminding me, I could be watching the good one..

Not this.. shit!.. THIS FUCKING SHIT!!

Oh, and Jake lives.. And he's even cracking jokes.. あなた know, as we ALL would after being nearly eaten によって a giant great white..

And that's how it ends..

So yeah.. あなた can watch for a few unintended laughs.. But otherwise. Lets pretend this never existed.. Like the producers are doing about the third...

A roaring shark!?

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上, ページのトップへ ten fastest ways to piss off CANADA24

posted by Canada24

#1:
Tell him ALL blonde girls are idiots..

#2:
Tell him a girl is "out of his league"..

#3:
Put on Country Music..

#4:
Put on ANY teen sitcom other than Sweet life of Zack and Cody, またはドレイク, ドレーク and Josh. Heck. Even iCarly（アイ・カーリー） isn't too bad..

#5:
Convince him into giving a fuck about politics..

#6:
Steal his X-Box..

#7:
Make him watch PowerPuff Girls..

#8:
Remind him that he has no life outside of Fanpop..

#9:
Remind him that GTA 5 STILL doesn't friggin work, and I'm stuck with the 4 games..

#10:
Talk shit about his 動画 (just kidding)..

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3 steps to survive a 鮫, サメ attack

posted by Canada24

#1: REMAIN CALM AND NO SUDDEN MOVEMENTS:
The 鮫, サメ may not be planning to attack you.. So don't give the animal any reason to feel threatened. Don't try to out swim away either, unless you're already very close to shore. Sharks can swim 5 times faster than the average human, and this is the most 人気 mistake that people make. 移動する slowly toward the 海岸, ショアまたは a boat; choose whichever is closest. Don't thrash your arms または kick または splash while あなた swim..

#2: KEEP YOUR EYE ON IT:
And never block the shark's path. If you're standing between the 鮫, サメ and the open ocean, 移動する away, または else the 鮫, サメ will feel threatened..

#3: AIM FOR THE EYES:
If the 鮫, サメ DOSE attack, あなた still need to stay calm. I know this is easier 発言しました than done. But. あなた need to remember one thing.. The eyes and gills are sensitive to shark, attacking these spots will harm the Shark, and it will back off..

上, ページのトップへ eight most BADASS anti-heroes

posted by Canada24

#1: THE PUNISHER:
The Punisher (Frank Castle) is perhaps one of the best examples of an anti-hero - created and owned によって Marvel Comics this vigilante is both a protagonist (with his own series and film franchise) and antagonist. He has also allied himself with the Thunderbolts.

Frank 城 was once a decorated U.S. Marine with a happy life and family, until one fateful and tragic 日 when he and his family accidentally stumbled upon a gang lynching in a park. His wife and children were gunned down and he was left for dead. Horribly scarred for life, 城 swore to "punish" all criminals in...

1

上, ページのトップへ ten Misanthropes (villains who have a serious hatred to humanity)

posted by Canada24

Jonah

#1: JONAH WADE:
Jonah is the leader of the 40th 日 Initiative and takes over Shanghai with the help of his army. His reasoning for launching his attack on Shanghai is to prove that without any formal government to supervise them, people are nothing もっと見る than 動物 who are heartless and greedy..

#9: ADOLF HILTER:
We all know the story..

#8: MARGARET WHITE:
the main antagonist of Stephen King's novel Carrie, its film adaptations, and the Broadway musical. After Chris Hargensen's death, Margaret replaces her as the true main antagonist. She is the domineering, abusive, insane (she shows possible...

2

上, ページのトップへ ten GTA characters I PERSONALLY hate.

posted by Canada24

Yes, I know this is stealing Wind's idea..
But he'll forgive me.
Always dose..

#1: BILLY GREY:
In early 2008, Billy was arrested with heroin and placed in rehab. Johnny became president in his place, giving Billy's motorcycle to the 天使 of Death as a peace offering.

Johnny has worked hard to make peace with THE 天使 OF DEATH.
And within only five 分 after his return, Billy has broke the troche, and restarted the war.
So, yeah, that's why their mentioned to be fighting in the other two games.

In the TBoGT mission Chinese Takeout, it is revealed that Billy was making a deal with a Triad...

上, ページのトップへ 10 songs that are secretly disturbing

posted by Canada24

#1: ピンク Floyd - Young Lust:
Pink, the main character of THE ウォール album.
Has achieved wealth and fame, and is usually away from home, due to the demands of his career as a touring performer. He is having casual sex with groupies to relieve the tedium of the road, and is living a separate life from his wife.

The end of the song is a segment of dialogue between ピンク and a telephone operator, as ピンク twice attempts to place a transatlantic collect call to his wife. A man answers, and when the operator asks if he will accept the charges, the man simply hangs up. This is how ピンク learns that his wife...

1

Canada24 回答 dumb questions: PART 2

posted by Canada24

How does sex start?
"With human contact!"

How long can a little girl hold her breathe
"3 weeks"

How do I ask a 質問 on Yahoo Answers?
"YOU JUST DID!!"

How do あなた tell which side of the potato chip is saltier?
"Take it to McDonald's"

Do midgets have night vision?
"Only in Mexico"

Can あなた lose your virginity if あなた fall?
"Only if it's off a bike"

How do I take care of my pet potato?
"With 愛 and a full stomach"

What if the girl that thinks I'm the dad isn't the mom?
"...................... WHAT!?"

How do I get accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?
"You draw a lighting bolt on your fourhead,...

Crazy Times FULL STORY... Part five

posted by Canada24

A FEW DAYS LATER:

"Thanks for meeting with us McReary? Were あなた followed?" Michael asked.

"No.. I mean.. I don't think so.. What's this about!?" Packie cried, as he came to meet with Michael, Franklyn, Trevor and Lester.

"Who is this punk!? Why dose he get to come!?" Trevor cried.

"He's the leader of his group, so it seems a 安全, 安全です bet to add him in on the planning" Michael replied.

"I would of rathered あなた bring Caryl.. Than THIS loser!" Trevor cried.

"Hey fuck あなた ma-

"Hey, hey, can we not do this wait now?" Franklyn cried, stepping in between them.

"Besides Trevor.. Carly IS coming.. She'll just be...

Crazy Times FULL STORY... Part three

posted by Canada24

MEANWHILE:

"Excuse me, are the one that ストール, 盗んだ Maureen's necklace?" Dash asked a guy she saw smoking on a park bench.

"Oh, あなた mean that old Irish lady.. What's it too you?" The guy replied.

"Give it back.. または I will have to hurt you" Dash threatened.

The guy laughed it off.

"Look beautiful.. Why don't あなた just get ロスト before I call my boys over here and MAKE あなた lea-

Suddenly his sentence was cut short によって Dash violently tackling him to the ground

"I'm not screwing around anymore.. Hand it over" Dash demanded.

"Ahh!.. あなた crazy bitch! I'm calling my boys-

Dash cut his sentence short によって pressing his...

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上, ページのトップへ ten DICK fathers:

posted by Canada24

#1: DENETHOR - LORD OF THE RINGS:
He loves Boromir.
But could care less about his younger son Faramir.
To point he tells Faramir, to his face, he wishes Boromir was one that survived.
And sends Faramir on a sucide mission.

He redeems though. But dose in the worst possible way.

He falls into madness when he believes a wounded Faramir is dead from a futile effort to retake Osgiliath, leaving Gandalf to command the city defences against the Orc army under Gothmog. But as Gothmog's forces eventually force their way into the city, Denethor tries to kill himself and Faramir on a bonfire. Luckily, Pippin...

2

Windwakerguy430's 上, ページのトップへ Ten XBox Games I Recommend to Canada24 (If He Hasn't Already Played Them)

posted by Windwakerguy430

So, Canada24. He’s a sarcastic, impolite, possibly psychotic jerk, yet that’s what we’re good フレンズ (Of course, I’m only kidding), and what I know about him is that he owns an XBox. And I also know that he as some pretty good games, like GTA, Assassin’s Creed, and Dead Rising. However, there are also those other good games for the console that he probably doesn’t have yet. So, I want to share with him (And all of you) A few games that I well recommend to him. Now, before I start, these are games only for the XBox 360, weather they are on discs, または can be bought from the XBox Store....

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My 上, ページのトップへ five most 人気 reviews

posted by Canada24

#1: ALPHA AND OMEGA STORIES:
My constant angry rants about the heavy amounts of rape, incest, torture, murder and all the hate on poor Kate. Leaves these reviews with a lot of entertainment value.
Along with my ways of comparing the characters to My Little ポニー and giving people different ways to look at it.
A lot of people say my words are harse, and their probably right.
But still people 愛 these articles, and constantly ask me to review their stories. Finally giving me a reason to return to this ファン base after nearly 4 years of being away from Alpha and Omega...

#2: HELLSING:
I gave the best...

1

6 reviewers from back in my Alpha and Omega days... (I still makes these to this day)

posted by Canada24

#1; LILLYS OPPOSITE SIDE:
Well. Here I go..

Obviously, the main reason for not liking this, is the sex.
So much fuckin sex, sex, SEX!
Sadly, it's not the first story to involve 'incest', nor is it the 'worst'.
Though it's certainly up there.

There's even one between Kate and Lilly in this story.
I mean. For goodness sakes. There sisters, there's so many reasons why that is wrong.
Though least its better than when I read a story about Kate and Lilly 'doing' Winston, and he 'letting them'.
Seriously. What is wrong with people!?

As あなた expect.
The full story is the type of deal that makes あなた hate Lilly....

2

上, ページのトップへ 8 best things about being a Brony

posted by Canada24

#8: PINKIE'S CUTENESS LEVEL's:
Although this can be for EVERY character. Partially Scootaloo.
However.
Fluttershy is overrated.. There. I 発言しました it.. (sits and waits for the haters)

#7: RULE 84 GAGS:
Though this also counts as the WORST thing.
But either way
I never would of realised how much I was missing out on.
Though. At the same time.
Part of the reason I became a brony in the first place is I found a image of it, when looking though Skyrim images..

#6: ポニー音楽 VIDEOS:
No comments..

#5: DISCORD:
These days, Discord (John De Lancie) is the main reason I still watch the 表示する itself.
As even though...

2

上, ページのトップへ 5 WORST TRAITS ABOUT CANADA24 (Connor T. Noiles):

posted by Canada24

I am differently not someone people should look up to as role model.. Though some people still do...

#1: DOUCHEBAG:
I am not ALWAYS trying to keep the peace.
Sometimes I am trying to make people hate each other even もっと見る for my own enjoyment of seeing writers go back and forth at each other.
And when people troll ME I just do what I can to make them hate me even more..

#2: HYPOCRISY:
I am always whining about there needing to be no CLOPPING, but the truth, I DO like 読書 them sometimes, kinda makes me a dick when あなた think about it..

#3: SELF HATE:
I often make fun of myself.
Saying I'm a stupid...

1

上, ページのトップへ 10 Most disturbing moments in human history

posted by Canada24

#10: SLAVERY:
No comment..

#9: ASSASINATIONS:
The idea of it disturbs me..

#8: MEDIEVAL TORTURING:
What was wrong with people back then!?

#7: HALOCOAST:
The Holocaust, also known as the Shoah, was a genocide in which approximately six million Jews were killed によって Adolf Hitler's Nazi regime and its collaborators. Some historians use a definition of the Holocaust that includes the additional five million non-Jewish victims of Nazi mass murders, bringing the total to approximately eleven million. Killings took place throughout Nazi Germany and German-occupied territories..

#6: TED BUNDY:
Theodore Robert...

1

上, ページのトップへ five bands who sound better in non-scream songs

posted by Canada24

#1: SLIPKNOT:
Slipknot is different. Their the only band I actually LIKE the screaming. espically in PSYCHOSOCIAL.
Especially cause it's not overly used.
But still.
Lesson to DEAD MEMORIES, and tell me that isn't もっと見る badass than his scream voice..

#2: BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE:
Again, actually LIKE Matthew Tuck's screams, just like Matt Shadows from Avenged Sevonfold and Corey Taylor of Slipknot.
But it's クーラー when their not..

#3: DROWNING POOL:
They go under the 一覧 from number 2.
But still.
It's nice to hear him using his REAL voice..

#4: 子羊, ラム OF GOD:
I am not a ファン of 子羊, ラム of God.
Their too death...

1

上, ページのトップへ 8 best walking dead battles in my opinion..

posted by Canada24

#8: DAYS GONE BYE:
No better way to introduce a series, than with a police shoot out, that later leads to someone waking up to a zombie apocalypse (literary).
I mean.
Who HASN'T felt Rick's fear and confusion, what would anybody else do..

#7: TRIGGER FINGER:
When Glenn and Rick try to retrieve a, probably traumatized, Hershal from a bar they are greeted によって two strangers witch eventually ends in Rick shooting them both dead, and when their フレンズ find out they get angry and full out gunfight begins.

#6: BESIDE THE DYING FIRE:
The entire first half the episode is one big battle, gotta 愛 that.....

2

上, ページのトップへ five female singers who USE to be hot

posted by Canada24

#5: MADONNA:
Not much to say..

#4: MILEY CYRUS:
I never liked her myself.
But did "respect" her once..
But it's fair to say.
She ロスト that privilege..

#3: LADY GAGA:
Se probably still is, I don't know.. It's been many many years since I cared about Lady Gaga.
But her song Just Dance was once a token of my childhood, so I should at least mention her under this list..
Putting her as MAYBE still hot, but who hell could tell under all that max up and bizarre hair styles.
At least with Katy Perry あなた can tell she's still pretty hot, even under all those stupid outfits and shit..

#2: LINDSEY LOHAN:
A perfectv example of how once innocent people can become FUCKED UP..

#1: BRITTNEY SPEARS:
She use too be so friggin hot,
WHAT HAPPENED!?
No wait..
We KNOW what happened.
She went bold.
And took too many drugs.
Nobody cares about her anymore.
Though at least her voice is still pretty.
Unless the grand theft auto song was written BEFORE her rampage..

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上, ページのトップへ ten most misunderstood/tragic villains..

posted by Canada24

#10: FREDDY KRUEGER: (nightmare on elms street):
It's weird thinking of him as 'tragic' isn't it?
Arguably the main reason he is always defeated によって woman, is because there is ONE thing he's still afried of.. Beauty.
Witch is something completely unknown to him.
His birth was something his own "mother" wanted nothing to do with.
She was rapped によって a dozen manics and his birth 'wasn't suppose to happen'.
Because of this.
He was sent from orphanage to orphanage where he was constantly bullied によって the students, who treated him as a freak because of what happened his mother.
Eventually he was adopted by...