From an Eメール I got.

"The Rules" from the male side

We always hear ‘the rules’ from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. I’m not saying I like them, but it’s only fair to present both sides.

1.    Men are NOT mind readers.

2.    Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up. あなた need it down. あなた don’t hear us complaining about あなた leaving it down.

3.    Sunday sports: It’s like the full moon または the changing of the tides. Let it be.

4.    Crying is blackmail.

5.    Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that.

6.    Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

7.    A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

8.    Ask for what あなた want. Let us be clear on this one! Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

9.    Yes and No are perfectly acceptable 回答 to almost every question.

10.    Come to us with a problem only if あなた want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

11.    Anything we 発言しました 6 months 前 is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all コメント become Null and void after 7 Days.

12.    If あなた think you’re fat, あなた probably are. Don’t ask us.

13.    If something we 発言しました can be interpreted in two ways and one of the ways makes あなた sad または angry, we meant the other one.

14.    You can either ask us to do something または tell us how あなた want it done. Not both. If あなた already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

15.    Whenever possible, Please say whatever あなた have to say during commercials.

16.    Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

17.    ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. かぼちゃ, カボチャ is also a fruit. We have NO idea what mauve is.

18.    If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

19.    If we ask what is wrong and あなた say ‘nothing,’ we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know あなた are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

20.    If あなた ask a 質問 あなた don’t want an answer to, expect an answer あなた don’t want to hear.

21.    When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything あなた wear is fine… Really!

22.    Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless あなた are prepared to discuss such topics as Sex, Sport, または Cars.

23.    You have enough clothes.

24.    You have too many shoes.

25.    I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

26.    Thank あなた for 読書 this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the ソファー, ソファ tonight, but did あなた know men really don't mind that, it’s like camping.