Dear The-One-I’m-Glad-I-Never-Kept

I smile now, not like before. It seems like after あなた had hurt me, I got over あなた pretty quick, I guess I never really loved あなた and あなた were a waste of my time, and when あなた left I think part of me was relieved, I wasted my time crying, I guess I was blind.

That smile there, on my face, he put it there. Remember those three months あなた had put me down, made me cry, and I was still stupid enough to stay? He re-wrote that in two, he replaced my permanent frown, with a smile.

Do あなた remember that 日 I was crying, and I had went to あなた with support? Today I still wish I hadn’t, あなた had laughed and told me not to be such a baby, that I was being silly. And remember how later that night, when we had had our first fight, and あなた had called me a good for nothing ugly 雌犬 who was a waste of time and space, and I was only good for making excellent sandwiches? Remember how I had ran away crying? It was him, my friend, I ran to, who had wiped my tears away with his シャツ sleeve and told me everything was going to be okay, and asked me what had happened. When I told him he was shocked, and told me that I was もっと見る amazing then I could ever know, and あなた were a fucking idiot, and to never believe anything different anyone else told me.

Remember how あなた had 与えられた me your sweater, and I had been so happy? I realize now, that two hours before one of your フレンズ were hitting on me when あなた had walked in, and got all tense, and あなた were claiming your territory, あなた might as well have pissed on me. I realize now that the sweater didn’t feel of warmth and care, but cold, hard, possessiveness. Today he gave me his sweater because I had shivered, and he didn’t want me to catch a cold, when I zipped it up to my chin and settled into it, he laughed and 発言しました “Baby あなた look great in my sweater.”

Remember the pressure あなた had 与えられた me for sex, and every time I 発言しました no, you’d flip? Remember how it left me a little screwed in the head? When I had told him I was uncomfortable with where his hand was, によって accident, he blushed madly, and we had gotten into THE conversation all young adults in a mature relationship have. Then I told him that I wasn’t ready for sex, and I wouldn’t be soon, not at fifteen, he had grinned, and laughed, and told me that things were going to 移動する at whatever pace I felt comfortable with.

Remember when your フレンズ jokingly told あなた that あなた were whipped and my bitch, and あなた had gone ape-shit and argued with him? Some of his フレンズ joked about the same thing, and he had put his arm around me kissed my hair, and 発言しました “Yeah I guess I am, but I’m her happy bitch”.
Remember how I had rested my head against your shoulder and あなた had pushed it away saying “Cuddling is for wimps.” I fell asleep and he slipped his arm around me and let me use his chest as a pillow.

Remember when I was nervous for that test, and あなた 発言しました grow-up? Recently I had been preparing a speech, and I was incredibly nervous to present it, as I was standing in front of the class, sputtering out my words as fast as I could, my eye caught his, and he mouthed “I 愛 you, you’re doing great.”

Remember that 日 I had come to school wearing sweats, and a Skillet Tee-Shirt, with no make-up, and my hair a mess because my alarm didn’t go off? Remember how あなた had looked at me disgusted and 発言しました “You’re seriously not dressed like that?” Today the same thing happened and he smiled and welcomed me into the conversation he was having with his friends, put his arm around me, and when he got a spare moment whispered softly in my ear “You look stunning today.”
And vice-versa, remember that dress that I wore and あなた had looked at me and 発言しました “Damn my girls a hottie!” and spent the entire night trying to slip your hand up my skirt, and after I had rejected all your advances, あなた started dancing with every girl there? I wore that same dress to a school hosted winter コンサート with him, and he had looked at me funny and 発言しました “Babe, you’re beautiful, but aren’t あなた going to be cold?” and handed me his coat.

I guess the difference between あなた and him, is that I think he cares, and I guess あなた never did.

愛 from The-One-You-Will-Wish-You-Had-Never-Let-Go

p.s I still wish あなた the best, and I hope あなた grow-up soon. But the way I feel about him, isn’t going to change anytime soon, and the way I hate あなた is never going to change. So don’t bother thinking I want あなた back.