Ugh...
Everywhere around me at school, I see smoking, fighting, and cursing, I think it's ridiculous. Of course, I don't do any of that, I'm the one あなた may think of as a nerd. Unfortunately, によって today's standards, "being a nerd" actualy means "doing what's right."
I have musical talents, I can't be humble on that. I'm also pretty smart, I hardly ever study, but I've gotten honor roll all my life. When a lot of people think of me, they think of the talents I have, not my personality. And to me, personality is everything, and I think that's the way it was supposed to be. But all that matters today is someones looks and talents, and it bugs me. I guess I'm alone on that one...
And I'm nice. I purposely try to keep doors open for people, and I almost always say "thank you" または "please." Most people think that being nice is just keeping them out of their thoughts, または just not being a complete jerk to them. But I know what true kindness is about, and few people in my school actually are No one else seems to care about this one either...
Being a Christian is something I pride myself in. I go to church and youth group every week, and I strongly suggest everyone should, too. But lately, I've been starting to lose faith because of all the horrible things going on around me. I can't even remember the last time anything good came on the news that wasn't about some rich person; shootings, abuse, and murders are about all I ever see. I can't see why God would choose to do this to us. Of course, it doesn't seem to affect most people greatly, but it's making me realy depressed.
I've been close to committing suicide before, and I wouldn't be suprised if I did in the near future. No one else seems to do what's truly right, and I'm finding school pretty difficult to go through socially. I just don't find that most of the people are at all like me. Because of this, though, the フレンズ I do have are really good friends, and that's one thing I am happy about.
I always seem happy on the outside, but I have this gnawing inside of me, and it won't go away. I'm pretty good at hiding it, I'm always smiling and cracking horrible jokes, and I can definitely make other people smile. I feel so alone. There's not much I can do about it escept write an 記事 on here...
Everywhere around me at school, I see smoking, fighting, and cursing, I think it's ridiculous. Of course, I don't do any of that, I'm the one あなた may think of as a nerd. Unfortunately, によって today's standards, "being a nerd" actualy means "doing what's right."
I have musical talents, I can't be humble on that. I'm also pretty smart, I hardly ever study, but I've gotten honor roll all my life. When a lot of people think of me, they think of the talents I have, not my personality. And to me, personality is everything, and I think that's the way it was supposed to be. But all that matters today is someones looks and talents, and it bugs me. I guess I'm alone on that one...
And I'm nice. I purposely try to keep doors open for people, and I almost always say "thank you" または "please." Most people think that being nice is just keeping them out of their thoughts, または just not being a complete jerk to them. But I know what true kindness is about, and few people in my school actually are No one else seems to care about this one either...
Being a Christian is something I pride myself in. I go to church and youth group every week, and I strongly suggest everyone should, too. But lately, I've been starting to lose faith because of all the horrible things going on around me. I can't even remember the last time anything good came on the news that wasn't about some rich person; shootings, abuse, and murders are about all I ever see. I can't see why God would choose to do this to us. Of course, it doesn't seem to affect most people greatly, but it's making me realy depressed.
I've been close to committing suicide before, and I wouldn't be suprised if I did in the near future. No one else seems to do what's truly right, and I'm finding school pretty difficult to go through socially. I just don't find that most of the people are at all like me. Because of this, though, the フレンズ I do have are really good friends, and that's one thing I am happy about.
I always seem happy on the outside, but I have this gnawing inside of me, and it won't go away. I'm pretty good at hiding it, I'm always smiling and cracking horrible jokes, and I can definitely make other people smile. I feel so alone. There's not much I can do about it escept write an 記事 on here...
