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1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag あなた down to his level and beat あなた with experience.

2. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

3. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I ストール, 盗んだ a bike and asked for forgiveness.

4. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

5. Going to church doesn't make あなた a Christian any もっと見る than standing in a ガレージ makes あなた a car.
6. We live in a society where ピザ gets to your house before the police.

7. Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

8. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.


9. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until あなた hear them speak.

10. If I agreed with あなた we'd both be wrong.

11. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If あなた see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

12. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

13. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

14. Knowledge is knowing a トマト is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a フルーツ salad.

15. Children: あなた spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then あなた spend the 次 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

16. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

17. My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

18. Having sex is like playing bridge. If あなた don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

19. The early bird might get the worm, but the 秒 マウス gets the cheese.

20. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell あなた why it isn't.

21. Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

22. If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong...

23. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

24. If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

25. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?

26. If あなた think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

27. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

28. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

29. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..

30. Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but あなた can't help smiling when あなた see one tumble down the stairs.

31. Did あなた know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

32. A bank is a place that will lend あなた money, if あなた can prove that あなた don't need it.

33. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

34. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

35. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?

36. I didn't fight my way to the 上, ページのトップへ of the 食 chain to be a vegetarian

37. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

38. I didn't say it was your fault, I 発言しました I was blaming you.

39. I saw a woman wearing a sweat シャツ with "Guess" on it...so I 発言しました "Implants?"

40. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

41. Why does someone believe あなた when あなた say there are four billion stars, but check when あなた say the paint is wet?

42. The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

43. God must 愛 stupid people. He made SO many.

44. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the 通り, ストリート with a bald head and a ビール gut, and still think they are sexy.

45. Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.

46. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

47. Some people say "If あなた can't beat them, 登録する them". I say "If あなた can't beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting あなた to 登録する them, so あなた will have the element of surprise.

48. Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

49. Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.

50. あなた do not need a parachute to skydive. あなた only need a parachute to skydive twice.
50 to 100 Funny Jokes:

51. The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

52. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

53. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

54. Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.

55. Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

56. It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.

57. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

58. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

59. He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.

60. A diplomat is someone who can tell あなた to go to hell in such a way that あなた will look フォワード, 前進, 楽しみにして to the trip.

61. We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.

62. Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if あなた wish they were.

63. My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

64. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

65. When in doubt, mumble.

66. I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured によって a great white 鮫, サメ または if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

67. I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

68. Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.

69. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

70. Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.

71. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

72. My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I 発言しました I want a 秒 opinion. He 発言しました okay, you're ugly too.

73. Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

74. ジーザス loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.

75. I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.

76. I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

77. I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch.

78. I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.

79. Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.


80. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

81. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

82. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

83. When tempted to fight 火災, 火 with fire, remember that the 火災, 火 Department usually uses water.

84. あなた are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss あなた heaps and think of あなた often.

85. I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, あなた won't be able to get into the corners very well."

86. Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

87. Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

88. With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.

89. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever あなた hit the target.

90. A bargain is something あなた don't need at a price あなた can't resist.

91. Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

92. A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

93. If winning isn't everything why do they keep score?

94. Virginity is like a soapbubble, one prick and it is gone.

95. If at first あなた don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!

96. A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when あなた are after it as when あなた are in it.

97. Hallmark Card: "I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're still here."

98. Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has never stepped on one.

99. If あなた are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have もっと見る than one child.

100. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'
2. Laugh at him.
3. Wake him up によって 歌う ビーチ Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'
4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.
5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.
6. Smile during Death Eater meetings and say あなた taught him everything he knows.
7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.
8. Dance the Funky Chicken.
9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.
10....
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Tell me if u think this is funny または not i just want to know. I got bored so i wrote this:

RANDOM GUY AND FORTUNE COOKIE!!!!


Cookie:Would あなた like to hear your fortune?


Random guy: Uhh sure I guess?


Cookie: Good *cookie stays silent*


Random guy: Uh あなた gonna tell me my fortune?


Cookie:*comes back down to earth* What?


Random guy: あなた gonna tell me my fortune または what?!?!?


Cookie:Why the hell would I tell あなた your fortune?


Random guy: あなた 発言しました あなた WOULD!!!!


Cookie:Well have あなた been smoking anything lately, cause clearly I am a cookie and クッキー don't talk nor tell people fortunes.


Random guy:0.o But you...
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 ajl's user アイコン
ajl's user icon
Hello fellow ランダム fanpopers,
i am writting this to inform あなた that a certain new fanpoper with the ユーザー名 of ajl has recently claimed she created this spot. She created a 質問 saying that she was the creator of the spot and she created a フォーラ saying that she was the creator and we should respect her wishes and not post twilight stuff. Now あなた will not be able to find these two contributions why あなた ask well because when me and BellaCullen96 questioned her about being the spot creator she deleted both. but if あなた want proof that she 発言しました this check out this forum
link
Now あなた may ask...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere ?
‘Hold my purse.’

Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don’t generate a lot of interest.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

If God wanted us to fly, He would have 与えられた us tickets.

Girls are like phones. We 愛 to be held, talked too but if あなた press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected!

I’m very メリダとおそろしの森 generally, he went on in a low voice: “Only today I happen...
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posted by Lola90210
GOD HATES ME

Chapter 1

        God Hates Me.
-ate some fries.
-Went to bed.

Chapter 2

        I am in a better mood today because I did my prayers and God spoke to me and he promised to put me in a group with my friends.
God Loves Me.

Chapter 3

        God must die! He is being so unreasonable!!! I asked him to put me in a group with my フレンズ but does he listen??! No! God is a bitch!
-I'm an エモ from now on
-Went to bed

Chapter 4

        God...
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posted by prettystar
Hi Mommy!
I am only 3/4 of an inch long,
But I have all my organs.
I 愛 the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it,
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your ハート, 心 beat
Is my お気に入り lullaby.

Month Two.

Mommy,
Today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If あなた could see me
You could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my ホーム though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three.

You know what Mommy,
I'm a boy!
I hope that makes あなた happy.
I always want あなた to be happy.
I don't like it when あなた cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too,
And I cry with あなた even though
You can't hear...
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Supports your body’s antioxidant and nutritional needs.





--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MonaVie™ features a delicious blend of the Brazilian açai berry—one of nature's 上, ページのトップへ superfoods—and 18 other body-beneficial fruits. This Balance-Variety-Moderation approach to nutrition delivers powerful antioxidants and phytonutrients to help fight free radicals and maintain your body's 全体, 全体的です health.

The Premier Açai Blend™
MonaVie's delicious blend of body-beneficial fruits is designed to nourish your body with powerful antioxidants and...
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posted by BellaCullen96
Bring a small cactus to class with you. Raise your hand, and when you're called on, say that the cactus has a question. Turn and look at the cactus, as if you're waiting for it to say something. After a few moments, shrug, and wait for your professor to 移動する on. Do this once a day, and become increasingly irritated with the cactus every time, sighing heavily and giving it evil looks when it fails to "speak." When あなた leave the room after class, start yelling at the cactus, "I can't believe あなた embarrassed me AGAIN...."
Bring a vacuum to class. Halfway through class, stand up and start using...
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posted by BellaSwan636
 I NOT HAS A PMS!!!!! - k.
I NOT HAS A PMS!!!!! - k.
-Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says to the other,"Jeez, it's hot in here!" The other one goes,"Aaah!!! Talking muffin!"

-A blonde is driving in her car, past all these fields. Suddenly, she sees a sunflower field with a broken down ボート in the middle, and another blonde is sitting in it, rowing and rowing. The blonde in the car stops, gets out and screams at the other blonde,"It's blondes like you that make blondes like us look bad! I swear, if I could swim, I'd come over there and slap you!"

-A blonde and a brunette are on a road trip. The brunette is driving, and she thinks her indicator...
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posted by Little_Cullen
O.K, so the other 日 we were handed this picture and told to write a poem. Well, あなた know me. This is what I came up with.

Giggle Giggle went the lad’s,
For they were doing something bad,
What they were holding in their hands,
Oh, it was not the building plans!

Leaders of the building team,
Oh - so - sensible they seemed,
But what nobody else did see,
Was making them chuckle with glee!

One of them looked over his shoulder,
One of the men, the picture holder,
Just to make absolutely sure,
No one thought them immature.

When he saw the coast was clear,
Once もっと見る at the picture did he peer,
And I’m sure によって now you’re aware,
Exactly what that man saw there!
okay, so people, my friend Megan and I are making a SECRET club that anyone can join!!! Though it's not a secret any more... Yeah, the SECRET club is called F.S. which stands for Fishy Stuff. And we made a spot on ファンポップ for F.S. soo あなた can join. Here is the club's rules:

1. Rules are made for breaking
2. Fishy stuff is not a club for people who want to discuis eating fishies
3. In order to 登録する F.S. あなた must eat at least 100,000 muffins.
4. Ignore theses rules
5. Break every rule appart from this one.
6. お茶, 紅茶 is like soup
7. Don't drink the laptop
8. EVERYTHING is yellow
9. this rule does not exist,...
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posted by TDIlover226
1# wait till there talking on the phone and say "your talking to that hooker again arn't you, I know she has problems but theres no need to go all phycaitrist on her.

2# stand 次 to her and go "toast?" and wait like your waiting for an answer, then go "hello, arn't あなた even gonna answer?" wait till they say what? then go "well, あなた need an aointment to go to that hair stylist", then wait again for them to say something else and go "YOU NEVER RESPECTED ME!" and run out of the room.

3# (this ones for boys) wait until your sister is talking with フレンズ then run up and sit between them and go...
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So there has been a lot of new horror 映画 coming out and a lot of people doing dumb stuff in that movie.

So I'm gonna help あなた survive. you're welcome.

1. Don't take a trip to a secluded area.
-You could go to Vegas, New York, Paris so why the hell go into a damn desert.

2.Don't invite your boyfriend and the local village slut on the same trip. And don't get mad when they have sex.
-You knew she was a slut so don't get mad when it goes down

3.Don't run out of your hiding spot if the killer can't see you.
-He can't see you! He doesn't know where あなた are! Stay there and shut the hell up.

4.Don't...
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User: Hey.


Cleverbot: How are you?


User: Good and you?


Cleverbot: Yes, good thanks! How old are you?


User: 16.


Cleverbot: You're old.

User: Thanks alot! :(.

Cleverbot: You're welcome!

User: I was being sarcastic.

Cleverbot: So was I.

User: Oh ok. That makes sense. It's hard to tell on the computer.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yesh really. Do あなた like ponies?

Cleverbot: No, do あなた like ponies?

User: Yes. But, ユニコーン are better.

Cleverbot: ユニコーン aren't real.

User: YES THEY ARE! HOW DARE あなた SAY THAT!

Cleverbot: Hey, I just met you, chill!!

User: あなた 発言しました ユニコーン aren't real. :( I thought あなた were my friend....
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posted by invadercalliope
Hi i'm Invader Calliope!
1.I cry for the time that あなた were almost mine, I cry for the memories i've left behind,I cry for the pain, the lost, the old the new,i cry for the times i thought i had you.
2.Not all scars show, not all wounds heal sometimes あなた can't always see the pain someone feels
3.One 日 you'll ask me, "which is もっと見る important to you, me または your life" i'll say "My Life" and you'll go and leave me without knowing あなた are my life.
4.A breakup is like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself trying to fix it.
5.if your 愛 does NOT work for that person,...
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posted by jeannette27
 laminin protein cell
laminin protein cell
Now tell me that our God is not the coolest!!!
Amazing.
The glue that holds us together....ALL of us....is in the shape of the cross.
Immediately Colossians 1:15-17 comes to mind.
"He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation.
For によって him all things were created; things in heaven and on earth , visible and invisible,
whether thrones または powers または rulers または authorities;
all things were created によって him and for him.
He is before all things,
and in him all things HOLD TOGETHER. "
Colossians 1:15-17
 laminin protein cell
laminin protein cell
 laminin cell
laminin cell
Mapquest Driving Directions is a web mapping service that provides detailed driving directions, traffic updates, and maps for various modes of transportation, including cars, bicycles, and public transportation. Mapquest Driving Directions is available on the web, as well as on mobile devices through the Mapquest app.

Cruise control, on the other hand, is a feature found in many modern cars that allows drivers to set a constant speed for their vehicle. With cruise control, drivers can relax their feet and maintain a consistent speed without needing to constantly adjust the accelerator pedal....
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Developing word recognition is the main and outstanding benefit of link. Specifically, whenever あなた need to 検索 for a word in a huge number of words または in case あなた face troubles with the arrangement of letters, Word finder will be the best solution. So, what Word finder can help you?
- Learning context clues
- Expanding vocabulary and supplementing education resources
- Completing word searches
Do あなた know any other advantages of word finder? Please let me know!