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posted by KateKicksAss
This is a bunch of the funnies FML's I've found on FML lately.
Credit: link




"Today, I went to the 映画 with my boyfriend. As we got to the ticket booth, a couple of girls queued behind us. My boyfriend graciously introduced me as his little sister, and invited the girls to 登録する us. We've been together for two years. FML"


"Today, I found out that my dad makes me wear dresses and skirts not because I look pretty in them, but because he was sick and tired of people asking him if I was a boy または a girl. FML"

"Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML"


"Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, または even a girl for that matter. FML"


"Today, I met my soon-to-be step mother. My dad was right, we had a lot in common. Including our birth year. FML"


"Today, as I was sleeping I heard something bang on my door. I walked on my balcony only to find my boyfriend throwing rocks trying to wake me. He didn't see me and threw a rock right into my eye. FML"


"Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if あなた reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML"


"Today, I spent fifteen 分 looking for my phone in my car before I realized I was using it as a flashlight. FML"


"Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart によって shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride ホーム from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML"


"Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML"

Well, do their lives suck, または did they totally deserve it? XD
added by 3xZ
Source: 3xZ
added by nmdis
added by breebree446
posted by AnnaSmiley
Coca-Cola would be green if colouring weren’t added to it.

What is called a "French kiss" in the English speaking world is known as an "English kiss" in France.

The average lead pencil will draw a line 35 miles long または write approximately 50,000 English words

In 1386, a pig in France was executed によって public hanging for the murder of a child

You can't kill yourself によって holding your breath

There is a city called Rome on every continent


It's against the law to burp, または sneeze in a church in Nebraska, USA.

Dolphins sleep with one eye open!

It is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open

Queen Elizabeth I...
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