What's the craziest rumor あなた have heard about yourself?

One of my フレンズ on this site called me a squirrel, a gay squirrel, just によって looking at my user icon. That's really weird, even from him. I'm not a squirrel. This is just my user icon, a mascot of the Universiade 1987 (the 大学 Games) held in my hometown of Zagreb, Croatia. Zagi was the name of that mascot. Those Colors（色） on „my" tail are the Colors（色） of the Universiade, much like the Olympic circles, and they have absolutely nothing to do with a 虹 Flag, または me being gay. It's just a lucky coincidence! I mean, where did あなた ever see a リス who can type on a laptop and speak English? Nowhere! I'm just another human being, hiding behind my user アイコン like a mask, just like anybody else on this site, but あなた know I'm not a squirrel, I'm a real person. I don't even have a リス for a pet!!!

Well it started as a joke but got blown out of proportions and became a rumor. Because I had long hair, was too poor to afford a backpack so used my dad's military duffel bag in school, wore black clothes and had a Punisher T-shirt, my フレンズ nicknamed me School Shooter, cause it was 2016 and offensive jokes were just normal. So we were at the lunch table, laughing about all the great offensive stuff, like "Holocaust didn't happen" and all that, and then some humongous fat 雌犬 walked up and said, "So, you're the school shooter, huh? あなた wanna tell me what that's about" and she wanted me to go to the principal's office and I told her no, mostly cause she wasn't even a teacher, and then she left to tell the principal, and it went nowhere because I never made any threats または anything like that, but people still thought I would break down one day. Spoiler: I never did and I graduated with grades ranging from Cs

That I was a lesbian. That in itself Is kinda normal standard rumor stuff. But there was a rumor at the same time that I was dating three guys.

Jokes on y'all I'm ace.

Donald Trump was going to run for president, haha. Oh wait.... ah #%*&

That I wear a wig. The rumor spread back when I was in high school. It did bother me for a few years but then I got used to it.

that one time i held hands with my virtual hologram waifu. obviously not true

it was my neighbor's virtual hologram waifu