I think I have a phobia of checking my Eメール and messages on fanpop. Is this normal? What is this called?

Well I know what caused it. I have been broken up with によって the ファンポップ message thing. So now, every time I try to check it, my ハート, 心 beats very fast and I'm scared. I flinch back and close my eyes and クロス my fingers when I click the 受信箱 button. My eyes stay wide and refuse to blink with fear if i happen to see a message from my current bf, just because of the past. I end up having to wipe tears off my face just because of something that turns out to be 'Whats up?'