How to Get Away With Murder recap: 'Hi, I'm Philip' 

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Oliver got a little too hack-happy and did in fact get kidnapped by the über-sketchy Philip, the geeky, socially stilted bastard Hapstall child who the Keating Company hopes has the matching DNA to link him to the Hapstall murder scene. BUT! While I thought Ollie’s abduction was the first of a series of unfortunate events that would lead to Connor’s undoing on the Night of the Fancy Mansion, the whole thing was…well, resolved relatively quickly.

Philip and his abductee, Oliver, surprise everyone by showing up at the Keating house unscathed and at precisely the moment they’re discussing Ollie’s kidnapping. Turns out, it wasn’t a kidnapping. He just wanted to

! (This is coincidentally how all of my Tinder dates go.) (Also, if there was no kidnapping, then Connor and Oliver need to have a serious conversation about shutting the fridge door before leaving the apartment.)

Philip, now on the receiving end of about ten staring faces who think he’s a murderer, is as calm and collected as someone can be in such a bizarre situation. He explains he only made the fake gay profile when he knew he was being hacked — and as far as having any link to the dead Hapstall parents? Philip swears his birth parents live in Iowa and he bears no relation to the rich folks. So, Annalise asks him what he wants. His answer is a shrug and an “I don’t know yet,” almost as noncommittal and disinterested as when you have to choose the “Netflix” part of “Netflix and chill.” And so Philip just leaves, taking with him the threat of about two-dozen criminal charges he could potentially press.

Naturally, a team of lawyers (and whatever the f— Frank is) launch into damage-control mode: Connor destroys Oliver’s computer, Nate tails Philip (to, womp, a boring delivery job), and Frank rushes to the hospital to get a DNA test that’ll link Philip to his birth parents

place him at the crime scene before any charges can be pressed.

It’s a tense waiting game, made worse by the Desolation of Sinclair and the great plea deal of 2015.

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DA Sinclair, who remains probably the worst TV guest star this season (and that includes three of the recurring bones on

), has managed to throw a tempting bone to the Hapstalls in the form of a plea-deal offer. Not much progress has been made in their case lately, and Caleb and Catherine are feeling the strain of the velocity shift. Silence can’t be a good thing in a murder case, right? They’re seduced by the idea of ending it all, and can you blame them? A plea deal means no more public scrutiny, some light time in jail (which, thanks to

, kind of looks like fun!), and a triumphant emergence from the other side like a British songstress crooning “hello.”

Annalise wants nothing to do with this plea deal, so she enlists Michaela and Wes to talk sense into the Hapstalls. Michaela tries to convince Caleb

to take it, but reckless, useless, predictably counterproductive Wes advises Catherine to accept it.

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