[duplicate 投稿されました on 書く spot]
An idea popped into my head the other 日 and its been playing like a little movie in my head ever since. I really need to know if its any good, または if the idea has already been used. Also I need アドバイス for the characters and their names. I also appreciate constructive criticism and grammar and spelling. The names are temporary. I've never written a book that is completely in the present tense so please help me catch any tense mistakes! Um, oh yeah. It doesn't have a タイトル yet so if あなた have any suggestions just let me know!
(: Thanks!
-Carly
The story is jumbled a bit. It is because the characters are experiencing tough times and can't think straight, so since they tell it, the story is a little jumpy.
Here is a a short プレビュー of the 1st chapter to an unnamed story in the making along with a summary of the book.
"Good morning," I hear the principal say as she does every day. Normally, I would politely respond to that with a "Thank あなた Mrs. Monrale, あなた too," but today I am pissed. How can she say that?! It was awful of her to say such a thing! It is most definitely not a good morning, I mutter to myself as she is all the way down the hallway now.
I pace around, taking a long route to my locker where, as always, the two cheerleaders on either side of my locker are cheerfully chatting. Normally I would say "Excuse me," but today I'm not normal. I can't bring myself to say WHY I'm so abnormal today. I'm not ready to get into that yet. Today is awful, life is just a dismay, people are always in your way, the principal is disgusting, the cheerleaders are horrid, and I am mad - mad at everyone and everything, everywhere.
That is a プレビュー of chapter one, in the the female protagonist, Josepheenah's point of view.
Here is a summary of the whole book:
Ever since Josepheenah 発言しました the words "I wish you'd just die, Eli," she has never stopped regretting them. Jo and Eli really got along until he decided to fall in 愛 with her. He loved the pool of brown in her eyes and the black mess of hair that she had always hated. Eli found her laugher to be 音楽 to his ears. Her voice was melodic and always on key. Jo always knew what to say to him, until she says the last words Eli ever heard her say. She took none of this seriously. But Eli would do anything Jo wanted. They were at her house at the time, so when Jo got up to get them a snack, he gave her what she asked for. Jo comes back to messages written on her mirror in blood, and balled up 愛 notes Eli never had the guts to give to her. Read the novel to get the story from both sides, and how everything turns out in the end.
Thanks for helping me out! x :)
An idea popped into my head the other 日 and its been playing like a little movie in my head ever since. I really need to know if its any good, または if the idea has already been used. Also I need アドバイス for the characters and their names. I also appreciate constructive criticism and grammar and spelling. The names are temporary. I've never written a book that is completely in the present tense so please help me catch any tense mistakes! Um, oh yeah. It doesn't have a タイトル yet so if あなた have any suggestions just let me know!
(: Thanks!
-Carly
The story is jumbled a bit. It is because the characters are experiencing tough times and can't think straight, so since they tell it, the story is a little jumpy.
Here is a a short プレビュー of the 1st chapter to an unnamed story in the making along with a summary of the book.
"Good morning," I hear the principal say as she does every day. Normally, I would politely respond to that with a "Thank あなた Mrs. Monrale, あなた too," but today I am pissed. How can she say that?! It was awful of her to say such a thing! It is most definitely not a good morning, I mutter to myself as she is all the way down the hallway now.
I pace around, taking a long route to my locker where, as always, the two cheerleaders on either side of my locker are cheerfully chatting. Normally I would say "Excuse me," but today I'm not normal. I can't bring myself to say WHY I'm so abnormal today. I'm not ready to get into that yet. Today is awful, life is just a dismay, people are always in your way, the principal is disgusting, the cheerleaders are horrid, and I am mad - mad at everyone and everything, everywhere.
That is a プレビュー of chapter one, in the the female protagonist, Josepheenah's point of view.
Here is a summary of the whole book:
Ever since Josepheenah 発言しました the words "I wish you'd just die, Eli," she has never stopped regretting them. Jo and Eli really got along until he decided to fall in 愛 with her. He loved the pool of brown in her eyes and the black mess of hair that she had always hated. Eli found her laugher to be 音楽 to his ears. Her voice was melodic and always on key. Jo always knew what to say to him, until she says the last words Eli ever heard her say. She took none of this seriously. But Eli would do anything Jo wanted. They were at her house at the time, so when Jo got up to get them a snack, he gave her what she asked for. Jo comes back to messages written on her mirror in blood, and balled up 愛 notes Eli never had the guts to give to her. Read the novel to get the story from both sides, and how everything turns out in the end.
Thanks for helping me out! x :)
Ryan:*walks into class* ITS HUG AN ASIAN DAY! o3o
Me: -___-.......YAY! *hugs ryan* your soft...just like a teddy くま, クマ =w=
Ryan:*moves away*
Me:WHORE!! D:
David:ANYONE WANT A シマウマ, ゼブラ CAKE! FOR 50 CENTS! ITS BEEN TOUCHED MY AN ASIAN!!
Ryan: :3
Me:Lilly buy the シマウマ, ゼブラ cake!!!
Lilly:I dont hav-
Me:BUY IT!!
Lilly: O_O
David:PANTS ON THE GROUND!
Me:LOOKING LIKE A FOOL WITH YOUR PANTS ON THE GROUND XD
Verionca:PERIOD CUP!!
Me:YES!!
Me:*touches Jazz*
Jazz:SEXUAL HARSHESTMENT!(is that how あなた spell it?!)
Me:Your point is?!
Jazz:Idk
Me:*looks at hand* I have 5 figers! WHAT DOES IT MEAN!!??
Jazz:Power rangers! =w=
Me: -___-.......YAY! *hugs ryan* your soft...just like a teddy くま, クマ =w=
Ryan:*moves away*
Me:WHORE!! D:
David:ANYONE WANT A シマウマ, ゼブラ CAKE! FOR 50 CENTS! ITS BEEN TOUCHED MY AN ASIAN!!
Ryan: :3
Me:Lilly buy the シマウマ, ゼブラ cake!!!
Lilly:I dont hav-
Me:BUY IT!!
Lilly: O_O
David:PANTS ON THE GROUND!
Me:LOOKING LIKE A FOOL WITH YOUR PANTS ON THE GROUND XD
Verionca:PERIOD CUP!!
Me:YES!!
Me:*touches Jazz*
Jazz:SEXUAL HARSHESTMENT!(is that how あなた spell it?!)
Me:Your point is?!
Jazz:Idk
Me:*looks at hand* I have 5 figers! WHAT DOES IT MEAN!!??
Jazz:Power rangers! =w=
あなた always helped me with all my troubles
and i'd do the same for you
when i 発言しました no one cared about me
you'd say あなた do
あなた stopped me from hurting myself
and ending my life
あなた came to my rescue
and put down the knife
あなた told me あなた would be nothing
if I wasn't there
those words showed me
あなた really cared
but there's another secret
that killing my soul
one that made me realize
あなた made me whole
it's that i 愛 you
and even though were friends
i would always 愛 あなた
until the end
I hope that one day
maybe you'll 愛 me too
and I'll be waiting for that 日 to come
and you'll say I 愛 you
and i'd do the same for you
when i 発言しました no one cared about me
you'd say あなた do
あなた stopped me from hurting myself
and ending my life
あなた came to my rescue
and put down the knife
あなた told me あなた would be nothing
if I wasn't there
those words showed me
あなた really cared
but there's another secret
that killing my soul
one that made me realize
あなた made me whole
it's that i 愛 you
and even though were friends
i would always 愛 あなた
until the end
I hope that one day
maybe you'll 愛 me too
and I'll be waiting for that 日 to come
and you'll say I 愛 you
Ok its been a while since i made a Drukies 記事 but here goes!
Awesome- Z tomorrow is the last 日 of school!!
Z- WICKED I can't wait for cheese!
Awesome- Cheese?
Z- yeah Cheese ya know the stuff あなた put on s'mores?
Awesome- Girl あなた wack!
Z- Last night i was board so i read the phone book
Awesome- Learn anyone's number?
Z- yeah George Bush's, and my teacher's number.
Awesome- Why would Bush's number be in the phone book? We don't even live in Washington DC!
Z- DUDE! PUT DOWN MY 落花生, ピーナッツ BUTTER!
Awesome- Your alergect to 落花生, ピーナッツ butter...
Z- DUDE SERIOUSLY PUT IT DOWN MY CHUNKY!
Awesome- I don't have any 落花生, ピーナッツ butter!
Z- Want a lolly pop?
Awesome- ooo what flavor?
Z- Mystery
Awesome- Your a mystery!
Z- whats that suppose to mean?
Awesome- OMG The bus is on fire!!!
Z- COOLIO!
Awesome- NO seriously! Get out!!
Z- OMG Awesome no need to get pushy!
Too be continued...
Awesome- Z tomorrow is the last 日 of school!!
Z- WICKED I can't wait for cheese!
Awesome- Cheese?
Z- yeah Cheese ya know the stuff あなた put on s'mores?
Awesome- Girl あなた wack!
Z- Last night i was board so i read the phone book
Awesome- Learn anyone's number?
Z- yeah George Bush's, and my teacher's number.
Awesome- Why would Bush's number be in the phone book? We don't even live in Washington DC!
Z- DUDE! PUT DOWN MY 落花生, ピーナッツ BUTTER!
Awesome- Your alergect to 落花生, ピーナッツ butter...
Z- DUDE SERIOUSLY PUT IT DOWN MY CHUNKY!
Awesome- I don't have any 落花生, ピーナッツ butter!
Z- Want a lolly pop?
Awesome- ooo what flavor?
Z- Mystery
Awesome- Your a mystery!
Z- whats that suppose to mean?
Awesome- OMG The bus is on fire!!!
Z- COOLIO!
Awesome- NO seriously! Get out!!
Z- OMG Awesome no need to get pushy!
Too be continued...
Once upon a time There was a girl named Abby. She loved to talk. Her teachers eventually stopped calling on her.
One day, she talked during a 火災, 火 while a kid in her class was telling her teacher where the 17 other children were.
The teacher couldn't here her, and the 検索 for the children lasted twelve hours. During that time, a gang ストール, 盗んだ five computers, three cars, seventeen dogs, and blackmailed the mayor into giving them seven grand.
Abby was expelled from the school.
When she told her parents, they imediately looked for a school for her to go to.
But the only school that gave her acceptence was the class in the juvinille deliquent center.
So she was ホーム schooled.
But she caused her parents so much trouble that in a week they ロスト their all hair and were standing on the thin line between sanity and the nut house.
So they duct-taped her mouth shut.
THE END
One day, she talked during a 火災, 火 while a kid in her class was telling her teacher where the 17 other children were.
The teacher couldn't here her, and the 検索 for the children lasted twelve hours. During that time, a gang ストール, 盗んだ five computers, three cars, seventeen dogs, and blackmailed the mayor into giving them seven grand.
Abby was expelled from the school.
When she told her parents, they imediately looked for a school for her to go to.
But the only school that gave her acceptence was the class in the juvinille deliquent center.
So she was ホーム schooled.
But she caused her parents so much trouble that in a week they ロスト their all hair and were standing on the thin line between sanity and the nut house.
So they duct-taped her mouth shut.
THE END