Here are my 一覧 of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let あなた know now i got alot of these from the YouTube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything または eating anything あなた might spit it または something.)
#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.
#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)
#3 Why was the ほうき late to work?
It overswept!
#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the ベイ, 湾 they'd be bagels.
#5 What's Michelle Obama's お気に入り vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)
#6 Why does the キノコ have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)
#7 What do あなた call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)
#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.
#9 What do あなた call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!
#10 How do あなた make an octopus giggle ten times?
あなた give him ten-tickles (tenticles)
#11 How do あなた make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!
#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!
#13 What's a chicken's お気に入り composer?
Bach!
#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between あなた and me man, something smells." (Your nose)
#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."
#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."
#17 Why can't あなた hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)
#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher 発言しました it was a piece of cake.
#19 Why did the トマト blush?
It saw the サラダ dressing.
#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)
#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)
#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.
#23 How do あなた know if it's raining ネコ and dogs?
あなた step in a poodle (puddle)
#24 How do あなた know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)
#25 How do あなた get ピカチュウ on a bus?
あなた ポケモン (pok 'em on)
#26 Why can't あなた dress with ピカチュウ in the room?
He'll ピカチュウ (peek at you)
#27 What do あなた call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)
#28 How do get holy water?
あなた boil the hell out of it!
#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD
#30 Why didn't the skeleton クロス the road?
He didn't have the guts to.
#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)
#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)
#33 What do あなた call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator
#34 What's ピンク and fluffy?
ピンク fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
ピンク fluff holding it's breath.
#35 What happens when あなた drink 7 coca colas?
あなた burp 7up
#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.
#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!
#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.
#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)
#40 what did the 魚 say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!
#41 Why can't あなた trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)
Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope あなた liked them. Make sure あなた check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
(Make sure your not drinking anything または eating anything あなた might spit it または something.)
#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.
#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)
#3 Why was the ほうき late to work?
It overswept!
#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the ベイ, 湾 they'd be bagels.
#5 What's Michelle Obama's お気に入り vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)
#6 Why does the キノコ have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)
#7 What do あなた call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)
#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.
#9 What do あなた call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!
#10 How do あなた make an octopus giggle ten times?
あなた give him ten-tickles (tenticles)
#11 How do あなた make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!
#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!
#13 What's a chicken's お気に入り composer?
Bach!
#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between あなた and me man, something smells." (Your nose)
#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."
#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."
#17 Why can't あなた hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)
#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher 発言しました it was a piece of cake.
#19 Why did the トマト blush?
It saw the サラダ dressing.
#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)
#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)
#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.
#23 How do あなた know if it's raining ネコ and dogs?
あなた step in a poodle (puddle)
#24 How do あなた know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)
#25 How do あなた get ピカチュウ on a bus?
あなた ポケモン (pok 'em on)
#26 Why can't あなた dress with ピカチュウ in the room?
He'll ピカチュウ (peek at you)
#27 What do あなた call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)
#28 How do get holy water?
あなた boil the hell out of it!
#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD
#30 Why didn't the skeleton クロス the road?
He didn't have the guts to.
#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)
#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)
#33 What do あなた call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator
#34 What's ピンク and fluffy?
ピンク fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
ピンク fluff holding it's breath.
#35 What happens when あなた drink 7 coca colas?
あなた burp 7up
#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.
#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!
#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.
#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)
#40 what did the 魚 say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!
#41 Why can't あなた trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)
Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope あなた liked them. Make sure あなた check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
DEMENTED POEMS
バラ are crap
Violets are shit
Sit on my face
And wiggle a bit
バラ are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
Cuz here comes my willy
バラ are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your shirt
And 表示する me your tits
バラ make me laugh
Violets make me titter
You're a dirty bitch
And あなた 愛 it up the shitter
バラ are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted
バラ are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I've just cum
Pass me a hanky
バラ are red
It's elementary
Let's ring your best friend
And try double entry
バラ are shit
Violets are crap
表示する me your clit
And I'll cum in your lap
バラ are red
Skidmarks are brown
Give me a blow job
And 飲み込む it down
バラ are groovy
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
And spanking my monkey
バラ are crap
Violets are shit
Sit on my face
And wiggle a bit
バラ are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
Cuz here comes my willy
バラ are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your shirt
And 表示する me your tits
バラ make me laugh
Violets make me titter
You're a dirty bitch
And あなた 愛 it up the shitter
バラ are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted
バラ are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I've just cum
Pass me a hanky
バラ are red
It's elementary
Let's ring your best friend
And try double entry
バラ are shit
Violets are crap
表示する me your clit
And I'll cum in your lap
バラ are red
Skidmarks are brown
Give me a blow job
And 飲み込む it down
バラ are groovy
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
And spanking my monkey
my friend sent me this text message a while 前 and i thought it was hilarious!!!
i need to ask あなた somethingand i want あなた to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how あなた feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want あなた to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...
Pepsi または Coke?
Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.
i need to ask あなた somethingand i want あなた to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how あなた feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want あなた to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...
Pepsi または Coke?
Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.